Author Topic: Unlimited Brazilian Hilarity Thread  (Read 2204 times)

Sano

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Unlimited Brazilian Hilarity Thread
« on: November 26, 2016, 04:55:10 pm »
Now, I'm not saying that I've been my following my country's political situation intensely, but even with the little I know it's a complete mess. So I thought to share stuff I see to at least try to make sense of all this (feel free to ask questions btw). Also, there will be lots of memes, as making them is practically Our Way(tm) to deal with news nowadays.

First of all, for the last eight months or so an investigative team has been negotiating with one of the biggest brazilian companies (Odebrecht) for information on bribes and kickbacks in exchange for lower sentences on their CEOs. Rumor has it that around 200 politicians are implicated. This is the backdrop against which panic (and hilarity) is ensuing.

The latest news is so convoluted I'm kinda failing to make sense of it all. Apparently the (as of yesterday ex-)Minister of the Secretary of Government (basically in charge of negotiating with congress) Geddel Vieira Lima tried to pressure ex-Minister of Culture Marcelo Calero (in portuguese) over the approval for construction of a luxury building on Salvador (why would the Minister of Culture have something to do with that? it's because it has been blocked for disturbing the city's historical center (it was founded on 1549)). The federal agency had blocked the construction when Salvador's Mayor Antônio Carlos Magalhães Neto (in portuguese) had already authorized it (fun fact: ACM Neto, as the name implies, is the grandson of the notorious dictatorship politician Antônio Carlos Magalhães, which used to say he won elections with "a bag of money in one hand and a whip on the other").

Also, Caleiro has said that he recorded President Temer himself pressuring him on the same subject. And of course, Supreme Court Justice Gilmar Mendes and 2014 presidential candidate (who almost won) Aécio Neves are now bashing Caleiro himself and deflecting blame from the president. :lulz: Neves went so far as to say Caleiro should be investigated (fun fact: Neves is the grandson of Tancredo Neves, considered instrumental in ending Brazil's dictatorship).

This all started happening in the 19th (of this month, yes). Yesterday Geddel resigned. Things are happening so fast I almost missed this whole story. In fact people are mobilizing for Temer to be impeached over this (yes, another impeachment).

In more local news, the same overarching investigation arrested two ex-Rio de Janeiro (the state, not the city) Governors: Sérgio Cabral (accused of accepting bribes) and Anthony Garotinho (accused of buying votes) in less than one week from each other. Garotinho had some blood pressure problem soon after being arrested and was sent to a hospital, after he recovered a little he was sent to jail. A video of him suddenly getting angry and trying to punch someone while still in a stretcher being carried to the ambulance that would send him to jail has inspired lots of memes.

Also, recently elected Rio de Janeiro (the city, not the state) Mayor Crivela has visited Israel and when he came back said that Rio should "be walled just like Jerusalem" (which is causing outrage for obvious reasons).

This is all I can think of now, but no doubt there's plenty more, and every day it seems something or other pops up these days.
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Re: Unlimited Brazilian Hilarity Thread
« Reply #1 on: November 26, 2016, 05:05:29 pm »
Whoa. Wat the fuck is HAPPENING down there? I'm glad you're posting this here, because I have seen nothing at all in the media about it.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


Sano

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Re: Unlimited Brazilian Hilarity Thread
« Reply #2 on: November 26, 2016, 05:12:34 pm »
Whoa. Wat the fuck is HAPPENING down there? I'm glad you're posting this here, because I have seen nothing at all in the media about it.

Yeah. It's utter chaos. Also IIRC Geddel is the fourth Minister to resign in the less than three months of the Temer presidency due to corruption alegations.

Oh, something I had forgotten: completely true to his reputation of being the most "neither here nor there" person in the world, Temer has put a note about Fidel Castro's death that said Castro was "a leader with convictions". No shit, Sherlock :lulz: But then again this might be something notable for someone as convictionless as Temer, I dunno.
Everything comes to an end, reader. It is an old truism to which may be added that not everything that lasts, lasts for long. This latter part is not readily admitted; on the contrary the idea that an air castle lasts longer than the very air of which it is made is hard to get out of a person's head, and this is fortunate, otherwise the custom of making those almost eternal constructions might be lost.

