Books. My books.

[TheLaikanist]

My first post and it's about my own books, try not to judge me too harshly and may whatever there may be within and beyond this board not strike me down for my impudence but...

Laikanist Times (Free novella) - http://www.laikareb.com/dylanorchard/laikanist-times-novella/

Laikanist Times is the story of one planet divided by a few million years and a fistful of species divides. While the Bald Chimps are seeing apparitions and finding God (or possibly Dog) the dogs are indulging in some quantum meddling and the humans? Well, they had their time.

Rex the Bulldog sets out to change the world, for better or worse, Gdunk the Chimp aims for the stars, Yessa aims to be left alone and Raeget and Kaisabosen aim for, well, something probably. All alongside a host of characters including the good, the bad and the ugly with Jinx and the Four-Leggers, the Laikanists, the Whippet Brotherhood and the Great Salmonists each doing their best to ignore what they need to and find what they want. And all the while Laika the Space Dog is doing something, or not, depending on your point of view.

Laikanist Times is a strange and surrealist parable on the wonders and woes of religion, science, belief and talking animals. As the first novella from Dylan Malik Orchard it's less a declaration of intent and more a declaration of confusion. With the answers to none of your questions and a slew of doubts to introduce. Humour, farce, satire, sloths and Sci-Fi are mixed together in a heady literary brew*.

*'heady literary brew' may or may not actually mean anything.

&

Crashed America (Less free novel) - http://www.laikareb.com/dylanorchard/crashed-america-is-here/

When Joe sets off for those United States of America he has a whole list of plans, dreams, schemes and delusions to be lived out against an idealised Americana backdrop. Killing Jesus isn't exactly among them but, as ever, life does its own thing.

After crashing in Alabama Joe finds himself caught up in the prelude to the End of Days, with the Devil on one side, a Hillbilly clan on the other and the whole spectrum of crazy in between – from a Satanic Reagan to good old boys Waco and ET. None of which makes any sense to him, or his new found companion the born again atheist Father Fitzpatrick but with enough moonshine, guns, nuns, demons and backwoods mysticism he might just make it through. Although the rest of the world might not. A mix between dark comedy, absurdity, explosions and the obligatory sex and drugs 'Crashed America' is my debut (full length) novel.


Here's hoping they catch your eye, seems like it might be a fit and RAW looms large in my background so who knows... anyway, I'll be lurking over there...

[LMNO]

Hello, new person!

I offer some free advice: Around these parts, social interaction is highly valued. 

Of slightly less value are posts from someone we don't know plugging their material.

Of even less value are the majority of work by Robert Anton Wilson.  Especially the last third, where he sort of gives up and writes gibberish for 30 pages.

[Faust]

I like RAW and it was Illuminatus! that got me into discordianism.

If I get a chance I'll give these a read.

Now normally I'd not give a look to a plug. But you are not Ben Mac, the king of shameless self promotion who hounded us for a prolonged period, as such I'll give you a chance.

[TheLaikanist]

All fair enough and I will be lurking and, probably sporadically, posting so not just flying by to drop a plug in. Ironically whereas before I had time to routinely post in interesting places and find a corner to settle in I had none of my own work to share, now I have work to share I have a lot less time to sit and post - so everybody (rightly) views my sharing with suspicion and scorn.

No easy thing to get people to pay attention to a book though so you do what's necessary and make peace with it later.

And fair enough, LMNO, despite the occasional wall of frenetic nonsense I always found something to like in at least the majority of RAWs stuff. But then I don't specifically model myself on him or anyone else so to each their own.

[LMNO]

I may have come off a bit harsh.

[TheLaikanist]

I may have come off a bit harsh.

Compared to some I'd say yours was a positively glowing welcome to be honest.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I may have come off a bit harsh.

Compared to some I'd say yours was a positively glowing welcome to be honest.

Yeah, it wasn't a patch on what I was thinking.

[LMNO]

Oh, I know what you were thinking.


Sort of.


Then I got scared.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Oh, I know what you were thinking.


Sort of.


Then I got scared.

Me too.  I don't know if you can fit that many methed-up Canadian hockey players into a Yugo in the first place. 

[LMNO]

You need to get Richter to sharpen the hockey players first.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

You need to get Richter to sharpen the hockey players first.

Then I'd have a car full of deli-sliced Canadians.  Funny and aesthetically pleasing, but not useful.

[LMNO]

Not to mention, with that many sharpened hockey players, you're putting the Yugo at serious risk.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Not to mention, with that many sharpened hockey players, you're putting the Yugo at serious risk.

Yes, well, "Yugo".  I'm not putting hockey players in a car I value in the first place.