ROGER IS IN CHARGE OF MY LOVE LIFE ITT

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Roger is like CYRANO, only with shitty sticks, sausage grinders and Fatboy Slim's next abortion. 

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Roger is like CYRANO, only with shitty sticks, sausage grinders and Fatboy Slim's next abortion. 

And my nose isn't quite THAT big.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

MOAR.  MY NEED IS MOAR.

I have a lot of stress to toss out, here.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

We've been chatting. He's alright, artsy, maybe reasonably smart but with low self-esteem.

Which means it would be irresponsible of me to go there, I would wreck him.

I admire your restraint. Save your wrath love for the hipsters, Nigel!

Too late.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

For some reason, nobody's replying. 

Maybe I need you to write me a new profile.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

OH HERE'S A LIVE ONE:

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/lets-party-on?cf=messages

What does your spiritual advisor tell you about live money and more


What you mean his head is full of bees

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

For those who are internet-impaired, here are the contents of his profile:

You're visiting lets-party-on

What I'm doing with my life
I'm trying to make my life better and full filling to the fullest

I'm really good at
Cooking , baking, singing landscaping, I'm a really good listener for women

The first things people usually notice about me
I look younger than I am.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Favorite books Stephen king , food is pizza movie super troopers I love all kinds of music I'm not picky

The six things I could never do without
1.Water ,Friends ,Music Family Life itself, my cell phone

I spend a lot of time thinking about
How I can improve my life and make it better .And to buy my own place. And make things better

On a typical Friday night I am
I'm watching a movie on TV and relaxing

The most private thing I'm willing to admit
I love to clean house I love to dance to music and get my grove on .

I'm looking for

    Girls who like guys
    Ages 28–48
    Near me
    For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, activity partners, long-distance penpals, casual sex

You should message me if
You want to know more about me ,or if you have any other questions

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

I wonder if he's selectively deaf towards men. Like, when guys talk, he just hears grunting and farts. That would be a weird mutant power to have.

[Cain]

How can people notice he looks younger as he is as the first thing about him?  BEEP BOOP DOES NOT COMPUTE.  REDO ERROR FROM START.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

OH HERE'S A LIVE ONE:

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/lets-party-on?cf=messages

What does your spiritual advisor tell you about live money and more


What you mean his head is full of bees

This is my third attempt.  Hotkeys keep eating my posts.  I hate this laptop so much my dick is hard. 

Dear Mr Midlife Crisis,

What I mean by "his head is full of bees" is sort of like "his head is full of malice, broken glass, and petrified old prophylactics", only more aggressively so.  He is a bad person on just about every level, but so were just about all the old testament prophets (Samuel?  HELLO!).

I don't understand what you mean by "live money and more", unless you meant "life, money, and more", in which case it's what he HASN'T said.  I swear to God, he never shuts up when he gets a case of the holies.

"Money" is something that he should have, apparently.  It is the root of all evil, and he wishes to selflessly take the evil onto himself, so we should send him all the filthy lucre that is currently or in the future staining our souls.  Life seems to annoy him.  On hearing of the possibility of life on Mars, he shot his television with some ridiculously large handgun and fucked off into the desert for 3 weeks.  He does that fairly often.

And "other"?  Christ on a barstool, that assmonkey has an opinion about EVERYTHING, and he's more than happy to bray it (and a gallon of spittle) into your horrified face.  In public.  With people watching.  This is precisely why I chose a holy man that lives 2000 miles away, and only visit him once a decade.  Last time I went down, he was in the throes of benzodiazapam withdrawal, and had decided to alleviate it by pouring bourbon down himself.  I told him it was a bad idea, but he wasn't listening, he was screaming out the window at some tea party slob, while my horrified (then) boyfriend drove.  Then he puked out the window and had some kind of fit. 

He doesn't have good ideas, he just has holiness.  Specifically, you feel much more glad to be alive when you leave his presence.

If you have any specific questions, I shall be happy to pass them on, but caveat emptor, if you catch my drift.

- Nigel

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

That's fucking beautiful. 

I'd have just asked him about the goddamn trees. He said "I love to dance to music and get my grove on."

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

How can people notice he looks younger as he is as the first thing about him?  BEEP BOOP DOES NOT COMPUTE.  REDO ERROR FROM START.

THANK YOU! I was wondering the same thing.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I wonder if he's selectively deaf towards men. Like, when guys talk, he just hears grunting and farts. That would be a weird mutant power to have.

How can people notice he looks younger as he is as the first thing about him?  BEEP BOOP DOES NOT COMPUTE.  REDO ERROR FROM START.

I'd have just asked him about the goddamn trees. He said "I love to dance to music and get my grove on."

All of these thoughts also passed through my head in a glorious crescendo of WTFLOL.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

OH HERE'S A LIVE ONE:

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/lets-party-on?cf=messages

What does your spiritual advisor tell you about live money and more


What you mean his head is full of bees

This is my third attempt.  Hotkeys keep eating my posts.  I hate this laptop so much my dick is hard. 

Dear Mr Midlife Crisis,

What I mean by "his head is full of bees" is sort of like "his head is full of malice, broken glass, and petrified old prophylactics", only more aggressively so.  He is a bad person on just about every level, but so were just about all the old testament prophets (Samuel?  HELLO!).

I don't understand what you mean by "live money and more", unless you meant "life, money, and more", in which case it's what he HASN'T said.  I swear to God, he never shuts up when he gets a case of the holies.

"Money" is something that he should have, apparently.  It is the root of all evil, and he wishes to selflessly take the evil onto himself, so we should send him all the filthy lucre that is currently or in the future staining our souls.  Life seems to annoy him.  On hearing of the possibility of life on Mars, he shot his television with some ridiculously large handgun and fucked off into the desert for 3 weeks.  He does that fairly often.

And "other"?  Christ on a barstool, that assmonkey has an opinion about EVERYTHING, and he's more than happy to bray it (and a gallon of spittle) into your horrified face.  In public.  With people watching.  This is precisely why I chose a holy man that lives 2000 miles away, and only visit him once a decade.  Last time I went down, he was in the throes of benzodiazapam withdrawal, and had decided to alleviate it by pouring bourbon down himself.  I told him it was a bad idea, but he wasn't listening, he was screaming out the window at some tea party slob, while my horrified (then) boyfriend drove.  Then he puked out the window and had some kind of fit. 

He doesn't have good ideas, he just has holiness.  Specifically, you feel much more glad to be alive when you leave his presence.

If you have any specific questions, I shall be happy to pass them on, but caveat emptor, if you catch my drift.

- Nigel

Oh this is gonna be good.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

That's fucking beautiful. 

I'd have just asked him about the goddamn trees. He said "I love to dance to music and get my grove on."

If he tells you he's a pagan, ask if he's on TCC. It could be EBS or C_A in disguise or something.