What's REALLY happening.

[Doktor Howl]

Post your findings.

[Faust]

He has taken them to the sequined rollerdisco in the sky

[altered]

I've heard that Cramulus has been found dragging people into abandoned dog kennels and forcing them to work online jobs on Fiverr and other freelancing sites to fund his addictions to ghost clown pornography and powdered jenkem.

But these rumors were published by an anonymous source, so I don't know whether to believe them or the "Cramulus spreads via airborne insect vectors" theory. It's an open question I think.

[Doktor Howl]

Been back down in the mines.

[altered]

What happened to due process, Dok? Why must we spread these vile lies rather than giving him a proper trial for each rumor?

[Doktor Howl]

What happened to due process, Dok? Why must we spread these vile lies rather than giving him a proper trial for each rumor?

I am just reporting what the free market is saying.  I am not a judge.  For which all of you weird bastards should be grateful.

THAT BEING SAID, it is worth mentioning that Cramulan business models are not helping.  Back when PROFESSOR Cramulus was around, production was up and diabetics were down.  Since he was replaced with the current model, nobody has a pancreas and we haven't produced jack OR shit.  This is why the stock market has tripled in the last 10 years, but wages have stagnated.  Supply-side was bad enough, who the FUCK thought this crap was a good idea?  How do you make Keynesian economics look good?  HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?

[altered]

Professor Cramulus was also a strong supporter of the noble guinea worm. The pretender has been known to take antihelminthics for FUN.

He hates fleas too. You can't trust that kind of behavior, I agree.

But this doesn't mean we should step away from the noble institution of trial by combat! He should be entitled to face his accusers in the arena, sword in hand and a bloodthirsty crowd as judge and jury.

[Doktor Howl]

Professor Cramulus was also a strong supporter of the noble guinea worm. The pretender has been known to take antihelminthics for FUN.

He hates fleas too. You can't trust that kind of behavior, I agree.

But this doesn't mean we should step away from the noble institution of trial by combat! He should be entitled to face his accusers in the arena, sword in hand and a bloodthirsty crowd as judge and jury.

Only if he has to face Richter.

[altered]

Professor Cramulus was also a strong supporter of the noble guinea worm. The pretender has been known to take antihelminthics for FUN.

He hates fleas too. You can't trust that kind of behavior, I agree.

But this doesn't mean we should step away from the noble institution of trial by combat! He should be entitled to face his accusers in the arena, sword in hand and a bloodthirsty crowd as judge and jury.

Only if he has to face Richter.

You don't FACE Richter, you get eaten by ice koalas.

[Doktor Howl]

Professor Cramulus was also a strong supporter of the noble guinea worm. The pretender has been known to take antihelminthics for FUN.

He hates fleas too. You can't trust that kind of behavior, I agree.

But this doesn't mean we should step away from the noble institution of trial by combat! He should be entitled to face his accusers in the arena, sword in hand and a bloodthirsty crowd as judge and jury.

Only if he has to face Richter.

You don't FACE Richter, you get eaten by ice koalas.

Or sliced into one angstrom-thick deli meat.  One or the other.

[Eater of Clowns]

One day, tired of the mundane LARP sessions playing an NPC, Cram decided to really challenge himself. And so Cram LARPed. He LARPed so hard he became the setting. Players still wander his labyrinthine inner halls, his twisting passages, hoping for the saving throw that will let them escape. And in the backs of their minds the thought gnaws at them, do they even really want to escape at all?

[LMNO]

You're saying we get to enter Cramulus?

[Cain]

[Doktor Howl]

[Cain]