Author Topic: How to tell your GM is Defective  (Read 2535 times)

Don Coyote

  • Token Welshman
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 136147
    • View Profile
How to tell your GM is Defective
« on: October 11, 2015, 02:30:42 pm »
They use a supplement, but claim they hate it because they changed the core assumptions that make it work, so now it doesn't work very well (Mythic Adventures)
They think DR should always, and easily, be overcome (On two separate characters I had items that made material based DR irrelevent)
When they play in your game, after saying you MUST run PF, they complain about the amount and quality of treasure in a published by Paizo module (It gets better)
They cry about CR appropriate encounters that don't kill them, could have easily but didn't because suffering. (NIGHTMARE CREATURES)
They complain about ALMOST dying from a CR appropriate encounter, that didn't have to fight, because they just charged in (Necrocraft are sweet)
They constantly mix-up rules from 3, 3.5, and 4 with PF.

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Horrible Bastard
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 36736
    • View Profile
Re: How to tell your GM is Defective
« Reply #1 on: October 11, 2015, 05:28:41 pm »
They ever say the words "But I don't want you to level up."

or

"Clerics are busted.  You can play one, but it has the same BAB as a wizard."

or

"You can't use evasion because there's nowhere to dodge."

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Don Coyote

  • Token Welshman
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 136147
    • View Profile
Re: How to tell your GM is Defective
« Reply #2 on: October 11, 2015, 06:12:23 pm »
They ever say the words "But I don't want you to level up."

or

"Clerics are busted.  You can play one, but it has the same BAB as a wizard."

or

"You can't use evasion because there's nowhere to dodge."

"You can roll a fort save vs the fireball" to anyone.

"You have to roll for concealment vs the tarrasque even though you are top of it."

"Here is a magical item that totally negates your first mythic tier power"

"Look the game expect you to have the weapons to defeat the monsters when they become level appropriate encounters"

"Nightmare is a 5th level spell and requires at least a 9th level caster so your CR 3 monster (that we killed in one round) was definitely not a fair encounter" (Oh wait sorry that was a defective player)

"If you dare look up any of the monsters or try to reverse engineer my encounters I will have it come back at a later date more powerful" (Said after the encounter was over and we won)

"I want to you remind me when I use 3e, 3.5, or 4e rules and not PF rules" followed by "I hate rules lawyers"


Cain

  • Alea iacta est
  • Chekha
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 105039
    • View Profile
Re: How to tell your GM is Defective
« Reply #3 on: October 11, 2015, 06:40:05 pm »
"You fail a Perception test to realise a trap is actually a goblin with a spear hiding in a wall and he pokes your eye out.  -4 to all missile weapon rolls and attacks from the left side, for the rest of your life".

Still a bit salty about that one.  Especially because I was a half-ef rogue with maxed out perception who noticed the "trap" in the first place.

Don Coyote

  • Token Welshman
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 136147
    • View Profile
Re: How to tell your GM is Defective
« Reply #4 on: October 11, 2015, 06:42:41 pm »
"every-time you said 'shenanigans' I added more hp to the monsters. I've been doing this for weeks, because I can't understand humor or vocal tones"

Cainad (dec.)

  • Houseplant Supreme
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 93147
  • The Emperor's Hairy Right Hand
    • View Profile
    • Internet Forum Safari
Re: How to tell your GM is Defective
« Reply #5 on: October 11, 2015, 11:41:01 pm »
They ever say the words "But I don't want you to level up."

or

"Clerics are busted.  You can play one, but it has the same BAB as a wizard."

or

"You can't use evasion because there's nowhere to dodge."

:gonk: :crankey: :fuckoff: :pissed:  :angrymob:

:walken: :jihaad:
:mccain: :cramstipated:


Cainad,
lived through that

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Horrible Bastard
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 36736
    • View Profile
Re: How to tell your GM is Defective
« Reply #6 on: October 12, 2015, 03:48:14 am »
They ever say the words "But I don't want you to level up."

or

"Clerics are busted.  You can play one, but it has the same BAB as a wizard."

or

"You can't use evasion because there's nowhere to dodge."

:gonk: :crankey: :fuckoff: :pissed:  :angrymob:

:walken: :jihaad:
:mccain: :cramstipated:


Cainad,
lived through that

All three of those quotes are from actual game play.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Q. G. Pennyworth

  • Slimy Thing Who
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 82807
  • QUEEN BITCH OF FLYERS
    • View Profile
Re: How to tell your GM is Defective
« Reply #7 on: October 13, 2015, 01:21:57 pm »
Every single plot arc is lifted from a book, TV show, or movie. Transparently so. In a game that lasts over a year.
Overheating Pheremone Pustule of Last Saturday's Jiggle Fun| _xgeWireToEvent: Unknown extension 131, this should never happen.

Don't fucking judge me, I've got tentacles for a face.

Don Coyote

  • Token Welshman
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 136147
    • View Profile
Re: How to tell your GM is Defective
« Reply #8 on: October 13, 2015, 02:17:09 pm »
You are expected to be as eloquent as your 18+ Charisma maxed out Diplomacy character, even at 9pm after 11 hours of playing.
Alternately, you can easily ignore your character's 8 Charisma and lack of social skills by just being well spoken.

Expects you to know his houserules that aren't written down and distributed.
Alternately, ignores his own houserules.

Will argue at length that even though it's written nowhere one of the devs really did say that katana are supposed to be finessable weapons.

Q. G. Pennyworth

  • Slimy Thing Who
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 82807
  • QUEEN BITCH OF FLYERS
    • View Profile
Re: How to tell your GM is Defective
« Reply #9 on: October 13, 2015, 03:10:50 pm »
Punishes players for imagined social sleights by ruining shit for their characters.
Overheating Pheremone Pustule of Last Saturday's Jiggle Fun| _xgeWireToEvent: Unknown extension 131, this should never happen.

Don't fucking judge me, I've got tentacles for a face.

The Good Reverend Roger

  • Horrible Bastard
  • One-Armed Jizz Moppers
  • Deserved It
  • **
  • Posts: 36736
    • View Profile
Re: How to tell your GM is Defective
« Reply #10 on: October 14, 2015, 02:01:54 am »
Leaves out little details when describing a room.  Like the bigass dragon.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Cain

  • Alea iacta est
  • Chekha
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 105039
    • View Profile
Re: How to tell your GM is Defective
« Reply #11 on: October 14, 2015, 02:25:59 am »
Leaves out little details when describing a room.  Like the bigass dragon.

Or a "trap" operated by a goblin with a spear...

Cain,
not letting go of this.

The Wizard Joseph

  • Tryna transcend duality or whatever
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 47228
  • Product of Wisconsin
    • View Profile
Re: How to tell your GM is Defective
« Reply #12 on: October 14, 2015, 03:44:52 am »
Punishes players for imagined social sleights by ruining shit for their characters.

Shit like this is a big part of why I got out of LARPing.



Makes everyone roll initiative and THEN declares a surprise round without any description or perception checks, bad guys just appear out of nowhere and seem strangely knowledgeable about who's going first.

Allows noob player to play with rare or unusual character type previously denied to veterans as "unbalancing".

Has ever said an adversary character "just gets away" without any sort of check in the middle of a chase or combat without even trying to come up with a creative means or otherwise enhancing the plot.  :argh!:
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

LMNO

  • Lubricated and Rabid Lungfish of Impending Sexdoom™
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 87074
  • Internet Fuckweasel of Haunted Pork Dimensions.
    • View Profile
    • Earfatigue Productions: When it has to sound like you give a shit.
Re: How to tell your GM is Defective
« Reply #13 on: October 14, 2015, 04:53:35 am »
Leaves out little details when describing a room.  Like the bigass dragon.

Or a "trap" operated by a goblin with a spear...

Cain,
not letting go of this.

I smell a meme.

Don Coyote

  • Token Welshman
  • Deserved It
  • ****
  • Posts: 136147
    • View Profile
Re: How to tell your GM is Defective
« Reply #14 on: October 15, 2015, 02:12:36 am »
10 minutes after you send him an email explaining why you want to retired your two characters and won't show up to any sessions where a newish and less frequent player shows up, he calls up you wife telling her that if you are going to act that way you won't be welcome in his house ever again because you make him feel unsafe.