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You know what I always say? "Always kill the mouthy one", that's what I always say.

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The Company Loves Me. The Have Sent Me a Friend.

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, June 10, 2014, 03:15:12 PM

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Pæs

#90
June 10, 2014, 09:48:14 PM
This is my favourite thread.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#91
June 10, 2014, 09:49:13 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 10, 2014, 09:47:55 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on June 10, 2014, 08:40:01 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 10, 2014, 06:40:16 PM
I think I have finally found all the fun I ever wanted.

I think he has, too.  He just doesn't know it yet.

I think he's found MORE. Possible A LOT MORE fun than he ever wanted.

Too much is always better than not enough.

Too much is NEVER enough.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

The Good Reverend Roger

#92
June 10, 2014, 09:49:36 PM
Quote from: Pæs on June 10, 2014, 09:48:14 PM
This is my favourite thread.

I have my own padawan.  My life is complete.

Did I say padawan?  I'm sure that's not what I meant.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#93
June 10, 2014, 09:50:03 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on June 10, 2014, 09:49:13 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 10, 2014, 09:47:55 PM
Quote from: The Right Reverend Nigel on June 10, 2014, 08:40:01 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 10, 2014, 06:40:16 PM
I think I have finally found all the fun I ever wanted.

I think he has, too.  He just doesn't know it yet.

I think he's found MORE. Possible A LOT MORE fun than he ever wanted.

Too much is always better than not enough.

Too much is NEVER enough.

WIDESCREEN AND LOUD AS HELL, GORGEOUS!
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Junkenstein

#94
June 10, 2014, 10:12:22 PM
Suggestions - A demotion may be in order. "Junior Morale officer" has a nice ring to it. It also allows for you to offer the incentive of him becoming "senior morale officer" when he does something right. The opportunity for promotion seems important.

You've started with Pavolv, stanford may be worth mixing in. He is wearing the uniform of a competent person. Competence is expected. Competence does not mean "Be a prick". That gets you shanked.

Learn your importance exercise - redraw a handy org chart. Hand him the old verison, ask him to update it. Then play "let's see how close your sense of importance matches reality". Lessons follow accordingly.

Captain Approach - Anyone you meet gets addressed by title. Mr X, Project whatever. He is Andy the apprentice or something else suitably demeaning. Pick something that you'll enjoy sticking.


I've got far more suggestions if you were just looking to make his life hell but I suspect you've got that more than covered on your own.
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

The Good Reverend Roger

#95
June 10, 2014, 10:25:20 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on June 10, 2014, 10:12:22 PM
Suggestions - A demotion may be in order. "Junior Morale officer" has a nice ring to it. It also allows for you to offer the incentive of him becoming "senior morale officer" when he does something right. The opportunity for promotion seems important.

You've started with Pavolv, stanford may be worth mixing in. He is wearing the uniform of a competent person. Competence is expected. Competence does not mean "Be a prick". That gets you shanked.

Learn your importance exercise - redraw a handy org chart. Hand him the old verison, ask him to update it. Then play "let's see how close your sense of importance matches reality". Lessons follow accordingly.

Captain Approach - Anyone you meet gets addressed by title. Mr X, Project whatever. He is Andy the apprentice or something else suitably demeaning. Pick something that you'll enjoy sticking.


I've got far more suggestions if you were just looking to make his life hell but I suspect you've got that more than covered on your own.

I am interested in all suggestions.  This is too funny to not take seriously.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Nephew Twiddleton

#96
June 10, 2014, 10:28:00 PM
You could, instead of promoting him to senior morale officer, transferring him to another arbitrary title.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

The Good Reverend Roger

#97
June 10, 2014, 10:28:47 PM
Quote from: Ållnephew Tvýðleþøn on June 10, 2014, 10:28:00 PM
You could, instead of promoting him to senior morale officer, transferring him to another arbitrary title.

Assistant Fleshy One.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Nephew Twiddleton

#98
June 10, 2014, 10:29:35 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 10, 2014, 10:28:47 PM
Quote from: Ållnephew Tvýðleþøn on June 10, 2014, 10:28:00 PM
You could, instead of promoting him to senior morale officer, transferring him to another arbitrary title.

Assistant Fleshy One.

:lulz:
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

Q. G. Pennyworth

#99
June 10, 2014, 10:29:50 PM
Question: what's the company/state policy on physical contact with employees? Would you get in trouble for swatting him with a newspaper? Not that I'm doubting your ability to shut him up with words alone.

The Good Reverend Roger

#100
June 10, 2014, 10:30:55 PM
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on June 10, 2014, 10:29:50 PM
Question: what's the company/state policy on physical contact with employees? Would you get in trouble for swatting him with a newspaper? Not that I'm doubting your ability to shut him up with words alone.

It's verboten.  Wouldn't do it if it was okay.

I'm trying to FIX him, not JUST fuck with him.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Junkenstein

#101
June 10, 2014, 10:41:46 PM
To that end, never underestimate the power of the "Shush". Instant primate.

Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

Pæs

#102
June 10, 2014, 11:28:14 PM
Structure his lessons with The TGRR Rules, Adages, and Redman-esque Advice for Humans.

Stage some kind of evacuation (or scenario less likely to freak everyone else the fuck out) and don't tell him about it. When he comes outside in a panic, explain calmly that "Lots of shit happens that you aren't told about."

Nephew Twiddleton

#103
June 10, 2014, 11:30:27 PM
Tell him he has to write a sermon each week, and that he will be graded on it. Deal out grades appropriately, hang graded sermon on the conference room fridge.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

Pæs

#104
June 10, 2014, 11:32:56 PM
Require him to wear a uniform.

Red shirt, MR EXPENDABLE written on the back.

I AM NOT THE MAIN CHARACTER written on the front.
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