General Trump hilarity free-for-all thread

[Cain]

I see the President was having a Very Normal One last night, threatening to commit war crimes in attacking Iran (cultural and civilian targets were both mentioned).

Meanwhile, Iraq today is having a vote on removing the American military presence from the country. In addition to the Shi'a parties there is a powerful Kurdish block of parties whom have cordial relations with Iran, so this could very possibly end up passing. Anything that happens today will only be a draft law, subject to revision, but it may be a sign of things to come.

[Cain]

Bill passed, btw.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

No surprises there.

Oh, fuck. https://www.cnn.com/2020/01/04/middleeast/iran-soleimani-nuclear-deal-intl/index.html

Daily Fail. Real or no? I'm looking for a silver lining...https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7853703/Iran-threatens-attack-White-House-crushing-powerful-retaliation.html

[Cain]

There's reports that Suleimani was in Iraq at the invitation of the PM, to discuss deescalation between Iran and Saudi Arabia.

[Faust]

Trump reaffirming or making true every stereotype the middle east has thrown at the U.S
This is so fucking grim, especially because it all feels like pantomime to distract from his other shortcomings

[Cain]

So either the Saudis set him up for assassination, or the US killed someone who was potentially defusing one of the most dangerously fraught relationships in the region.

Neither looks good.

[Juana]

Nope, but either way is deeply American, no?


I'm kind of wondering if our allies will play ball. He's certainly alienated the fuck out of pretty much everybody. I'm hoping not bc I'd think we'd be less likely to actually go to war if no one else will be on our team. This is entirely speculation but while we like the image of being the Lone Ranger, idk if the Pentagon will be willing to do this if we're really on our own. I dunno if they wanna do this anyway. The resignations suggest that's the case.

[Doktor Howl]

Wow. 

https://www.cnbc.com/2020/01/06/trump-threatens-to-slap-sanctions-on-iraq-like-theyve-never-seen-before.html

[Cain]

Hah, suck it Iraqis! You're going to have to buy all your American oil at double the price now!

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

https://www.cnbc.com/2020/01/05/trump-says-twitter-posts-notify-congress-he-will-strike-back-against-iran.html?__twitter_impression=true

 

[Bruno]

https://www.cnbc.com/2020/01/05/trump-says-twitter-posts-notify-congress-he-will-strike-back-against-iran.html?__twitter_impression=true

 

https://www.cnn.com/2020/01/05/politics/trump-war-tweet-iran/index.html

[Bruno]

Check out this new email Donnie just sent out:

ANOTHER dead terrorist He died like a coward.

Recently, a team of U.S. Special Forces soldiers killed top Iranian terrorist leader Qasem Soleimani.

Soleimani was a monster responsible for THOUSANDS of American deaths, and the world is a better place without him in it.

This served as a reminder of two important things.
America has the greatest military on Earth
Terrorists have NO place in our world
While radical Democrats like Elizabeth Warren, Ilhan Omar, and Bernie Sanders are busy criticizing me for eliminating a deadly terrorist, my administration is busy keeping our promise to support our military and put America FIRST.

We know that Democrats and the FAKE NEWS will never give us credit for all we've done to combat terrorism, but I'm more interested in what REAL Americans like you think.

Take the Official Trump Military Survey TODAY to let me know what you think of my leadership as Commander-in-Chief. >>

Do you believe America has the greatest military in the world?

        YES       

        NO       

Being Commander in Chief is the highest calling of any American President, and I take that duty very seriously.

That is why I will ALWAYS put AMERICA FIRST and stand firmly behind the courageous men and women who risk their lives to defend our freedom.

My team is sending me the responses first thing tomorrow morning, so be sure to respond NOW.

Please take the Official Trump Military Survey before 11:59 PM TONIGHT to make sure I see your response.

Thank you,

[President Trump Signature Headshot]
Donald J. Trump
President of the United States


TAKE THE SURVEY NOW

[Faust]

Signed,

Terrorist in Chief,
DJT

[Cain]

I'm glad to see The Donald has embraced the idea that legitimate and authorised state actors can also be terrorists.

[Faust]

Unfortunately hypocrisy is also one of their core tenants, which they learned from their orange hive mother.