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PD.com: "the lot of you are some of the most vicious, name calling, vile examples of humanity I've had the misfortune of attempting to communicate with.  Even attempting to mimic the general mood of the place toward people who think differently leaves a slimy feel on my skin.  Reptilian, even."

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Junkenstein, a Study in Verse

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, February 19, 2014, 06:29:05 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

February 19, 2014, 06:29:05 PM
To the tune of American Pie By Don McLean

A long, long time ago
I can still remember how Peedee used to make me smile
And I knew if I had my chance that I could spout some wicked rants
And maybe spags'd be happy for a while

But February made me shiver with every screed I'd deliver
Junkenstein playing dubstep, I couldn't take one more step
I can't remember if I cried when I read about his brony pride
But something touched me deep inside the day that peedee died

So bye, bye all you internet guys
Moved my browser to the frontpage and told Faust to just die
And Nigel was there, she was drinking wine & Rye
Singing this'll be the day Peedee dies, this'll be the day peedee dies

Did you write the book of Mu and do you have faith in vindaloo?
If Suu & Richter tell you so?
Now do you believe in rock and roll? Can Saturday Night save your mortal soul?
And can you teach me how to rant like a real troll?

Well, I know that Junk is a police plant
'Cause I saw him linking to my rant
The bastard works for special branch
Man, I want to kick him in the pants

I was a lonely middle-aged trolling fuck
With a bigmouth a keyboard and a ton of SHUT UP
But I knew I was out of luck
The day that peedee died
I started singing die, die, I hate you guys
Get off of my internets I'm fit to be tied
And Nigel was drinking paint thinner and rye
Singing this'll be the day Peedee dies, this'll be the day that PD dies

Now, for ten years we've been on this board
Before it was ruined by the British horde
When ECH fooled Lauren and Hugh
On an IP he borrowed from Pud's crew
And a voice that came from me and you

Oh, and while Lauren was looking down
ECH stole her admin crown
The old crew was tossed out
And Hugh went to OM to pout

But while we all read rants all day
The Brits snuck in through the back way
And we posted tubgirl the GIGGLES way
The day that peedee died

I was singing eat shit and die, you European guys
Ranted my guts up at peedee but peedee had died
And Nigel was drinking sterno and rye
Singing this'll be the day peedee dies, this'll be the day peedee dies

Helter skelter in apple talk
The members fucked off to facebook
150 Million morons and growing fast
smoking the pot drug grass
and posting selfie ass
With LMNO's TPS reports due Tuesday last...

Now the Tucson air was sweet perfume
While Twid played a death metal tune
Waffle got up to dance
Oh, but he never got the chance

'Cause Junkenstien tried to take the field
Twid's metal band refused to yield
Do you recall what was the deal
The day that peedee died?

I started singing get cancer and die you limey fucks
Moved over to EB&G but EB&G was fucked
And Nigel was drinking ethelyne and rye
And singing this'll be the day peedee dies, this'll be the day that peedee dies

Oh, and there we were all in one place, a generation lost in F4
With nobody left to rant some more
So come on Cain be nimble, Cain be quick
Cain got a job as a writer 'cause doom is the editor's only friend

Oh, and as I watched Junkenstein on the page
My hands were clenched in fists of rage
No angel born in hell
Could break that Satan's spell

And as the post count dropped out of sight
The Brits just snickered at my plight
I saw Junkenstein laughing with delight
The day that peedee died

I was singing die in a fire, you British spags
There's no traffic at all and the board STILL lags
And Nigel was drinking antifreeze and rye
And singing this'll be the day peedee dies, this'll be the day that peedee dies

I met a Portland girl who sang the blues
And I asked her for some happy news
But she just puked and turned away
I went down to the sacred board
Where I'd written some rants years before
But the boghopper there said the rants were archived

And in the streets the children screamed
The teabaggers cried and the liberals dreamed
But not a word was spoken
Their spirits all were broken

And the three men I admire most
ECH, Cain, and LMNO
They caught the last train for the coast
The day that peedee died

And I was screaming fuck you Junk just fucking die
Take your Scotsmen with you, nobody likes those guys
And Nigel was drinking benzine and rye
Singing this was the day peedee died, this'll be the day that peedee died

I was screaming, fuck off and die
You toofless unwashed crumpet eating guys
And Nigel was drinking gasoline and rye
Singing this'll be the day that peedee dies
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Reginald Ret

#1
February 19, 2014, 06:42:47 PM
 :alevil:
Lord Byron: "Those who will not reason, are bigots, those who cannot, are fools, and those who dare not, are slaves."

Nigel saying the wisest words ever uttered: "It's just a suffix."

"The worst forum ever" "The most mediocre forum on the internet" "The dumbest forum on the internet" "The most retarded forum on the internet" "The lamest forum on the internet" "The coolest forum on the internet"

LMNO

#2
February 19, 2014, 06:44:56 PM
 :peedee:

The Good Reverend Roger

#3
February 19, 2014, 06:45:23 PM
Well, SOMEONE had to take the blame, and we're almost out of Canadians.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Salty

#4
February 19, 2014, 06:46:59 PM
Beautiful.
The world is a car and you're the crash test dummy.

The Good Reverend Roger

#5
February 19, 2014, 06:48:00 PM
Quote from: Alty on February 19, 2014, 06:46:59 PM
Beautiful.

Best way to cure an earwig, is take it out on random passers-by.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

East Coast Hustle

#6
February 19, 2014, 07:07:11 PM
This.

This is just amazing.

10/10.
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

The Good Reverend Roger

#7
February 19, 2014, 07:08:45 PM
Quote from: Jet City Hustle on February 19, 2014, 07:07:11 PM
This.

This is just amazing.

10/10.

The hardest part was finding weirder and weirder shit for Nigel to drink.   :lol:
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Eater of Clowns

#8
February 19, 2014, 08:36:39 PM
 :aaa:
Quote from: Pippa Twiddleton on December 22, 2012, 01:06:36 AM
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 07, 2014, 01:18:23 AM
EoC doesn't make creepy.

EoC makes creepy worse.

Quote
the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

Junkenstein

#9
February 19, 2014, 09:14:22 PM
 :lulz:

I'm looking for a suitable tune to retort with. This may take some time and I doubt I'll top that.

There's some musical spags on the board right? Anyone willing to act as a preforming monkey?
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

Pæs

#10
February 19, 2014, 09:53:25 PM
This is a thing of beauty.

The Good Reverend Roger

#11
February 19, 2014, 09:57:44 PM
Quote from: Pæs on February 19, 2014, 09:53:25 PM
This is a thing of beauty.

You're next.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Pæs

#12
February 19, 2014, 10:11:30 PM

Junkenstein

#13
February 19, 2014, 10:16:02 PM
To the tune of, well, it's been hard times in extended tucson. Better after sleep.


So this is a story all about why
Roger will fuck your life upside down
Take a fucking minute
Cower right there
And I'll tell you why Roger shits Tucson everywhere

In western Cornwall born and raised
Beaten in coal mines for most of his days
Ranting, shrieking, being SO COOL
First one jumping naked in the pool
Then along came a Nigel talking plain sense
Made him re-evaluate his happenstance
One little argument and his reptile brain got scared
She spake "Off to tucson, over there".

Shackled to the next boat, cursing with fear
The bosun's pale flesh and dice in his ear
If anything, he knew this journey would not end well
But he spake: "Get me to Tucson and end this hell"

Dumped in the desert
And left there to perish
He looked upon his kingdom, cursing fate
And promising to fuck you all over yet, mate.
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

The Good Reverend Roger

#14
February 19, 2014, 10:30:17 PM
 :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.
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