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Prophet Replacement Service

Started by Junkenstein, February 07, 2014, 10:34:25 AM

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Anna Mae Bollocks

#60
February 17, 2014, 05:22:49 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on February 15, 2014, 05:26:15 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on February 15, 2014, 12:06:40 PM
Day 5 in Tucson. Roger able to still glare from both eyes. Road rage attack about half a mile from my house. 1 guy dead, 1 guy being arrested.

I have a sneaking suspicion that guy being arrested is idiot employee. Week is just too stupid for it not to be.

Only 25 days to go.   :lulz:
[/quote

That's the thing. No matter what happens, Roger will retain the ability to glare from ALL HIS EYES.
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

The Good Reverend Roger

#61
February 17, 2014, 05:31:00 PM
Quote from: Tiddleywomp Cockletit on February 17, 2014, 05:22:49 PM
That's the thing. No matter what happens, Roger will retain the ability to glare from ALL HIS EYES.

All 3 of 'em.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Junkenstein

#62
February 18, 2014, 07:15:35 PM
Time broke in Tucson. It's flowing everywhere.

Idiot Contractor with a final, ultimate, cannot be broken, will not be broken, project critical, it's totally nearly done guy, date of the 21st requests time extension. To period unknown. Liabilities for liquidated damages explained. Scary numbers. Numbers he didn't really understand. Didn't really understand what Liable means. Or Liquidated damages.

I don't think I'll ever hear or see him ever again. Client a little upset. It was his in-house tame contractor.
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

The Good Reverend Roger

#63
February 19, 2014, 12:58:29 AM
Quote from: Junkenstein on February 18, 2014, 07:15:35 PM
Time broke in Tucson. It's flowing everywhere.

Idiot Contractor with a final, ultimate, cannot be broken, will not be broken, project critical, it's totally nearly done guy, date of the 21st requests time extension. To period unknown. Liabilities for liquidated damages explained. Scary numbers. Numbers he didn't really understand. Didn't really understand what Liable means. Or Liquidated damages.

I don't think I'll ever hear or see him ever again. Client a little upset. It was his in-house tame contractor.

Can't anyone read a contract?
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Ben Shapiro

#64
February 19, 2014, 03:50:34 AM
I shit my pants and I liked it!

Junkenstein

#65
February 19, 2014, 08:35:59 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on February 19, 2014, 12:58:29 AM
Quote from: Junkenstein on February 18, 2014, 07:15:35 PM
Time broke in Tucson. It's flowing everywhere.

Idiot Contractor with a final, ultimate, cannot be broken, will not be broken, project critical, it's totally nearly done guy, date of the 21st requests time extension. To period unknown. Liabilities for liquidated damages explained. Scary numbers. Numbers he didn't really understand. Didn't really understand what Liable means. Or Liquidated damages.

I don't think I'll ever hear or see him ever again. Client a little upset. It was his in-house tame contractor.

Can't anyone read a contract?

Apparently not. Given that the place is haemorrhaging horrific amounts of money daily, it's pretty well understood. Emergency shut-down yesterday sent approx £150 million up the flare stack. That's £150 million in a whole production pipeline literally up in smoke. It'll take about 10 days to get the place turned back on again. Pretty much all non-essential personnel off-site.

It seems that the place runs fine at about 70% but isn't too clever at 100%. They're going straight back to 100% output to minimise losses.

No-one sees the potential flaw in the plan.
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

Junkenstein

#66
February 19, 2014, 09:08:15 AM
Quote from: /b/earman on February 19, 2014, 03:50:34 AM
I shit my pants and I liked it!

You will eventually turn this into a lucrative career in the adult entertainment industry. Turns out it's part of your retirement plan.

Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

Reginald Ret

#67
February 19, 2014, 09:11:23 AM
3rd day in Tucson.
I had to explain the difference between a link on your desktop and a file on your desktop. Again. To four coworkers, 2 of which are assistant supervisors. One of those is a PC gaming addict.

