Author Topic: The PD.Com Boards Have Gone To Hell!!!  (Read 22427 times)

gnimbley

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The PD.Com Boards Have Gone To Hell!!!
« on: July 16, 2005, 12:04:35 am »
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha

How many times have you seen this headline? The boards suck. They
have gone to hell. They are boring. Yada yada yada.

And so what's your point?

What did you expect from the boards anyway? That they would conform
to your world view? That they would somehow, magically be full of only
the stuff that you are interested in? That they are here to entertain you?

Get real.

This is public web space, with no barrier of entry and minimal policing,
that exists in honor of a text glorifying the humorous, absurd and
unexpected, whose participants boast of being practical jokers and non-
conformists, and whose guiding principle is...

Are you ready for it?

...CHAOS.

That's right. These here forums are about chaos, the randomization of
matter in the universe, the constant bumping and banging of particle
against particle in no prearranged sequence, the underlying anti-
hierarchy of everything where nothing is better or worse than anything
else, where everything is where it is just because it is where it is.

What? You thought there were rules?

Apparently you do, because whenever you run off and start another
forum somewhere else the first thing you do is impose rules. And that's
fine. You can have all the rules you want and impose them to your
heart's content...

...somewhere else.

And the really funny thing? You get all bent out of shape and angry and
self-righteous - yes I am talking to you Turd and you Roger and you Taco
and the rest of you - whenever the posts in these forums don't comply
with whatever set of rules you have in your heads about what the correct
order of the universe should be.

As if you could impose order upon chaos.

Let me repeat myself.

Get real.

Somehow you think you should be accorded respect. That everyone
should agree with your view of things. That we should join you in
whatever crusade you are on to impose your will on the rest of us. That
somehow chaos is a malleable material that you can mold into whatever
shape you desire. That people should kiss your ass.

As fluffy would say, "pphhffffffftttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!"

Please show me the line in your contract which says we have to do
anything you say.



Welcome to the real world.

That's right. The real world. Not the artificial playground you are used to
on the internet, where everything is designed for you by some web
magician and you are constantly entertained by the amusing antics of a
stream of html. The real world. Where a bunch of independently
motivated sentient (or not) beings do whatever the hell they please
regardless of what you think they should do.

Like when you walk into a bank to withdraw a hundred dollars from your
account and there is a guy in there with a gun who points it at your head
and says get on the floor or die, bitch. Are you going to tell him that he
isn't giving you the proper respect?

Or when the government sends its agents to your place of business and
carries off all your accounting records and binds your wrists behind your
back and says come with me. Are you going to tell them that you don't
want to play in their sandbox anymore and go home?

Or when your girlfriend says that you don't respect her anymore and you
can take your fucking emo act and get the hell out of her life and then
proceeds to throw all your crap into the street. Are you going to say,
does this mean you and I aren't going to fuck anymore?

Or when your kid says that he's been banging this old guy down at the
club and he thinks he's contracted aids but its alright because
everybody's got aids these days and the people down at the clinic say
that a cure is just around the corner but he's going to need a lot more
money for the drugs and if you can't come up with it maybe he will just
have to start charging the old farts more for the blowjobs. Are you going
to demand that he shut the fuck up because you don't permit that kind of
talk in your house?

So, you come home from school or work, all tired from all the shit you
have to take from the other kids and you want to escape to your nice
fantasy world on the internet and suddenly you discover that it's been
invaded by the real world where people post stuff you don't want to hear
and do stuff you don't want them to do and you don't get your own way.

What do you do in the real world? Go to your room and pout? Harass
other people until they no longer want to have anything to do with you?
Get even? Make enemies of former friends? Post shit all over the
internet?

Yeah, you're mature.



And to all you people who think these boards are all fluff and joking
around and it doesn't matter what you say, because it's just the internet
anyway. Let me ask you one question.

Who is the most powerful person in the world?

Some of you are thinking George W or Putin or even bin Laden because
they have bombs and armies and such at their disposal. They can bust a
lot of stuff up and throw you into prisons. Yeah, they have a lot of power,
but that sign in Haldeman's office was dead wrong. Remember that sign?
"When you have them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow."
That was bullshit. Because when you have them by the balls, you may be
able to control the outer manifestation of their minds, but you will never
earn their hearts.

Some would say the Pope or the fundie preachers or the Islamic Imans.
But they are only trying to impose an arbitrary structure over human
activities, trying to control people by turning off their minds and
substituting ritual for reality. People follow them blindly, but not
voluntarily. Religious leaders don't change anything. They spend their
time desperately trying to keep things from changing. But as we know,
things always change.

Some of you would say Eris, but as we all know, Eris doesn't exist. That's
just an arbitrary label you stick on something you believe in.

So who is the most powerful person in the world?

First, let me tell you that a technological revolution is coming. We are
learning to modify DNA. Someday we will know how to modify human
DNA and remanufacture ourselves.

Computer technology keeps getting more sophisticated and more
powerful, on a seemingly exponential curve. Someday we will be build
computers with substantially more computing capacity than the human
brain.

