Author Topic: Open Bar: We hacked the DNC and all we got are these lousy emails  (Read 110420 times)

The Wizard Joseph

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Re: Open Bar: We hacked the DNC and all we got are these lousy emails
« Reply #1395 on: December 15, 2016, 01:15:03 am »
HOW is the internet capable of being so boring today? I swear, I was able to find more interesting things on the internet when there was less STUFF on it.

Mandela effect. All of the cool shit got edited out of reality and replaced with the will of Greyface.

DAMMIT. I need a better reality.

SISTER YOU AIN'T EVEN KIDDING!
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
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"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

"It's not even chaos anymore. It's BANAL."
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Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: Open Bar: We hacked the DNC and all we got are these lousy emails
« Reply #1396 on: December 15, 2016, 01:58:05 am »
The weather report called for snow. I walked out of my sub-basement office and climbed the stairs into the midafternoon daylight, blinking owlishly behind my glasses like a stereotype of a subterranean lab-dwelling scientist. No snow yet. I proceeded to my favorite food cart, hoping for a lunch of spicy Ahi poke salad. As I approached, I could see that there was no line, which I knew could not be a good sign. I drew near enough to read the small handwritten sign in the window: "Closed due to weather". Disappointed, cold, and hungry, I looked up into the pale gray clouds, prepared to tell them off in unambiguous language. Just as the first few flakes patted softly down onto my cheeks and melted, I heard a sweet singing in the near distance.

Hi, hi we're your weather girls
Ah-huh
And have we got news for you
You better listen


I listened. Perhaps they would tell me of another purveyor of raw fish dishes in the near vicinity.

Get ready, all you lonely girls
And leave those umbrellas at home
Alright


Yes, I could dig it. No need for umbrellas when what's falling isn't wet, right? But this wasn't helping me fill my rumbling belly.

Humidity is rising (uh rising), barometer's getting low (oh low, girl)
According to all sources (what sources now), the street's the place to go (we better hurry up)
'Cause tonight for the first time (first time)


This gave me pause. I had checked the humidity in all of our snake chambers, and as is typical for weather below freezing, it had fallen, not risen. Cold tends to be dry. Still, it was pleasant enough, and I started walking toward it just as the flakes started falling soft and thick. I opened my mouth and let one melt on my tongue.

Just about half-past ten (half past ten)
For the first time in history
It's gonna start raining Cram (start raining Cram)


Wait, what? WHAT? I stopped, with a chill of dread rising from my stomach to match the chill without. Was I... was this...

It's raining Cram, hallelujah, it's raining Cram, amen
I'm gonna go out to run and let myself get
Absolutely soaking wet
It's raining Cram, hallelujah


Oh dear sweet motherfucking baby pterodactyls in heaven...

It's raining Cram, every specimen
Tall, blonde, dark and lean
Rough and tough and strong and mean
God bless mother nature, she's a single woman too
She took off to heaven and she did what she had to do
She taught every angel she rearranged the sky
So that each and every woman could find her perfect guy


NO. NONONONONONO. Spitting and gagging, I turned to run, to flee back to the safety of my laboratory, the safety of the sub basement. I didn't need lunch. I didn't need anything but to get out of this... this icy cocktail of unsavory composition, this Cramulent precipitation. As I fled I could still hear their merry singing voices behind me, singing praises to their Messiah.

Oh, it's raining Cram, yeah
Humanity's rising (humanity's rising)
Barometer's getting low (it's getting low, low, low, low)
According to all sources (according to all sources)
The street's the place to go
'Cause tonight for the first time
Just about half past ten
For the first time in history
It's gonna start raining man (start raining Cram)
It's raining Cram, hallelujah
It's raining Cram, amen
It's raining Cram, hallelujah
It's raining Cram, amen
It's raining Cram, hallelujah
It's raining Cram, amen
It's raining Cram, hallelujah
Oh oh oh oh
It's raining Cram
Tall, blonde, dark and lean
Rough and tough and strong and mean
Hallelujah it's raining Cram


I don't know if there is anyone else alive in this building. It has been three days and most of the others trickled out to see what was happening, and never returned. I can only assume the worst. I have maybe two more days of frozen entrees in the freezer, and then I suppose it will be time to figure out how to prepare garter snake stew with only a microwave oven and cans of V8. I can't leave. I don't know if I'll ever be able to leave, now that it's raining Cram.
« Last Edit: December 15, 2016, 03:30:06 pm by Mesozoic Mister Nigel »
Im guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk, Charles Wick said. It was very complicated.


The Wizard Joseph

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Re: Open Bar: We hacked the DNC and all we got are these lousy emails
« Reply #1397 on: December 15, 2016, 02:30:16 am »
Little known fact about Lincoln's  :fnord: assassination:

John Wilkes Booth actually said, "Sic semper Cramulus" not knowing how to pronounce it properly and having a pretty bad headcold at the time.

This happened in the 4th-7th iterations of the timeline, just as the fraying started to get, like, really bad.
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

"It's not even chaos anymore. It's BANAL."
- Doktor Hamish Howl

Cainad (dec.)

