OPEN BAR: It's actually about ethics in fictional bars

[Doktor Howl]

I fear responsibility to the point that all order and expectations terrify me. I disguise my fuck ups and crumbling sanity as eccentricities and nihilism. I'm scared someone might figure this out, so I push people away through snark.

Introspection is useless unless you do something about the problems you identify.

No thanks, I'm just going to whine about it online to strangers.

I guess the world needs emos, too. 

[Doktor Howl]

I volunteer with the Columbia Slough Watershed Council. I've been doing this for the last couple-three years. Today, I recall volunteering to help set up or break down but not both. However, what I have learned is that apparently I am going to dress as a pirate and lead small children through watershed-related activities for four hours.

I do not remember volunteering to do this, and in fact I specifically volunteered for set  up or breakdown because those are two-hour jobs and I could do other shit with my day.

I have the shuddering horrors.  I mean, granted, they're Portland children and will only grow up to be beard trainers, etc, but still.

UNSOLICITED ADVICE:  Tell them what "volunteer" means, kick someone in the face, and go about your business.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I volunteer with the Columbia Slough Watershed Council. I've been doing this for the last couple-three years. Today, I recall volunteering to help set up or break down but not both. However, what I have learned is that apparently I am going to dress as a pirate and lead small children through watershed-related activities for four hours.

I do not remember volunteering to do this, and in fact I specifically volunteered for set  up or breakdown because those are two-hour jobs and I could do other shit with my day.

I have the shuddering horrors.  I mean, granted, they're Portland children and will only grow up to be beard trainers, etc, but still.

UNSOLICITED ADVICE:  Tell them what "volunteer" means, kick someone in the face, and go about your business.

I got there 10 minutes late because it was in FUCKING SANDY, which was not clear, and I couldn't find anyone and there was no signage. So I wandered around for a while, IN THE WOODS BY MYSELF DRESSED AS A PIRATE, and then I went home. On the way out I did see some of the Slough people but by then I was pissed so I just said fuck it.

[Chelagoras The Boulder]

Good on you. That sounds like a clusterfuck.

[Cain]

Yeah, when people start changing the terms, it's time to quit.

...Says the guy whose entire job description is wrong

[Doktor Howl]

I volunteer with the Columbia Slough Watershed Council. I've been doing this for the last couple-three years. Today, I recall volunteering to help set up or break down but not both. However, what I have learned is that apparently I am going to dress as a pirate and lead small children through watershed-related activities for four hours.

I do not remember volunteering to do this, and in fact I specifically volunteered for set  up or breakdown because those are two-hour jobs and I could do other shit with my day.

I have the shuddering horrors.  I mean, granted, they're Portland children and will only grow up to be beard trainers, etc, but still.

UNSOLICITED ADVICE:  Tell them what "volunteer" means, kick someone in the face, and go about your business.

I got there 10 minutes late because it was in FUCKING SANDY, which was not clear, and I couldn't find anyone and there was no signage. So I wandered around for a while, IN THE WOODS BY MYSELF DRESSED AS A PIRATE, and then I went home. On the way out I did see some of the Slough people but by then I was pissed so I just said fuck it.

"Don't go in the woods, little Billy."

"Why not, mom?"

"There's a crazy lady out there dressed as a pirate."

This is exactly how urban legends start.

[Cain]

I forgot to ask, Nigel are you missing Inca Kola yet?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I volunteer with the Columbia Slough Watershed Council. I've been doing this for the last couple-three years. Today, I recall volunteering to help set up or break down but not both. However, what I have learned is that apparently I am going to dress as a pirate and lead small children through watershed-related activities for four hours.

I do not remember volunteering to do this, and in fact I specifically volunteered for set  up or breakdown because those are two-hour jobs and I could do other shit with my day.

I have the shuddering horrors.  I mean, granted, they're Portland children and will only grow up to be beard trainers, etc, but still.

UNSOLICITED ADVICE:  Tell them what "volunteer" means, kick someone in the face, and go about your business.

I got there 10 minutes late because it was in FUCKING SANDY, which was not clear, and I couldn't find anyone and there was no signage. So I wandered around for a while, IN THE WOODS BY MYSELF DRESSED AS A PIRATE, and then I went home. On the way out I did see some of the Slough people but by then I was pissed so I just said fuck it.

