EAT CELEBRITY MEAT

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Listen, if you really want to know, it's beyond my ability to explain on an internet forum, because I'm just learning to understand it myself. Read a book on recapturing cell pluripotency, written by a scientist, not a science writer. Don't get sucked in by the popsci articles that make it sound like regrowing body parts is just around the bend; it's actually really complicated, not least because we don't really have a firm grasp on what we're doing. We can get a cell type to differentiate to a certain point (say, epithelial or muscle) and are even starting to figure out how to get them to go in a certain direction, but getting a group of cells to follow a blueprint, to make body parts that are more complex than epithelial cells grown on a mould, is beyond our ability for the foreseeable future, partly because we don't actually understand the blueprints or how they work. And it's not that we almost understand the blueprints; we aren't even close.

I know you don't want to believe me, and you certainly don't have to believe me. Nothing whatsoever is at stake if you don't believe me, other than possibly your disappointment when the technologies you anticipate don't materialize. But in addition to taking classes and earning a couple of low-level degrees over the last couple of years, I have been reading books and research papers, and writing papers, and going to research symposia, and talking to researchers. The primary function of the classes I've taken has been to give me the background to understand the books and papers I'm reading.

I'm interested in lab growth of true body parts, particularly teeth. Some headway has been made with teeth, which is really promising, but we're still a long way off of being able to reproduce anything functional.

[P3nT4gR4m]

They've printed a kidney, stuck it in a rat and it pissed the right color. It's not a case of programming a cell and then just letting it replicate until it grows an organ, I know this but what we have found out about cells is that they're amazingly compliant and just squirting a pile of modified cells on a scaffold is enough to encourage them to make stuff. I'm not saying that's it done now, shit is still rough as hell but I don't necessarily think it's 100 years in the future or anything like that.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

They've printed a kidney, stuck it in a rat and it pissed the right color. It's not a case of programming a cell and then just letting it replicate until it grows an organ, I know this but what we have found out about cells is that they're amazingly compliant and just squirting a pile of modified cells on a scaffold is enough to encourage them to make stuff. I'm not saying that's it done now, shit is still rough as hell but I don't necessarily think it's 100 years in the future or anything like that.

PLEASE STOP TALKING

YOU ARE DUMB. DUMB DUMB DUMB. STOP TALKING.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

You can replicate a kidney... not super effectively, but it is done... with a bag of salt water. This is called dialysis.

You have literally NO IDEA what you're talking about, and it's frustrating because it makes you sound totally stupid, and I know you're not stupid, just hopeful.

[P3nT4gR4m]

read what they did

Now let me explain how they're currently working on doing the blood vessels and tubes and shit without the stripped down organ. They've implanted a fully functional 3d printed bladder in a kid. They're laser printing booting and running designer organisms. Other dudes are sticking base pairs made out of new stuff and getting it to replicate.

None of this is speculative. That's all happening right now. The human genome is three and a bit megs of code. Stephen Friend just ran a couple of compare queries on half a million sequences and found "dozens" of new potential genes or traits to examine, by way of finding cures for all sorts of shit. Half a million! With a dataset that tiny it's a miracle he found anything. As soon as he has a couple of billion, it's going to get really interesting.

I keep telling you, it's not people who are examining the data now so we're not limited to the kind of things that people are capable of looking at. The Douglas Adams analogy works here - the machine will spit out the answers to life, the universe and everything and then scientists will try to figure out how that answer works but they can take their time, the engineers can work with the answer just fine.

[The Johnny]

I want a 3d printed rat that pees a rainbow. 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I apologize for my outburst this morning. You are just as free as anyone else to believe in anything you want to believe in.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

Nigel, serious question:

I know I'm pretty ignorant about this stuff, most of what I've heard is through Dr. Kaku and that guy is an incurable optimist and mildly addicted to doing Discovery Channel shows. What are the big stumbling blocks still in our way between where we are now and cloning dick cozies? My limited understanding leaves me thinking that we just have to build a model of whatever we want, and then throw some enthusiastically reproducing cells into the dish with it, and then dick cozy. Is it a matter of us not having any idea how to build the scaffolding for moving parts? Or is getting those cells to grow a lot harder than I've been led to believe? Or something else I'm not even considering because I only know the vaguest outline of what's going on?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Nigel, serious question:

I know I'm pretty ignorant about this stuff, most of what I've heard is through Dr. Kaku and that guy is an incurable optimist and mildly addicted to doing Discovery Channel shows. What are the big stumbling blocks still in our way between where we are now and cloning dick cozies? My limited understanding leaves me thinking that we just have to build a model of whatever we want, and then throw some enthusiastically reproducing cells into the dish with it, and then dick cozy. Is it a matter of us not having any idea how to build the scaffolding for moving parts? Or is getting those cells to grow a lot harder than I've been led to believe? Or something else I'm not even considering because I only know the vaguest outline of what's going on?

