Author Topic: Survival tips for a bi guy  (Read 1016 times)

Exoteric

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Survival tips for a bi guy
« on: February 22, 2021, 05:09:16 am »
So, over the last couple months Iíve realized that Iím bisexual. That took me by surprise, to make a serious understatement, and Iím trying to understand the position Iím in as quickly as possible. Iíve been reaching out to people I think already do more than me as part of that. So, thisís a general call for any information any of you want to give me: Resources, advice, specific dangers, whatever. Donít worry about scaring or talking down to me, if you have something you think I should know I want to hear it. I have some stuff to handle right now, so Iím sorry if I donít check back here until next weekend
I havenít been writing for very long, and I want to improve. If any parts of my posts arenít readable, please point them out.

Iím coming off of a bad bout of anxiety, and Iím going to try stepping away from the Internet for a bit and working on my habits. I might come back here if my mental health ever gets more secure, but for now Iím gone. You all take care of yourselves and the people you care about, and keep moving.

altered

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Re: Survival tips for a bi guy
« Reply #1 on: February 22, 2021, 05:22:09 am »
Find your local queers, first of all. Like, thatís literally the very first step. I didnít do that and I had no support network, just years of free fall. Only knowing them through the internet is fine, but the important thing is finding the queers who are local to you. Do not be like me and assume internet queers are enough, you need the locals so you can hear who the bigots are and how to go shopping in the wrong part of town and not get clocked (trust me, now that youíre queer and aware of it, thatís an actual concern you have to have, even if you think nothing has changed).

Next, do your research. Do not trust medical resources that arenít on queer-friendly websites. There are literal centuries of misinformation and demonization about queer life (and Iím not just talking about sex) that you need to sift through, and trust me when I say that you canít do it. Youíre too new to this, you have no way of doing it. EDIT: saying this so you know why you have to pick where your research comes from VERY carefully.

After that, your local queers got this. Theyíve babysat other newbies, theyíll keep you on track.



If youíre talking about very real life-or-death survival, this is super simple. Just lean into the ďtough guyĒ aesthetic hard. Get a bunch of milsurp, grow one of those dumb survivalist beards, buy a gun or at least talk a lot about buying a gun. This is what I do, you know how many people gaybash me? None. Because no one fucking knows Iím not a chud, when I walk around with my desert sand Hazard4 backpack and MOLLE-laden thigh pouches. I have to warn fellow queers about me when they meet me for the first time, but thatís a small price to pay for being functionally immune to RL bigotry.

Also, youíll spend less on clothes. The milsurp is cheap and lasts forever. Goes double on the lasts forever part if you buy ďtacticalĒ stuff: 5.11 Tactical is overpriced but indestructible, Rothco will have your back for everything except for boots, and UTG/Leapers bags are literally impossible to destroy. I have one that has survived being dragged two miles down a freeway, run over by a truck, multiple drenchings in heavy rain, etc. ó and if I got a can of computer duster it would look like new.

If you lay on your sarcastic asshole impression thick when approached by chuds, you also manage to get them to avoid you like the plague without becoming a target of theirs.
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ďThe one where everybody dies.Ē
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Re: Survival tips for a bi guy
« Reply #2 on: February 22, 2021, 03:07:31 pm »
Hi there!  Welcome to the party.

Not sure how much you want to disclose here, but may I ask if you thought you were a gay person who realizes they like the opposite side of things, or if you thought you were straight and then figured out the grass is just as green on your own side?

Also, have you figured out your default ratio?  I don't usually meet people who are perfectly 50/50, and of course it changes in real world context.

Feel free not to answer if it's too personal.

Exoteric

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Re: Survival tips for a bi guy
« Reply #3 on: March 01, 2021, 03:19:42 am »
Quote
Find your local queers, first of all. Like, thatís literally the very first step. I didnít do that and I had no support network, just years of free fall. Only knowing them through the internet is fine, but the important thing is finding the queers who are local to you. Do not be like me and assume internet queers are enough, you need the locals so you can hear who the bigots are and how to go shopping in the wrong part of town and not get clocked (trust me, now that youíre queer and aware of it, thatís an actual concern you have to have, even if you think nothing has changed).

Next, do your research. Do not trust medical resources that arenít on queer-friendly websites. There are literal centuries of misinformation and demonization about queer life (and Iím not just talking about sex) that you need to sift through, and trust me when I say that you canít do it. Youíre too new to this, you have no way of doing it. EDIT: saying this so you know why you have to pick where your research comes from VERY carefully.

After that, your local queers got this. Theyíve babysat other newbies, theyíll keep you on track.



If youíre talking about very real life-or-death survival, this is super simple. Just lean into the ďtough guyĒ aesthetic hard. Get a bunch of milsurp, grow one of those dumb survivalist beards, buy a gun or at least talk a lot about buying a gun. This is what I do, you know how many people gaybash me? None. Because no one fucking knows Iím not a chud, when I walk around with my desert sand Hazard4 backpack and MOLLE-laden thigh pouches. I have to warn fellow queers about me when they meet me for the first time, but thatís a small price to pay for being functionally immune to RL bigotry.

Also, youíll spend less on clothes. The milsurp is cheap and lasts forever. Goes double on the lasts forever part if you buy ďtacticalĒ stuff: 5.11 Tactical is overpriced but indestructible, Rothco will have your back for everything except for boots, and UTG/Leapers bags are literally impossible to destroy. I have one that has survived being dragged two miles down a freeway, run over by a truck, multiple drenchings in heavy rain, etc. ó and if I got a can of computer duster it would look like new.

