REPENT, SINNERS

[Jack Chick]

CHRIST HAS A PLACE FOR YOU, AND IT'S IN HELL

[Ben]

Hell is only reserved for people who believe in it; especially people who believe in it on the basis that they'll go there if they don't.

[Daven]

CHRIST HAS A PLACE FOR YOU, AND IT'S IN HELL

Yeah, lovely god who punishes you for eternity for simply disagreeing with him.  Wonderful forgiving loving god there.  

Fuck off and YOU burn in hell.

[LMNO]

Jack, Wasn't it JC who preached forgiveness?  

I think you mean it's Big Poppa, YHWH, who wants us in his hell.

For he is a Jealous God, especially of your CD collection.  Where'd you get that signed copy of "Islands in the Stream," anyway?

[/o\]

well allright thanks jesus!  

[scorch]

WWJD?

[Great Teacher Largo]

WWJD?

Get nailed to a tree again.

You think the people in power today are any more forgiving or open minded than those who did it the first time 2k years ago?

[Jack Chick]

Hell is only reserved for people who believe in it; especially people who believe in it on the basis that they'll go there if they don't.

I don't remember the verse in the King James Bible that says that.

CHRIST HAS A PLACE FOR YOU, AND IT'S IN HELL

Yeah, lovely god who punishes you for eternity for simply disagreeing with him.  Wonderful forgiving loving god there.  

God is not loving. He's a jerk. And we all really hate him, but he's the one with his finger on the damnation button, so you better wise up, boy.

Jack, Wasn't it JC who preached forgiveness?

To be honest, Jesus only got into heaven because of nepotism, and you know, because he's part of the trinity. If he wasn't the son of God, he'd be burning in hell with all of the other peacenik hippies.  

For he is a Jealous God, especially of your CD collection.  Where'd you get that signed copy of "Islands in the Stream," anyway?

You must be thinking of someone else. I burnt my entire record collection after my conversion, as music, like D&D, Nintendo games, and all other major forms of artistic expression, is witchcraft, and as we speak Beethoven's getting it in the ass from the devil.

[Great Teacher Largo]

Jack Chick, you read the KJV?  You know you're gonna goto hell for reading the translation.

[Jack Chick]

Of course I read the translation, what do I look like, a Jew?

The KJV was dictated by God himself to the translators. This was back when England was holy and stuck it to the Intergalactic Catholic Conspiracy and didn't have the sinful Anglican church to give their archbishops tutus and to tell them to make God cry with other men.

If God had wanted me to speak Aramaic he would have made me be born as a moon-worshipping raghead.

[LMNO]

Ok, I have to say, this version of Jack Chick isn't cutting it.

[/o\]

well promising me a place in hell was pretty kind.

[agent compassion]

CHRIST HAS A PLACE FOR YOU, AND IT'S IN HELL

I know! Shall I save you a seat?

 

[LMNO]

Hey, didn't Pat Benetar say that "hell is for children"?


Yeahm, i think she did.  Look:

Hell is for Children.

So, I'm safe, at least.

Now, where were we?  Skinning babies alive?

[DJRubberducky]

Yes, but only Muslim babies.  And eating them afterward.  According to the Crusades, that's okay, as long as we baptize them to save their souls first.