You are spot-on about building a structure that is more or less the shape of the part we want to mimic and then putting some epithelial cells in to grow on it. Thing is, a real functioning organ is made of specialized tissues and not just a layer of epithelial cells. Pluripotent cells can be made, with a significant amount of error, but getting them to go down the right specialization pathway... just one... is hit or miss, let alone getting them to selectively differentiate into the type and shape of tissues that make up organ structures. Another consideration is that we have another word for enthusiastically reproducing cells; cancer. And, not to go into it too deeply, but supposing you have figured out how to grow a sphincter muscle and cover it with epithelial cells... what is the support system for this ass-in-a-jar? How is it supposed to stay alive? It's just... silly.

[Reginald Ret]

Nigel, serious question:

I know I'm pretty ignorant about this stuff, most of what I've heard is through Dr. Kaku and that guy is an incurable optimist and mildly addicted to doing Discovery Channel shows. What are the big stumbling blocks still in our way between where we are now and cloning dick cozies? My limited understanding leaves me thinking that we just have to build a model of whatever we want, and then throw some enthusiastically reproducing cells into the dish with it, and then dick cozy. Is it a matter of us not having any idea how to build the scaffolding for moving parts? Or is getting those cells to grow a lot harder than I've been led to believe? Or something else I'm not even considering because I only know the vaguest outline of what's going on?

You are spot-on about building a structure that is more or less the shape of the part we want to mimic and then putting some epithelial cells in to grow on it. Thing is, a real functioning organ is made of specialized tissues and not just a layer of epithelial cells. Pluripotent cells can be made, with a significant amount of error, but getting them to go down the right specialization pathway... just one... is hit or miss, let alone getting them to selectively differentiate into the type and shape of tissues that make up organ structures. Another consideration is that we have another word for enthusiastically reproducing cells; cancer. And, not to go into it too deeply, but supposing you have figured out how to grow a sphincter muscle and cover it with epithelial cells... what is the support system for this ass-in-a-jar? How is it supposed to stay alive? It's just... silly.

STAY alive? Ma'am your business model is broken. We don't sell products that stay good for decades anymore, the replacement parts is where the money's at!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Nigel, serious question:

I know I'm pretty ignorant about this stuff, most of what I've heard is through Dr. Kaku and that guy is an incurable optimist and mildly addicted to doing Discovery Channel shows. What are the big stumbling blocks still in our way between where we are now and cloning dick cozies? My limited understanding leaves me thinking that we just have to build a model of whatever we want, and then throw some enthusiastically reproducing cells into the dish with it, and then dick cozy. Is it a matter of us not having any idea how to build the scaffolding for moving parts? Or is getting those cells to grow a lot harder than I've been led to believe? Or something else I'm not even considering because I only know the vaguest outline of what's going on?

You are spot-on about building a structure that is more or less the shape of the part we want to mimic and then putting some epithelial cells in to grow on it. Thing is, a real functioning organ is made of specialized tissues and not just a layer of epithelial cells. Pluripotent cells can be made, with a significant amount of error, but getting them to go down the right specialization pathway... just one... is hit or miss, let alone getting them to selectively differentiate into the type and shape of tissues that make up organ structures. Another consideration is that we have another word for enthusiastically reproducing cells; cancer. And, not to go into it too deeply, but supposing you have figured out how to grow a sphincter muscle and cover it with epithelial cells... what is the support system for this ass-in-a-jar? How is it supposed to stay alive? It's just... silly.

STAY alive? Ma'am your business model is broken. We don't sell products that stay good for decades anymore, the replacement parts is where the money's at!

Well, if people just want to fuck a rotting piece of cartilage, why bother with high technology? Just buy a bucket of chitlins!

