Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Two vast and trunkless legs of stone => Topic started by: The Good Reverend Roger on June 02, 2014, 10:38:36 PM

Title: My disappointment is a big fucking truck.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on June 02, 2014, 10:38:36 PM
So they said they'd found my bag, which I haven't lost and that they're sending it to me BUT THEN it turns out they've LOST the bag that I HAVE IN MY POSSESSION, somewhere between Dallas and Tucson, AND I AM BEGINNING TO THINK that EITHER they are FUCKING WITH ME, or the bag went back to DIMENSION 9 where it fucking BELONGS IN THE FIRST PLACE.
Title: Re: My disappointment is a big fucking truck.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 02, 2014, 10:43:07 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 02, 2014, 10:38:36 PM
So they said they'd found my bag, which I haven't lost and that they're sending it to me BUT THEN it turns out they've LOST the bag that I HAVE IN MY POSSESSION, somewhere between Dallas and Tucson, AND I AM BEGINNING TO THINK that EITHER they are FUCKING WITH ME, or the bag went back to DIMENSION 9 where it fucking BELONGS IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Whaaaaaaaaaat?  :lulz:
Title: Re: My disappointment is a big fucking truck.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on June 02, 2014, 10:47:32 PM
Quote from: All-Father Nigel on June 02, 2014, 10:43:07 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 02, 2014, 10:38:36 PM
So they said they'd found my bag, which I haven't lost and that they're sending it to me BUT THEN it turns out they've LOST the bag that I HAVE IN MY POSSESSION, somewhere between Dallas and Tucson, AND I AM BEGINNING TO THINK that EITHER they are FUCKING WITH ME, or the bag went back to DIMENSION 9 where it fucking BELONGS IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Whaaaaaaaaaat?  :lulz:

I was home today all fucked up on pills because no sleep.  When I finally woke up, I called the AA desk at the airport to see if the bag was there, so I could pick it up tomorrow.  They had some kid working the desk, and he looks and says it isn't there.  I ask him to track it in the computer.  He says it left Dallas.  He can't find where it went in the system, because according to the computer it IS here in Tucson.  Only it's not.

At least not THIS Tucson.

Title: Re: My disappointment is a big fucking truck.
Post by: Cainad (dec.) on June 02, 2014, 11:01:36 PM
 :lulz: Curiouser and curiouser...
Title: Re: My disappointment is a big fucking truck.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 03, 2014, 12:38:20 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 02, 2014, 10:47:32 PM
Quote from: All-Father Nigel on June 02, 2014, 10:43:07 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 02, 2014, 10:38:36 PM
So they said they'd found my bag, which I haven't lost and that they're sending it to me BUT THEN it turns out they've LOST the bag that I HAVE IN MY POSSESSION, somewhere between Dallas and Tucson, AND I AM BEGINNING TO THINK that EITHER they are FUCKING WITH ME, or the bag went back to DIMENSION 9 where it fucking BELONGS IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Whaaaaaaaaaat?  :lulz:

I was home today all fucked up on pills because no sleep.  When I finally woke up, I called the AA desk at the airport to see if the bag was there, so I could pick it up tomorrow.  They had some kid working the desk, and he looks and says it isn't there.  I ask him to track it in the computer.  He says it left Dallas.  He can't find where it went in the system, because according to the computer it IS here in Tucson.  Only it's not.

At least not THIS Tucson.

PHANTOM BAG!
Title: Re: My disappointment is a big fucking truck.
Post by: Eater of Clowns on June 03, 2014, 12:42:04 AM
If you open the bag, you will find Tucson.

Tucson is everywhere. Everywhere is in the bag.

The bag is lost.

Everywhere is lost.

If you open the bag, you will find Tucson.

The bag is in Tucson. Tucson is everywhere.

The bag is everywhere.

The bag is lost.

Tucson is lost in Tucson. Everywhere is lost in everywhere.

If you open the bag, you will find Tucson.
Title: Re: My disappointment is a big fucking truck.
Post by: Pæs on June 03, 2014, 12:43:02 AM
The worst part is what happened to the truck driver who was transporting it.

Horrible.

:cry:
Title: Re: My disappointment is a big fucking truck.
Post by: Raz Tech on June 03, 2014, 12:49:19 AM
demand that they buy all the things you lost and come up with the most incredible list possible.

