I may be a piece of shit

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

But at least when I got out of your ass the first wipe was perfectly clean.

[The Wizard Joseph]

But at least when I got out of your ass the first wipe was perfectly clean.

So... you're some kind of super-shit that leaves no traces on passage?? 

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

But at least when I got out of your ass the first wipe was perfectly clean.

So... you're some kind of super-shit that leaves no traces on passage?? 

I am a pristine turd.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Those are awesome.  Especially compared to the shits you get when you're dehydrated, and it's like trying to wipe spackle out of your butt.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

Those are awesome.  Especially compared to the shits you get when you're dehydrated, and it's like trying to wipe spackle out of your butt.

Right?

I might be a piece of shit, sure, but at least I'm not a powerful spray of viscous fecal syrup that leaves you trying to make this terrible decision of whether to wipe until it's bloody but clean or smelling faintly of diarrhea all day.

[Sung Low]

Ah, the unmitigated pleasure of a pristine turd.

A thing of beauty. Akin to the clear hawk of a throat oyster.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Those are awesome.  Especially compared to the shits you get when you're dehydrated, and it's like trying to wipe spackle out of your butt.

Right?

I might be a piece of shit, sure, but at least I'm not a powerful spray of viscous fecal syrup that leaves you trying to make this terrible decision of whether to wipe until it's bloody but clean or smelling faintly of diarrhea all day.

Show me a man who has never bled out of his rectum, and I'll show you man that nobody talks to at parties.

Um, wait.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

Those are awesome.  Especially compared to the shits you get when you're dehydrated, and it's like trying to wipe spackle out of your butt.

Right?

I might be a piece of shit, sure, but at least I'm not a powerful spray of viscous fecal syrup that leaves you trying to make this terrible decision of whether to wipe until it's bloody but clean or smelling faintly of diarrhea all day.

Show me a man who has never bled out of his rectum, and I'll show you man that nobody talks to at parties.

Um, wait.

[hooplala]

But at least when I got out of your ass the first wipe was perfectly clean.

So... you're some kind of super-shit that leaves no traces on passage?? 

I am a pristine turd.

Ah, a white-glover, a beautiful thing.

I don't believe in horoscopes, but a white-glover is always a sign of a good day to come.

[axod]

An expression of the golden lotus blossom rose, perfect future calls.

[POFP]

Those are awesome.  Especially compared to the shits you get when you're dehydrated, and it's like trying to wipe spackle out of your butt.

Right?

I might be a piece of shit, sure, but at least I'm not a powerful spray of viscous fecal syrup that leaves you trying to make this terrible decision of whether to wipe until it's bloody but clean or smelling faintly of diarrhea all day.

I don't remember the last time one of my shits wasn't like that.

To be fair, my daily chimichanga or two probably doesn't help.

But hey, almost shitting yourself on a call at work definitely beats constipation. I'd rather have someone shit on me than be constipated.