General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread

[The Wizard Joseph]

Oh the fences he'll mend, oh the Medicare he'll spend,
will President Trump, our loyal, loyal friend.

Oh the tweets he will trend, oh such laws to be penned,
by President Trump, our loyal, loyal friend

Oh the supreme court to bend with consequence unintend, will be placed in the hands of ill portend,
By president trump, our loyal,loyal friend.

So many celebrities to berate, and greed you cannot shake, with such cronyism! So great!
From our loyal, loyal mate.

Oh what yuge business he'll perfectly do
What simple minds do his small words screw
This brassy, unclassy Trump, our loyal, loyal friend

What vile profits will he bloody raise
Will he sell us all out just for empty praise
That hollow, wallowing Trump, our loyal, loyal friend

I am also unreasonably happy with this. Has the makings of a good kids book. Note to self, get in references to tango, satsumas, sunbeds and lard.

Noted

[Junkenstein]

After minutes of strenuous thought, trump has appeared to realize that draining swamps it damaging to the ecosystem. New plan seems to be make the swamp great again by adding toxic shit.

This is how you fix America folks, repaying one dodgy favour at a time.

[The Wizard Joseph]

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satsuma

What did you mean by satsumas exactly Junkie? I could work in the fruit, but a slimy snail one ain't out of the question.

[Junkenstein]

Why not both? If the shoe fits and all that...

[The Wizard Joseph]

Why not both? If the shoe fits and all that...

Actually the fruit fits particularly well as a symbol. Its a Japanese breed of Mandarin orange that is noted for having very loose, easy to break and peel skin.

Hmmm...

[The Wizard Joseph]

Oh the fences he'll mend, oh the Medicare he'll spend,
will President Trump, our loyal, loyal friend.

Oh the tweets he will trend, oh such laws to be penned,
by President Trump, our loyal, loyal friend

Oh the supreme court to bend with consequence unintend, will be placed in the hands of ill portend,
By president trump, our loyal,loyal friend.

So many celebrities to berate, and greed you cannot shake, with such cronyism! So great!
From our loyal, loyal mate.

Oh what yuge business he'll perfectly do
What simple minds do his small words screw
This brassy, unclassy Trump, our loyal, loyal friend

What vile profits will he bloody raise
Will he sell us all out just for empty praise
That hollow, wallowing Trump, our loyal, loyal friend

I am also unreasonably happy with this. Has the makings of a good kids book. Note to self, get in references to tango, satsumas, sunbeds and lard.

Oh what snail-slime skin is on this dude
Like a satuna, but not fit even as French food
This orange saggy, baggy Trump our loyal, loyal friend

Dipped in lard and left in a sunbed
Is the look of the face on that fat head
It only takes one to tango for this Trump our loyal, loyal friend.

[Junkenstein]

Oh, shit. That was not the tango I meant. Will dig up relevant links but I was thinking of the luminous orange soft drink with the as campaign that involved people being slapped in the face.

It's a subtle but important difference.

[The Wizard Joseph]

Oh, shit. That was not the tango I meant. Will dig up relevant links but I was thinking of the luminous orange soft drink with the as campaign that involved people being slapped in the face.

It's a subtle but important difference.

Uh... you're going to have to eat it on re-engineering costs friend. I demand pentuple my initial costs and an extra fee amounting to 5.23% of the bill IN ADDITION for research into this other tango, given that I must judge a beverage by flavor to properly art with it as words.

A pleasure doing business with you sir! 

[Emo Howard]

Guess who trump has picked for Energy Secretary. It's.... uh... oh, what's his name? I forget.

Oops.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Guess who trump has picked for Energy Secretary. It's.... uh... oh, what's his name? I forget.

Oops.

Yeah, there's no way THAT isn't going to be a shitshow. 

[Emo Howard]

Guess who trump has picked for Energy Secretary. It's.... uh... oh, what's his name? I forget.

Oops.

Yeah, there's no way THAT isn't going to be a shitshow. 

And it's just a small part of what's sure to be The Greatest Shitshow on Earth.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Guess who trump has picked for Energy Secretary. It's.... uh... oh, what's his name? I forget.

Oops.

So much for "eco-fascism".   

[Junkenstein]

See 46. Dodgy favours require dodgy paybacks. Will be fun to see if the senate confirms the entire shitshow.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-38336272

The White House has suggested Russian President Vladimir Putin was directly involved in a hacking operation aimed at interfering with the US election.
Ben Rhodes, adviser to President Barack Obama, said that Mr Putin maintains tight control on government operations, which suggests that he was aware.
White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest added that it was "pretty obvious" that Mr Putin was involved.

"Everything we know about how Russia operates and how Putin controls that government would suggest that, again, when you're talking about a significant cyber intrusion like this, we're talking about the highest levels of government," Mr Rhodes said.
"And ultimately, Vladimir Putin is the official responsible for the actions of the Russian government."

The NBC report, which cited two unnamed senior officials, said the hacking campaign began as a "vendetta" against Mrs Clinton before becoming "an effort to show corruption in American politics and split off key American allies".

Those crazy democrats.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-38325364

enior US Republican senator Lindsey Graham has said his campaign email account was hacked by Russians.
Sen Graham also told CNN that he believed "the Russians" hacked into the Democratic National Committee, and accused them of trying to "destabilise democracy all over the world".

Sen Graham, a member of the powerful Senate Armed Services Committee, said on CNN that "we were told by the FBI in August that we were hacked in June".
"I do believe the Russians hacked into the [DNC]. I do believe they hacked into [John] Podesta's email account. They hacked into my campaign account," he said.
He also said that he believed that "all the information released publicly hurt Clinton and didn't hurt Trump."

It seems reasonable to assume that who-ever did this also has access to any/all trump accounts. He just doesn't strike you as the kind of guy with secure passwords, does he? So the question for me is what's kicking around in there? Surely more than enough to keep him compliant if he isn't on friendly terms with Russia. The other interesting question is what docs do US intel agencies hold on trump? Again, I'm betting more than enough to keep him compliant. That, or we'll see some hilarious leaks.


On a lighter note, here's the simplified version of future foreign and domestic policy, trump appears around the ten second mark in case you miss him.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YV8zGNe7Ebg

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Turns out most of the faithless electors are ones who were supposed to vote for Clinton, and are instead casting their votes for Colin Powell, et al.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2016/12/22/506629695/trump-team-asks-state-dept-to-name-those-working-on-gender-equality?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=npr&utm_term=nprnews&utm_content=2050