Soliciting Works/Ideas for Pride

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

Okay, here's my attempt.

It's Time to Take Back Confusion

Welcome to the parade! The noise, the glitter, the sweat and the screams: this is our day. I don't presume to know why you're here. You may be gay or lesbian, bi or pan or asexual, you could be trans or gender nonconforming or kinky or queer in ways I haven't even imagined. You could be a straight ally, here to support or just to participate in the festivities. It's hard to tell, with such a big tent of gender and sexual minorities coming together.

Really, the one thing holding us together is that none of us quite fit into the standard model. This applies even to LGBT+ allies, because they really should be participating in shoving us back in the closet but instead here they are appreciating our weirdness, like a bunch of freaks. We're unaccounted for, and that makes us unpredictable, and that makes us scary. We're dealing with thousands of years of tradition and assumptions, built up and calcified until it could all be taken for granted. Homophobia itself is something relatively new, historically speaking, but the things that homophobes feel we threaten are very, very old. The division of labor according to gender breaks down when there's only one gender in a home, so we have to think for ourselves, and that frightens those who have fallen back on complacency. If we have to think for ourselves and construct our own means of handling things, after all, maybe their way isn't objectively best, and if their way isn't best, what does that say about them?

It all comes down to the insecurity of lazy people who don't want to think. Listen to someone complaining about gay marriage sometime: "How am I supposed to explain this to my children?" That is the cry of a person who is not prepared to do any of their own thinking. When the fight was for marriage, we did the work for them "GAY MARRIAGE IS JUST LIKE STRAIGHT MARRIAGE" we screamed "WE ARE JUST LIKE YOU." And eventually most of them got that memo, and the Supreme Court decided that we were right, and now they don't have to think about it too much any more so it's less scary. NOW they've decided to latch all their fears on trans people, because if they can't keep the queers from acting like marriage is a contract between two consenting adults, they can at least make it hard to take a piss in safety.

But the thing is gay marriage ISN'T just like straight marriage, it's a thing that's not exactly the story we've all been told we have to live. It's thinking for ourselves, even for a moment, and deciding that what we want isn't dictated by centuries of expectations. It's a direct challenge to the authority of the dominant social narrative.

And if they were scared of that, just wait for what's coming down the pipe. Bisexuals screaming that not only does their sexuality exist, but that gay relationships aren't a consolation prize for the terminally gay? That someone who could pass as straight would put up with the hassle of fighting constantly for recognition as not-straight, would choose relationships that were harder just because that's what they wanted? What about all these trans people? Before they used to be punchlines and hookers, but now here they are in the news and on TV, having real jobs and acting like real humans all the while refusing to follow the script. And just wait til they catch on to the nonbinary or polyamorous folks!

How dare we exist? How dare we highlight just how nonsensical it is to think genitals have some kind of profound, mystical connection to who we are? Don't we know there are people whose entire identities are built on sloppy, unexamined foundations? Don't we know better than to shake things up? How rude of us. You could say identity itself is a crock, but that doesn't let our assailants off the hook. An identity handed to you on a silver platter is no more real than an identity you have to work for, and after all, identity plays a pretty vital psychological role.

We ourselves are no more confused than anyone else, but we're quite the source of confusion, aren't we? I think that's a good thing. People need to be confused. It forces them to think, it forces them to consider that they might be wrong, and honestly, that's the only way we learn anything. Of course, we don't exist for the purposes of straight cis people. We need to be confused as much as anyone else, as much as our enemies try to use confusion as a smear term. I've seen queer people treat other queer people like absolute garbage, and I think it's all in the name of avoiding confusion, just as much as bog-standard homophobia is, just as much as bog-standard transphobia is.

And it's easy to understand. When you have to deal with bigots' constant accusations that you're just confused, it's very tempting to say no, that you're very certain of exactly who you are, and that you haven't the slightest amount of doubt. But some of us don't have the luxury of certainty, and besides, this approach has other drawbacks. People are addicted to order, and to thinking we understand things when we really don't, and it's easy to get arrogant and dehumanize people. It's easy, but it's lazy. It's the same old shit we've all been putting up with from day one. Each and every one of us is a stick in the gears of someone else's worldview. We can't afford to fear the same thing, as a matter of common courtesy if nothing else. We've all had straight people and queer people alike tell us that we don't count one way or another, but I'm here to tell you that you do, whether or not you're certain of where you fit and who you are. To hell with their fake authority.

