Open Bar: Drinks are on the Supreme Court

[altered]

Tuna is useless to me, as I need a diet with a lot of fat. No, Kraft cheese product isn't fatty enough.

Or it's the wrong kind of fat, anyway: animal fat seems to be better for my purposes, namely "not being hungry again in one hour" — I have had limited luck with vegan, artificial or chemically manipulated fats.

Also, there's a balance that needs to be struck:

Without sufficient fat, I burn through everything in minutes.
Without sufficient carbs, I am essentially non-functional although alive and usually awake.
Without sufficient fiber, I eat three times as much as I do otherwise, and I have an intestinal traffic jam that turns my fecal matter into pre-stressed concrete.
Without sufficient protein, I have trouble transitioning from the fast-burning brain fuel carbs to the slow-burning survival fuel fat.

The overall mixture is hard to get just right, but my body is very good at explaining to me what I need to have, so I just follow my gut instinct.

Interesting fact I learned due to that: a tub of ice cream has several thousand calories, almost all of which are in fat and carbs. Ice cream with a lot of fruit and grains (for example: strawberry shortcake ice cream) provides sufficient fiber. All I need to have with it is a single slice of pizza and I can run for a good six hours, no problem, adjusting only with occasional cravings for protein sources (almonds, usually, as they're the only nut that I seem able to digest).

[Cain]

Pasta and pesto.

Pasta will take about 10 minutes, if you're getting the wholewheat stuff, and the pesto will take about 30 seconds to stir in. Make a massive container of it, say 1 kilo, and that can keep you going for a week, assuming you're transporting it from fridge to fridge. Most pestos use unsaturated fats as well, so they're good in terms of calorie content, but it's also the better kind of fat.

[altered]

Cooking time isn't the only concern. There's also "make a token effort to not leave a gigantic fucking mess" time, which is what really takes it over the half hour mark. Pesto is no exception, because it sticks to everything it touches, and if you have cause to leave it there for a moment it becomes a caul of impenetrable disgusting looking green stains.

Also, I haven't found premade pesto. Which is surprising, as this is America and we like that sort of grody shit. But here we are, and as a result preparing pesto triples the amount of dishes I need to clean and takes forever all on its lonesome.

[Cain]

That is surprising, it's common as muck over here. I literally have jars of the stuff as part of my emergency Brexit stash.

[Doktor Howl]

Cooking time isn't the only concern. There's also "make a token effort to not leave a gigantic fucking mess" time, which is what really takes it over the half hour mark. Pesto is no exception, because it sticks to everything it touches, and if you have cause to leave it there for a moment it becomes a caul of impenetrable disgusting looking green stains.

Also, I haven't found premade pesto. Which is surprising, as this is America and we like that sort of grody shit. But here we are, and as a result preparing pesto triples the amount of dishes I need to clean and takes forever all on its lonesome.

Kroger carries it.

[altered]

My return to Boston means I am not sure where I can find a Kroger, but I'm sure if I ask enough people today I'll have someone point me to the green goop.

[Bruno]

This week, I'm experimenting with something I'm calling "Fajita Fried Slaw".

It's one shredded red cabbage, a pound of ground sirloin, prolly bout a cup of olive oil, and a pack of fajita seasoning. Everything fried in each other.

It's a variation of "Country Fried Slaw", which is hot breakfast sausage, and shredded cabbage fried in each other. I'm trying to eat healthy, now.  Also, the ground sirloin was BOGO, otherwise, it would have been ground 97% lean turkey doped with Better Than Bullion, or some other concentrated extract of bovine.

The hardest part of making any kind of fried slaw is fitting a whole shredded cabbage into a frying pan. It's not so much fried as greased and steamed. I think to do it right, I would need an upside down galvanized trash can lid, and a medium-sized bonfire.

[altered]

Never heat galvanized metal unless you want to die horribly. I speak from partial experience (I got a whiff of zinc fumes one time and the resultant headache was wrestling with cluster headaches for the worst pain ever) but the literature speaks for itself.

[Bruno]

I've had a couple classes on welding. I'm familiar with zinc fume fever.

Had one guy tell me that you won't get it if you weld with your mouth full of milk. 

[Cain]

My return to Boston means I am not sure where I can find a Kroger, but I'm sure if I ask enough people today I'll have someone point me to the green goop.

If they stock it, try the red stuff also. Normally red pesto has cheese, so the fat content is even better.

[Fujikoma]

Yeah, heating galvanized steel is a bad idea. I've been lead to believe that it's normal steel that's been bathed in a chemical bath. My boss at a metal shop once welded some for a customer, who ended up not wanting to pay for the result anyway which, well, sucked. He shouldn't have done that and he knew he shouldn't have, but he just wanted the guy to go away and stop distracting us from our contract work. He had green loogies and snot for a little while. Don't cook with galvanized steel, unsure what the temperatures are that cause the reaction but it's nasty stuff.

[Bruno]

Honestly, I don't think cooking temperatures would be enough to vaporize the zinc, but maybe? The bigger issue would probably be zinc being dissolved in the food itself. Either way, I promise that if i decide to really commit to eating a lot of fried cabbage, I'll at least invest in a bigass wok or something before I try cooking on a garbage can lid.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

My return to Boston means I am not sure where I can find a Kroger, but I'm sure if I ask enough people today I'll have someone point me to the green goop.

Stop & Shop and nearly every other store I've looked stocks it. Small glass container, usually on the top shelf with the marinaras.

[Fujikoma]

I see the world with new eyes, hear it with new ears, I've been hibernating for a very long time, and someone came along and breathed new life into that.

EDIT: This can only end in disaster. That said, I feel a stirring of everything I've denied myself during my quest for self-improvement, and now, it seems far less sinister.

[Doktor Howl]

I see the world with new eyes, hear it with new ears, I've been hibernating for a very long time, and someone came along and breathed new life into that.

EDIT: This can only end in disaster. That said, I feel a stirring of everything I've denied myself during my quest for self-improvement, and now, it seems far less sinister.

New eyes and new ears only help you if you live in a world that does not look like shit and sound like bad farts.

Inside every person there is a better person trying to get out.  Find that better person and kick the mortal fuck out of him, because he's only going to cause problems.  There is no place in the world for better people.