All of you are Eris...

[Nephew Twiddleton]

...but in different universes, and the only constant is that Paris just ignored Aphrodite, Athena, and Hera and gave the Golden Apple back to you.

What do you do next? You tricky prank was just ruined, but it also just made your day.

[Reginald Ret]

...but in different universes, and the only constant is that Paris just ignored Aphrodite, Athena, and Hera and gave the Golden Apple back to you.

What do you do next? You tricky prank was just ruined, but it also just made your day.

Lure Paris out of sight and force him to marry you.
Smash the apple into his junk until he dies, the fucker shouldn't have ruined your prank.
Send pictures of your honeymoon with Paris every day for weeks.
Don't bother hiding the signs of a slowly deteriorating corpse in the pictures.
The next time the goddesses have a party roll the Golden apple covered in Paris' dried blood and shit into the middle of the new party.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

...but in different universes, and the only constant is that Paris just ignored Aphrodite, Athena, and Hera and gave the Golden Apple back to you.

What do you do next? You tricky prank was just ruined, but it also just made your day.

Lure Paris out of sight and force him to marry you.
Smash the apple into his junk until he dies, the fucker shouldn't have ruined your prank.
Send pictures of your honeymoon with Paris every day for weeks.
Don't bother hiding the signs of a slowly deteriorating corpse in the pictures.
The next time the goddesses have a party roll the Golden apple covered in Paris' dried blood and shit into the middle of the new party.

[EK WAFFLR]

Can't top that.

*slow clap* , Reginald.

[Meunster]

Can't top that.

*slow clap* , Reginald.

There's people who say they can't top that.

and they mean it!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Take heart in the fact that there is actually one person on the planet who isn't a complete self-absorbed idiot. Humanity redeemed, take a vacation.

[Reginald Ret]

...but in different universes, and the only constant is that Paris just ignored Aphrodite, Athena, and Hera and gave the Golden Apple back to you.

What do you do next? You tricky prank was just ruined, but it also just made your day.

Lure Paris out of sight and force him to marry you.
Smash the apple into his junk until he dies, the fucker shouldn't have ruined your prank.
Send pictures of your honeymoon with Paris every day for weeks.
Don't bother hiding the signs of a slowly deteriorating corpse in the pictures.
The next time the goddesses have a party roll the Golden apple covered in Paris' dried blood and shit into the middle of the new party.

I may have some unresolved anger issues.

Take heart in the fact that there is actually one person on the planet who isn't a complete self-absorbed idiot. Humanity redeemed, take a vacation.

That's an interesting direction you took it!
I wonder what others will make of it?

[Eater of Clowns]

I am a Greek goddess of Strife who burned the crops and salted the earth.

I roast Paris and serve him at the wedding with the apple in his mouth.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

I take Paris out for ice cream. By five minutes in I am no longer convinced this was a good idea. By ten minutes he is the most boring thing ever. At the fifteen minute mark, the ice cream parlor is on fire and all the bystanders are bleeding honey from every orifice.

My cone of peanut butter fudge ripple is unscathed.

[Doktor Howl]

I take Paris out for ice cream. By five minutes in I am no longer convinced this was a good idea. By ten minutes he is the most boring thing ever. At the fifteen minute mark, the ice cream parlor is on fire and all the bystanders are bleeding honey from every orifice.

My cone of peanut butter fudge ripple is unscathed.

Helen turned out to be totally self-absorbed.  Talked about her hair for 3 straight hours.

Packed her off in a ship, sent her back to her hairy-ass Greeks.

[EK WAFFLR]

I'd take Paris into the future to show him what would be named after him, then enjoy his sweet salty tears of pure and utter despair.

[Doktor Howl]

I'd take Paris into the future to show him what would be named after him, then enjoy his sweet salty tears of pure and utter despair.

Also, what "Trojans" are now.

[Dubya]

Get all misty for about ten seconds and then recall that my prank is ruined - by a mortal.

I reward him with immortality, Moorcock style, where he's yanked out of his existence at random to go heroing in other continua.

Then I invent the game of bridge because I can.

[Reginald Ret]

Get all misty for about ten seconds and then recall that my prank is ruined - by a mortal.

I reward him with immortality, Moorcock style, where he's yanked out of his existence at random to go heroing in other continua.

Then I invent the game of bridge because I can.

I don't know what Moorcock is, but your plan reminds me of Sliders. And quantum leap. And the Odyssey of Odysseus.

[MMIX]

Get all misty for about ten seconds and then recall that my prank is ruined - by a mortal.

I reward him with immortality, Moorcock style, where he's yanked out of his existence at random to go heroing in other continua.

Then I invent the game of bridge because I can.

I don't know what Moorcock is, but your plan reminds me of Sliders. And quantum leap. And the Odyssey of Odysseus.

[shakes elderly english head]
Consider this educational
http://www.avclub.com/article/where-to-start-with-fantasy-overlord-michael-moorc-81614
Jeesers fuck, Sliders & Quantum Leap ???
[/shakes elderly english head]