[President Television]

Okay, here's my attempt.

It's Time to Take Back Confusion

Welcome to the parade! The noise, the glitter, the sweat and the screams: this is our day. I don't presume to know why you're here. You may be gay or lesbian, bi or pan or asexual, you could be trans or gender nonconforming or kinky or queer in ways I haven't even imagined. You could be a straight ally, here to support or just to participate in the festivities. It's hard to tell, with such a big tent of gender and sexual minorities coming together.

Really, the one thing holding us together is that none of us quite fit into the standard model. This applies even to LGBT+ allies, because they really should be participating in shoving us back in the closet but instead here they are appreciating our weirdness, like a bunch of freaks. We're unaccounted for, and that makes us unpredictable, and that makes us scary. We're dealing with thousands of years of tradition and assumptions, built up and calcified until it could all be taken for granted. Homophobia itself is something relatively new, historically speaking, but the things that homophobes feel we threaten are very, very old. The division of labor according to gender breaks down when there's only one gender in a home, so we have to think for ourselves, and that frightens those who have fallen back on complacency. If we have to think for ourselves and construct our own means of handling things, after all, maybe their way isn't objectively best, and if their way isn't best, what does that say about them?

It all comes down to the insecurity of lazy people who don't want to think. Listen to someone complaining about gay marriage sometime: "How am I supposed to explain this to my children?" That is the cry of a person who is not prepared to do any of their own thinking. When the fight was for marriage, we did the work for them "GAY MARRIAGE IS JUST LIKE STRAIGHT MARRIAGE" we screamed "WE ARE JUST LIKE YOU." And eventually most of them got that memo, and the Supreme Court decided that we were right, and now they don't have to think about it too much any more so it's less scary. NOW they've decided to latch all their fears on trans people, because if they can't keep the queers from acting like marriage is a contract between two consenting adults, they can at least make it hard to take a piss in safety.

But the thing is gay marriage ISN'T just like straight marriage, it's a thing that's not exactly the story we've all been told we have to live. It's thinking for ourselves, even for a moment, and deciding that what we want isn't dictated by centuries of expectations. It's a direct challenge to the authority of the dominant social narrative.

And if they were scared of that, just wait for what's coming down the pipe. Bisexuals screaming that not only does their sexuality exist, but that gay relationships aren't a consolation prize for the terminally gay? That someone who could pass as straight would put up with the hassle of fighting constantly for recognition as not-straight, would choose relationships that were harder just because that's what they wanted? What about all these trans people? Before they used to be punchlines and hookers, but now here they are in the news and on TV, having real jobs and acting like real humans all the while refusing to follow the script. And just wait til they catch on to the nonbinary or polyamorous folks!

How dare we exist? How dare we highlight just how nonsensical it is to think genitals have some kind of profound, mystical connection to who we are? Don't we know there are people whose entire identities are built on sloppy, unexamined foundations? Don't we know better than to shake things up? How rude of us. You could say identity itself is a crock, but that doesn't let our assailants off the hook. An identity handed to you on a silver platter is no more real than an identity you have to work for, and after all, identity plays a pretty vital psychological role.

We ourselves are no more confused than anyone else, but we're quite the source of confusion, aren't we? I think that's a good thing. People need to be confused. It forces them to think, it forces them to consider that they might be wrong, and honestly, that's the only way we learn anything. Of course, we don't exist for the purposes of straight cis people. We need to be confused as much as anyone else, as much as our enemies try to use confusion as a smear term. I've seen queer people treat other queer people like absolute garbage, and I think it's all in the name of avoiding confusion, just as much as bog-standard homophobia is, just as much as bog-standard transphobia is.

And it's easy to understand. When you have to deal with bigots' constant accusations that you're just confused, it's very tempting to say no, that you're very certain of exactly who you are, and that you haven't the slightest amount of doubt. But some of us don't have the luxury of certainty, and besides, this approach has other drawbacks. People are addicted to order, and to thinking we understand things when we really don't, and it's easy to get arrogant and dehumanize people. It's easy, but it's lazy. It's the same old shit we've all been putting up with from day one. Each and every one of us is a stick in the gears of someone else's worldview. We can't afford to fear the same thing, as a matter of common courtesy if nothing else. We've all had straight people and queer people alike tell us that we don't count one way or another, but I'm here to tell you that you do, whether or not you're certain of where you fit and who you are. To hell with their fake authority.

