Author Topic: How everyone at PD got their SUPER POWERS!  (Read 551 times)

The Wizard Joseph

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How everyone at PD got their SUPER POWERS!
« on: April 10, 2017, 01:19:23 pm »
Since I don't know everyone here well enough to get all of the facts out consider this thread open for others to tell tales, add details, or to write "corrections" of stories that are already told. The only rule is that you can't tell your OWN tale.

I'm starting with Q.G. but have other bits in mind for other folks to write up as I get  the chance. I need something unstructured to do and this seems like a fun way to get myself writing again as the days go by. I figure other folks might have some fun with getting "The Truth" out too.

There's no problem with contradictory stories or addendums. This is about half way between comic book and tabloid as I see it in my head.
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

The Wizard Joseph

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Re: How everyone at PD got their SUPER POWERS!
« Reply #1 on: April 10, 2017, 01:20:39 pm »
Q.G. Pennyworth

Once an ordinary New England girl with a taste for Punk, H.P. Lovecraft, and Chinese food Q.G. was at an all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet that began to serve iddy-bitty little baby octopus sushi. Upon seeing the tiny tentacles sticking out of the rolled rice and seaweed "delicacies" a TERRIBLE urge overcame her and she succumbed to an involuntary compulsion to eat one. The cephalopod RNA was immediately integrated into her own biochemistry and the intense compulsion became suddenly quite voluntary as she fell upon the sushi consuming everything with even the slightest bit of octopus or squid in it, right there at the buffet. The other customers were aghast at the sight of it and the host of the restaurant approached her only to be rather curtly told IN HIS HEAD to "Bring Me More!" Seeing no option this is exactly what happened as tray after tray was brought out until the entire week's supply of fresh cephalopod flesh was at last exhausted. Q.G. was at this point in a full-on frenzy and had only the slightest impression of the horrified reactions from the remaining guests as she ran to the door and opened it WITH HER FACE. The police cordon that had surrounded the restaurant was entirely ineffective at containing the now 9 foot tall rampaging Q.G. as evey single officer failed their SAN checks and developed at least temporary psychosis from seeing the still growing Girl With The Tentacle Face take off sprinting for the nearest fishmonger and feeling the psychic projection of her dreadful hunger.
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

The Wizard Joseph

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Re: How everyone at PD got their SUPER POWERS!
« Reply #2 on: April 10, 2017, 01:57:59 pm »
P3nT4gR4m

The troublesome Soul-Traveller today known as P3nT4gR4m was one of Jesus' original 23 disciples. That fateful day when Jesus is said in the "gospels" to have calmed the storm was in fact a pernicious truncation of the real story. Jesus was in fact a high level initiate in several mystical schools and had drawn notable attention from entities high and low in the Realms Beyond. In his initial incarnation P3nT4gR4m was known as P3ntiVs and was a Roman citizen living in the Palestine province as a seeker of the mystical arts. He and Jesus clicked up not long after "Peter" got his new name. See now Jesus had been sending out all kinds of weird vibes and on that fateful voyage where a storm is said to have come up what they left out was that Jesus was not just "sleeping" in the hold, but engaged in astral combat with none other than Great Cthulhu who had come to feast upon the souls of the followers of this "Son of Man" and while so locked in astral battle was unable to enact corporeal manifestation. When the disciples panicked at the sudden storm from the psychic bleed-over and awakened Jesus, after explicitly being told NOT to, they inadvertently invited GC to follow into the corporeal realms. Needless to say this was a matter that Jesus would have to handle up on the deck. In the confusion and chaos P3ntiVs was able to at last read from Jesus' pathnotes on the soul and timetravel. With all of the astral and corporeal turbulence in the air this unfortunately knocked him into a scenario not unlike the story of "Quantum Leap" hopping from lifetime to lifetime and facing all manner of struggles in the intervals between hops. 10 of the original disciples lost body and soul that dreadful day before Jesus managed to render Great Cthulhu dormant once more and the disappearance of P3ntiVs was presumed by all but perhaps The Man himself to have been the 11th. To this day none who have seen the uncut versions of the gospels dare mention the incident. The great spell now written on P3nT4gR4m's soul is in fact still in the process of resolving and grants him full immunity to magic effects and SAN checks. He unconsciously perceives all points in spacetime simultaneously and so cannot be successfully targeted with a mundane attack either, but does suffer occasional headache and fits of existential dread.
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

P3nT4gR4m

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Re: How everyone at PD got their SUPER POWERS!
« Reply #3 on: April 10, 2017, 11:27:11 pm »
 :cpd:
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and its not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesnt matter." -- Max Tegmark

The Wizard Joseph

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Re: How everyone at PD got their SUPER POWERS!
« Reply #4 on: April 10, 2017, 11:52:36 pm »
:cpd:

Also this. More tomorrow morning probably. It's worth noting that I'm pretty sure one of your incarnations was involved in building Hadrian's "wall" and the trauma was so intense that it has never incarnated outside of Scotland since as a symbol of spiritual divorce from The Empire.. maybe... image hazy try again later.
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

The Wizard Joseph

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Re: How everyone at PD got their SUPER POWERS!
« Reply #5 on: April 15, 2017, 01:01:57 am »
Cramulus

The irredeemable deviant being known as Cramulus is in fact a composite of an ordinary New England Spag and xeno-fungal parasite known as The Stache. Upon being diagnosed with early onset diabetes this otherwise entirely mundane and statistically normative Spag came to the attention of  The Stache's vast host-candidate seeking intelligence apparatus and was deemed a PERFECT match. The Stache is nearly invulnerable to harm save for an unfortunate biological allergy to insulin. It had been seeking candidates for decades using imperfect hosts drawn from the dregs of society among the diabetics that had either gone undiagnosed or had somehow managed to resist the siren's call of doing insulin and eating sugary treats and other body destroying substances like crystal meth and crocadil... but THIS Spag had been different. He was fresh and unspoiled and not yet in thrall to the vicious insulin cycle having only recently been diagnosed.