Title: Re: My disappointment is a big fucking truck.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on June 03, 2014, 02:58:16 AM
Quote from: Raz Tech on June 03, 2014, 12:49:19 AM
demand that they buy all the things you lost and come up with the most incredible list possible.

I refuse to turn this sort of surreal nonsense into a college gag or a means to get stuff.

Just saying.
Title: Re: My disappointment is a big fucking truck.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on June 03, 2014, 03:09:28 AM
Quote from: All-Father Nigel on June 03, 2014, 12:38:20 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 02, 2014, 10:47:32 PM
Quote from: All-Father Nigel on June 02, 2014, 10:43:07 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 02, 2014, 10:38:36 PM
So they said they'd found my bag, which I haven't lost and that they're sending it to me BUT THEN it turns out they've LOST the bag that I HAVE IN MY POSSESSION, somewhere between Dallas and Tucson, AND I AM BEGINNING TO THINK that EITHER they are FUCKING WITH ME, or the bag went back to DIMENSION 9 where it fucking BELONGS IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Whaaaaaaaaaat?  :lulz:

I was home today all fucked up on pills because no sleep.  When I finally woke up, I called the AA desk at the airport to see if the bag was there, so I could pick it up tomorrow.  They had some kid working the desk, and he looks and says it isn't there.  I ask him to track it in the computer.  He says it left Dallas.  He can't find where it went in the system, because according to the computer it IS here in Tucson.  Only it's not.

At least not THIS Tucson.

PHANTOM BAG!

This is a fucking omen or something.  The OTHER universe isn't SATISFIED with it's OWN infinity, and it wants MINE.

We'll just see about this shit.
Title: Re: My disappointment is a big fucking truck.
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 03, 2014, 03:09:49 AM
Call back and tell them it's okay, they'll find it by the smell it gives off in another three days or so. And no, you don't know how that raw venison got in there, why are they asking such silly questions?
Title: Re: My disappointment is a big fucking truck.
Post by: Pæs on June 03, 2014, 03:20:21 AM
This isn't fucking funny you asshats. Shit like this is how we wind up with the Other Roger and we all know where that leads.
Title: Re: My disappointment is a big fucking truck.
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 03, 2014, 06:28:06 AM
Quote from: Pæs on June 03, 2014, 03:20:21 AM
This isn't fucking funny you asshats. Shit like this is how we wind up with the Other Roger and we all know where that leads.

You just aren't serious about having a good time anymore, Paes.
Title: Re: My disappointment is a big fucking truck.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 03, 2014, 06:47:26 AM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on June 03, 2014, 12:42:04 AM
If you open the bag, you will find Tucson.

Tucson is everywhere. Everywhere is in the bag.

The bag is lost.

Everywhere is lost.

If you open the bag, you will find Tucson.

The bag is in Tucson. Tucson is everywhere.

The bag is everywhere.

The bag is lost.

Tucson is lost in Tucson. Everywhere is lost in everywhere.

If you open the bag, you will find Tucson.

BINGO!
Title: Re: My disappointment is a big fucking truck.
Post by: Junkenstein on June 03, 2014, 07:14:45 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 03, 2014, 02:58:16 AM
Quote from: Raz Tech on June 03, 2014, 12:49:19 AM
demand that they buy all the things you lost and come up with the most incredible list possible.

I refuse to turn this sort of surreal nonsense into a college gag or a means to get stuff.

Just saying.

Personally, I think they only sensible thing to do is demand your bag until they come up with something.

Somewhere, this is causing all kinds of hell for someone.
Title: Re: My disappointment is a big fucking truck.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on June 03, 2014, 02:17:21 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 03, 2014, 06:28:06 AM
Quote from: Pæs on June 03, 2014, 03:20:21 AM
This isn't fucking funny you asshats. Shit like this is how we wind up with the Other Roger and we all know where that leads.

You just aren't serious about having a good time anymore, Paes.

Marry me.   :pika:
Title: Re: My disappointment is a big fucking truck.
Post by: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 03, 2014, 04:56:44 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 03, 2014, 02:17:21 PM
Quote from: Cardinal Pizza Deliverance. on June 03, 2014, 06:28:06 AM
Quote from: Pæs on June 03, 2014, 03:20:21 AM
This isn't fucking funny you asshats. Shit like this is how we wind up with the Other Roger and we all know where that leads.