[Reginald Ret]

Nigel, serious question:

I know I'm pretty ignorant about this stuff, most of what I've heard is through Dr. Kaku and that guy is an incurable optimist and mildly addicted to doing Discovery Channel shows. What are the big stumbling blocks still in our way between where we are now and cloning dick cozies? My limited understanding leaves me thinking that we just have to build a model of whatever we want, and then throw some enthusiastically reproducing cells into the dish with it, and then dick cozy. Is it a matter of us not having any idea how to build the scaffolding for moving parts? Or is getting those cells to grow a lot harder than I've been led to believe? Or something else I'm not even considering because I only know the vaguest outline of what's going on?

You are spot-on about building a structure that is more or less the shape of the part we want to mimic and then putting some epithelial cells in to grow on it. Thing is, a real functioning organ is made of specialized tissues and not just a layer of epithelial cells. Pluripotent cells can be made, with a significant amount of error, but getting them to go down the right specialization pathway... just one... is hit or miss, let alone getting them to selectively differentiate into the type and shape of tissues that make up organ structures. Another consideration is that we have another word for enthusiastically reproducing cells; cancer. And, not to go into it too deeply, but supposing you have figured out how to grow a sphincter muscle and cover it with epithelial cells... what is the support system for this ass-in-a-jar? How is it supposed to stay alive? It's just... silly.

STAY alive? Ma'am your business model is broken. We don't sell products that stay good for decades anymore, the replacement parts is where the money's at!

Well, if people just want to fuck a rotting piece of cartilage, why bother with high technology? Just buy a bucket of chitlins!

Why bother? My dear that is what the marketing department is for!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Nigel, serious question:

I know I'm pretty ignorant about this stuff, most of what I've heard is through Dr. Kaku and that guy is an incurable optimist and mildly addicted to doing Discovery Channel shows. What are the big stumbling blocks still in our way between where we are now and cloning dick cozies? My limited understanding leaves me thinking that we just have to build a model of whatever we want, and then throw some enthusiastically reproducing cells into the dish with it, and then dick cozy. Is it a matter of us not having any idea how to build the scaffolding for moving parts? Or is getting those cells to grow a lot harder than I've been led to believe? Or something else I'm not even considering because I only know the vaguest outline of what's going on?

You are spot-on about building a structure that is more or less the shape of the part we want to mimic and then putting some epithelial cells in to grow on it. Thing is, a real functioning organ is made of specialized tissues and not just a layer of epithelial cells. Pluripotent cells can be made, with a significant amount of error, but getting them to go down the right specialization pathway... just one... is hit or miss, let alone getting them to selectively differentiate into the type and shape of tissues that make up organ structures. Another consideration is that we have another word for enthusiastically reproducing cells; cancer. And, not to go into it too deeply, but supposing you have figured out how to grow a sphincter muscle and cover it with epithelial cells... what is the support system for this ass-in-a-jar? How is it supposed to stay alive? It's just... silly.

STAY alive? Ma'am your business model is broken. We don't sell products that stay good for decades anymore, the replacement parts is where the money's at!

Well, if people just want to fuck a rotting piece of cartilage, why bother with high technology? Just buy a bucket of chitlins!

Why bother? My dear that is what the marketing department is for!

The marketing department is slacking... there's a higher profit margin on chitlins.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

http://www.theguardian.com/science/video/2013/aug/05/google-burger-sergey-brin-lab-grown-hamburger

Brin said he wanted to invest in technologies that were "on the cusp of viability. If it succeeds there, it can be really transformative for the world." He acknowledged that some people would probably think synthetic meat was science fiction. "I actually think that's a good thing. If what you're doing is not seen by some people as science fiction, it's probably not transformative enough."

Ghostery finds one tracker at bitelabs.org: a Google Analytics tracker.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

http://www.theguardian.com/science/video/2013/aug/05/google-burger-sergey-brin-lab-grown-hamburger

Brin said he wanted to invest in technologies that were "on the cusp of viability. If it succeeds there, it can be really transformative for the world." He acknowledged that some people would probably think synthetic meat was science fiction. "I actually think that's a good thing. If what you're doing is not seen by some people as science fiction, it's probably not transformative enough."

Ghostery finds one tracker at bitelabs.org: a Google Analytics tracker.

Now THAT'S interesting.