Mental Masterbation

[Zurtok Khan]

I'm too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don't know.
-Garry Shandling


Please, I'd like you all to gather around.  TOUCH MY MENTAL PENIS.

Ahh, yes...yes....YES...just like that...ohh...

Ahem, excuse me...where was I?  Ohh yes, thats right...*ziiiiiiiip*

I suppose it's all to be expected, really.  No one is suprised when someone comes around flaunting their skills and talents and expects to be complimented.  And, thats where my first few attempts at a rant went wrong.

Of course, I still enjoy being stroked, as it were.  Who doesn't?  But, I it's getting old.  The empty compliments, "Ohh that was quite nice!" while silently wondering what the fuck I meant grow old.  Of course, in the end this refers more to my poetry, less and less of which I post online.  

Thats one of the things I'd like to thank you all for.  You don't give me empty praise.  You don't say it unless you mean it, so far as I can tell.  And you'll-be-damned if anyone else cares, cause there was something about it you liked.  Or, at least thats what I hope.

When you try to please everyone else, you never end up pleasing yourself.  I'm pleasing myself now.  It feels...better.  (No, I am NOT masterbaiting at the moment, I need both hands to type atm).

So, there it is.  There you have it.  There I go.

[damage control]

I don't think it's good to start something without having a reason for doing it. Which is why my reason for doing most things is because I have no choice but to do them or I wouldn't have done it.

Of course then someone else will come along and do what they do. If I grasp the concept of it, then it really makes things painfully obvious for what they are. Painfully obvious is what most folks will try to avoid, I'm thinking lately I'm just like eveybody else in that respect. Pain works in mysterious ways and the truth hurts, it might set you free but first it will piss you off.

Being myself and what else can I be? Maybe I try to be just like other people but then it's still me being like other people, and who were they being like?

- damage control.