Nanotechnology, the science of molecular scale engineering, is in its
infancy, but already proofs of concept of the basic building blocks of
nanomachines have been demonstrated in laboratory experiments.

And experiments in human/computer interface have been going on for
decades.

What does this mean? Eventually humans are going to merge with
machines, both literally through physical connections and biologically
through DNA modification.

Bet on it.

Oh, sure, the fundies will want to stop it, but they will fail. There is too
much momentum. It is too decentralized. It is interwoven into the fabric
of the scientific community.

Scientists are referring to the result as "trans-human" or even "post-
human". The most optimistic of them think it will arrive in the next 20 to
30 years. The pessimists think it will take a century.

But it is coming.

And it will change everything.

It will be a more complete change than even Turd in his wildest NRSA
fantasies can imagine.

Some of the scientists talk about a singularity. A point in time when
things change and it is impossible to see what is on the other side. Kind
of like the Big Bang or a black hole.

And guess who will be responsible for this.

Guess who will be in charge.

Kids.

The people who will be responsible for making this work are, today, kids.
They are the ones who will be doing the research ten years from now,
running the laboratories thirty years from now; they will be the ones to
change first; they will be the first to go trans-human.

And who do the kids listen to? Who has the most influence over their
minds today, right now, this minute?

Who is the most powerful person in the world?

Harry Potter.

Don't laugh. If you don't think that those books aren't going to be a
dominant influence on the minds of that generation, you obviously were a
zombie when you grew up.

And in part, I say Harry and not the author, because it is the character,
and what the character does, not the "lessons" that Rawlings (if she even
has lessons in mind) tried to instill in the kids, that influences the kids.

Who are your heroes? Who do you emulate?

Now Harry, of course, is going to try and instill the dominant paradigm on
the kids. What do you expect? Rawlings was a struggling single mother,
barely making it through life, and now she is richer than the Queen. Of
course she thinks this is a pretty good system. Look at what it did for her.

But for each Rawlings, there are thousands who the system grinds down
and defeats. You know that.

So what are you going to do about it?

Well, where are all these kids going to hang out? Clubs, school,
playgrounds, church socials, etc. Sure. But they are also going to hang
out...

...here. The internet.

This is where they come when they need more stimulation than they can
get in their own environment. Why did you come here?

The kids, the smart ones, the ones who are going to make a difference,
they are going to come to the internet, look at all the shiney, sparkley
things and...

...some of them are going to discover...

Are you ready for it?

...discordianism.

Yup. Some of them are going to end up here. Maybe for a minute. Maybe
they will read a couple of posts. Maybe they will make a couple of posts.
Maybe they will stay around and make a few friends and have a few
laughs.

Maybe.

But on that possibility we have an opportunity.

The opportunity to read one of Hugh's rants. The opportunity to read one
of Vertaine's epistles. The opportunity to read one of Roger's sermons.
The opportunity to read something you write. The opportunity to make
some friends and exchange some views and learn.

Which means we have the opportunity to influence the trans-humans.

Now, I am not saying we have to post tons of serious stuff. Who the hell
in their right minds wants to read just serious stuff? If they want to just
read just serious stuff, they sure as hell aren't coming here.

But we do have the opportunity to influence some. Give them a push in
the right direction. Tell them that what the world needs is not bigger and
better bombs, more jihads and politics as usual. What the world needs
is...

Fill in the blank.

But, you say, the internet is full of billions of documents, whole universes
of noise. What is the chance that anything I write is going to be
meaningful? Well, what is the chance that something you don't write will
be meaningful? Besides, you have been exposed to lots of noise in your
life, but some things stand out. Some things influence you. There is
always a chance.

And what is the chance that they will come to PrincipiaDiscordia.com?
Well, this is the main site. This is the one everybody links to. Even those
who have gone off and started their own sites end up back here. As trolls
if nothing else.

Let me also point out that you are more likely to be influenced by
something a friend says, than by something said by a contentious
asshole. If you want to influence the kids, you are going to have to
befriend them. Or at least, not drive them off. If you want your web site,
regardless of where it is, to be a breeding ground for discordian thinking,
you have to think of it as a community that welcomes n00bs, not as an
exclusive social club for "true discordians" or whatever you are calling
your clique.

If you are going to be an influence to the next stage of mankind's
evolution, do you stand a better chance by being a friend or by being an
asshole?

And there is no quicker way to label yourself as an asshole than to go
around calling other people assholes.

Which brings me full circle, I guess.

I didn't really set off to write all this. It's just some stuff I have had
banging around in my head. And I dumped it all out into the word
processor and now on you. So take it for what it is worth. Maybe it is self-
contradictory, but HEY! who ever said discordians were supposed to
make sense.

Besides, as fluffy says, gnomes are full of shit.

agent compassion

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« Reply #1 on: July 16, 2005, 12:11:52 am »
::bows::

If that was shit.....then that was some damn good shit, gnimbley.

