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Topics - Suu

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I just told my dad I have $1000 down that more people are concerned about inflation than human rights. This is what both of my parents told me:

"Look we don't like the GOP but if we can get prices under control then we can focus on things like rights next election."

Cool. On that note, we're about to witness the last free election of this version of our nation before Germany bombs us into the 21st Century, so I've started the process of emigrating to New Zealand.

Apple Talk / How to Survive Camping
« on: October 20, 2022, 01:45:50 pm »
This is a series of creepyposts on Reddit that's a few years old, but it's pretty much what it's like camping in Rhode Island over the summer or just Tucson on a Tuesday. The bottom of the post links to the next one. 100% worth the read.

Or Kill Me / Who takes care of the caretaker?
« on: September 07, 2022, 03:27:10 pm »
I was warned.

Oh, I was warned.

I was going to get a maximum of 3 months of "help", more likely a month.

It started off fine. People flocked to throw money at GFM, they offered services from across the country (somehow), and pretended to enter their information in a google form for contact when the going got tough.

And then then disappeared.

Sure, the mother-in-law was here. She sat on the fucking couch reading social media while I cooked, cleaned, went to work, went to class, and cleaned up my husband's vomit in between. It was sure nice of her to water my plants and do his laundry, though. Oh, she started dinner one day because he was hungry before I came home from work. He made sure I brought her everything she needed, too. After she didn't shower for a week, I finally pried out of her that she needed shampoo, but she couldn't be bothered to ask for a ride to the store. Yes, a ride. She can't drive, you see. I had to cart her places, and my mom drove the hour to help get Jeff home from chemo on the days I could not. I warned them both about cleaning the kitchen completely after cooking or the bugs would come back. Within 2 days of this warning, she complained about seeing a bug. Why don't I simply find a better apartment?

I was offered housekeeping help by nearby friends. I asked them to show up last week. "Oh," they said, "Something came up." Nothing since.

I was offered meals by local friends. "Oh," they said, "You have weird dietary needs. Can you just order takeout every night?" The only people still bringing me food are the vegans. THE VEGANS.

When my messaging liaison posts on social media asking for more assistance, the answer is always, "I'm too far away, sorry." My mom still drives an hour to give my husband and ride, and then drives right back despite, "hating city traffic".

I've been yelled at about staying in school. I've been yelled at for working. He's my vocation, you see, he's my sole purpose to exist. This "sole purpose" made it perfectly clear I need to continue to work and study and have a life. I can't hover over him all day, it's not good for me. But he also runs out of breath doing the dishes and then whines that I can't help him enough. I choked in the kitchen last night tasting dinner, and had to kick on a cabinet for help as I gasped for air. By the time he got into the kitchen with water, my face was purple and hot. Dinner got burned. Good thing the MiL left otherwise this would have been my fault.

I go out to an art opening for a friend, I feel guilty.

I have a glass of wine after work, I feel guilty.

I came home yesterday to a mess of trash from projects he started, but got too tired to finish. So, before I could sit down, I had to bring it all to the dumpster after feeding the cat. By the time I did sit down, I burst into tears because the first thing I was asked was to get dinner started. I was stuck in traffic for an hour because of a concert on campus. I literally forgot how to drive while going to pick up dinner at the meal prep place 20min away. All I wanted to do was sit down with a glass of water for a few minutes.

I'm behind on my reading and assignments for the week. Again.

This is my new normal, though. I have been told to suck it up, and deal. I've also been told I'm getting fat again and I need to "devote time to myself" and get back in shape and maintaining my diet. When? I don't even have time to vacuum.

Sure would be nice to have all that help people promised 2 months ago. Now they're just asking if he's dead yet to get out of their empty promises.

I was told I "have to take care of myself" by the same people who call me fat and tell me I needed to quit everything to devote my entire life to him.

I'm still disappointed COVID didn't kill us all off.

But hey, "I gotta take care of myself."


Apple Talk / So I caught a 30 day ban on Facebook, again...
« on: November 19, 2021, 11:19:57 pm »
This time?
For appealing a 7 day ban.

Anyways, I still haven't gotten Dok's 90 day mega ban. I must know his secrets.

What's up, spags?

Apple Talk / So I just got your Christmas Card, Dok.
« on: January 23, 2021, 10:12:13 pm »
It went on a national tour trying to find our new address through forwarding. As a result, half of the glitter on the front of the card got knocked loose. I felt this in the envelope before I opened it completely and rushed to the garbage, but it was to no avail.