Sano

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Re: Unlimited Brazilian Hilarity Thread
« Reply #3 on: November 26, 2016, 05:39:14 pm »
I also forgot about the police helicopter who fell down near the famous Cidade de Deus favela (yeah, the same favela of the movie "City of God"). 4 police officers were dead, and most thought that it has been shot down by drug dealers; the police of course invaded the favelas (not just the one, but many others) as payback, as it usually does. All accounts say it was a massacre, some say 80 dead, but only 7 dead have been reported yet that I know of. And now forensics said it was not shot down, meaning it was probably a mechanical malfunction. Great.

It's odd I forgot about this one since it was the one that affected me most directly (I live near one of the big favelas and things were a bit dangerous here for some days, but it seems to have been calmed down now).
Everything comes to an end, reader. It is an old truism to which may be added that not everything that lasts, lasts for long. This latter part is not readily admitted; on the contrary the idea that an air castle lasts longer than the very air of which it is made is hard to get out of a person's head, and this is fortunate, otherwise the custom of making those almost eternal constructions might be lost.

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Re: Unlimited Brazilian Hilarity Thread
« Reply #4 on: November 26, 2016, 06:28:32 pm »
Jesus fuck, that's awful.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


Junkenstein

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Re: Unlimited Brazilian Hilarity Thread
« Reply #5 on: November 26, 2016, 07:23:05 pm »
I also forgot about the police helicopter who fell down near the famous Cidade de Deus favela (yeah, the same favela of the movie "City of God"). 4 police officers were dead, and most thought that it has been shot down by drug dealers; the police of course invaded the favelas (not just the one, but many others) as payback, as it usually does. All accounts say it was a massacre, some say 80 dead, but only 7 dead have been reported yet that I know of. And now forensics said it was not shot down, meaning it was probably a mechanical malfunction. Great.

It's odd I forgot about this one since it was the one that affected me most directly (I live near one of the big favelas and things were a bit dangerous here for some days, but it seems to have been calmed down now).

You know you're in interesting times when this barely makes the cut.

How do you think things will go over the next few months? I thought the US/UK was bad for corruption, turns out we're just bad at it and not willing to properly commit to it.

You mentioned around 200 mps implicated, is this a conservative guess? It sounds more like a serious systemic problem that is going to be a bastardy to fix.
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Sano

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Re: Unlimited Brazilian Hilarity Thread
« Reply #6 on: November 27, 2016, 12:12:41 am »
I also forgot about the police helicopter who fell down near the famous Cidade de Deus favela (yeah, the same favela of the movie "City of God"). 4 police officers were dead, and most thought that it has been shot down by drug dealers; the police of course invaded the favelas (not just the one, but many others) as payback, as it usually does. All accounts say it was a massacre, some say 80 dead, but only 7 dead have been reported yet that I know of. And now forensics said it was not shot down, meaning it was probably a mechanical malfunction. Great.

It's odd I forgot about this one since it was the one that affected me most directly (I live near one of the big favelas and things were a bit dangerous here for some days, but it seems to have been calmed down now).

You know you're in interesting times when this barely makes the cut.

How do you think things will go over the next few months? I thought the US/UK was bad for corruption, turns out we're just bad at it and not willing to properly commit to it.

You mentioned around 200 mps implicated, is this a conservative guess? It sounds more like a serious systemic problem that is going to be a bastardy to fix.

How things will go? I've no idea, the situation changes every day. But I do think that 200 is the upper limit; not because other politicians are innocent, but because that's probably just the "big fish", so to speak.

Very few news today as people are mostly talking about Castro. If Russia has been the traditional "red enemy" of the USA, Cuba has occupied a similar role on the minds of some brazilians. "Move to Cuba" has been a traditional saying for right-wing brazilians when confronted with leftists for decades.

EDIT: Also Garotinho was released today for some reason.
« Last Edit: November 27, 2016, 12:18:53 am by Sano »
Everything comes to an end, reader. It is an old truism to which may be added that not everything that lasts, lasts for long. This latter part is not readily admitted; on the contrary the idea that an air castle lasts longer than the very air of which it is made is hard to get out of a person's head, and this is fortunate, otherwise the custom of making those almost eternal constructions might be lost.

Junkenstein

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Re: Unlimited Brazilian Hilarity Thread
« Reply #7 on: November 27, 2016, 12:22:56 am »
Our government has promised. Statement on Castro by March.

I have to ask, how much are you laughing at the US right now? A lot?
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Sano

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Re: Unlimited Brazilian Hilarity Thread
« Reply #8 on: November 27, 2016, 02:29:10 pm »
Our government has promised. Statement on Castro by March.

