Author Topic: Discordian Blessings and WMDs  (Read 1081 times)

Brother Mythos

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Discordian Blessings and WMDs
« on: July 11, 2019, 01:04:38 am »
I'm perfectly comfortable with casting curses, but Discordian blessings are not my area of expertise. I suspect Q. G. Pennyworth is the resident expert on such matters. Anyway, I read the following article, and wondered what the Discordian position is on this important issue:

Russian Orthodox Church considers a ban on blessing weapons of mass destruction

'MOSCOW (RNS) — Early one evening in May 2018, days before the annual parade celebrating the Soviet victory in World War II, a convoy of military trucks carrying long-range nuclear weapons trundled to a halt on the Russian capital’s ring road.

As police officers stood guard, two Russian Orthodox priests wearing cassocks and holding Bibles climbed out of a vehicle and began sprinkling holy water on the stationary Topol and Yars intercontinental ballistic missiles.

Since relations between Russia and the West plummeted after the Kremlin’s seizure of Crimea in 2014, such scenes have become common here. Priests have sanctified S-400 surface-to-air missiles, nuclear submarines, tanks and fighter jets. Several years ago, a priest in Russia’s far east explained that weapons, including nuclear missiles, were “perceived as a means of protection and salvation.”

But the practice could soon be a thing of the past. Last month, a Russian Orthodox Church committee on ecclesiastical law recommended that clergy concentrate on blessing soldiers, rather than weapons.

“One can talk about the blessing of a warrior on military duty in defense of the fatherland,” said Savva Tutunov, a bishop of the Moscow Patriarchate. “At the end of the corresponding ritual, the personal weapon is also blessed — precisely because it is connected to the individual person who is receiving the blessing. By the same reasoning, weapons of mass destruction should not be sanctified.”

Not everyone agrees with the committee’s proposal, which still has to be approved by Patriarch Kirill, the head of the Russian Orthodox Church.'

Here's the link: https://religionnews.com/2019/07/09/russian-orthodox-church-considers-a-ban-on-blessing-weapons-of-mass-destruction/

An inquiring mind wants to know.

Q. G. Pennyworth

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Re: Discordian Blessings and WMDs
« Reply #1 on: July 11, 2019, 04:37:01 pm »
Blessed is the Apple in flight
Blessed is the rock that calls down machine gun fire
Blessed is the raised fist, the bullhorn
The stencil and the paint
Blessed, oh blessed, is the man ablaze

What possible love could be greater
Than the love for the throwers of bricks?
The ones who shatter glass and empires
Those who tilt at windmills and death?
So blessed, blessed are the bricks

Q. G. Pennyworth

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Re: Discordian Blessings and WMDs
« Reply #2 on: July 11, 2019, 04:42:40 pm »
Now that I've exorcised that Holy, lemme get to it.

Mine is a Discordia of the Underdog and the Individual. So, for me, blessing people fighting for the state makes no sense. That said, You Are Pope so if that's what someone wants to do that's their trip. Blessings are not a great idea regardless, since You Can't Tell A Goddess How To Behave, and Eris is gonna do what makes her smile regardless. Usually it's best not to call attention to yourself, anyone you like, or anyone within a 500 mile radius.

Being blessed, even being a saint in waiting of Discordia is a dangerous fucking proposition. Most of my saints died badly.

LMNO

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Re: Discordian Blessings and WMDs
« Reply #3 on: July 11, 2019, 05:29:55 pm »
Spake the prophet, "Most of my heroes don't appear on no stamp!"

The Johnny

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Re: Discordian Blessings and WMDs
« Reply #4 on: July 11, 2019, 06:57:56 pm »

I'm pretty sure that calling for Our Lady's blessing over literally anything, it's the equivalent of summoning a dozen gremling saboteurs.
<<My image in some places, is of a monster of some kind who wants to pull a string and manipulate people. Nothing could be further from the truth. People are manipulated; I just want them to be manipulated more effectively.>>

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Brother Mythos

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Re: Discordian Blessings and WMDs
« Reply #5 on: July 11, 2019, 07:01:48 pm »
My personal philosophy of Discordia is yet to be fully formed, and may never, probably will never, get to that point. Right now, it's mostly about making fun of unproven dogma, and not taking seriously what I believe to be the nonsense of others.

That said, I don't find WMDs to be either humorous, or nonsensical. I will not be casting any blessings upon them.

Thank you all for you insights on this issue.

Q. G. Pennyworth

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Re: Discordian Blessings and WMDs
« Reply #6 on: July 11, 2019, 07:22:12 pm »

chaotic neutral observer

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Re: Discordian Blessings and WMDs
« Reply #7 on: July 12, 2019, 02:00:24 am »
God bless this nuclear missile.
Bless its propulsion system, that it might fly straight and far to reach the heart of our enemies.
Bless its guidance system, that it might strike true.
Bless its warhead, that it might not fizzle, but shine bright and pure, and cleanse the world of the unrighteous.
Bless the hands that made it, the scientists, engineers, and technicians, and let them not be ashamed, but know that they do the Lord's work.
May this missile protect us always.
Bless its many victims, the dead, the dying, the maimed.
Bless the blindness it brings, the scorched flesh, the oozing sores, the birth defects.
Bless the fallout which spreads with the wind, and rains horror upon the unjust.
Bless our leaders in whose charge it rests, and in whose hands our future lies.  May they be ever vigilant.
Amen.
"When I say 'engineering', I have unreasonable expectations.  It must - as you know - look good in PADS AND give you plenty of help ducking and weaving in meetings.  But it must also, at some distant point in time, function.  If it does not, then you must accept that you are not in fact an engineer but instead an MBA.  Hang your head in SHAME, sinner!"

Fujikoma

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Re: Discordian Blessings and WMDs
« Reply #8 on: July 23, 2019, 12:35:56 pm »
Q. G. Pennyworth, you are a freaking genius. Respect.