Most Selfish Bastard Award goes to...(drum roll)...

[The Good Reverend Roger]

http://m.sltrib.com/sltrib/mobile3/57374473-219/mars-sullivan-applicants-ken.html.csp

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

That guy . . . sounds like a total asswipe. "Enjoy life, help others, don't hurt anyone - except family, fuck those guys."

[The Good Reverend Roger]

That guy . . . sounds like a total asswipe. "Enjoy life, help others, don't hurt anyone - except family, fuck those guys."

This has to be the most ORIGINAL midlife crisis ever.

[Suu]

"Oh hey wife, I signed up to go colonize Mars. I won't be coming back. Tell the kids I said bye and we'll Skype after dinner."

I especially like the, "Should we divorce now or later" conundrum.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

That guy . . . sounds like a total asswipe. "Enjoy life, help others, don't hurt anyone - except family, fuck those guys."

This has to be the most ORIGINAL midlife crisis ever.

And it's the wife's fault for not being supportive.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

"Oh hey wife, I signed up to go colonize Mars. I won't be coming back. Tell the kids I said bye and we'll Skype after dinner."

I especially like the, "Should we divorce now or later" conundrum.

Me too. I was shouting "DIVORCE NOW!" and it scared my cat. :P

[tyrannosaurus vex]

What a grade-A bag of half-eaten dog shit. I think the idea of colonizing Mars is 1000% awesome, but do I want to know that our sister planet is populated by deadbeat dads? No, no I do not. But this is what we get in the 21st century, I guess. Anyone who isn't too busy trying to outrun starvation and civil war is a victim of Special Snowflake Syndrome, and believe the bullshit they put in inspirational posters. "If you really believe in yourself, you'll find a way not to care what you do to the people who love and need you." Kudos to this guy, because now his family gets to spend the years between now and whenever he gets the "LOL YOU'RE NOT REALLY IN" letter from Mars One, believing that he's going to fuck off and leave them to fend for themselves. He is already a ghost, so when his dreams come crashing down like his dumb ass corpse will from the rafters in the garage when he gets that letter, they'll at least be able to pretend he's died and gone to Mars.

[Suu]

What a grade-A bag of half-eaten dog shit. I think the idea of colonizing Mars is 1000% awesome, but do I want to know that our sister planet is populated by deadbeat dads? No, no I do not. But this is what we get in the 21st century, I guess. Anyone who isn't too busy trying to outrun starvation and civil war is a victim of Special Snowflake Syndrome, and believe the bullshit they put in inspirational posters. "If you really believe in yourself, you'll find a way not to care what you do to the people who love and need you." Kudos to this guy, because now his family gets to spend the years between now and whenever he gets the "LOL YOU'RE NOT REALLY IN" letter from Mars One, believing that he's going to fuck off and leave them to fend for themselves. He is already a ghost, so when his dreams come crashing down like his dumb ass corpse will from the rafters in the garage when he gets that letter, they'll at least be able to pretend he's died and gone to Mars.

Tell us how you really feel.

But yeah, I saw that there's still only going to be 24 people that are going to be actually going, and they still don't have a definitive date for it. My bet is that the program will specifically weed out folks like him, for reasons such as, oh, you know, abandonment. Something tells me his dreams are gonna come crashing down.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

What a grade-A bag of half-eaten dog shit. I think the idea of colonizing Mars is 1000% awesome, but do I want to know that our sister planet is populated by deadbeat dads? No, no I do not. But this is what we get in the 21st century, I guess. Anyone who isn't too busy trying to outrun starvation and civil war is a victim of Special Snowflake Syndrome, and believe the bullshit they put in inspirational posters. "If you really believe in yourself, you'll find a way not to care what you do to the people who love and need you." Kudos to this guy, because now his family gets to spend the years between now and whenever he gets the "LOL YOU'RE NOT REALLY IN" letter from Mars One, believing that he's going to fuck off and leave them to fend for themselves. He is already a ghost, so when his dreams come crashing down like his dumb ass corpse will from the rafters in the garage when he gets that letter, they'll at least be able to pretend he's died and gone to Mars.