I have to ask, how much are you laughing at the US right now? A lot?

I'd be laughing more if we didn't have Bolsonaro. People are already comparing him to Trump (but everyone agrees he is worse). He will run for president in 2018.

https://theintercept.com/2014/12/11/misogynistic-hateful-elected-official-democacratic-world-brazils-jair-bolsonaro/

Quote
In the lower house of Brazil’s federal Congress on Tuesday, Maria do Rosário – a Congresswoman since 2003 from former President Lula da Silva’s Workers Party (PT) who is also the country’s former Minister of Human Rights under President Dilma Rousseff – stood to praise the National Truth Commission. That Commission was preparing to release a comprehensive report on the systematic human rights abuses perpetrated by the U.S.-supported military dictatorship that ruled the country for two decades until 1985. Congresswoman do Rosário described the military dictatorship as a source of “absolute shame” and condemned it for using murder, torture, sexual abuse, and other violence against dissidents. The Commission’s report was released yesterday in the presence of Rousseff, who was herself imprisoned and tortured by the military regime.

After do Rosário left the podium, Jair Bolsonaro – a right-wing Congressman since 1990 who served in the military during the dictatorship and is still an ardent defender of it –  stood to speak. He began by immediately demanding that do Rosário, who was preparing to leave the chamber, remain to hear him, yelling: “No, Maria do Rosário, don’t leave! Stay here, Maria do Rosário. Stay!” Referencing her statements about the well-documented use of rape by the military dictatorship against female opponents, he bellowed: “I would not rape you. You don’t merit that.” The meaning was clear, particularly in the original Portuguese: while some women are good enough to be so blessed, do Rosário wasn’t even good enough to deserve his rape.

http://americasquarterly.org/content/jair-bolsonaro-pro-torture-anti-gay-and-brazils-future-president

Quote
When Brazilian Congressman Jair Bolsonaro on Sunday dedicated his pro-impeachment vote to the military colonel who allegedly oversaw the torture of President Dilma Rousseff, and then reportedly hurled a string of anti-gay slurs at another politician, it was hardly the most shocking episode of his political career.

Over the years, Bolsonaro has said he would prefer his son die than come out as gay, compared same-sex marriage to pedophilia, attributed homosexuality to drug use, and encouraged the physical abuse of children thought to be gay. By comparison, when he appeared last month in the Viceland documentary series “Gaycation,” he acted relatively kind in telling gay Hollywood actor Ellen Page that she was “very pretty” in response to her asking, “Do you think I should have been beaten as a child, to not be gay now?”

http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/real-life/wtf/is-this-the-worlds-most-repulsive-politician/news-story/926a4a59cf6132f770dfdbd46f610e97

Quote
LADIES and gentlemen, meet the Donald Trump of Brazil.

On second thought, that’s not really fair to Mr Trump. Next to Brazilian congressman Jair Bolsonaro’s comments, Donald Trump’s infamous “build a wall to keep Mexicans out” remark may as well have been trilled by the Von Trapp children over a merry string quartet.

There is a lengthy list of public remarks and cringe-worthy interviews to explain Bolsonaro’s notoriety.

The ultraconservative politician openly supports torture. He also takes a positive view on the brutal military dictatorship that ruled Brazil for more than two decades.

He has frequently made global headlines over disparaging remarks about black people, gay people and women.

Like Trump, Bolsonaro is often criticised by the left-wing media, and like Trump, he takes this criticism with pride.

“This idea of oh poor little black person, oh poor little poor person, oh poor little woman, oh poor little indigenous person, everybody’s a poor little something!” he told Vice News. “I don’t try and please everybody.”

Also – like Trump – there’s a chance he could very well become the president of his country.

[...]

More recently, American actress Ellen Page interviewed Bolsonaro for her VICELAND documentary series Gaycation.

When Page – who happens to be gay – asked him whether he thought she should have been beaten as a child for her sexual orientation, he responded: “You’re very nice. If I were a cadet in the military academy and saw you on the street, I would whistle at you. All right? You’re very pretty.”

She stared at him blankly in response, and he gave no indication he believed he’d said anything wrong.

[...]

In 2011, Afro-Brazilian singer and actress Preta Gil asked him what he would do if his child fell in love with a black person.

He said he would “never allow this kind of promiscuity”, but added that his “children were very well-educated”, as if to suggest it would therefore not be an issue.

