Into The Night With Enrico And So-Called Friends

[Enrico Salazar]

Enrico has ridden bare-back many many times, if that is what you mean.

[Shecky D. Albino]

Being so goddamn candid makes you tough to zing, broseph.

That's what I love about ya!

HEY OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

[Enrico Salazar]

Hehehehe, you know what Enrico loves about you?

[Shecky D. Albino]

Pierced genitalia?

[Enrico Salazar]

You got it, cupcake.

Enrico has been meaning to ask you, whatever became of Big Bruce, your 'legal guardian' when Enrico first met you?  He was the one who tattooed LOVE and HATE on your fingers, is he not?

[Shecky D. Albino]

Um.  Actually Big Bruce is the nickname for my johnson.  Remember.  You thought of it.

You feeling okay?

[Enrico Salazar]

No.

Enrico is feeling woozy.   Must be that damn parrot.  Perhaps you wouldn't mind jumping into Enrico's white van and picking up some Pepto, a quart of Stolichnaya vodka, some Slim Jims and the new issue of Celebrity Skin?

Thank you.  Go.

(turns to audience of one)

Is good to have a sidekick.

Don't go away.  We will be back after these messages from the sponsors.

[LMNO]

I SAID I NEED A FUCKING DRINK, GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKER!  WHERE'S MY FUCKING DRINK!?

[Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy]

Butch:Where's my fucking drink?
Now, you've done it, the bird is picking up bad language as well as a drinking habit  

[Enrico Salazar]

(opens other heel and produces yet another flask)

Here, slut.

Enrico will be back.

[LMNO]

::sluuurp::

[Toots]

Are you a celebrity who is feeling opressed by the constant flash of paparazzi cameras? Do you long for the days when you could make sweet love to your goat with impunity? Did you just wake up from a GHB rampage in a piss-filled car and would like to capture this special moment?

Then call the Tootsie Celebrity Scum Photography Studio!!
See above for some of the finest examples of our work.

We can do the same for you!

[Cain]

BREAKING NEWS HEADLINE

A statement has been made by the Discordian Tequilahadeen and has just come off the Reteurs News Agency:

We have taken the American imperialist puppet "Barbie" hostage and will force her to drink this bottle of Jose Cuervo, at gunpoint, unless our demands are met.  That is all we have to say at this time.



More on this breaking story as we get it.

[Zurtok Khan]

Enrico, you glorious faggot, why have you not invited me to come speak on your show again?

I am very displeased with you, so I will now reveal your dirty little secret to the world!

Enrico is the leader of Discordian Tequilahadeen!

[Cain]

Spiritual Leader, Guru and Sacraficial Lamb in Case of Bad Things, lets be accurate.

We all know its Fnordiscordia who is the power behind the lavish and ever so slightly tasteless throne.  I just like to make things go BOOM, so they gave me some silly title like Chief of Operations or something to get me out of the way.