Looks good.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

Okay, here's my attempt.

It's Time to Take Back Confusion

Welcome to the parade! The noise, the glitter, the sweat and the screams: this is our day. I don't presume to know why you're here. You may be gay or lesbian, bi or pan or asexual, you could be trans or gender nonconforming or kinky or queer in ways I haven't even imagined. You could be a straight ally, here to support or just to participate in the festivities. It's hard to tell, with such a big tent of gender and sexual minorities coming together.

Really, the one thing holding us together is that none of us quite fit into the standard model. This applies even to LGBT+ allies, because they really should be participating in shoving us back in the closet but instead here they are appreciating our weirdness, like a bunch of freaks. We're unaccounted for, and that makes us unpredictable, and that makes us scary. We're dealing with thousands of years of tradition and assumptions, built up and calcified until it could all be taken for granted. Homophobia itself is something relatively new, historically speaking, but the things that homophobes feel we threaten are very, very old. The division of labor according to gender breaks down when there's only one gender in a home, so we have to think for ourselves, and that frightens those who have fallen back on complacency. If we have to think for ourselves and construct our own means of handling things, after all, maybe their way isn't objectively best, and if their way isn't best, what does that say about them?

It all comes down to the insecurity of lazy people who don't want to think. Listen to someone complaining about gay marriage sometime: "How am I supposed to explain this to my children?" That is the cry of a person who is not prepared to do any of their own thinking. When the fight was for marriage, we did the work for them "GAY MARRIAGE IS JUST LIKE STRAIGHT MARRIAGE" we screamed "WE ARE JUST LIKE YOU." And eventually most of them got that memo, and the Supreme Court decided that we were right, and now they don't have to think about it too much any more so it's less scary. NOW they've decided to latch all their fears on trans people, because if they can't keep the queers from acting like marriage is a contract between two consenting adults, they can at least make it hard to take a piss in safety.

But the thing is gay marriage ISN'T just like straight marriage, it's a thing that's not exactly the story we've all been told we have to live. It's thinking for ourselves, even for a moment, and deciding that what we want isn't dictated by centuries of expectations. It's a direct challenge to the authority of the dominant social narrative.

And if they were scared of that, just wait for what's coming down the pipe. Bisexuals screaming that not only does their sexuality exist, but that gay relationships aren't a consolation prize for the terminally gay? That someone who could pass as straight would put up with the hassle of fighting constantly for recognition as not-straight, would choose relationships that were harder just because that's what they wanted? What about all these trans people? Before they used to be punchlines and hookers, but now here they are in the news and on TV, having real jobs and acting like real humans all the while refusing to follow the script. And just wait til they catch on to the nonbinary or polyamorous folks!

How dare we exist? How dare we highlight just how nonsensical it is to think genitals have some kind of profound, mystical connection to who we are? Don't we know there are people whose entire identities are built on sloppy, unexamined foundations? Don't we know better than to shake things up? How rude of us. You could say identity itself is a crock, but that doesn't let our assailants off the hook. An identity handed to you on a silver platter is no more real than an identity you have to work for, and after all, identity plays a pretty vital psychological role.

We ourselves are no more confused than anyone else, but we're quite the source of confusion, aren't we? I think that's a good thing. People need to be confused. It forces them to think, it forces them to consider that they might be wrong, and honestly, that's the only way we learn anything. Of course, we don't exist for the purposes of straight cis people. We need to be confused as much as anyone else, as much as our enemies try to use confusion as a smear term. I've seen queer people treat other queer people like absolute garbage, and I think it's all in the name of avoiding confusion, just as much as bog-standard homophobia is, just as much as bog-standard transphobia is.

And it's easy to understand. When you have to deal with bigots' constant accusations that you're just confused, it's very tempting to say no, that you're very certain of exactly who you are, and that you haven't the slightest amount of doubt. But some of us don't have the luxury of certainty, and besides, this approach has other drawbacks. People are addicted to order, and to thinking we understand things when we really don't, and it's easy to get arrogant and dehumanize people. It's easy, but it's lazy. It's the same old shit we've all been putting up with from day one. Each and every one of us is a stick in the gears of someone else's worldview. We can't afford to fear the same thing, as a matter of common courtesy if nothing else. We've all had straight people and queer people alike tell us that we don't count one way or another, but I'm here to tell you that you do, whether or not you're certain of where you fit and who you are. To hell with their fake authority.