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Re: Open Bar: We hacked the DNC and all we got are these lousy emails
« Reply #1398 on: December 15, 2016, 04:07:43 am »
s eismic.array 7#:

cR22.7289.2e88
1no171.4a
stopMul.000271us

C       |         R         |           A            |          M
Control Factor s _-_-_-
                       defined 1.2.3
                       START

steps 12 through 18 must ONLY be completed in the event that the retaining bolts are evenly

9   9  99  9              9 mode null

                cra
the fractures can be folded back into the primary causal matrix,
                              mu
inadequate fluids for the experiment
lus


The Wizard Joseph

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Re: Open Bar: We hacked the DNC and all we got are these lousy emails
« Reply #1399 on: December 15, 2016, 05:56:16 am »
s eismic.array 7#:

cR22.7289.2e88
1no171.4a
stopMul.000271us

C       |         R         |           A            |          M
Control Factor s _-_-_-
                       defined 1.2.3
                       START

steps 12 through 18 must ONLY be completed in the event that the retaining bolts are evenly

9   9  99  9              9 mode null

                cra
the fractures can be folded back into the primary causal matrix,
                              mu
inadequate fluids for the experiment
lus

He's been at it a while now. These all never happened, not in THIS reality anyway.
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

"It's not even chaos anymore. It's BANAL."
- Doktor Hamish Howl

The Wizard Joseph

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Re: Open Bar: We hacked the DNC and all we got are these lousy emails
« Reply #1400 on: December 15, 2016, 05:41:26 pm »
Many Bothans died to retrieve this information. Cramumus' mistake was in making the Bothans real in the first place as "Kind of a workload assessment test" during Timeline 323.

Shown: Cramulus and The 'Stache before the Timeline1 divergence.

This photo was used as a temporal "homing image" until the first "rain of Cramului" incident in Timeline 69 and all subsequent Timelines.
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

"It's not even chaos anymore. It's BANAL."
- Doktor Hamish Howl

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: Open Bar: We hacked the DNC and all we got are these lousy emails
« Reply #1401 on: December 15, 2016, 05:57:48 pm »
Fucking hell. My application for medical coverage for me and the girls has been denied because I didn't get my tax return done in time.

So I have to start over, which means I have to pay the $900 for University coverage this term, and my kids won't be covered for at least four more months.
Im guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk, Charles Wick said. It was very complicated.


The Wizard Joseph

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Re: Open Bar: We hacked the DNC and all we got are these lousy emails
« Reply #1402 on: December 15, 2016, 06:45:24 pm »
Fucking hell. My application for medical coverage for me and the girls has been denied because I didn't get my tax return done in time.

So I have to start over, which means I have to pay the $900 for University coverage this term, and my kids won't be covered for at least four more months.

You mean like last year's taxes?

Sorry to hear.  :|
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

"It's not even chaos anymore. It's BANAL."
- Doktor Hamish Howl

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: Open Bar: We hacked the DNC and all we got are these lousy emails
« Reply #1403 on: December 15, 2016, 07:57:01 pm »
Fucking hell. My application for medical coverage for me and the girls has been denied because I didn't get my tax return done in time.

So I have to start over, which means I have to pay the $900 for University coverage this term, and my kids won't be covered for at least four more months.

You mean like last year's taxes?

Sorry to hear.  :|

Yep.

My old accountant got a full-time job at Johns Hopkins and then... well, it's been a very bad year. On top of all the other mayhem a friend offered to do my taxes, but then backed out when she found out how complicated they are (this is why I hire an accountant).   I have an accountant working on them now, but it didn't get done on time so I have to re-apply for OHP, which will take a minimum of four months and in the interim I will be required to pay for University healthcare. Meanwhile my kid doesn't have any coverage. The youngest does but not Jules.
Im guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk, Charles Wick said. It was very complicated.


Freeky

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Re: Open Bar: We hacked the DNC and all we got are these lousy emails
« Reply #1404 on: December 15, 2016, 07:59:11 pm »
That's shitty,
Nigel. :(

The Wizard Joseph

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Re: Open Bar: We hacked the DNC and all we got are these lousy emails
« Reply #1405 on: December 15, 2016, 08:02:15 pm »
Yalls have fun with the Discordia. I'm out. Lessons learned. Greyface wins. Good luck and good night.
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

"You program the controller to do the thing, only it doesn't do the thing.  It does something else entirely, or nothing at all.  It's like voting."
- Billy, Aug 21st, 2019

"It's not even chaos anymore. It's BANAL."
- Doktor Hamish Howl

The Good Reverend Roger

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Re: Open Bar: We hacked the DNC and all we got are these lousy emails
« Reply #1406 on: December 15, 2016, 08:02:54 pm »
Yalls have fun with the Discordia. I'm out. Lessons learned. Greyface wins. Good luck and good night.

Eat a bag of dicks.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
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 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

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Re: Open Bar: We hacked the DNC and all we got are these lousy emails
« Reply #1407 on: December 15, 2016, 08:04:14 pm »
Shitbag fucks up my feed with a million Goddamn Pepe memes and suddenly it's "Greyface's" fault.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

 "Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: Open Bar: We hacked the DNC and all we got are these lousy emails
« Reply #1408 on: December 15, 2016, 08:30:19 pm »
Yalls have fun with the Discordia. I'm out. Lessons learned. Greyface wins. Good luck and good night.

Does this have anything to do with anything?  :?
Im guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk, Charles Wick said. It was very complicated.


Cainad (dec.)

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Re: Open Bar: We hacked the DNC and all we got are these lousy emails
« Reply #1409 on: December 15, 2016, 08:55:24 pm »
Yalls have fun with the Discordia. I'm out. Lessons learned. Greyface wins. Good luck and good night.

Does this have anything to do with anything?  :?

Apparently Facebook has bled over into PeeDee flouncing.