illuminatus book summary

[Slarti]

from http://rinkworks.com/bookaminute/b/sheawilson.illuminatus.shtml

The Illuminati are a secret society that (DRUGS SEX DRUGS) control everything in the world (SEX DRUGS SEX) including all governments, financial institutions, and (DRUGS SEX DRUGS) intelligence agencies. No, they're not. Well, yes they are but not really. (SEX DRUGS SEX) They originated in Bavaria in 1776 (DRUGS SEX DRUGS). No, actually they go all the way back to Atlantis. No, (SEX DRUGS SEX) Atlantis never really existed. Yes it did. It's not just one society (DRUGS SEX DRUGS), it's a whole bunch of them (SEX DRUGS SEX) together. No, it's just one, and they go all the way back to Atlantis, which never (DRUGS SEX DRUGS) existed, oh yes it did. They've had an uninterrupted existence since 30,000 years ago (SEX DRUGS SEX) -- no they actually only go back as far as the 1800s (DRUGS SEX DRUGS). Fnord.

[agent compassion]

  Yeah, that's about the size of it. I just started on "Leviathan" and I'm still as confused as all get-out...and the Discordians in the book are pretty fucked up too...

[Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy]

I found that link when I was about half way through the Illuminatus and laughed my ass off.  That was the most confusing book I ever read, and that is saying something, trust me.  But I ended up with a strange side effect, I was able to go to a deeper place meditating, to actually get to the outer edges of empty mindedness.  Then I finished the book and the clutter came back.  Keep with it, it is an interesting story.  Borders on porn in spots, but that's cool too.

[Pedero]

Borders on porn in spots, but that's cool too. :twisted:

Yes, the cool thing about the Illuminatus! Trilogy is that at one moment you are watching a spy thriller, the other moment, an account on tripping, then a conspiracy theory, and then you got your porno, and your attitude keeps changing all the time and the book trips you slightly by muddling with your emotions so much.

[agent compassion]

AND it has both Malacypses in it. And lots of pot. And a guy fucking a giant apple(nobody told me THAT part of the initiation.)

[Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy]

AND it has both Malacypses in it. And lots of pot. And a guy fucking a giant apple(nobody told me THAT part of the initiation.)

I'd love to tell you that's the weirdest part, but it's not.  In fact, I think it's not even close.

[Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy]

Borders on porn in spots, but that's cool too.

Yes, the cool thing about the Illuminatus! Trilogy is that at one moment you are watching a spy thriller, the other moment, an account on tripping, then a conspiracy theory, and then you got your porno, and your attitude keeps changing all the time and the book trips you slightly by muddling with your emotions so much.

And false memories, you forgot false memories.  I will need to read it again in a few months.  It was to weird and too long to keep track of everything all the way through.  

[agent compassion]

More digging around in the SF section:

Dune Messiah
By Frank Herbert
Ultra-Condensed by Daniel Saults


Everyone: We're absurdly over-intelligent with identical personalities.

(The Conspirators do some mysterious conspiracy stuff.)

Muad'Dib: Now that I have two children which need my support and care, I'll wander off into the desert and die for no particular reason.

Everyone:    Wahh.

THE END

--><--

The Return of the King
By J. R. R. Tolkien
Ultra-Condensed by David J. Parker and Samuel Stoddard


Aragorn:    We must travel the Paths of the Dead.

Eowyn:    You'll die. (They don't.)

Gandalf:    The Hordes of Mordor will destroy Minis Tirith. (They don't.)

Gandalf:    We must attack Mordor. We'll all be killed. (They aren't.)

Gollum:    Mmmm, yummy finger! (dies)

Frodo:   The Ring has been destroyed, but now we will die in Mordor.

Sam:    Buck up, Master Frodo. (A bunch of feathered DEUS EX MACHINAS come out of NOWHERE and save EVERYBODY.)

THE END

[Pedero]

And the classic:

(The Earth gets BLOWN UP.)

Arthur
I'm a bit upset about that.
Ford
Yes, I can understand that.
(They fly around the galaxy. They go UNDERGROUND, where they see...)

Arthur
The Earth.
Deep Thought
Forty two.




THE END

[Zurtok Khan]

lol.  I keep wanting to buy the Illuminatus Trilogy, along with a text copy of the PD (so that I can make illustrations too!), but I'm a lazy fuck, and haven't done it yet.

Give me money, or give me sex.  Better yet, give me both.

[LMNO]

Illuminatus! is a fun read, but I usually glaze over during the dreaming/drugging/gee-I-wish-I-could-be-as-cool-as-Burroughs text cutups.

But the concepts are pretty clearly laid out.






::giggle::

[Slarti]

illuminatus is getting progressively easier to find on filesharing programs, if you're too lazy to buy it but don't mind reading it on your computer. it's a loooooooooong read though.


(all those other book summaries were really great- the dune messiah one was very accurate too.)

[Horab Fibslager]

i've read illuminatus 5 and 1/2 times.


i fucking hate robert anton wilson and robert shea!

[Solitaire]

The Schrodinger's Cat (I don't care about the O with th dots) trilogy is Confusing in the order (Illuminatus trilogy)*n where n is... I dunno, like, this REALLY BIG prime number or something.

I find it annoying when Wilson arbitrarily decides to write an entire paragraph without punctuation in that book.

Incidentally, is anyone else of the opinion that the "Alice in Wonderland" books are good discordian reading? (In the right context, of course).

[Horab Fibslager]

only on several grams of mushroom, with some lunatic woman screaming "OFF WITH YORU HEAD!" every coupel minutes and jefferson airplanes on the radio.

shrodinger's cat is onyl; confusing when you forget it's all about sex with apes.