LMNO-PI

[Shibboleet The Annihilator]

in a bizzarre display of synchronicity, I was planning on having flaming golf balls part 2 tonight when the town does their incredibly belated 4th of July fireworks display.

it gets better.

they set off the fireworks from a barge anchored about 200 yards offshore.

I can hit a 200 yard drive.

Heh, don't get caught.

[Bob the Mediocre]

,ÄúWhat, you don,Äôt like pizza?,Äù I chuckled. ,ÄúNo, actually, we,Äôre here to get somethi,ÄîFUCK!,Äù  I flinched when a flaming golf ball slammed into the windshield, cracking it, and leaving a fiery trail as it rolled off the hood.  I opened the door, and noticed a figure on the roof with a golf club, a bucket, and a lighter.

Right about here, I started laughing for a minute.

[LMNO]

A minute passed as we at our slices in silence.  Then, checking to make sure there was no one else in the room, Erin leaned in close, and whispered, ,ÄúI thought you said that involving the NSRA was ,Äòlike killing a mosquito with a bazooka,Äô!,Äù

,ÄúHave you seen the size of those bugs out there?  Yeah, we escaped Government Inc this time, but chances are they,Äôll find us again.  And they won,Äôt be as cautious as they were in the garage.,Äù

,ÄúYou call that cautious?,Äù

,ÄúWe,Äôre still here, right?  Look, you have to at least agree that we need a new car, because your vehicle make & model are on the Watch List, now.  Since they haven,Äôt swarmed this place yet, I can only assume that somewhere in the chase, your GPS unit was damaged.,Äù

,ÄúActually, I had it removed.,Äù

,ÄúWhat?  How did,Äî,Äù

Erin laughed.  As she did, I could feel my spirits lighten, like some great weight was temporarily lifted off my back.  The morning sun looked a little brighter, somehow.  Erin said, ,ÄúOh, wow.  The look on your face is priceless!  Come on, now.  If I found you, surely I know something about something.  I like my privacy, and so I found a guy who could remove the GPS unit.,Äù  She raised one finger, cutting off my attempt to interrupt.  ,ÄúI know it,Äôs illegal, and it,Äôs tricky.  The amount I had to pay proves that.,Äù   She looked at me with bemusement.  ,ÄúOh, you think you,Äôre the only one who,Äôs brave enough to go against Government Inc?  I,Äôll have you know that I think everyone, at some point or another, breaks the law to suit their own needs.  Like you were saying about that quantum processor thing at the bar, there,Äôs more information than there are people to look at it.  The law of averages more or less guarantees you,Äôre going to get away with most of it.,Äù

,ÄúWell, color me impressed.  Now I,Äôm even sorrier I had to wreck the car.  I have a feeling Stain,Äôs going to give us a real piece of shit.  He,Äôs kind of an asshole like that.,Äù

A voice emanated from the napkin holder.  ,ÄúI heard that!,Äù

Erin jumped.  ,ÄúWhat the fuck!,Äù

,ÄúThe NSRA is everywhere, pretty girl,,Äù said the napkin holder, ,Äúand you better get used to it.  L, how could you say such terrible things about me?,Äù

,ÄúOh, put a sock in it, Stain,,Äù I said, ,Äúyour biggest self-aggrandizing claim to fame is that you,Äôre the biggest pain in the ass in The City, and yet people still want to talk to you.  I can,Äôt see how you do it.  Sure, you make the best pizza for miles, and you,Äôve got plenty of connections, but still,Ķ,Äù

,ÄúIt,Äôs because I,Äôm one sexy motherfucker.,Äù

Erin snorted a laugh behind her hand, and the napkin holder said, ,Äúyeah, well you just haven,Äôt seen me in action, toots.  Just give me one night, and a bottle of Bushmills, and you,Äôll be singing my praises in the morning.,Äù

,ÄúRight.  Well, you,Äôve got one part right; I,Äôd have to be drunk to consider sleeping with you.,Äù

,ÄúWhatever works, whatever works.  So, L.  Exactly what have you got in trade?  I know you don,Äôt have enough to pay me, and I have a sneaking suspicion your little chippie shouldn,Äôt be using any sort of credit card or anything that can be monitored or tracked.,Äù

,ÄúYeah, you,Äôve got that right,Ķ But I do believe I have something you,Äôd be interested in.  How does a fresh Cop,Äôs Battle Jacket sound?,Äù

,ÄúShit, man!  I,Äôve been dying to have my people reverse engineer one of those!  I,Äôll be right up.,Äù

Erin mouthed the words ,Äúhis people?,Äù at me.  I mouthed back, ,Äúlater.  He,Äôs delusional.,Äù

The napkin holder spoke up.  ,ÄúI can read lips, you know.,Äù

[Malaul]

you NAILED him so well
good job

[LMNO]

::bows::


Hope fluffy won't try & kill me now...

[fluffy]

::plots::

[agent compassion]

10/10!

Good Turd impression, too.                

[fluffy]

i can hardly wait for the roger impression
it'll be a killer

[LMNO]

I am a-feared of trying any sort of Roger impression...

Only because his sense of nuance is difficult.




Oh, and If I do it wrong, i may feel the wrath of Chef.

[Shibboleet The Annihilator]

*applause*

[East Coast Hustle]

dude, that is fucking PRICELESS.

you fucking got me down to a T.

except for one little thing....




I really do have people, you know.

really though, if this doesn't get you a reccommendation from Oprah's book club, I'll have to make space on the wall for Oprah.

might have to build a new wall for that, actually.

[LMNO]

Hey, i know you have people, you know you have people, it's just that the guy in the story doesn't know you have people.

It'll all come out in the wash.  Promise.

[fluffy]

It'll all come out in the wash.

::raises eyebrow::
you are not going to try that again
are you?

[LMNO]

Ha!

[fluffy]

damn it!
you got soap in my eyes!
clumpsy oaf.

::shakes vigorously, spraying sudsy water over all the posters in this
thread and a few in adjacent threads as well::

::storms off in a huff::



::seen reading the acme catalog::








::plots::