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Author Topic: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only  (Read 99650 times)

altered

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Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« Reply #165 on: July 25, 2020, 04:32:14 pm »
 :lulz:

Someone, somehow, stole my work email. Cait.null.pro@gmail.com, meant to impress the hiring managers with how SERIOUS I am. Just fucking gone. I got force-logged out of it this morning and can’t recover it.
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“I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me.”

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Cainad (dec.)

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Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« Reply #166 on: July 26, 2020, 04:19:07 am »
I joined this forum when I was 17. Today I turned 30 years old.

Just felt like saying it.
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minuspace

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Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« Reply #167 on: July 26, 2020, 04:54:46 am »
Happy Bud-day!
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Doktor Howl

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Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« Reply #168 on: July 26, 2020, 06:00:21 pm »
Quote from: Cainad (dec.) on July 26, 2020, 04:19:07 am
I joined this forum when I was 17. Today I turned 30 years old.

Just felt like saying it.

I joined when I was 34.

I'm dead now.
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Molon Lube

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Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« Reply #169 on: July 27, 2020, 04:33:07 am »
Weird Regis Philbin died I didn't hear anything about iit.  And by hear, I mean none of my fb feed people posted about it.
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Fujikoma

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Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« Reply #170 on: July 27, 2020, 06:57:01 am »
The price is wrong, biatch. Probably the wrong game show.
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chaotic neutral observer

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Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« Reply #171 on: July 27, 2020, 08:20:41 pm »
The phone rang.  We still have a landline.  Mom told me to get it.
I answered.  It was a recording, from Visa/Mastercard account services; I'd qualified for a 0% interest rate.
But this time, there was a difference.  I pressed one.

There was a long pause, pregnant with the impregnable silence of the pit.

Then, sound; first, the background noise of a call center, and then a man with an Indian accent.  I don't remember what he said.  It didn't matter.

I inhaled, and screamed.  A hideous, bone-scraping, mind-flaying scream, a wail drawn from deepest void of hell, a cry empty of sanity, of humanity, of hope.  And as my breath slowly dwindled, my voice fading to a gasping, agonized moan,
I hung up.

I'd like to think I ruined his day.

I have a taste for this, now.
Next time will be worse.
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Desine fata deum flecti sperare precando.

chaotic neutral observer

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Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« Reply #172 on: July 27, 2020, 08:26:06 pm »
Quote from: chaotic neutral observer on July 27, 2020, 08:20:41 pm
There was a long pause, pregnant with the impregnable silence of the pit.

What the fuck is that line?  "Pregnant with the impregnable"?  Are you just stringing together random words and pretending that's clever?  God, you're such a moron.
« Last Edit: July 27, 2020, 09:43:49 pm by chaotic neutral observer »
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POFP

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Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« Reply #173 on: July 27, 2020, 08:35:22 pm »
 :lulz:

This should also be a mobile app. It should respond to all calls from specified numbers or numbers owned by specified organizations with blood-curdling screams, and then maybe throw in a Wilhelm here and there.
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Doktor Howl

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Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« Reply #174 on: July 28, 2020, 04:23:08 am »
Quote from: chaotic neutral observer on July 27, 2020, 08:20:41 pm
The phone rang.  We still have a landline.  Mom told me to get it.
I answered.  It was a recording, from Visa/Mastercard account services; I'd qualified for a 0% interest rate.
But this time, there was a difference.  I pressed one.

There was a long pause, pregnant with the impregnable silence of the pit.

Then, sound; first, the background noise of a call center, and then a man with an Indian accent.  I don't remember what he said.  It didn't matter.

I inhaled, and screamed.  A hideous, bone-scraping, mind-flaying scream, a wail drawn from deepest void of hell, a cry empty of sanity, of humanity, of hope.  And as my breath slowly dwindled, my voice fading to a gasping, agonized moan,
I hung up.

I'd like to think I ruined his day.

I have a taste for this, now.
Next time will be worse.

:mittens:

You gotta prerecord some screams of the damned stuff laid over you saying "WE GOT YOUR FRIENDS."
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Molon Lube

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Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« Reply #175 on: July 28, 2020, 05:26:21 am »
Gotta do it in a nice Beetlejuice croak. Southern accent to really draw it out for the best effect.

And you gotta pipe that screams of the damned shit in from the side so it comes in clear and you can still talk live.

You know. Gotta have a conversation. About your dog. We got him too. And what’s next? Your neighbor? Your savior? Well, too late for them. We got them and we got it all and we got you too. Click.
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“I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me.”

There's a hole in everything.

Doktor Howl

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Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« Reply #176 on: July 28, 2020, 04:01:37 pm »
Or just the voiceover from the end of Fett's Vette.

"Hey Chris, it's Bowie, uh, I'm at the Pathstation... I was wondering if I could crash on your couch, would that be cool? They locked me out of my apartment. Um... so call me back, man, there's a payphone here, some kid stole my cellphone, but the joke's on him cause Sprint shut it off... uh... just come by the station, alright? I'm gonna be sleeping on one of the benches"
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Molon Lube

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Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« Reply #177 on: July 28, 2020, 04:29:23 pm »
Just make a whole fucking playlist. So much potential. :lulz:
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“I am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me.”

There's a hole in everything.

Chelagoras The Boulder

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Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« Reply #178 on: July 29, 2020, 07:50:14 am »
Hey guys, I'm back! 2020 has somehow failed to kill me thus far. should ask for my fucking money back.

recently got a new job producing spiritually themed candles for a local small business. Pays better and is safer than what i would have been doing before the pandemic, so i'm pretty happy with it. Also we make dick candles, which is still funny.

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Cramulus

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Re: Open Bar: Curbside Pickup Only
« Reply #179 on: July 29, 2020, 01:43:51 pm »
congrats on the new job

do you need suggestions for spiritual candle names? Cause we could help with that


-Angel's Laundry
-Musty Old Bible
-St. Gulik's Secret Stash

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