Tell Jenn she sent me a damn pipe bomb of glitter. My kitchen is now coated in green, sparkling herpes as only I can expect from a card from Tucson. It landed on the cat, OH GOD, IT LANDED ON THE CAT! On the bright side, it's a bit of an improvement here in Hampton Roads, it gives the real Herpes Simplex 2 out of Virginia Beach a bit of pizazz.

You ARE right, Dok, you do live in a better place. This coast has too much fucking nature. There's a reason why all Holy Mentm come from the desert, after all.

Also, your sons look just like you and I literally thought your oldest WAS you and needed to make a double take. Holy shit, we're getting old.

There might be retaliation, which is a cheesy way of saying I'm going to give you my new address with style.

Okay for now,

Aneristic Illusions / Epstein's Little Black Book has been leaked.
« on: June 01, 2020, 03:40:31 pm »
I'm not sure how legit it is. I've seen two sources, they both look a little different, but Reddit is discussing the Scribd version right now.

Aneristic Illusions / Fighting mental illness.
« on: April 03, 2020, 06:56:17 pm »
I can't be the only one right now, sitting on my couch, spending my afternoons crying.

I'm actually more concerned about what this quarantine is going to do to people mentally. I mean, my depression is at full steam, because that's what happens when I take too much anti-anxiety meds. But if I forgo those pills, the anxiety takes over and I'm pretty sure my heart is really a chest burster, but the one from Spaceballs.

The problem as I see it, is that people aren't taking the mental repercussions of this seriously. I have my own husband telling me to "just calm down and deal with it". My therapist, whom I love, is great, but even she admits that this is going to bubble to a head, and we're all doomed.

I think that in a way, those of us who are seriously afflicted, are going through a period of mourning right now, mourning for the old normal and in fear of the new one, which is a pretty standard response, considering. Honestly, I wish I could get off of my ass and do things. Really. I have no shortage of projects, but my brain is just shutting off and telling me to do the same. I just disconnected myself from Facebook for the most part. Checking in on certain people and pages, but mostly avoiding my timeline of crape-hangers, since that's not helping my mood.

How do we come to terms with this? We keep getting told to keep positive, but when it's clear there are no more positives, how do I stop myself from blowing my brains out?

Literate Chaotic / A Daughter's Adoration
« on: March 13, 2020, 05:03:31 am »
Beyond the River Styx.

The Eve of Spring.

“My queen, why are you doing this?”

The Underworld was not what most thought it was. In fact, in many ways, in mimicked the mortal world, the living. The dead, at least, those deserving, could find themselves among the creature comforts of home, eternal sunshine, and peace. Of course, if you didn’t deserve it, your fate would be much, much harsher.

There was a hell of a bureaucracy to even get there. Sure, Hades and Persephone ran the joint, but then there was Thanatos, the actual bringer of gentle, eternal sleep. His powers were primordial: A combination of the Night and the Shadows, coming upon you like a star-dusted dream. His touch was not feared. In fact, by most, it was welcomed. The best Death anybody could ever want for themselves or loved ones. One without suffering or pain.

There were other immortals for that.

The Algea. Children of Chaos Herself. Bringers of pain to both the body and the mind.

And the Nosoi, released by Pandora herself. They were disease and plague. But they could not act alone. For that, they needed help. Help beyond the Great Rivers and into the Sky. It was by only the arrows of the Twins borne of Zeus that they could ride into the humours of mortals to remind them of the dangers of their hubris.

It was the Nosoi that knelt before the ebony throne of She Who Destroys the Light, as the Queen gazed off into the distance. Toward a small, inkling of light piercing the horizon as Helios’s chariot made its approach.

“My Queen,” they begged again, averting their gaze. The Algea remained in the shadows, knowing their time would soon come after, “Why? Why now? You’re to return to Olympus soon, to end the gaunt days! We will ever abide by your wishes, but, we must know. What you desire is stonehearted. My Queen, please, tell us, why do you wish to befall pestilence upon the children of man?”

Persephone’s eyes turned back toward the collective of daemons. Green eyes, ever always the color of a fruitful, warm, summer’s day, but shrouded in skin of alabaster and black hair that glistened as the finest byssus when the light shone upon it. Her diadem was cut of pure obsidian, thrown from the forge of Hephaestus, and set with rubies in the shape of her beloved pomegranate seeds. She was terrifying in her divine beauty.

“Because.” Her voice was half past a whisper, “They pissed off my mother.”

[Nanonovel brought to you by a sleepless night and a useless classics degree.]

Apple Talk / Wash Your Lyrics
« on: March 11, 2020, 03:09:39 am »
Because there are more important things to do, BUT-

Bring and Brag / Buy my shirts.
« on: March 04, 2020, 11:15:30 pm »
No, really.

I've been invited to speak at Oxford this summer, and I'm poor as fuck. I'm raising money through The Bitchy Historian, my internet D-List alter ego, to help me get there.

