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Started by Dildo Argentino, October 27, 2014, 12:32:19 PM

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Trivial

#615
December 06, 2014, 03:45:17 AM
 :sad:
Sexy Octopus of the Next Noosphere Horde

There are more nipples in the world than people.

Chelagoras The Boulder

#616
December 06, 2014, 04:17:05 AM
well, that's gotta be one of the more fucked up things i've heard today
"It isn't who you know, it's who you know, if you know what I mean.  And I think you do."

Doktor Howl

#617
December 06, 2014, 04:27:05 AM
Quote from: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 06, 2014, 01:29:22 AM
So this is apropos of nothing, but my housemate just got word that his crazy ex-girlfriend beat the shit out of her homeless elderly alcoholic boyfriend. In public.

I don't even know what to say. She's like 36, he's about 60, and pathetic and harmless. It's horrifying.

Yeah it is.  Domestic violence always is.

Something about the elderly part makes it worse.  Probably because I'll be elderly some day.
Molon Lube

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#618
December 06, 2014, 04:45:07 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on December 06, 2014, 04:27:05 AM
Quote from: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 06, 2014, 01:29:22 AM
So this is apropos of nothing, but my housemate just got word that his crazy ex-girlfriend beat the shit out of her homeless elderly alcoholic boyfriend. In public.

I don't even know what to say. She's like 36, he's about 60, and pathetic and harmless. It's horrifying.

Yeah it is.  Domestic violence always is.

Something about the elderly part makes it worse.  Probably because I'll be elderly some day.

Yeah it's all just bad. So bad. She has multiple compound fractures in her right hand. He didn't press charges.

"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#619
December 06, 2014, 04:48:07 PM
And capping off Nigel's Big List of Bad Ideas, I got drunk last night and slept with my housemate.

Goddammit.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#620
December 06, 2014, 04:48:43 PM
I shouldn't lie like that, that isn't even close to capping it off. I have a ton of bad ideas left.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

LMNO

#621
December 06, 2014, 08:21:44 PM
Oh, that can get ugly.  Hope you two can functionally communicate.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#622
December 06, 2014, 08:23:46 PM
Someone posted this actual ad in Tampa Bay: http://tampa.craigslist.org/pnl/dmg/4754818511.html
Apparently it didn't get any replies, so she posted this: http://tampa.craigslist.org/pnl/dmg/4755126002.html

And then I: http://tampa.craigslist.org/pnl/dmg/4793490849.html

Tampa Bay has the craziest Craigslist I've ever seen. There's also this one, in which someone is looking for someone to come care for/clean up after six dogs in the middle of the afternoon every weekday, for roughly $6.50 an hour. I love the statement that they "refuse to pay for doggie daycare"... yeah, because daycare for six dogs would cost two grand a month. You'd think they could at least spring for minimum wage. http://tampa.craigslist.org/pnl/dmg/4791675545.html
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#623
December 06, 2014, 08:38:55 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on December 06, 2014, 08:21:44 PM
Oh, that can get ugly.  Hope you two can functionally communicate.

I think it'll be fine... both of us are kind of in stages of life where we're slutty and don't really have feelings. But boy howdy, it's a little embarrassing.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#624
December 06, 2014, 11:19:26 PM
Tampa Bay Craigslist was so insane that I had to check out Portland's to compare, and as I expected it was far more sedate. I did find this amazing gem though. http://portland.craigslist.org/mlt/dmg/4791986249.html
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Q. G. Pennyworth

#625
December 07, 2014, 02:26:48 AM
Quote from: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 06, 2014, 08:23:46 PM
Someone posted this actual ad in Tampa Bay: http://tampa.craigslist.org/pnl/dmg/4754818511.html
Apparently it didn't get any replies, so she posted this: http://tampa.craigslist.org/pnl/dmg/4755126002.html

And then I: http://tampa.craigslist.org/pnl/dmg/4793490849.html

Tampa Bay has the craziest Craigslist I've ever seen. There's also this one, in which someone is looking for someone to come care for/clean up after six dogs in the middle of the afternoon every weekday, for roughly $6.50 an hour. I love the statement that they "refuse to pay for doggie daycare"... yeah, because daycare for six dogs would cost two grand a month. You'd think they could at least spring for minimum wage. http://tampa.craigslist.org/pnl/dmg/4791675545.html

All of that EVERYTHING is fantastic! I don't mind folks who think of their pets as "part of the family" but you start calling your dogs/cats/ferrets "kids" and I reserve the right to punch you square in the teeth.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#626
December 07, 2014, 04:14:44 AM
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on December 07, 2014, 02:26:48 AM
Quote from: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 06, 2014, 08:23:46 PM
Someone posted this actual ad in Tampa Bay: http://tampa.craigslist.org/pnl/dmg/4754818511.html
Apparently it didn't get any replies, so she posted this: http://tampa.craigslist.org/pnl/dmg/4755126002.html

And then I: http://tampa.craigslist.org/pnl/dmg/4793490849.html

Tampa Bay has the craziest Craigslist I've ever seen. There's also this one, in which someone is looking for someone to come care for/clean up after six dogs in the middle of the afternoon every weekday, for roughly $6.50 an hour. I love the statement that they "refuse to pay for doggie daycare"... yeah, because daycare for six dogs would cost two grand a month. You'd think they could at least spring for minimum wage. http://tampa.craigslist.org/pnl/dmg/4791675545.html

All of that EVERYTHING is fantastic! I don't mind folks who think of their pets as "part of the family" but you start calling your dogs/cats/ferrets "kids" and I reserve the right to punch you square in the teeth.

It's a sign of a boatload of crazy.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#627
December 07, 2014, 04:15:13 AM
Although EFO refers to my fat pit bull as "sausage sister".
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Chelagoras The Boulder

#628
December 07, 2014, 10:57:33 PM
Big Surprise at church today. An 80-something old man was unconscious, went into a seizure. I was actually proud of how well we handled it. Called the paramedics straight away, put him on his side and kept the airway clear, cleared the area to let them in. The guy came to after a bit, and after some coaxing agreed to go with the paramedics to the hospital.
"It isn't who you know, it's who you know, if you know what I mean.  And I think you do."

Cain

#629
December 08, 2014, 08:28:31 AM
Running the Inquisition is actually more time consuming and difficult than my current job.

"The Inquisition needs quarries!" Spend two hours fighting bandits, demons, local wildlife and, in one case, a dragon, to find a quarry and logging camp.

"The Inquisition needs elfroot!"  Ditto.

"The Inquisition needs deathroot."  Well, I can't find any deathroot.  Oh, wait, you mean it's on a part of the map I haven't unlocked yet.  Meaning I have to expend political capital and resources to acquire deathroot? ...OK then, I guess.  I'm not happy about this, though.

Dispatch the Antivan Crows to hunt down a copyright violator?  Sending in assassins seems a bit excessive...but OK.  Capture a keep without siege weaponry?  Sure, I mean I have Cassandra, and she is a one-woman battering ram.  Oh wait, now I have another location to administer?

And now I'm called back to my actual keep because someone is assaulting it with a goat.  Not "a goat is alongside him".  No, as in the goat is the weapon.  And now I have to judge what happens to, what is clearly, a crazy man?
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