Gil threatened to sue him after the show. “I am a strong black woman,” she said. “I will take it to the end against this racist, homophobic, disgusting deputy.”

A legal investigation was launched, in which Bolsonaro claimed he didn’t understand the question. But things only got worse from there - he said his blunt answer was because he thought she was referring to gay people, not black people.

“If I were racist, I wouldn’t be so crazy as to declare it on television.”

[...]

Bolsonaro is publicly homophobic, and unapologetic for his views. In 2013, the government sought to pass a bill to outlaw homophobia and educate Brazilian youth on the damage it causes. Bolsonaro was determined to block the law, publicly campaigning against it.

In 2011, he said he would rather his son die in a car accident than be gay. He also said the presence of a gay couple at his house would cause the value of his house to depreciate.

There are even reports he has compared same-sex marriage to paedophilia, and encouraged the physical abuse of children believed to be gay.

In a 2013 interview with Stephen Fry for the BBC program Out There, Bolsonaro explained his beliefs, and addressed the suggestion his comments could be fuelling anti-gay violence across the country.

“There are groups that want to use (gay hate crimes) as an example. It might not even have anything to do with homosexuality,” he said.

“It is labelled as such by gay groups who want to make use of the incident, and create a public sob story.”

[...]

SO, COULD THIS MAN BE PRESIDENT?

Bolsonaro’s popularity is no doubt on the rise.

His Facebook page has just under three million Likes – about 700 thousand more than former President Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva.

Crowds flock to him to take selfies when he makes public appearances, and according to a Datafolha survey conducted earlier this month, his base of supporters has doubled since December.

Considering that in 2012, 77 per cent of the population supported the explicit criminalisation of homophobia, perhaps these results are not terribly surprising.

The greatest irony of all? Bolsonaro’s political group is called the ‘Progressive Party’.
Everything comes to an end, reader. It is an old truism to which may be added that not everything that lasts, lasts for long. This latter part is not readily admitted; on the contrary the idea that an air castle lasts longer than the very air of which it is made is hard to get out of a person's head, and this is fortunate, otherwise the custom of making those almost eternal constructions might be lost.

Junkenstein

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Re: Unlimited Brazilian Hilarity Thread
« Reply #9 on: November 27, 2016, 05:26:40 pm »
That's more ha ha than I was looking for.

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Re: Unlimited Brazilian Hilarity Thread
« Reply #10 on: November 27, 2016, 06:29:07 pm »
Something has gone bery very wrong with the world
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Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: Unlimited Brazilian Hilarity Thread
« Reply #11 on: November 27, 2016, 07:26:05 pm »
 A TRUMP FOR YOU, AND FOR YOU, AND FOR YOU! A TRUMP FOR EVERYONE!

              :horrormirth:
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


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Re: Unlimited Brazilian Hilarity Thread
« Reply #12 on: November 27, 2016, 07:48:37 pm »
Only the christard monkeys support bolsomeme, Brazil will probably turn into another Venezuela, all that was worth because now the poor can fly on planes.

Sano

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Re: Unlimited Brazilian Hilarity Thread
« Reply #13 on: November 27, 2016, 10:00:04 pm »
Only the christard monkeys support bolsomeme,

The same was once true of Trump.

Brazil will probably turn into another Venezuela, all that was worth because now the poor can fly on planes.

Oh my god come on. If you really think Lula/Dilma are in any way comparable to Chavez I have nothing to say to you, except that I had hoped I wouldn't find this here.
Everything comes to an end, reader. It is an old truism to which may be added that not everything that lasts, lasts for long. This latter part is not readily admitted; on the contrary the idea that an air castle lasts longer than the very air of which it is made is hard to get out of a person's head, and this is fortunate, otherwise the custom of making those almost eternal constructions might be lost.

Sano

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Re: Unlimited Brazilian Hilarity Thread
« Reply #14 on: November 27, 2016, 10:04:23 pm »
Something has gone bery very wrong with the world

We actually saw it coming before most people. Bolsonaro is in Congress since 1990. And it is MY STATE that always elects him.

I have the uneasy feeling that things are only starting to get worse.
Everything comes to an end, reader. It is an old truism to which may be added that not everything that lasts, lasts for long. This latter part is not readily admitted; on the contrary the idea that an air castle lasts longer than the very air of which it is made is hard to get out of a person's head, and this is fortunate, otherwise the custom of making those almost eternal constructions might be lost.