::hands gnimbley a Sword of Ultimate Pwnage::

'I'll take you out for a meal with Mr. and Mrs. Pain, order up some violent quiche. Do you want some?' - ++++++ Moon


Zurtok Khan

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« Reply #2 on: July 16, 2005, 12:38:12 am »
Bravo, Gnome!

*hugs Gnimbly*

Fuck, dude, look at what you did to my shoe!

At least you're not so full of shit now.

But...seriously, that was one awesome rant.  And, I don't think gnomes are full of shit, I think they're full of pie and cookies.  You know what I'm talking about.  Yes, yes you do.

Hahahahahaha
Resistance is Fertile.

Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
-Mark Twain

I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.
-Mark Twain

Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy

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« Reply #3 on: July 16, 2005, 12:40:45 am »
I was going to say a bunch of things, funny things, sarcastic things.  But by the time I got tp the end, they just didn't matter.  Thank you for putting a different spin, I think you put things in perspective, for me at least.

Drunken Monkey Cabal

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« Reply #4 on: July 16, 2005, 12:43:35 am »
you couldnt have made it shorter?  :(

Iron Sulfide

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« Reply #5 on: July 16, 2005, 12:56:39 am »
i gnow that the gnomes gnow.

i don't think 'transhumanism' is necessarily the next step, perhaps something in line with that though.

and i can't say i agree with everything you say there gnimbly,
but then, that's always been the point.

rock for the little people, rock on wit yo bad self

(BTW, i think i classify as one of those kids you speak of. Few of you
prolly know this, but i'm only 19. well, 20 in aboot a month. but still, that's
reasonably young.)
Ya' stupid Yank.

Shibboleet The Annihilator

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« Reply #6 on: July 16, 2005, 01:27:11 am »
HOLY KICK ASS POST BATMAN!



RAH! KICK ASS INDEED ROBIN!


P.S. When I came here (which was not too long ago) I felt pretty welcome

BADGE OF HONOR

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« Reply #7 on: July 16, 2005, 01:57:47 am »
That was a lot more articulate than, "Man...can't we all just get along?"

Very articulate, indeed.
The Jerk On Bike rolled his eyes and tossed the waffle back over his shoulder--before it struck the ground, a stout, disconcertingly monkey-like dog sprang into the air and snatched it, and began to masticate it--literally--for the sound it made was like a homonculus squatting on the floor muttering "masticate masticate masticate".

Zurtok Khan

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« Reply #8 on: July 16, 2005, 02:05:33 am »
Quote from: N'yo B?, Terrorist Zenja
i gnow that the gnomes gnow.

i don't think 'transhumanism' is necessarily the next step, perhaps something in line with that though.

and i can't say i agree with everything you say there gnimbly,
but then, that's always been the point.

rock for the little people, rock on wit yo bad self

(BTW, i think i classify as one of those kids you speak of. Few of you
prolly know this, but i'm only 19. well, 20 in aboot a month. but still, that's
reasonably young.)


I'm only 19, too, and a few months younger then you by the sounds of it.  Of course, I plan to revolutionize the field of Anthropology/Archeology, so I don't think I'm going to become a transhuman or anything like that.
Resistance is Fertile.

Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
-Mark Twain

I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.
-Mark Twain

Bob the Mediocre

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« Reply #9 on: July 16, 2005, 02:10:24 am »
Whether it's "hear hear" or "here here" it sounds the same, so I'll say it either way. And every once in a while, long posts are worthwhile, DiL
"we are building a religion
we are making a brand
we're the only ones to turn to when your castles turn to sand
take a bite of this apple
mister corporate events
take a walk through the jungle
of cardboard shanties and tents
some people drink pepsi
some people drink coke
the wacky morning dj says democracy's a joke
he says now do you believe in the one big song
he is now accepting callers who would like to sing along"


I AM A COMPLETE AND UTTER FUCKING IDIOT!

Drunken Monkey Cabal

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« Reply #10 on: July 16, 2005, 02:42:01 am »
but my simple mind cannot cope with anything long which doesnt not involve explosions or global terrorism or communism

w00t tom clancy novels.lmao

Buddha's Ghost Penis

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« Reply #11 on: July 16, 2005, 03:08:58 am »
Quote from: Altoid Addict
Whether it's "hear hear" or "here here" it sounds the same, so I'll say it either way. And every once in a while, long posts  THAT HAVE SOMETHIGN WORTHWHILE TO SAY are worthwhile, DiL


BUDDHA'S GHOST PENIS HAS FIXED THAT FOR YOU!
WHY DID YOU BAN ME!?!?!

Slarti

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« Reply #12 on: July 16, 2005, 03:47:03 am »
i felt like i was getting lectured by a gnome, that it was directed towards me. very very good stuff gnimbley, and thanks.

Guido Finucci

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« Reply #13 on: July 16, 2005, 02:25:17 pm »
Hey Gnome.

Are you drunk?

Guido Finucci

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« Reply #14 on: July 16, 2005, 02:26:02 pm »
Oh...


Wait...


Were you drunk?