Fuck you.

[trix]

Fuck you.

"It's not your fault."

Were you there?  Do you read minds?  Fuck you.

"You can't blame yourself."

Do you make the rules?  Of course I can.  Fuck you.

"You couldn't have known."

But I suspected.  I thought about it, considered it, and did nothing until it was too late.  I couldn't have known, but I could have acted.  Fuck you.

"She wouldn't want you to blame yourself."

You know that for a fact, do you?  Maybe you're right.  Unfortunately, she's dead, and therefore can't forgive me for failing her.  Fuck you.

"You have to move on."

Yeah?  Please give me the instructions to accomplish this.  Where is the fucking map?  Move on to what, anyway?  Fuck you.

"Time heals all wounds."

No, it doesn't.  The one-armed man isn't going to grow that arm back.  Some wounds are too big to heal, time can only teach us to live with them.  Also, I don't want to heal.   I'll pick that scab right off every damn time I catch one forming. Fuck you.

"You're lucky to be alive."

Maybe.  Maybe not.  Yeah, he only succeeded in killing her, and I was "saved" at the last minute, gasping for breath.  Lucky though?  That depends on how I feel about surviving it.  Right now, I don't feel lucky.  My life has become a nightmare.  "Could have been worse" is always true in all cases and not sufficient to feel Lucky.  Fuck you.

"You are a good person."

I know what I am better than you do.  I know everything I've done, as well as my mindset while doing them, and you do not.  You are not qualified to overrule me on this.  Fuck you.

"Life goes on."

Not for her.  Fuck you.

"She loved you."

...and I loved her.  That's the fucking problem.  Fuck you.

"I am here for you / anything you need."

Your obligatory execution of what you think you are supposed to say offends me.  Enrages me.  Makes me hate you.  What I need is a Do Over, but murder and death don't work that way.  In fact, you didn't even *like me* before this, so Fuck you.

"How are you doing?"

I fucking hate this question.  It drips with insincerity and banal pointless ritual.  It forces me to lie to make you comfortable, because the truth is not what you want to know.  Fuck you.

Fuck everyone.

[Faust]

Im struggling for what to say, perhaps nothing is best, but I dont want to leave what you've said unmarked.

This is the phrase we use, everything else is redundant and deminishes. Its formal, but I mean this truly.

I'm sorry for your loss.