Attention, Loosers

[The Good Reverend Roger]

What did she say to you when your head was in the toilet, and you were puking up the Robotussin you guzzled?  What did she whisper in your ear after you fell down in the gutter?  What, in fact, did she say when you got fired for getting all fucked up on drugs and fucking the boss's cat?

Oh, yeah, you remember.  How could you forget?  She was laughing at you, laying there with a bong stuck in your arm and crusted filth all around your neck.  You know she laughed, you HEARD her laugh.  And then and then and then she said

What did she say?

SHAKE THAT

That's right, you lousy fucking degenerate.  She told you to fucking DANCE.  Dance in your office.  Dance at your desk.  Dance while you're being written up and suspended.  Dance in their faces, shake that thing, make everyone good and sick to their stomachs.

This is Goddamn 2014.  According to the Mayans, we've all been DEAD for more than a year, so get up and RATTLE THOSE BONES!  Stop saying you can't dance to a dirge, that you can't shake that ass to the soundtrack of Schindler's List.  THINK ABOUT IT.  WHAT ELSE ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO DO?

Dance in the back of the squadcar.  Dance in the razor wire enclosure.  Dance to the nightstick fandango they're playing on your ribcage.  Dance in your little meaningless wage-slave life.  Dance with a stranger.  Dance with your wife.  Just fucking dance.

You don't see LMNO being a wallflower, and he - in his field - probably sees more DOOM than even Cain.  Sure, it's a quieter doom, but it is as implacable and unstoppable as a glacier.  And speaking of glaciers, how's the weather?  DANCE ON YOUR ICESHEET.  DANCE ON YOUR BRAND-NEW DESERT.  Dance while the topsoil all blows off into the ocean.

Because, when you get down to the nitty-gritty, you're FUCKED and DOOMED and there's NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.  So dance.

DANCE, I SAID!

Or Kill Me

[hooplala]

I feel the fucking muuuuuuuuuuuusic in me!



Thanks Roger.

[LMNO]

[East Coast Hustle]

[Pæs]

[Ben Shapiro]

YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE DANCING! I WANT TO DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY!

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

[Penumbral]

[Pæs]

LATER THAT DAY:

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Just add bourbon.

Everyone dances.

Everyone.

[P3nT4gR4m]

Just add bourbon.

Everyone dances.

Everyone.

Does punching the shit out of anyone who makes the mistake of getting too close to me count as dancing?

There's a reason I don't drink bourbon any more 

[LMNO]

Just add bourbon.

Everyone dances.

Everyone.

Does punching the shit out of anyone who makes the mistake of getting too close to me count as dancing?

There's a reason I don't drink bourbon any more 

In the right context, it's almost expected.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

[Pæs]

This was me at each intersection on my walk to work this morning, I presume I was inspired by this thread and having my Dafts Punk turned up too loud.