OPEN BAR: it rubs the lotion on the skin or it gets the hose again

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

FTR, I've said it before and I'm sure I'll say it again, but I cringe whenever I see "autistic" used as a slur or as a synonym for "socially dysfunctional" because there are some autistic people in my life that I care about.

Yeah, you're right,  that one needs to go.

We need a word for F5, F5, F5 x infinity, guys.

How about "spectator"? or maybe "rubbernecker"?

"Food tube".

"Colon".

[Suu]

So my parents got a kitten back in October. His name is Ace, and it's the first boy kitten they've had in 20 years. My sister, being the strange person that she is, is OBSESSED WITH HIS TESTICLES. Granted, she was like 5 and a half when we got Triple (last boy cat) and didn't really pay any attention to his parts, but for whatever reason, when she's at my parents' place, she feels it necessary to pick the cat up and show off his balls.

"Look at his little corn nuts! LOOK AT THEM! THEY'RE SO FUZZY!"

So.

He gets snippity snipped on Wednesday. My mom is planning to run out to the craft store while he's at the vet and buying little black and white puffballs right about the same size, and then sewing them together. So, the next time my sister is over post-snip, my mom is going to give her these little puffball nuts in a jar, and videoing the reaction.

This is my family, PD.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

It's so sweet that your family makes sure to commemorate the special moments in life. 

[Suu]

It's so sweet that your family makes sure to commemorate the special moments in life. 

To be fair, my sister brought this upon herself.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

It's so sweet that your family makes sure to commemorate the special moments in life. 

To be fair, my sister brought this upon herself.

You're all wacky. Just plain wacky.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

So I'm sitting here living up the night before my only day off with a pile of crochet projects, some Law & Order, and enough Pepsi to sink a medium-sized life raft. And I think, gee, this is my idea of a good time; it'd be nice to get together for a Stitch 'n' Bitch with some other crafty people.

But the only ones I know local are all 80-year-old knit snobs who think crochet is déclassé and resent taking my inferior money for their precious yarns when they know I'm going to pervert it with my dirty, dirty hooking.

And the friend of a friend's fuckbuddy who wants to design 'quality cosplay armor' for me to crochet out of 'high end acrylic' so she can sell at Dragon Con. So 'we can both be rich!!!!11!!!!11!!!'.

Nah. BRB, locking my door.

[Suu]

One of my local yarn stores has a "crochet friendly" sign out front.

I didn't realize us non-knitters were actually prejudiced against. 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I am hanging out talking to my spiceuns and drinking enough wine and broth to hopefully sleep tonight.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

One of my local yarn stores has a "crochet friendly" sign out front.

I didn't realize us non-knitters were actually prejudiced against. 

Ohhh, yeah. I'm a knitter but I've seen anti-crochet bigotry. It's so fucking stupid.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

One of my local yarn stores has a "crochet friendly" sign out front.

I didn't realize us non-knitters were actually prejudiced against. 

Ohhh, yeah. I'm a knitter but I've seen anti-crochet bigotry. It's so fucking stupid.

Yeah, I know, it's terrible.

But I have to think of my property values.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

One of my local yarn stores has a "crochet friendly" sign out front.

I didn't realize us non-knitters were actually prejudiced against. 

Ohhh, yeah. I'm a knitter but I've seen anti-crochet bigotry. It's so fucking stupid.

Yeah, I know, it's terrible.

But I have to think of my property values.

It's just so . . . gauche . . . to use anything but the needles. Hooks are so plebeian. Next they'll want to sell acrylic yarns right next to the alpaca and cashmere.

ETA: I swear I can spell.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

One of my local yarn stores has a "crochet friendly" sign out front.

I didn't realize us non-knitters were actually prejudiced against. 

Ohhh, yeah. I'm a knitter but I've seen anti-crochet bigotry. It's so fucking stupid.

And it's of the few areas where men are the minority and second-class citizens. Even with people like Drew Emborsky and Jared Flood and Stephen West being all loud and proud. Which is another stupid thing to fight over. WHO CARES? Shut up and enjoy your craft.

Heaven forfend you be a male crocheter using acrylic. Won't be allowed in the yarn store for sure. Can't use the bathroom or get a pattern explained or nothin'. Might get his dirty acrylic-tainted manpaws all over the qiviut.

[Salty]

I only crochet with the coarsest hemp twine I can find.

This both assures smug superiority over those who use less sustainable resources, as well as my raw masculinity as scarves chafe my neck bloody.

SRSLY THOUGH, crafting politics? Who knew?

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Acrylic feels horrible and stabbity, but I've seen crochet that looks like tatting. It's ART.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

I only crochet with the coarsest hemp twine I can find.

This both assures smug superiority over those who use less sustainable resources, as well as my raw masculinity as scarves chafe my neck bloody.

SRSLY THOUGH, crafting politics? Who knew?

Where there are people doing a thing, there will be people fucking that thing up.