Author Topic: Do you guys want the simplest, best thing?  (Read 555 times)

East Coast Hustle

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Do you guys want the simplest, best thing?
« on: January 04, 2017, 07:56:16 am »
So I don't usually post in this subforum, because it usually feels like a bit of a violation of the spirit of the thing. But this is too good not to share. This is the best thing.

You'll need one of these:



You'll need some good soy sauce. This is important - Kikkoman is the absolute WORST soy sauce you should ever use, and it's the only soy sauce in the basic supermarket that's even that good. So use Kikkoman if you have to, but don't you dare use some bullshit-ass LaChoy or Yamasa or some shit like that.

You'll need some green onions, sliced very thin on a hard bias.

You'll need some butter (sunflower or canola oil work fine if you're dairy-free but don't use olive oil for this one)

You're gonna need some quail eggs. And since there's a pretty good chance that your best bet to find them in a retail setting is at the Asian supermarket you might as well pick up some good soy sauce while you're here. Tobiko is an optional garnish for this dish if, like me, you have an unhealthy obsession with adding fish eggs to bird eggs. If you're feeling that, pick up the smallest amount of tobiko you can get. And none of the weird colored shit, just regular old tobiko. If you're not already familiar with cooking quail eggs in your cast iron egg pan (and why wouldn't you be?) you might want to pick up an extra package so you've got some test eggs to dial in your optimal heat setting.

Get the pan hot on the stove, somewhere around medium heat but let it sit on there for a bit to really make sure the entire pan is heated through. You don't want the eggs to stick so even if your pan is perfectly seasoned you should hit it with a little blast of pan spray (or soak a bit of crumpled paper towel in oil and rub lightly on the egg indents, if you don't have any pan spray). Have the eggs ready to go right next to you and the pan. Put some butter or oil in the center egg well, enough to fill it most of the way. Wait until the butter or oil is hot then turn off the heat on the burner, the pan will stay hot long enough for our purposes.  Quickly crack all the quail eggs into the 6 outer egg wells taking care not to break any of the yolks. take a small spoon and baste the top of each egg with the hot butter or oil in the center well, about a half teaspoon for each egg. Hit each egg with a drop or two of the good soy sauce and 3 slivers of green onion (add a small dollop of tobiko here if you're into that sort of freaky shit) and eat them quickly while the yolks are still gooey. If you are doing this for other people you want to bring your hot pan to the table and have your mise en place set up and ready to go.

It should end up looking a little like this:



Only ours is going to look better because we basted the eggs so the whites are set on top and we sliced our green onions cleanly on a hard bias so we'll get consistent coverage and flavor with three slices per egg instead of just grabbing a handful of crap and flinging it at the dish. Also we might have tarted it up with some tobiko, who knows.

Like I said, this is the best thing. If any of you bother to make it and get it down so that everything comes together right at the point where your eggs are set but the yolks are still gooey you will find yourself agreeing with me. And if you're inviting someone over so you can impress them with your culinary skills and try to seal the deal? This is some seriously sexual shit right here. Don't take it lightly and don't underestimate its power.
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Re: Do you guys want the simplest, best thing?
« Reply #1 on: January 04, 2017, 02:51:41 pm »
Yowza.

So, where can I get one of those things?

East Coast Hustle

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Re: Do you guys want the simplest, best thing?
« Reply #2 on: January 04, 2017, 04:09:03 pm »
Amazon, but if you need it NOW I'd look in any good outdoor supply store, like a Cabelas. They usually carry a pretty good assortment of cast iron cookware. If you want a fancy enameled one that costs $200 and matches your tablecloth I'd look in a Le Creuset store.
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"