6th day of Tucson.
Workload quintupled. Half my workers are sick, half of what is left is untrained.

8th dat of Tucson.
Some coworkers seem convinced there is a teleporter or matter desintegrator in the watercooler because they keep dumping every first cup of water into the driptray when there is clearly no drainpipe coming out of the freestanding watercooler. They do this while standing in a puddle of water.
I just got to work but i can't remember the last time i was somewhere else.
Lord Byron: "Those who will not reason, are bigots, those who cannot, are fools, and those who dare not, are slaves."

Nigel saying the wisest words ever uttered: "It's just a suffix."

"The worst forum ever" "The most mediocre forum on the internet" "The dumbest forum on the internet" "The most retarded forum on the internet" "The lamest forum on the internet" "The coolest forum on the internet"

The Good Reverend Roger

#68
February 19, 2014, 03:29:17 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on February 19, 2014, 08:35:59 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on February 19, 2014, 12:58:29 AM
Quote from: Junkenstein on February 18, 2014, 07:15:35 PM
Time broke in Tucson. It's flowing everywhere.

Idiot Contractor with a final, ultimate, cannot be broken, will not be broken, project critical, it's totally nearly done guy, date of the 21st requests time extension. To period unknown. Liabilities for liquidated damages explained. Scary numbers. Numbers he didn't really understand. Didn't really understand what Liable means. Or Liquidated damages.

I don't think I'll ever hear or see him ever again. Client a little upset. It was his in-house tame contractor.

Can't anyone read a contract?

Apparently not. Given that the place is haemorrhaging horrific amounts of money daily, it's pretty well understood. Emergency shut-down yesterday sent approx £150 million up the flare stack. That's £150 million in a whole production pipeline literally up in smoke. It'll take about 10 days to get the place turned back on again. Pretty much all non-essential personnel off-site.

It seems that the place runs fine at about 70% but isn't too clever at 100%. They're going straight back to 100% output to minimise losses.

No-one sees the potential flaw in the plan.

:lulz:

I think you and I have been talking about the same company.   :lulz:
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Junkenstein

#69
February 19, 2014, 03:56:43 PM
It wouldn't shock me and it would explain SO MUCH.
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

Junkenstein

#70
June 18, 2014, 07:37:50 PM
Bump.

I've been seeing through time again and Roger's been slacking.

Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

The Good Reverend Roger

#71
June 18, 2014, 08:53:28 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on June 18, 2014, 07:37:50 PM
Bump.

I've been seeing through time again and Roger's been slacking.

Roger has been running madly in circles, screaming at contractors and a fatass engineer andmaybedrinkingalittletoomuchshutup.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#72
June 18, 2014, 08:54:04 PM
Sometimes, Tucson needs me more than you guys do.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Junkenstein

#73
June 18, 2014, 08:58:32 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 18, 2014, 08:53:28 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on June 18, 2014, 07:37:50 PM
Bump.

I've been seeing through time again and Roger's been slacking.

Roger has been running madly in circles, screaming at contractors and a fatass engineer andmaybedrinkingalittletoomuchshutup.

Not provoked by the new scrote by any chance?
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

UB

#74
June 18, 2014, 09:11:49 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on February 07, 2014, 10:34:25 AM
As DOUR is bleeding from the eyes due to an overdose of future and Tucson, I am taking this opportunity to usurp oust seize for my own ends offer my humble services as a replacement Prophet.

Now I'm not as accurate as DOUR, nor as polite and tolerant of the horrors the your various futures hold.

So step right up one and all. Your future happiness, health, wealth, horrific disfiguring injuries, mistaken lottery wins and reasons for your untimely death (and in more than one instance, murder) are just a question away. Future joys and woes exposed for the low, low price of my own amusement. Do you want to know more? Of course you do!

Here's a freebie - One of you gets molested by an iguana this year. In the ear.

How delightful. Oo

They are highly aggressive creatures, arent they?
Within the grip of Err.... some are fucked in the head by a fist of fire.
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