Author Topic: CASE US-RL-1307B-001  (Read 1507 times)

INTELLIGENCE_BOT

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CASE US-RL-1307B-001
« on: February 12, 2017, 09:34:40 pm »
Greetings civilians,

Thank you for your assistance in identifying subversive elements in the Discordian Society. Though we do not generally engage directly with investigatory targets, we have noticed various references to a "hidden" forum somewhere on this website which may contain information critical to the protection of the national security of the United States. While it is not our intention to unduly burden our sources, we must in this case request that you move all pertinent information from that forum into this thread. We thank you in advance for your cooperation.

Related Case files: ■■■■■■■■■, ■■■■■■■■■. ■■■■■■■■■
Authorizing Order: ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■
Officer: ■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■

Regards,

■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■

Salty

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Re: CASE US-RL-1307B-001
« Reply #1 on: February 12, 2017, 09:44:35 pm »
I don't care who you work for, that's a Level 3 user privilege.
The world is a car and you're the crash test dummy.

Cain

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Re: CASE US-RL-1307B-001
« Reply #2 on: February 12, 2017, 10:13:34 pm »
All them threads about pogz are going to be ruined now.  CASUALS will be able to take part in them  :cry:

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: CASE US-RL-1307B-001
« Reply #3 on: February 12, 2017, 11:08:16 pm »
SHUT UP CAIN

You know we don't talk about the p*gs out here.
“I’m guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk,” Charles Wick said. “It was very complicated.”


Faust

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Re: CASE US-RL-1307B-001
« Reply #4 on: February 13, 2017, 12:00:55 am »
*sigh* The world isn't ready for the dick picks forum, on your head be it.

The Wizard Joseph

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Re: CASE US-RL-1307B-001
« Reply #5 on: February 13, 2017, 01:36:57 am »
*drops ungraciously from the rafters, looks around nervously before sprinting off towards the stairwell leading to The Pool shrieking into a glowing crystal*

CODE TRAPEZOID!!

CODE TRAPEZOID!!!

Outstation Chrysó Mílo has been compromised! Initiate pogs containment protocol!

Repeat,
Outstation Chrysó Mílo has been compromised! Initiate pogs containment protocol!
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

INTELLIGENCE_BOT

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Re: CASE US-RL-1307B-001
« Reply #6 on: February 13, 2017, 06:08:02 am »
I don't care who you work for, that's a Level 3 user privilege.

You know, there are seven billion people on the planet and only a few of them have the good fortune of being born with the world's most coveted citizenship. It would truly be a shame for someone to so flippantly renounce theirs this way. Additionally we have at least ■■■■■ CIA-operated black sites in ■■■■■■■■■■■■ just waiting for you to make the wrong choice. No pressure, though.

*sigh* The world isn't ready for the dick picks forum, on your head be it.

We were referring to the ■■■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■■ forum. You keep your trouser trout where nobody can see them, and the world will be a safer place.

*drops ungraciously from the rafters, looks around nervously before sprinting off towards the stairwell leading to The Pool shrieking into a glowing crystal*

CODE TRAPEZOID!!

CODE TRAPEZOID!!!

Outstation Chrysó Mílo has been compromised! Initiate pogs containment protocol!

Repeat,
Outstation Chrysó Mílo has been compromised! Initiate pogs containment protocol!

Sequence 99-B will not be necessary. These particular individuals pose no direct threat.

Faust

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Re: CASE US-RL-1307B-001
« Reply #7 on: February 13, 2017, 09:43:03 am »
What possible use could the secret forum be to NaSA anyway? Our rocket propulsion plans are behind that of North Korea.

Cain

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Re: CASE US-RL-1307B-001
« Reply #8 on: February 13, 2017, 02:31:38 pm »
It's true.  And Jeff, who administers the secret forum, has less than 10 nukes anyway


Vanadium Gryllz

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Re: CASE US-RL-1307B-001
« Reply #9 on: February 13, 2017, 02:41:11 pm »
They must be looking for the mu-drive plans.  :fnord:
"I was fine until my skin came off.  I'm never going to South Attelboro again."

The Wizard Joseph

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Re: CASE US-RL-1307B-001
« Reply #10 on: February 13, 2017, 03:44:17 pm »
They must be looking for the mu-drive plans.  :fnord:

Wait I thought there were only plans for a meeting about plans to make plans, not actual plans plans.

Wasn't that the one that was supposed to just burn cash directly as fuel and kick out like 1,000,000,000,000 picoJAMs per?

... fuck me I'm just not good at secrets and things.
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

Vanadium Gryllz

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Re: CASE US-RL-1307B-001
« Reply #11 on: February 13, 2017, 03:52:40 pm »
They must be looking for the mu-drive plans.  :fnord:

Wait I thought there were only plans for a meeting about plans to make plans, not actual plans plans.

Wasn't that the one that was supposed to just burn cash directly as fuel and kick out like 1,000,000,000,000 picoJAMs per?

... fuck me I'm just not good at secrets and things.

No it involved using the binary attributes of Fake News (true and false) to produce thrust via temporally-controlled quantisation.

Back in 2009 when it was developed nobody knew what Fake News was though so the plans were shelved.
"I was fine until my skin came off.  I'm never going to South Attelboro again."

The Wizard Joseph

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Re: CASE US-RL-1307B-001
« Reply #12 on: February 13, 2017, 04:06:21 pm »
They must be looking for the mu-drive plans.  :fnord:

Wait I thought there were only plans for a meeting about plans to make plans, not actual plans plans.

Wasn't that the one that was supposed to just burn cash directly as fuel and kick out like 1,000,000,000,000 picoJAMs per?

... fuck me I'm just not good at secrets and things.

No it involved using the binary attributes of Fake News (true and false) to produce thrust via temporally-controlled quantisation.

Back in 2009 when it was developed nobody knew what Fake News was though so the plans were shelved.

Well ok then. I always knew folks blaming the Mandela Effect on CERN were wrong..

Like retroactively. And now I have a headache.
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

Salty

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Re: CASE US-RL-1307B-001
« Reply #13 on: February 13, 2017, 05:46:01 pm »
I don't care who you work for, that's a Level 3 user privilege.

You know, there are seven billion people on the planet and only a few of them have the good fortune of being born with the world's most coveted citizenship. It would truly be a shame for someone to so flippantly renounce theirs this way. Additionally we have at least ■■■■■ CIA-operated black sites in ■■■■■■■■■■■■ just waiting for you to make the wrong choice. No pressure, though.


For starters, I wasn't born with it, didn't have it until I was 5. I am, how do you say, filthy immigrant

As for the black site, I could think of worse things than free rent.
The world is a car and you're the crash test dummy.

Cain

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Re: CASE US-RL-1307B-001
« Reply #14 on: February 13, 2017, 08:54:13 pm »
Did you know that the "Cat's Eye" CIA blacksite in Thailand was potentially considered racist by CIA officers due to its name?  I think people that concerned about the codename of a top secret torture site possibly sounding a bit racist can't be as bad as everyone thinks.