Words and Symbols!!!!

[Iron Sulfide]

i'm a bit of a loss as to put this into The Literate Chaotic, or Or Kill Me.

For reasons beyond my Divining, i've chosen Or Kill Me.

This is a meditation. i'm posting it because the act of writing/typing is
a sort of meditation to me. it clears my mind. it may tie into me using my
fingers idley from using my fingers so much doing other things: playing
instruments, smoking, et cetera et cetera. and when i stop moving my fingers, they become stiff with stiflement, so i fidget and break consentration on whatever it is that i intend to be consentrating on. that is why i am writing now, to clear my mind.

but why i am posting, however, is infinitely more simple. i'm only posting in the event that this may prove useful to (a)myself or (b) someone else. it might catch a thought in someone's mind. stick out, spin around, shoot up. something. it might spark a fire in someone, or extinguish it. it might frustrate or inspire or confuse or anything. better yet, it may do nothing, and then no one would ever have to go this particular route with these words ever again. that would be spectacular in it's ability to be just one thing. perfect and never in need to be something else or to be replicated.

you know, that's what perfection is right? i can hear it now, on the other side of the monitor, ooooh, perfection, eh? he's going to tell me what perfection is, right? Fuck off! but listen: if words are naught but ideas and concepts hinted at by a symbol, then doesn't the symbol point to something else? we look to the Word, as though it were a Truth. (by word is meant language in general.) There is no Truth, though in TRUTH, nor in the strings of T-R-U-T-H.

this is a concept: vibration to describe. you convey a sense of what is being described by the sound of the word. it vibrates and modulates, it is fluidic and harsh, gutteral gurggles.

fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuk.

fffffffffff- building anticipation, a sizzling hiss, like the sound of water springing out through cracks of a dam slowly being open.

then the transistional sound is similar to more water rushing, as we move into:

uuuuuuuuuuuuu- the core vowel sound of the word-symbol. say it and pay attention to the details. a long uuugh is what it sounds like. where does it vibrate? your diaphragm? you're chest? throat? nasal cavities? (go ahead, try it now, i'll wait.)

the area vibrating has a lot to do with what's being described. 'uuuugh', lot
of vibration in the chest, a lot of duress and motion in the chest. if you repeat and prolong that vowel sound over and over, long enough, one sounding of the vowel being dragged out through the whole breath, you will understand more the effects of that vowel sound and what it illustrates. panting, breathing. oxygen supply int your viens. response time. tactile sensitivity in that area.

all followed in full speed with an abrupt halt in the palatal "K".

this word is typically considered to be a vulgar word by people who consider lustful sex bad or improper. hence, this word is associated with passionate, lustful sex. Fuck.

it is not the only word. break words apart and analyze them. to break the word down, repeat a very common semantic game (you probably did this as a kid, when you fist started playing in the semantics games...)

pick a word or phrase. a simple one works best. say it aloud (do it alone in a room or out somewhere in nature if you're self conscious..) say it again. repeat this over, and over, and over, and over. methodically, but steady and automatic. get a good rhythm for saying the word or phrase. fall into that rhythm.

do this until the word you are saying sounds like pure gibberish.

when it sounds like pure gibberish, this is so because the symbolism of words (at least these words) has been broken and you hear only the sounds, not the ideas associated with them. explore this realm of desymbolization as well as you can. now, still saying the word or phrase, maybe out of momentum by now, or maybe you must work at it, but now...listen to the sounds. what particular sounds do they make? are there patterns? are there sound types that seem to pair up, recure often, dominate? if you follow it linearly, does it seem tomap the idea out?

no, you say? well, it was worth a try. but the sensation of desymbolizing a word or phrase is interesting enough.

**********

on a related note, as i draw my 20 minutes of meditation to a close, i would like to say that i've been playiung a lot lately with perceptual experiments. such as this one. there's an awesome book you can peruse at B&N called Ashtonish Yourself! 101 experiments in the philosophy of every day life!

very useful.

but i was wondering if anyone else has any mapped out experiments in subjective perception that can be tested for the individual?

there's also a lot of them in Prometheus Rising, the link to which i posted in The Library.

i have to eat now.