World Politics Finally Devolves Into Early 90's Trashy Talk Show

[Hagtard Celine Dion Mustard]

http://www.reuters.com/article/us-northkorea-missiles-china-quake/north-korea-says-rockets-to-u-s-inevitable-as-u-s-bombers-fly-off-north-korean-coast-idUSKCN1BY0BS

Fucking REUTERS, ground zero for neutral and objective reporting, is finally starting to sound like The Onion. If the autistic backwater of North Korea were even capable of getting out of its electric wheelchair to throw a punch, we'd be on the brink of nuclear war instigated in the same manner as a bizarre chapter from a Douglas Adams novel, save for the fact that our LEADERS aren't YET talking about each other's mother's.

Despite being creatively innocuous, apparently being called "rocket man" is enough to prompt Kim Jong Il - a grown man who has difficulty locating his sideburns - to shoot back with all of the fury of a SubReddit title. Donald Trump has been called a lot of well-deserved nicknames over the last nine months, but "Dotard" really combines the childishness of the Internet with all of the artistic nuance of a Jackson Pollock.

Finally, my wishes have come true. The headlines of my personal utopia have never been anything short of "Dotard to Rocket Man: U Mad, Bro?"

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Sorry they disrespected your hero.

[Hagtard Celine Dion Mustard]

Sorry they disrespected your hero.

If you think I have a hero in all of this, then you don't understand me. At all.

I think you think I'm someone I'm not. I'm not sure if that's deliberate or not, since I don't know whether or not the person I think you are is the person you are.

Then again, I'm not entirely sure that you are the person you think you are.

[tyrannosaurus vex]

"all the fury of a subreddit title"...

I mean.. have you ever heard Trump say literally anything?

[The Wizard Joseph]

Sorry they disrespected your hero.

If you think I have a hero in all of this, then you don't understand me. At all.

I think you think I'm someone I'm not. I'm not sure if that's deliberate or not, since I don't know whether or not the person I think you are is the person you are.

Then again, I'm not entirely sure that you are the person you think you are.

You sound like an upset teenager just discovering pot. Maybe geopolitics ain't your thing.

[Cain]

It was "old beast lunatic" in Korean, "dotard" was an approximate translation.

North Korea has always thrown out hilariously undiplomatic insults to foregin diplomats and world leaders - look at some of their comments on Hillary Clinton, for example.  This is the first time they've had the opportunity to use them on a leader as thin-skinned as Trump though.  No-one else dignifies their baiting with a response, instead farming out a comment to some low-level functionary.

Every time they provoke Trump, he visibly flinches and responds with some dipshit chest-beating on Twitter.  North Korea then responds with another missile or nuclear warhead test.  You don't need to be a genius to see what their game is.  You do have to wonder what sort of idiot keeps walking into the same trap, time and time again though....probably some old beast lunatic of some kind.

[Hagtard Celine Dion Mustard]

You do have to wonder what sort of idiot keeps walking into the same trap, time and time again though...

The American public?

[LMNO]

It was "old beast lunatic" in Korean, "dotard" was an approximate translation.

OMG that's even better.

[hooplala]

Hey Pelvis, fuck you and your asinine opinions of Jackson Pollack.

[Cain]

It was "old beast lunatic" in Korean, "dotard" was an approximate translation.

OMG that's even better.

1. Land wars in Asia
2. Invading Russia in winter
3. Attempt to out-insult North Korea.

They're just all historically bad ideas.

[The Wizard Joseph]

 

[Hagtard Celine Dion Mustard]

Hey Pelvis, fuck you and your asinine opinions of Jackson Pollack.

Pollock's most well-known style is a lot of interesting things, but nuanced is not one of them.

[Prelate Diogenes Shandor]

Every time they provoke Trump, he visibly flinches and responds with some dipshit chest-beating on Twitter.  North Korea then responds with another missile or nuclear warhead test.  You don't need to be a genius to see what their game is.  You do have to wonder what sort of idiot keeps walking into the same trap, time and time again though....probably some old beast lunatic of some kind.

I don't know whether it's idiotic or brilliant. Making sure that one of the few world leaders who's an even bigger jackass than he is stays in the news could potentially improve Trump's image.

Like how capitalism was made to appear good during the cold war via the cheap trick of continually contrasting it with stalinism.

[hooplala]

Hey Pelvis, fuck you and your asinine opinions of Jackson Pollack.

Pollock's most well-known style is a lot of interesting things, but nuanced is not one of them.

I wouldn't expect any less from you.