Author Topic: Soft, warm little animals  (Read 2932 times)

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Soft, warm little animals
« on: December 12, 2015, 01:33:35 am »
Something old I found while cleaning out my cloud to make room for new things. I don't recall posting it here before, so here it is. Written in 2011.


Dearest Hamish,

The bridges are singing only quietly, as it is summer, and the Dark Empress is the sanest she has ever been, for which the vagrants and hipsters, as well as Her minions, rejoice, even though we find it a bit unsettling. Not once has She visited her subterranean chambers this year, nor so much as opened the drawer in which Her dildoes and whips reside. The people of Portland are reasonably content, with a good outlook through August. Once September arrives, of course, things may change, but we can’t dwell too much on the future, can we?

The Dark Empress still thinks too much about the linguist, and we are eternally grateful for Doktor Howl’s efforts last year in helping lure him into joining with Her for a while. If the attempt failed, it was certainly through no lack of effort on the part of the supporting cabal, and we cannot overstate how much that means to us, even in this time of the Great Dampening of the Empress’ heart. We must be grateful for small blessings, for at least Her Joyful Wrath is stifled and that means many of us are spared Her great Festivities, which upon times would leave us limping and sore, if grateful to be alive.

Just a few days ago, the Empress met a gentleman in the park, and was greatly struck by his story, which She wishes to share. Twelve years ago, he was attacked because his friend danced in the club with a girl with a jealous ex-boyfriend. When they left the club, a group of men jumped them, and hit him in the head with a hammer, crushing his skull, and then viciously beat him, destroying his frontal lobe and leaving him in a coma for ten days. The man’s head does not look right, and is bisected with an impressively horrifying scar from the surgery wherein the surgeons attempted to reconstruct his forehead.  Otherwise, he is remarkably handsome; a gentle Frankenstein with a beautiful face and four young children.

You already know this story. Maybe not this story, but you know this story. These are the things that people do to each other, that make up part of the nature of humanity. There are movies about this viciousness, this terrible cruelty, made mostly by sheltered middle-class Europeans and Americans who find it a great novelty, a misery they can play Peeping Tom to. Some of us, of course, do not need to be voyeurs into the miseries the human ape inflicts upon its own. A book the Dark Empress was reading recently asked, think of the worst thing you can imagine another person inflicting upon another, the most unthinkable suffering. Something unimaginable. She put the book down and has not picked it up since, as there is no human-inflicted suffering that is not imaginable. Her dreams are already full of the Horrible Truth, there is no need to imagine.

Here is the thing; it is the Should Not Have. Because we humans, we blame the victim. The man says to himself, I Should Not Have uttered a racial epithet when I saw the men break my friend’s leg on the curb for dancing with a girl he had never seen before and would never see again. The woman says, I Should Not Have gone to that man’s house when I did not know him very well. The child says I Should Not Have let my friend’s uncle take me for a ride. And yet, they pay consequences that they did not earn. They pay the consequences of human brutality that they could never have earned, just for being human. The child who was molested pays the consequences in a lifetime of being unable to find good love, the man who is in the wrong place at the wrong time suffers mutilation and brain damage, the woman’s husband will not touch her after she is raped, the toddler who was born to the wrong mother is dead in the back seat of a car. How could anyone hold them accountable for the violence done to them? And yet, people do, and these are the gentlest of brutalities compared to what we do to our own. We set villages on fire. We starve children.

People watch movies about these things, for entertainment.

Our species invented evil.

The Dark Empress sees things when She is asleep that no person should see. She knows too many things. She is blessed, because most people see them when they are awake.

If you hold a baby, Hamish, it’s a soft, little, warm animal.

We are all soft, little warm animals.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


The Wizard Joseph

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Re: Soft, warm little animals
« Reply #1 on: December 12, 2015, 03:25:05 am »
Yeah. We're all soft, little warm animals alright, comfortable within our safe, cozy territories. Why, most of us haven't ever even been outside them, not really. Why do that? It's just not necessary when you think about it. A strong animal, the best animal really, clearly has no need to. It can keep whatever it likes in and certainly keep what might be undesirable, uncomfortable, or even truly threatening out.

Surely this MUST be so for the best animal right? Still, it's well to keep the other, surely lesser, little animals rightly informed and on their toes. Suppose they start to forget that only the best little animal deserves, and so gets, such a comfy little nest? Why, there'd be so much work and so little rest. Doesn't the best warm little animal deserve the most food, the choice of mates, and all the rest in the peace and certainty due from such unassailable, clearly rightful territory?

Surely it must! Nature provides no less, for the best, softest, warmest little animal.

But what is THIS!?
Something intrudes.
How very... RUDE!


What is this noise from beyond the boundaries of the nest of the best soft, warm little animal!? What could possibly DARE? Who is out there?

Well then best, come and see! Tis the Skinsaw warming up to solve your unrecognized, little dilemma. The Dark Empress has come to set you free. You need but obey. Truly! Heed her words and be amazed!!

"For the love of all things Alty, hold still you soft, warm little shit or else this thing will bite right into that cranium of yours I do desire to free.
It's quite well wedged up your rectum,
you see?
Oh, of course you don't yet,
silly me.
It's in there that deep so do hold still,
try not to cry or twist, and have no fear.
All is to be done Scientifically."

BRRRAAANGGG!!
BRNNGGGG!!!

     BRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNGGGG!!!    BRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANGGG!!!!!

"There that wasn't so hard really, and now to take home the brain of the best, softest, warmest little animal, to study. I needed an A+, and I should have one today. Good thing you were so smart about your territory and made sure that all the other animals knew who and where you were! Now where did I put that sample baggie? Such a soft, warm little animal deserves a good home."

You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

Sung Low

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Re: Soft, warm little animals
« Reply #2 on: December 19, 2015, 11:37:08 pm »
Well damn, Nigel, that got me right in the feels.

I'm still trying to find a way to accept these things without letting it consume me or resorting to flippancy or disassociation. Acceptance of myself would be a good start. I have got heart.









 
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Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: Soft, warm little animals
« Reply #3 on: December 19, 2015, 11:42:52 pm »
Well damn, Nigel, that got me right in the feels.

I'm still trying to find a way to accept these things without letting it consume me or resorting to flippancy or disassociation. Acceptance of myself would be a good start. I have got heart.

Thank you!

And, good luck.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


Sung Low

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Re: Soft, warm little animals
« Reply #4 on: December 20, 2015, 12:02:16 am »
Fortitude and heart.
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Q. G. Pennyworth

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Re: Soft, warm little animals
« Reply #5 on: March 31, 2016, 02:19:40 pm »
Is this one available for projects?

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: Soft, warm little animals
« Reply #6 on: March 31, 2016, 03:49:11 pm »
Is this one available for projects?

Yes, feel free.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


Q. G. Pennyworth

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Re: Soft, warm little animals
« Reply #7 on: March 31, 2016, 05:07:15 pm »

Q. G. Pennyworth

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Re: Soft, warm little animals
« Reply #8 on: March 31, 2016, 05:08:43 pm »
I know it's very plain compared to some of the other ones, but the text is so raw it felt gimmicky to mess with the visuals.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: Soft, warm little animals
« Reply #9 on: April 01, 2016, 03:33:37 am »
I love it. It's perfect.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


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Re: Soft, warm little animals
« Reply #10 on: April 04, 2016, 06:49:59 am »
I missed this before. This hit me right in the guts.
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Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: Soft, warm little animals
« Reply #11 on: April 07, 2016, 05:15:35 am »
I missed this before. This hit me right in the guts.

Thank you.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”



Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”