Pretty sure this quote is actually a Hamishism, anyway.

Apple Talk / Dear Doktor:
« on: June 20, 2019, 04:34:11 am »
How does one cure the Nazi?

::into a dark senate chamber enters a hapless man. A spotlight guides him to an empty seat at a table in front of a large semicircle panel of nothing but angry clones of Hillary Clinton and one Ted Cruz::

:The poor misguided, honest, amazing family man's wife sits behind him, tears in her eyes, because her husband is totes the real victim::

[place holder because I have shit to do. Or, go ahead and continue with the script.]

Apple Talk / ITT: Peedee helps Suu pick a nom de plume.
« on: September 28, 2018, 12:44:08 am »
I've been told I should start writing again, because well, A: I should, an B: I have horrible ideas that need to get on paper, but I also don't want to throw my husband's career in the bucket.


Or Kill Me / But really, though, what did you expect?
« on: February 20, 2018, 05:41:16 pm »
I really want to know why people expect more out of America. This was a nation that began because three kingdoms that absolutely hated each other had to be the first to land grab the continent and kill those that lived upon it for the sake of their own national interests. The English consisted of religious fanatics, political dissidents, corporate tradesmen, and violent prisoners. The Spanish were violent, cutthroat treasure hunters who forced Catholicism on the natives or else they got the hose again, and the French were...well, nobody likes the fucking French.

The Dutch? Nope. They didn't have a chance.

And that's just how it started.

The French and Spanish sell out, because they know a bad investment when they see one, and then the English, now Americans, get mad that there's people speaking French and Spanish TO THIS DAY. Even when the British stopped the slave trade, Americans kept fucking going, because they were instilled with the business sense of pure imperialism and domination over others by using the Bible as a fucking shield and a whip as the word of God.

Despite being founded by distinctly different cultures, the nation has never cared about the natives, never wanted to consider blacks equal, and has never welcomed immigrants. Ever. For something we allegedly take pride of, that whole "melting pot teeming refuge" rhetoric, it's all a grandiose scheme of bullshit. One designed to continuous build a superiority complex upon the bones of the "other".

Education? Who needs it! Just give us a sharp stick and a few F-35s, that'll learn the rest of the world. We're armed to the teeth, our kids kill each other on average twice a week, but if you so much touch those rights, everybody knows that Joseph McCarthy will come back from the grave, put his rotted boot of post-war anti-communist nationalism on our heads and remind us that if we even discuss various interpretations of the Constitution, Necro-Stalin will come over and Red Dawn becomes a real thing, except that the Russians are supposed to be our friends now. We're supposed to believe them while the top rated James Bond villain of all time has turned a nation that was really trying very hard to be almost stable back into an authoritarian nightmare because he's read his Machiavelli. Therefore, collusion? Nah. Not a thing, but watch out for Necro-Stalin and Lich-Lenin! They're the embodiment of anybody not-MAGA, and they're coming for your guns.

But enjoy those tasty Thanksgiving dinners and your kids in cute pilgrim costumes year after year, despite the fact you're dressing them up as the most oppressive and vicious people to set foot on New England soil before Red Sox fans. That fake nationalism is what makes American great. Lie to your children, keep lying. That is, if you aren't working 3 jobs a day and even have time to lie. Let the teachers lie, oh, they can't, they're too busy teaching to the goddamn test and uh, dying.

I say these things out loud, and I get pointed at as a reason for why we can't have nice things, and I even own a gun that's bigger than Ron Jeremy's. How DARE I read books! Women, get out of school and work, get back in the kitchen, and you pump those ovaries into overdrive, because Baby Jesus demands soldiers for the Motherland, as long as they're dripping with corporate sponsorship labels on their racing silks, they will be immune from fuckery. That's right, heffers, start your engines. Treat that uterus like a goddamn Thompson gun strapped with the ammunition of ONLY XX and XY Chromosomes. That's right, only straight, normal, healthy boys in blue and girls in pink are allowed. That's how the American God intended it. Back to that book, to the Spanish and English and French bayonets at the necks of the "other". Read it, eat it, or die. Praise the Lord, and pass the ammunition.

Shit ain't gonna get fixed. This shit is what we are, who we are. When you isolate the animals from the rest of the world, they evolve in their own, horrid way. Just look at Australia, just fucking look: spiders the size of the entire continent, and the platypus.

So, the next time you hear yourself go, "We need to fix this nation!" Remind yourselves that we weren't broken to begin with. This is just us, the New Normal is same Normal, just with extra Miracle Whip on the shit sammich. When evolution stops in one place, the rest of the world keeps turning.

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