Looks good.

Great! I'm in the middle of some work-work right now, but I can probably churn this out in the morning.

In related news, I managed to pack up that whole table (plus some new printouts) into the two bags I was planning on carrying. They're very close to capacity, and I have at least one more flyer set to do (this one, and maybe another set of the halfpage multifolds, because they're adorable and I love them). I am super excited, it's literally been a year since I went out flyering.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

This is suuuuuper dense

[The Wizard Joseph]

Looks like a "1page book" format. That... could work mayhap.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

Looks like a "1page book" format. That... could work mayhap.

I printed them as doublesided half sheets (like "Why They Hate You"). Done with everything forever.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

Asked on one of the groups' event page for the parade whether I could hand out unrelated flyers while marching with them (because it's less fun getting removed than finishing the route).

Ehhh it's next to impossible to pass out flyers while marching. I'd say save yourself the effort. Especially since you'd only be able to reach the front spectators. If you want to wait to flyer at the end it would make more sense.

  I've handed out at least a couple hundred flyers at this thing every year I've gone. Somebody sucks at everything.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

Postgame:

Sweet mother of confusion I am sore as fuck. Wound up marching with the Pirates (although I fell behind a lot), which was good because my second bag of flyer holding failed before we got underway and they have a cart to dump things in. As part of the prep stage, I piled up all the flyers such that there were no twinsies next to each other, or even particularly close. This turned out to be really important, because I handed lots of people more than one flyer as I went.

The small multifolds were a huge success. There were a number of occasions before we got underway where someone balked at the full half sheet flyers but accepted a multifold when I said "take this, it's small." As always, "congratulations, you're a pope!" was very effective at getting people to take flyers, and the followup "and you're a pope!" to the neighbor had a high success rate.

Ran out before the last leg of the parade, I'm not sure I packed too few flyers, I may just have to be more conservative with the multiples and not pre-flyer the other groups waiting to march. I'm considering solutions to the grabbing more than one problem, potentially using latex gloves or designing some kind of separator to load flyers into as part of the prep. I also need to organize my restocking better, lost a ton of time running to catch up with the cart where my shit was. Wouldn't be an issue with a non-parade flyer run, though.

I miss doing this shit on the regular.

[The Wizard Joseph]

Glad that things went so well! I've been kicking around what to do with a portion of an unexpected windfall I've set aside for Discordia. See, turns out I had a small retirement account that I was unaware of through my former employer. I've decided to scrape off a 5%ish amount for here, the bulk will go to a representative to see about a bit of getting the scales even.

I'd like to throw some of it in your direction QG, towards the flyer projects specifically. The rest towards the site here and any possible upgrades in the future. It works out to $300 total rounded up for convenience. Not precisely sure how I'd like to split it yet or transfer/utilize the funds, but I'm quite sincere about this.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

That's super sweet and not a thing I was expecting at all. I blew through about $30 in ink on this project and maybe $5 in paper, just as an idea of how costs run for me. You know this is shit I would do with or without a budget.

[The Wizard Joseph]

I am aware. This is something I want to do and I'm doing it. I had initially thought I would reimburse you for this particular excursion, at least in the sense of resources already set for the next time, and perhaps try to leverage the remainder in some fashion like a "match" style drive on NPR. Don't really have a specific idea for that though.

I appreciate being thought sweet, and it's nice to see that my decision is agreeable.

This is not to BE sweet, however. It's a tangible token of what has been a very intense period of paradigm change for me as a person. Fuck, technically a voluntary 5% with executive discretion is a STEAL compared to some Dieties' alleged requisite percentages and allocation practices.

I already pretty well made this decision before the shit that just went down in Orlando. Now I'm just more certain that I would like to do my best to arm folks for the sort of horrifically dirty spiritual warfare that's already On us, like it or not.
I'll take it one step at a time.

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

You know? I don't think there's a specifically queer-positive Discordian tract or pamphlet.

Specifically queer or traditionally discordian no. But I think it falls under the umbrella of "are you abnormal? Then you are better than most people" and "are you different? Then you are one of the chosen" from the SubGenius pamphlets