21C Man, part 9: How Has Nobody Killed You Yet?

[Doktor Howl]

We staggered in to the lab in the morning.  Doug mumbled something about coffee, and started setting up a batch, while Michael and Anna started firing up the laptops.  I sat there, feeling like I had sand under my eyelids.  When I was young, a 20 hour session of programming was a doddle...At age 46, it felt like basic training all crammed into my head, stomping around singing cadence.

Anna:  "What the fuck?"

Micheal:  "Oh, shit."

"I don't want to hear words like that," I said, "Not right now."

"The code is hashed," Michael said, "It's completely bolloxed."

"What the hell happened?", Felipe asked.

Anna did some arcane stuff with the laptop.   "Last edited this morning at 6AM.  And the names of the processors have been changed to variations on the name "Cliff".

I walked to the door to the lab, and stuck my head out.  "OWNER THING!  YOUR PRESENCE IS REQUIRED IN THE LAB."

Owner thing came out of his office with that look you get on your face when you realize a brilliant idea wasn't so brilliant.

"Owner thing, you fucked with the code this morning."

"Yes.  It was sloppy code and needed to be tightened up."

"It was functional code.  Now it is non-functional.  This isn't good for either of us."

"Well, blame those hacks I hired," Owner thing said, oblivious to the fact that said hacks were just around the corner, "It was their code."

"It WAS their code, before you felt the need to piss your incompetence all over it.  You are now in direct breach of contract, having actively sabotaged the project.  This means you should hire counsel.  It won't do you any good, The Corporation can lawyer you to death without spending an additional dime, but you should at least make the attempt.  This project is dead.  So is your company."

He stood goggling at me.  Behind him, in the cube farm, Abigail burst into tears.  She apparently needed this job.

"However," I said, "In the interests of your employees, there is one remaining option that may save this project and your company."

"Um," Owner thing said.

"You will take the rest of the week off.  As in, you will not set foot in this building until I leave with functional software."

"But..."

"This is a one time offer.  Take a vacation, get paid, ooze your way along in life.  Or get squashed like a bug.  This offer is good for 30 seconds."

"OKAY!" he shouted, stormed into his office and came back out with his lunchbox.  He slammed the door on the way out of the building.  Looking around, I felt like I was being observed by prairie dogs, as people looked over their cubicles with the mininum amount of their heads showing.

"What?  Do you not have work things to do?  Do work things now."  Heads vanished.  I turned back into the lab.

Doug shoved a coffee in my hand.  "Wow, boss, you're a bit of a dick."

"I don't like being this way," I said, "It makes me feel bad.  But shit like this needs sorting."  I took a sip of the coffee, and got a little surprise.  Doug had actually made cappacino.  "DOUG!"

"Yeah?"

"This is like having coffee angels crapping rainbows in my mouth."

"Glad you like it."

"I still hate you."

"I know", Doug said, with the smugness that only those born pretty can attain.

We turned to the task of re-doing 23 hours worth of coding.

To be continued.

[LMNO]

A dick?  You are the soul of charity, to give owner thing a way out like that.

[Doktor Howl]

A dick?  You are the soul of charity, to give owner thing a way out like that.

If it was just him, I'd have gone nuclear.  But I felt bad for Abigail.

Call it a moment of weakness.

[Eater of Clowns]

He blamed it on his staff? Fastest way I can think of to get on Dok's shit list. 

[Doktor Howl]

He blamed it on his staff? Fastest way I can think of to get on Dok's shit list. 

Well, he certainly wasn't going to accept any responsibility.  This is America.

[Richter]

Note from my paranoia - does this jackhole have any remote access?

[Doktor Howl]

Note from my paranoia - does this jackhole have any remote access?

I have no idea.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Wow. 

[Doktor Howl]

Wow. 

It gets better.  It turns out that Doug can even dance.

I hate him like he was Hitler's personal fartcatcher.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Wow. 

It gets better.  It turns out that Doug can even dance.

I hate him like he was Hitler's personal fartcatcher.

A programmer who is good-looking and can dance?

This unicorn exists in Phoenix??

[Doktor Howl]

Wow. 

It gets better.  It turns out that Doug can even dance.

I hate him like he was Hitler's personal fartcatcher.

A programmer who is good-looking and can dance?

This unicorn exists in Phoenix??

I know, right?

[Aucoq]

He blamed it on his staff? Fastest way I can think of to get on Dok's shit list. 

That part made me groan.  What a tool move.   

Also, poor Abigail.