Unpleasant Truths, #1: Eater of Clowns

[Doktor Howl]

EoC was supposed to be this incredible "genius" and "American hero".  That's what your history books will tell you.

But the fact is, he was a criminal and a madman.  His "improvement" on carnival rides, for example?  Who gains when you extend "The Scrambler" through concertina wire?  To what end do you immerse each car of a ferris wheel in raw sewage as it reaches the bottom?  And that's not even mentioning his sale of "Organic Cotton Candy, made with real cotton."

As for his "illustrious" military career, MOST people don't earn medals for running over bum-boats and yachts with the aircraft carrier.  MOST people would be court martialed for using new guys as sounding weights.  Or sticking the cook in the catapult, even IF the coffee was a little weak.

Fortunately, he passed away before he had a chance to run for office.  The mind reels in horror at the very notion.

He died with dignity, though.  Even I will not try to take that from him.  He was found shot to death by natural causes, strapped naked over a vaulting horse, gagged with a stained speedo, his mouth full of used condoms.  He was buried in accordance with his wishes, being weighted with orphans and thrown in the settling pond.





 

[Eater of Clowns]

 

They asked me why I needed a catapult on an aircraft carrier. They lacked vision.

[Doktor Howl]

They asked me why I needed a catapult on an aircraft carrier. They lacked vision.

It's for launching planes.

Among other things.

[Eater of Clowns]

They asked me why I needed a catapult on an aircraft carrier. They lacked vision.

It's for launching planes.

Among other things.

Not the one the cook got. Teach that fucker to water down my coffee.

[Doktor Howl]

They asked me why I needed a catapult on an aircraft carrier. They lacked vision.

It's for launching planes.

Among other things.

Not the one the cook got. Teach that fucker to water down my coffee.