If you lay on your sarcastic asshole impression thick when approached by chuds, you also manage to get them to avoid you like the plague without becoming a target of theirs.

Holy shit Altered, thank you. This just the kind of thing I was hoping for. Iím not great at networking, but now would be the time to improve. I absolutely know how much of a threat other people can be, though I need to learn who around me are definitely bigots, like you said.

Quote
Hi there!  Welcome to the party.

Not sure how much you want to disclose here, but may I ask if you thought you were a gay person who realizes they like the opposite side of things, or if you thought you were straight and then figured out the grass is just as green on your own side?

Also, have you figured out your default ratio?  I don't usually meet people who are perfectly 50/50, and of course it changes in real world context.

Feel free not to answer if it's too personal.

Thanks for having me, and for giving me space to get out of your questions. I assumed I was straight up until I seriously thought about it. I havenít been paying attention to my ratio, but off the top of my head Iíd say Iím like 70-80% biased towards guys.
I havenít been writing for very long, and I want to improve. If any parts of my posts arenít readable, please point them out.

Iím coming off of a bad bout of anxiety, and Iím going to try stepping away from the Internet for a bit and working on my habits. I might come back here if my mental health ever gets more secure, but for now Iím gone. You all take care of yourselves and the people you care about, and keep moving.

Drake75

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Re: Survival tips for a bi guy
« Reply #4 on: March 01, 2021, 12:23:39 pm »
So, over the last couple months Iíve realized that Iím bisexual. That took me by surprise, to make a serious understatement, and Iím trying to understand the position Iím in as quickly as possible. Iíve been reaching out to people I think already do more than me as part of that. So, thisís a general call for any information any of you want to give me: Resources, advice, specific dangers, whatever. Donít worry about scaring or talking down to me, if you have something you think I should know I want to hear it. I have some stuff to handle right now, so Iím sorry if I donít check back here until next weekend

If you send me dick picks I'll compliment them for you.

Exoteric

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Re: Survival tips for a bi guy
« Reply #5 on: March 02, 2021, 02:24:50 pm »
I preesh the offer, but Iím good
I havenít been writing for very long, and I want to improve. If any parts of my posts arenít readable, please point them out.

Iím coming off of a bad bout of anxiety, and Iím going to try stepping away from the Internet for a bit and working on my habits. I might come back here if my mental health ever gets more secure, but for now Iím gone. You all take care of yourselves and the people you care about, and keep moving.

Exoteric

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Re: Survival tips for a bi guy
« Reply #6 on: March 04, 2021, 04:30:29 pm »
Quote
Next, do your research. Do not trust medical resources that arenít on queer-friendly websites. There are literal centuries of misinformation and demonization about queer life (and Iím not just talking about sex) that you need to sift through, and trust me when I say that you canít do it. Youíre too new to this, you have no way of doing it. EDIT: saying this so you know why you have to pick where your research comes from VERY carefully.
Are there any sites you trust, or know are shitty?
I havenít been writing for very long, and I want to improve. If any parts of my posts arenít readable, please point them out.

Iím coming off of a bad bout of anxiety, and Iím going to try stepping away from the Internet for a bit and working on my habits. I might come back here if my mental health ever gets more secure, but for now Iím gone. You all take care of yourselves and the people you care about, and keep moving.

altered

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Re: Survival tips for a bi guy
« Reply #7 on: March 04, 2021, 06:40:00 pm »
Quote
Next, do your research. Do not trust medical resources that arenít on queer-friendly websites. There are literal centuries of misinformation and demonization about queer life (and Iím not just talking about sex) that you need to sift through, and trust me when I say that you canít do it. Youíre too new to this, you have no way of doing it. EDIT: saying this so you know why you have to pick where your research comes from VERY carefully.
Are there any sites you trust, or know are shitty?

Not that I am personally aware of, no. Generally speaking though, a rule of thumb is to start with sites linked from queer spaces, then just adopt that as your bias for a while.

Another good rule of thumb is if it makes you go "uh wow that sucks" it is either crap or there are confounding factors (the only example of the latter i know is that queer folks have a WILDLY DISPROPORTIONATE PREVALENCE of personality disorders, addictions and mood disorders, the confounding factor being upbringing in mega hostile environments which is positively correlated with all of those things).
ďI am that worst of all type of criminal...I cannot bring myself to do what you tell me, because you told me

ďEver watch that famous war movie? Thatís how itíll be.Ē
ďWhich one?Ē
ďThe one where everybody dies.Ē
ó Blood Standard, Laird Barron

Remember the fall of Yin Tu.

Exoteric

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Re: Survival tips for a bi guy
« Reply #8 on: March 04, 2021, 11:37:47 pm »
Right, Iíll keep an ear to my gut. Here goes nothing
I havenít been writing for very long, and I want to improve. If any parts of my posts arenít readable, please point them out.

Iím coming off of a bad bout of anxiety, and Iím going to try stepping away from the Internet for a bit and working on my habits. I might come back here if my mental health ever gets more secure, but for now Iím gone. You all take care of yourselves and the people you care about, and keep moving.

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Re: Survival tips for a bi guy
« Reply #9 on: March 19, 2021, 10:33:28 pm »
https://biresource.org/

I know these people, they are good folks and I trust them. The HQ is in the Boston area but they have links to other groups.