Attention, N00bs: You might want to read this.

[AFK]

My guess is that it is bothering the living fuck out of Mr. Uncle BadTouch to be considered a n00b.  Just like Bogus Magus, because of some sense of seniority or importance in the Discordian underworld, there is an expectation of reverence where ere he may roam.  Doesn't work that way here buddy.  You've gotta go through the same gauntlet everyone else goes through. 

[BADGE OF HONOR]

Oh oh, I done bad.  Shall I sent you a contrite PM?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I just got here in November, and I, having existed previously in Western Civilization from birth all the way to creating an account on this forum in 2007, knew exactly what a n00b is. For fuck's sake, my MOM knows what a n00b is. Astonishingly neither PD.com nor even 4Chan invented the term "newbie" nor the derivatives "newb", "noob", and "n00b", and they have all been in common usage everywhere on the internet since the veriest beginning. Merriam-Websters dates the documented practice of calling "new guys" "newbies" to 1970.

If someone shows up and CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT, or perhaps CHOOSES NOT TO READ AND LEARN, maybe this isn't going to be a very satisfying place for them to spend time. There are lots of forums that have rules about being nice, and spoonfeed everything to their users.

As a N00bs (whatever that is, I'm guessing I'm one because I was called one by two or more people), I have a suggestion.  Those of you who have been here for a long time have been here a long time.  Sounds self-evident, no?  Just like it's evident you principiadiscordia.com oldtimers (who are distinct but knowing individuals, I'm sure) know what N00bs be.

But who's the least likely person to know what N00b means?  A N00b!

Perhaps you might want to think about having the post clearly identify what a N00b is, and also make it clear where a N00b can find the advice on what a N00b should and should not do.  That way, maybe someone won't get flamed on their first post here, not knowing they're breaking rule 537 of the N00bian Handbook.

Of course I realize it's traditional for governments to punish their citizens for laws the citizens never heard of.  It's easier to keep people in line that way.  And I also realize that Discordians try to make as many laws as possible, because after all imposition of order = escalation of disorder.  It's the Second Law of Thermowhatzits, or something.

Thank you for letting me have my say.

Reverend "N00bian" Uncle BadTouch

[Verbal Mike]

It occurs to me this place is like quicksand. You step in, get muddy, and if you struggle you never see the end of it.

[Cainad (dec.)]

It occurs to me this place is like quicksand. You step in, get muddy, and if you struggle you never see the end of it.

PD.com: eXtreme Zen

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

It occurs to me this place is like quicksand. You step in, get muddy, and if you struggle you never see the end of it.

PD.com: eXtreme Zen

[Daruko]

It occurs to me this place is like quicksand. You step in, get muddy, and if you struggle you never see the end of it.

PD.com: eXtreme Zen

oh now you see it

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

My guess is that it is bothering the living fuck out of Mr. Uncle BadTouch to be considered a n00b.  Just like Bogus Magus, because of some sense of seniority or importance in the Discordian underworld, there is an expectation of reverence where ere he may roam.  Doesn't work that way here buddy.  You've gotta go through the same gauntlet everyone else goes through. 

no shit.
i mean i've seen the name Uncle BadTouch tossed around here and there quite infrequently, but enough for me to remember. (since i seem to only remember unimportant useless shit).

i mean, it would be the same thing as me going to Suu's house and sayin "i'm a makin you a quilt bitch, like it or not! i'm here!". just because the two of us can sew and we're in the same "location" doesn't mean either one of us is any more important or "senior" than the other (although i would never attempt the shit that that girl has fashioned. evar. HOOOOOOOO!)

but it seems the same idea to me. even if i'm the only one who gets it.

just because you think you know something about the "purpose or meaning" of a board doesn't mean you know a damn thing about the people who inhabit or post there.

so...


suck it Uncle BadTouch?

Squiddy- still has nothin. DAMN!

[Raphaella]

I would take that quilt bitch! I sew but I don't quilt, I have never tried, but my boyfriend's family, they LOVE quilting. I mean, to them it's an ever evolving art.

Insofar as the Uncle BadTouch is concerned, perhaps we should evoke the old 50 post rule. The post about the n00b thing was... fun, but the Uncle BadTouch is no doomless Jelly. 

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

well all i have to say is.


i've been drinking, it's no excuse for my behavior and              and     


i like quilts and cake.

who's this Uncle BadTouch guy?
(obviously kidding again. i still don't care)

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Really, the only reason I am here is that I like seeing my Pope name in a forum.  Otherwise, what is the point?  I'm not going to learn anything more about Discoridianism from anyone here.  I can see I might learn more about grilled cheese sandwiches or RPG games, but I had enough of that when I used to work for Gary Gygax.  It's not that I'm saying I know it all, or that no one here knows anything about the subject, but thats not the way it works.  I'll drop in once in a while and see how you are all doing at it and maybe if I have something useful to do here, I'll do it.  We shall see. 

Name dropping:  Great for when you have nothing to add.

[Ari]

First post, first impression; let's take this head on right? Or left? Sometimes I confuse myself too much to actually get anything done properly.
My brain is already young but I am still old enough not to remember when it all started. Maybe I was just too stoned for too many years: or not stoned enough? Although it's probably a good thing that I didn't get stoned (yet)...
So I will bring you an interesting perspective on things every now and then: use it for target practice and refine your own line of thought. Or just settle for one of the two. =)

Anyhow, I've just arrived with my ship full of shiny stuff and I really feel like having a hot bath, a cold ale and a feisty wench. Preferably all together.

[Cramulus]

Hi planeswalker! Welcome to PD.

For quick lulz, check out the PICS thread, in Apple Talk

For awesome pranks, mindfucks, and projects, check out Operation: Mindfuck, which was hidden to you until you registered.

-------don't miss the GASM Subforum, where we're brewing a few awesome projects. Participation is welcomed.

Also, for some other "new material" we're creating, check out the Black Iron Prison, an ongoing project.

[Ari]

I have been very interested in operations of a mindfucking nature for long years.
While my PD was getting dusty in the shelf I stumbled across "the strange times" and it somehow led me to the BIP.
Looking forward to inspiring ideas and inspiring ideas on the op:m-front and checking out some more what gasm and lollercaust are about.

[Cramulus]

I have been very interested in operations of a mindfucking nature for long years.
While my PD was getting dusty in the shelf I stumbled across "the strange times" and it somehow led me to the BIP.
Looking forward to inspiring ideas and inspiring ideas on the op:m-front and checking out some more what gasm and lollercaust are about.

You, my friend, just made my day.