Author Topic: ROGER IS IN CHARGE OF MY LOVE LIFE ITT  (Read 9183 times)

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Horrible Bastard
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 90457
    • View Profile
Re: ROGER IS IN CHARGE OF MY LOVE LIFE ITT
« Reply #90 on: January 22, 2014, 07:57:25 pm »
OH HERE'S A LIVE ONE:

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/lets-party-on?cf=messages

Quote
What does your spiritual advisor tell you about live money and more


What you mean his head is full of bees

This is my third attempt.  Hotkeys keep eating my posts.  I hate this laptop so much my dick is hard. 

Dear Mr Midlife Crisis,

What I mean by "his head is full of bees" is sort of like "his head is full of malice, broken glass, and petrified old prophylactics", only more aggressively so.  He is a bad person on just about every level, but so were just about all the old testament prophets (Samuel?  HELLO!).

I don't understand what you mean by "live money and more", unless you meant "life, money, and more", in which case it's what he HASN'T said.  I swear to God, he never shuts up when he gets a case of the holies.

"Money" is something that he should have, apparently.  It is the root of all evil, and he wishes to selflessly take the evil onto himself, so we should send him all the filthy lucre that is currently or in the future staining our souls.  Life seems to annoy him.  On hearing of the possibility of life on Mars, he shot his television with some ridiculously large handgun and fucked off into the desert for 3 weeks.  He does that fairly often.

And "other"?  Christ on a barstool, that assmonkey has an opinion about EVERYTHING, and he's more than happy to bray it (and a gallon of spittle) into your horrified face.  In public.  With people watching.  This is precisely why I chose a holy man that lives 2000 miles away, and only visit him once a decade.  Last time I went down, he was in the throes of benzodiazapam withdrawal, and had decided to alleviate it by pouring bourbon down himself.  I told him it was a bad idea, but he wasn't listening, he was screaming out the window at some tea party slob, while my horrified (then) boyfriend drove.  Then he puked out the window and had some kind of fit. 

He doesn't have good ideas, he just has holiness.  Specifically, you feel much more glad to be alive when you leave his presence.

If you have any specific questions, I shall be happy to pass them on, but caveat emptor, if you catch my drift.

- Nigel

Good times.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

  • v=1/3πr2h
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 77698
  • The sky tastes like red exuberance.
    • View Profile
Re: ROGER IS IN CHARGE OF MY LOVE LIFE ITT
« Reply #91 on: January 22, 2014, 10:03:45 pm »
It might be time to revive my profile, and this thread.  :lulz:
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


The Good Reverend Roger

  • Horrible Bastard
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 90457
    • View Profile
Re: ROGER IS IN CHARGE OF MY LOVE LIFE ITT
« Reply #92 on: January 22, 2014, 10:14:04 pm »
It might be time to revive my profile, and this thread.  :lulz:

I'm down.  Bored to tears, these days.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.