One dark night in a town not far from Innsmouth a torrid scene not unlike an Ayn Rand novel crossed with all of The Mask movies unfolded as The Stache slid its whispy tendrils through the poorly sealed window of this poor Spag's humble abode and moved on him like a bitch, and took it all the way, like ALL THE WAY. This only to discover an unexpected level of compatibility with this Spag FAR beyond any it had so far experienced with any being on this rotten little backwater planet they call "Earth". Soon there was no Stache and no Spag, but a new synthesis of being known only as Cramulus(KRAM-yu-lu) came into being and immediately began hanging inscrutable signs all over town and collaborating on international projects with all manner of unsavory characters. It's said that Cramulus has nearly gained a stranglehold over the global insulin supply and has considerable investment in junkfood, candy, and sodapop concerns the world over. None dare call it conspiracy nor openly question the motives of the mustachioed fiend or find themselves just another back alley insulin overdose statistic...


In fact forget I even posted this. Really.
« Last Edit: April 15, 2017, 04:15:37 am by The Wizard Joseph »
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

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Re: How everyone at PD got their SUPER POWERS!
« Reply #6 on: April 15, 2017, 03:14:51 am »
These are quite enjoyable.
Im guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk, Charles Wick said. It was very complicated.


The Wizard Joseph

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Re: How everyone at PD got their SUPER POWERS!
« Reply #7 on: April 15, 2017, 04:09:12 am »
These are quite enjoyable.

Thanks! I'm glad you like 'em.  :) it seems that I'm just not able to be quite so regular as a writer, but as long as I don't initially ignore The Impulse whenever it so happens to strike the writing goes pretty well. It's giving my mind something to think about other than my own shit, which is somehow helpful for the anxiety-depression-whatever thing always sitting in my mind these days. It takes a little while to gestate the ideas, but I'm not exactly sure how it will go until I do it, much like how I used to do improv rants on stage. This is an entertaining form of therapy in a sense.
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz:

The Wizard Joseph

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Re: How everyone at PD got their SUPER POWERS!
« Reply #8 on: April 16, 2017, 04:25:38 pm »
Salty

There was once a noble bloodline of Tibetian yeti traditionally sworn to protect various lamas and sacred shrines. Sadly during the Chinese government's religious-political purges in the early 90's most of the line was wiped out and several young Yeti still having not undergone their first change were captured along with the newly selected Panchen Lama and placed in a Chinese prison-lab where that government performs it's most secret and dastardly geno-psychic experimentation. The were-yeti that has today chosen to be known as Salty was subjected to many brutal treatments intended to both engender absolute obedience to the Chinese government and force the early expression of his ancient yeti heritage. In one of the only clandestine raids performed in failed attempt to liberate the Panchen Lama and other prisoners the child-yeti was "freed" only to be placed in a somewhat less intensive and brutal American clandestine "holding facility" in remote and terribly frigid reaches of northern Alaska. Here it was discovered that the treatments given by the Chinese had produced an oddly plastic genetic expression and both telepathic and bio-psychic abilities. Salty could change form at will and also project many different appearances over the two basic physical changes allowing him to appear as either an adult human or as a young primate of any gender or species variant to the casual, unaided non psychically active observer. This ability was not doing Salty very much good because he refused to serve his new captors in exchange for greater privilege and desired only the freedom he had known in adolescence, so he spent a lot of time doing little more than requesting books to read and dreaming of a day when he could attempt a real escape. That day finally came when Salty was well into his 20s and the Bush-era budget expansions for super secret prisons were allowed to lapse under the Obama administration and Salty was able to impersonate several of his poorly trained, bottom dollar pirvatized security guards and escape to the Pacific Northwest where he found himself quite fallen in love with the most powerful psionic being in the region, if not the world known to those very few in The Know About Such Things as The Nigel. They are also unified in their mutual ideology which may be summed up as "We must find a way to destroy all of these pesky humans running around fucking things up" and Salty is rather viciously protective of the Nigel in a way that echoes his yeti ancestors' protective instinct over the sacred places and personages of Tibet, not that The Nigel requires such protections. She simply finds it endearing when he gets all bitey over the slightest of perceived insults and happily cleans up any messes left afterwards.
« Last Edit: April 16, 2017, 04:30:42 pm by The Wizard Joseph »
You can't get out backward.  You have to go forward to go back.. better press on! - Willie Wonka, PBUH

Life can be seen as a game with no reset button, no extra lives, and if the power goes out there is no restarting.  If that's all you see life as you are not long for this world, and never will get it.

"Ayn Rand never swung a hammer in her life and had serious dominance issues" - The Fountainhead

"World domination is such an ugly phrase. I prefer to call it world optimisation."
 - Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality :lulz: