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Alty's Hurtling Through Meat-Space Thread

Started by Salty, May 05, 2014, 07:26:16 PM

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Salty

A personal shit thread cuz I need one, ATM

This place I am living at now, it's good. There's a little girl my son can play with, it's in a safe neighborhood, and they're letting me stay rent free at the moment. The social aspect has been good for me, pulled me out of the doom spirals.

But it wouldn't be my life if there wasn't some sort of catch. If there wasn't I'd be terrified I was trapped in some Twilight Zone nightmare.

They are a married couple, plus there's a fellow who they've known a long time. He's nice. Quiet type.

The husband of this couple, I have talked about him before. He's the guy who freaked out however many years ago when I made a move on him and then waited however many years to have his wife tell me that he did in fact have feelings for me. He said we should have a few beers sometime, talk. And then he said nothing about anything for a year. Say lavee.

After moving in I thought, well, I thought he would say, you know, something, but he just plays video games all. day. long.

He was in this poly family...thing this last year and he's all heartbroken over this lady who bailed. He keeps comparing what I went through with what he went through. Ah ha, ah ha. Well, at least you still have a devoted, caring, loving wife, dude. Actually, you should wake up thanking whatever allows for such luck for a man who rarely does the dishes or make dinner. Hell, I've been doing more of that since I've been here than he has. Then again, none of my business. They work out their system for domestic shit, fine. I'm just saying he could be a little more grateful for what he has instead of pining after some Dawkins atheist who fucked off six months ago.

I sort of gave up on him talking about that, you know, gay sex thing, and I have this thing about people too afraid of their own self to step up and say something. I don't like banging people who lack courage, and I don't like doing the emotional heavy lifting for people I am involved with. If you start doing that shit in the beginning you end up doing it all the time. Like the dishes.

So, he finally says something. Last night. When he and I are shitfaced.

Am I the only one who really, really, really hates it when people can't open up unless they're soaked in booze?

Ah, yes, the other thing. Last night, I wasn't JUST shitfaced. I was riding high on the Holy Light of Eris.

Do any of you remember...let's see it was Cain, Phox, and Nigel...that guy who commented on my FB post about people reaching a certain age and becoming wise elders, he was being a passive aggressive dick and we descended on him like clouds of doom?

Well, that was shortly after I had been silently dumped by that dudes GF. They're a poly couple, which is ironic because my FB post was based on Nigel talking about gross "relationship queer" dudes.

Anyway, the fella that lives in this house, the non-married one, is dating THAT lady and she came over last night.

I did laugh and laugh and laugh last night.

So here we all are: Me, Too-Proud-Too-Beg Dude, his wife who is an awesome human being and a very good friend, roommate, and my ex-GF, playing dominoes. I was already applying boilermakers to my soul, so I just kept at it and got Holier Than Hell.

I love socially awkward settings. Ask Nigel. It's good fun. I slip in some slight commentary to my ex-GF, which she picks up on because she's smart as a whip. Everything is actually pretty chill and defused, partially, by the Holy Light.

My ex and the dude go upstairs and bang, loudly but not for long.

And while I am trying to keep the table I'm sitting at from flying away and crashing thought the window, Mr. Wait and Wait unloads on me.

Not in the good way.

The truth is: there is no way on earth I am banging anyone in this household. This is my last stop. If this doesn't work out it's back to the van. The god damned van that, of course, has needed a bunch of repairs and still needs completely new brakes. I can't and won't fuck this shit up with stupid genitals.

Plus, I'm in no place for that kind of thing anyway. I just got my divorce decree this week. I saw my ex-wife just an hour ago, so she could sign an amended tax return. I'm just now pulling myself out of that deep dark depression. As much as I would love to get laid, I don't want to get to know anyone, and my emotional state is stable as long as I don't think about romance.

It's all just so damned SILLY.

Anyway, I needed to unload that. Thanks PD.
The world is a car and you're the crash test dummy.

The Good Reverend Roger

Alty, what you are going through sounds really Goddamn familiar. 

Oh, yeah, it was me at age 24.  I got through it.  You will too.

It's one of those times in life where, years later, you look back on it and YOU DON'T LAUGH AT ALL.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Salty

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 05, 2014, 07:30:52 PM
Alty, what you are going through sounds really Goddamn familiar. 

Oh, yeah, it was me at age 24.  I got through it.  You will too.

It's one of those times in life where, years later, you look back on it and YOU DON'T LAUGH AT ALL.

Yeah, I'm doing all my laughing right now, and for some strange reason no one joins in. Probably too much teeth.
The world is a car and you're the crash test dummy.

Salty

Right now I am just trying to ignore the hatred I feel toward ungrateful spouses, which is mighty. It's just not the time or the place for that sort of thing.

My business is sliding gently into the much again, mostly because it's summer and people go outside and play and don't think about massage until the fall.

I may not make it to the end of my lease in October, especially if I don't find another renter soon.
The world is a car and you're the crash test dummy.

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Alty on May 05, 2014, 07:42:27 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 05, 2014, 07:30:52 PM
Alty, what you are going through sounds really Goddamn familiar. 

Oh, yeah, it was me at age 24.  I got through it.  You will too.

It's one of those times in life where, years later, you look back on it and YOU DON'T LAUGH AT ALL.

Yeah, I'm doing all my laughing right now, and for some strange reason no one joins in. Probably too much teeth.

They just don't understand horrormirth.

You know how I got out of MY bad situation?
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Salty

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 05, 2014, 07:47:02 PM
Quote from: Alty on May 05, 2014, 07:42:27 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 05, 2014, 07:30:52 PM
Alty, what you are going through sounds really Goddamn familiar. 

Oh, yeah, it was me at age 24.  I got through it.  You will too.

It's one of those times in life where, years later, you look back on it and YOU DON'T LAUGH AT ALL.

Yeah, I'm doing all my laughing right now, and for some strange reason no one joins in. Probably too much teeth.

They just don't understand horrormirth.

You know how I got out of MY bad situation?

I do not, TELL ME, please.
The world is a car and you're the crash test dummy.

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Alty on May 05, 2014, 07:49:47 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 05, 2014, 07:47:02 PM
Quote from: Alty on May 05, 2014, 07:42:27 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 05, 2014, 07:30:52 PM
Alty, what you are going through sounds really Goddamn familiar. 

Oh, yeah, it was me at age 24.  I got through it.  You will too.

It's one of those times in life where, years later, you look back on it and YOU DON'T LAUGH AT ALL.

Yeah, I'm doing all my laughing right now, and for some strange reason no one joins in. Probably too much teeth.

They just don't understand horrormirth.

You know how I got out of MY bad situation?

I do not, TELL ME, please.

I moved away.  Seriously.  I got the fuck away from the toxic people I had associated with, and started over from scratch.

You live in a shitty town full of bad people.  You have to get out.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Salty

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 05, 2014, 07:52:27 PM
Quote from: Alty on May 05, 2014, 07:49:47 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 05, 2014, 07:47:02 PM
Quote from: Alty on May 05, 2014, 07:42:27 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on May 05, 2014, 07:30:52 PM
Alty, what you are going through sounds really Goddamn familiar. 

Oh, yeah, it was me at age 24.  I got through it.  You will too.

It's one of those times in life where, years later, you look back on it and YOU DON'T LAUGH AT ALL.

Yeah, I'm doing all my laughing right now, and for some strange reason no one joins in. Probably too much teeth.

They just don't understand horrormirth.

You know how I got out of MY bad situation?

I do not, TELL ME, please.

I moved away.  Seriously.  I got the fuck away from the toxic people I had associated with, and started over from scratch.

You live in a shitty town full of bad people.  You have to get out.

Sounds good. Sounds great. Can't.

I refer you to this thread as to why.

http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=35966.0
The world is a car and you're the crash test dummy.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

I think we all know and Alty definitely knows more than all of the rest of us that he needs to get the fuck out of Alaska, but not abandoning his kid does take precedent and he's a good man for putting his child first.

Alty, depending on the time horizon for that, though, it may well be worth looking into alternative escape routes, though. For example; scouting business potential in an area you want to move to, and considering the possibility of, depending on the potential income, moving ahead of your ex and son, and squirreling money into a legal fund for her to hire a lawyer and sue for full custody of her other son. With what you've said, if you would be willing to write a letter to the judge, she has a solid shot at it if she could afford a lawyer. It would suck but if you could swing a visit every other month your son would know you haven't abandoned him, and you could move them down once the custody battle was over.

Having kids does make things complicated, though. I can't look at schools outside of the Portland area, because the parent who moves is the parent who forfeits custody, and I couldn't do that.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Maybe just see how your business goes this year, and consider your options.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Suu

I'm afraid I can't really offer solid advice on the situation you're in, but I have been through divorce and shitty breakups, and can always be a good vector to vent at if you wish.

However, I will say that you're a strong motherfucker, and I KNOW you're gonna pull out of this. Things don't change overnight, they don't change tomorrow, and not the next month, either. But, they do change. I know you have it in your to stick this out, and when the time comes, you'll be looking back and this and going, "Wow. That sucked, but life is awesome now." I promise.

Good luck, man.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Ben Shapiro

Hope everything gets better Alty. If you ever need to vent just text me.

Salty

I dunno, I was laughing all night. That shit is just a giggle compared with the last year.
The world is a car and you're the crash test dummy.

Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.

I also hate it when people cannot open up unless they are marinated in alcohol.

You're a good guy in a shit situation and I hope it works out for you. I admire your fortitude, if it were someone else in this situation, I'm pretty sure Alaska would be a crater by now.
Weevil-Infested Badfun Wrongsex Referee From The 9th Earth
Slick and Deranged Wombat of Manhood Questioning
Hulking Dormouse of Lust and DESPAIRâ„¢
Gatling Geyser of Rainbow AIDS

"The only way we can ever change anything is to look in the mirror and find no enemy." - Akala  'Find No Enemy'.

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on May 06, 2014, 04:35:47 PM
I also hate it when people cannot open up unless they are marinated in alcohol.

You're a good guy in a shit situation and I hope it works out for you. I admire your fortitude, if it were someone else in this situation, I'm pretty sure Alaska would be a crater by now.

Being a good person only works if you are in a good society.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.