its all about the journey?

[Horab Fibslager]

What's up with the griuchy d00d in your avatar

That's him.

yes puzzlign why when i had thought i had set the aut timer deal thingambobber on my cmaera it took a picture.

adn that's my uh strong silent type face of utter concentration!!!!

[Demonica, Oracle of Doom]

It's a very cool picture!

[fluffy]

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table.

A very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet $20,000 on a single roll
of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when
I'm completely nude." With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice
and yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"

As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed..."YES!

YES! I WON, I WON!" She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up
her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.

The dealers stared at each other dumfounded. Finally, one of them asked,

"What did she roll?"

The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."


MORAL:

Not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men.

[Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy]

Back to the journey thingy.

The path is the goal

The journey is the goal.  But it is not a marathon.  You do not need to run your ass off.  You can sit and watch.  You can stop and smell the roses.  You can wander off the path to look at everything from a different perspective.  There also is not any one way to do it.  The most well rounded, contented people, not the ones who just look like that on the surface, are those who study things from many angles, disciplines, etc.  If you look around this forum, I don't think anyone has studied just Discordianism or whatever we are calling ourselves this week.  It seems like an unusually large number of us have studied Zen.  Many of us were brought up in some sort of Christian type system thingy.  Mybe it is time to look at things from a different perspective for a bit, anyway.

You remind me of the Hermit in my fav tarot deck.  He is not really alone.  He wandered off alone, but someone else has walked this path, there are already footprints.  He has a lantern, so he can see if he opens his eyes.  He is at the top, so everything is downhill from here, it is easier to walk downhill.  The orouborous reminds us of the cycles of life.  

You are not alone, we have all been there, there is a light, you are at the worst point, it will get better.

Back to the joke thingy  

Knock, knock?
Who's there?
Banana!
Banana who?

Knock, knock?
Who's there?
Banana!
Banana who?

Knock, knock?
Who's there?
Banana!
Banana who?

Knock, knock?
Who's there?
Banana!
Banana who?

Knock, knock?
Who's there?
Banana!
Banana who?

Knock, knock?
Who's there?
Banana!
Banana who?

Knock, knock?
Who's there?
Banana!
Banana who?

Knock, knock?
Who's there?
Banana!
Banana who?

Knock, knock?
Who's there?
Banana!
Banana who?

Knock, knock?
Who's there?
Orange!
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana

[Horab Fibslager]

the sage sat down and ordered a beer.
the waitress asked hte sage.
"you liked tired"
the sage replied "yeah i jsut walked across the world"
"wow that's far, did you see anything cool?"
"there i sno journey anywhere. say is this place serve yoruself?"

[Demonica, Oracle of Doom]

This guy goes into the bar and sees his friend there( whom never drinks). He says to the guy" what's the matter" the guy says "well I just caught my wife in bed with my best friend"

The friend says "that's awful. let me buy you a drink and you can tell me all about it. where's your wife?" "I threw her out!" " well what did you do to your best friend?"

I grabbed him by the throat and shook him real hard and said "BAD DOG! BAD DOG! "

[Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy]

Two women are new arrivals at the pearly gates and are comparing
stories on how they died.

1st woman:    I froze to death.

2nd woman:    How horrible!

1st woman:    It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold,
I  began to get warm and sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death.
What about you?

2nd woman:    I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my
husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act.
But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

1st woman:    So what happened?

2nd woman:    I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere
that I  started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the
attic and  searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through
every  closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I
had looked  everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just
keeled over with a heart attack and died!

1st woman:   Too bad you didn't look in the freezer. We'd both
still be  alive.

[Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy]

Twelve priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them
to line up in a straight row, totally nude in a garden.

While at this position, a sexy, beautiful and big breasted nude model
danced before them.

Each priest had a small bell attached to his penis and they were told
that anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would not
be ordained, because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity.

The beautiful model danced before the first candidate with no
reaction.

She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the
priests
until she got to the final priest (Carlos).

As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off and
fell clattering to the ground.

Embarrassed, Carlos took a few steps forward and bent over to pick up
the bell.

Then, all the other bells started to ring.

[Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy]

A woman takes a lover home during the day while her
husband is at work.

Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them
and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.

The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her
lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy
is in there already.

The  little boy says, "Dark in here."

The man says, "Yes, it is."

Boy - "I  have a baseball."

Man - "That's nice."

Boy - "Want to buy it?"

Man -  "No, thanks."

Boy - "My dad's outside."

Man - "OK, how much?"

Boy -  "$250"


In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy
and the  lover are in the closet together.

Boy - "Dark in here."

Man - "Yes,  it is."

Boy - "I have a baseball glove."

The lover, remembering the last  time, asks the boy,
"How much?"

Boy - "$750"

Man - "Sold."

A few  days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab
your glove, let's go outside and  have a game of
catch.

The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my
glove."

The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"

Boy -"$1,000."

The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your
friends like that..that is way more than those two
things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make
you confess."

They go to the church and the father makes  the little
boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the
door.

The boy says, "Dark in here."

The priest says, "Don't start that shit again, you're
in my closet now"

[CORNHOLIO]

d00d, like I'm sorry you're sad and stuff, but I gotta joke, heh, heh, heh,

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back

A STICK, heh, HEHEHE, heh, get it, heh, astick, heh,

Hope you feel better, life sucks, but there's still good stuff and everything, like my jokes, hehe, HEHEHE, heh, later d00d, cheer up, here's a smile for you, heh, HEHEH, heh

[B_M_W]

Eldora, those are two of the best jokes I have heard in a long time.

Got any more?  

~BMW

[Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy]

Eldora, those are two of the best jokes I have heard in a long time.

Got any more?  

~BMW

Yes I do, tons, I'll go through my email tomorrow.  The really funny part is, all the Catholic jokes I get are from a friend of mine who is Catholic  

[Zurtok Khan]

Dude, you need to join my new Cabal, it's the "Thirty Seconds before Something Happens, or not Cabal"  Instead of focusing on what's about to happen, we feel it's much funner to be in the 30 seconds before something happens, when the adrenaline is rushing, and you feel like you want to puke a mac truck.

And, here's a joke for you:

What did the Leper say to the Prostitue?






























You can keep the tip.

[Guest]

A man rushed into a bar and ordered a double martini. The man downed it with one swallow, put a five dollar bill on the bar, and turned and rushed out of the bar. The bartender picked up the five dollar bill, and folded it carefully and tucked it in his vest pocket. Just at that moment he looked up at the boss standing in the doorway staring at him. Doing a bit of fast thinking he said, "Hi boss, did you see that fellow just now? Came in here, bought a double martini, gave me a five dollar tip, and rushed out without paying."


Did that help at all?
Don't make me break into song to cheer you up, dude.
There is very little in life more horrific than a wicked killer clown tapdancing and singing "Tomorrow"

[LMNO]

As exploiter of the clowntrodden, it is my duty to encourage you to do just that.