Tell us how you really feel.

But yeah, I saw that there's still only going to be 24 people that are going to be actually going, and they still don't have a definitive date for it. My bet is that the program will specifically weed out folks like him, for reasons such as, oh, you know, abandonment. Something tells me his dreams are gonna come crashing down.

More likely "Nobody is going."

[Nephew Twiddleton]

That guy . . . sounds like a total asswipe. "Enjoy life, help others, don't hurt anyone - except family, fuck those guys."

This has to be the most ORIGINAL midlife crisis ever.

Yep, I think that's what it is.

You know if you want to leave your wife that's one thing, people get divorced all the time, but this has gotta be the wussiest way to do it. "Sorry babe, gotta go to Mars." And if he can't stay in TWO marriages, how does he expect to deal with the same 3 people for the rest of his life in close quarters?

[hooplala]

I propose Kim & Kanye, Justin Bieber, and that guy from TMZ.  I'd be happy with them on a one way trip to Mars.

Oh, and, Shia LaBeouf.

[Suu]

That guy . . . sounds like a total asswipe. "Enjoy life, help others, don't hurt anyone - except family, fuck those guys."

This has to be the most ORIGINAL midlife crisis ever.

Yep, I think that's what it is.

You know if you want to leave your wife that's one thing, people get divorced all the time, but this has gotta be the wussiest way to do it. "Sorry babe, gotta go to Mars." And if he can't stay in TWO marriages, how does he expect to deal with the same 3 people for the rest of his life in close quarters?

I wonder, in his mind, that he actually thinks that this is a great idea. And that his kids are going to think it's awesome that their absentee father signed up to go to Mars without repercussion.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

That guy . . . sounds like a total asswipe. "Enjoy life, help others, don't hurt anyone - except family, fuck those guys."

This has to be the most ORIGINAL midlife crisis ever.

Yep, I think that's what it is.

You know if you want to leave your wife that's one thing, people get divorced all the time, but this has gotta be the wussiest way to do it. "Sorry babe, gotta go to Mars." And if he can't stay in TWO marriages, how does he expect to deal with the same 3 people for the rest of his life in close quarters?

I wonder, in his mind, that he actually thinks that this is a great idea. And that his kids are going to think it's awesome that their absentee father signed up to go to Mars without repercussion.

Douche: I want to put my stamp on history. My kids will think I'm a hero!
Kids: Dad, please, please, please don't go to Mars.
Douche: Proud of me!

Years later (assuming successfully completing the program):
Daughter: Yeah, it would have been nice to have my dad walk me down the aisle if he wasn't such a self absorbed dick that fucked off to Mars.

Meanwhile on Mars:
Douche: Mars is boring. These people suck. I hate it here. At least my kids are proud of me.

[Suu]

That guy . . . sounds like a total asswipe. "Enjoy life, help others, don't hurt anyone - except family, fuck those guys."

This has to be the most ORIGINAL midlife crisis ever.

Yep, I think that's what it is.

You know if you want to leave your wife that's one thing, people get divorced all the time, but this has gotta be the wussiest way to do it. "Sorry babe, gotta go to Mars." And if he can't stay in TWO marriages, how does he expect to deal with the same 3 people for the rest of his life in close quarters?

I wonder, in his mind, that he actually thinks that this is a great idea. And that his kids are going to think it's awesome that their absentee father signed up to go to Mars without repercussion.

Douche: I want to put my stamp on history. My kids will think I'm a hero!
Kids: Dad, please, please, please don't go to Mars.
Douche: Proud of me!

Years later (assuming successfully completing the program):
Daughter: Yeah, it would have been nice to have my dad walk me down the aisle if he wasn't such a self absorbed dick that fucked off to Mars.

Meanwhile on Mars:
Douche: Mars is boring. These people suck. I hate it here. At least my kids are proud of me.

My guess is that he'd be married 2 more times. You know, for procreating purposes.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

But it's his dweam.
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