"Don't go in the woods, little Billy."

"Why not, mom?"

"There's a crazy lady out there dressed as a pirate."

This is exactly how urban legends start.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I forgot to ask, Nigel are you missing Inca Kola yet?

I hadn't actually thought about it since my very last glass of it, on the bus from Huaraz to Lima.

I cannot help but wonder what the hell would inspire such devotion in a nation for a bright yellow, Pepto-Bismol flavored fluid that is usually served warm.

[Chelagoras The Boulder]

Finished my first week at Home Depot. The people are pretty great, the only real complaints I had were that 1) because i said i had no preference for availability, i am for some reason being scheduled at the ass crack of dawn, and 2) because the store is understaffed, I am often being sent to be an associate at other other departments whether i know anything about them or not. at one point last week i was in the awkward position of being stopped every 5 minutes by customers who needed help, being unable to help them due to lack of experience or training, having to go get someone to help them, and realizing that there is no one to "get".

[Cain]

I forgot to ask, Nigel are you missing Inca Kola yet?

I hadn't actually thought about it since my very last glass of it, on the bus from Huaraz to Lima.

I cannot help but wonder what the hell would inspire such devotion in a nation for a bright yellow, Pepto-Bismol flavored fluid that is usually served warm.

In my experience, it was usually the only drink that wasn't opened up and had a bit taken off the top.  When you saw all the other drink bottles lined up, all the levels would be massively different, except that one.

I liked it, myself.

[The Wizard Joseph]

Finished my first week at Home Depot. The people are pretty great, the only real complaints I had were that 1) because i said i had no preference for availability, i am for some reason being scheduled at the ass crack of dawn, and 2) because the store is understaffed, I am often being sent to be an associate at other other departments whether i know anything about them or not. at one point last week i was in the awkward position of being stopped every 5 minutes by customers who needed help, being unable to help them due to lack of experience or training, having to go get someone to help them, and realizing that there is no one to "get".

Very glad to hear sir!

Sometimes the key is to be the person that takes the awkward shit in stride and asks for more.  The following mantra may be helpful

Verbalize,"I am payed by the hour." *inhale through nose smoothly, exhale through mouth slowly for appx twice as long* NEVER IN FRONT OF A CUSTY OR PEER
If in front of a decent boss, only one that's earned your respect, give it some humorous tone, but it will show you can deal.

The body has a natural reflex that causes the heart to slow and muscles to relax, these in turn tend to be of health benefit and drop a bit of dopamine. You will need as much natural, endogenous dopamine as possible, so be also sincere when you smile and find something you like about the customer consciously as these add to the supply. If custy is of the asshole tribe, GRIN and imagine ways they could be better to your mind, then be extra courteous as you explain that you're not an expert, but will happily find one immediately. Assholes most often gentle down some if there's an extra witness.

Other than that ask ALL the questions like a 5 year old, cuz you're new. Don't ever get down on yourself for it, use it. You have a unique immunity for several months at least as "jobnoob". If they fire you or some shit file unemployment immediately, they may even try to hire you back or "put you on the schedule again" cuz that costs and returns them NOTHING, but if it was on shitty terms simply ignore their calls and go hunting immediately, but take your time as unemployment is meant to help you have the wherewithal to find work that you are suited to.

Just some unsolicited environmental adaptation advice from the Association for Unsolicited Advisements. Best fortune!

[Cain]

OK, finally did some measuring.  Found a power supply unit that should fit inside my box.  Have ordered, will arrange for PC guy to do the upgrade again when it arrives.

And cross my fingers that I don't have to send it back/buy another thing.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

OK, finally did some measuring.  Found a power supply unit that should fit inside my box.  Have ordered, will arrange for PC guy to do the upgrade again when it arrives.

And cross my fingers that I don't have to send it back/buy another thing.

I feel like the saga of your computer spans aeons.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I tried to make rarebit today, but it turned out all soupy and weird as fuck. I think it's the cheap cheese I used. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with it, but I knew I should have spend the extra dollar on Tillamook cheese.