You just aren't serious about having a good time anymore, Paes.

Marry me.   :pika:

  8)
Title: Re: My disappointment is a big fucking truck.
Post by: Junkenstein on June 03, 2014, 05:00:33 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on June 03, 2014, 07:14:45 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 03, 2014, 02:58:16 AM
Quote from: Raz Tech on June 03, 2014, 12:49:19 AM
demand that they buy all the things you lost and come up with the most incredible list possible.

I refuse to turn this sort of surreal nonsense into a college gag or a means to get stuff.

Just saying.

Personally, I think they only sensible thing to do is demand your bag until they come up with something.

Somewhere, this is causing all kinds of hell for someone.

Thinking about this, do it in person. Take the bag with you.
Title: Re: My disappointment is a big fucking truck.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on June 03, 2014, 05:34:23 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on June 03, 2014, 05:00:33 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on June 03, 2014, 07:14:45 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 03, 2014, 02:58:16 AM
Quote from: Raz Tech on June 03, 2014, 12:49:19 AM
demand that they buy all the things you lost and come up with the most incredible list possible.

I refuse to turn this sort of surreal nonsense into a college gag or a means to get stuff.

Just saying.

Personally, I think they only sensible thing to do is demand your bag until they come up with something.

Somewhere, this is causing all kinds of hell for someone.

Thinking about this, do it in person. Take the bag with you.

Yes.  Dressed the way I was dressed in MA.

:lulz:
Title: Re: My disappointment is a big fucking truck.
Post by: Faust on June 03, 2014, 06:34:55 PM
Try that and you'll be picked up by worried agents who will mutter something about "universal wave form collapse" and black bag ypu.
Title: Re: My disappointment is a big fucking truck.
Post by: Reginald Ret on June 03, 2014, 10:16:20 PM
Quote from: Faust on June 03, 2014, 06:34:55 PM
Try that and you'll be picked up by worried agents who will mutter something about "universal wave form collapse" and black bag ypu.
Poor Ypu, he never saw it coming.
Title: Re: My disappointment is a big fucking truck.
Post by: Pæs on June 03, 2014, 10:38:06 PM
Quote from: Regret on June 03, 2014, 10:16:20 PM
Quote from: Faust on June 03, 2014, 06:34:55 PM
Try that and you'll be picked up by worried agents who will mutter something about "universal wave form collapse" and black bag ypu.
Poor Ypu, he never saw it coming.
WE DO NOT SPEAK THE NAMES OF THE OTHER PEOPLE. HOLY FUCK, YOU GUYS, IT'S LIKE THE DARK YEAR NEVER HAPPENED.
Title: Re: My disappointment is a big fucking truck.
Post by: Q. G. Pennyworth on June 03, 2014, 10:53:49 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on June 03, 2014, 12:42:04 AM
If you open the bag, you will find Tucson.

Tucson is everywhere. Everywhere is in the bag.

The bag is lost.

Everywhere is lost.

If you open the bag, you will find Tucson.

The bag is in Tucson. Tucson is everywhere.

The bag is everywhere.

The bag is lost.

Tucson is lost in Tucson. Everywhere is lost in everywhere.

If you open the bag, you will find Tucson.

I need to steal this
Title: Re: My disappointment is a big fucking truck.
Post by: Richter on June 04, 2014, 02:24:46 AM
SO have they replaced the bag you haven't lsot yet?  With those PERSONAL items?  I'd be making these people a list...
Title: Re: My disappointment is a big fucking truck.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on June 04, 2014, 02:31:22 AM
Quote from: Richter on June 04, 2014, 02:24:46 AM
SO have they replaced the bag you haven't lsot yet?  With those PERSONAL items?  I'd be making these people a list...

No, that would ruin it.

It's better in this weird, nebulous state.  If I say what's in the bag, I might fuck it all up.
Title: Re: My disappointment is a big fucking truck.
Post by: Richter on June 04, 2014, 02:34:16 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 04, 2014, 02:31:22 AM
Quote from: Richter on June 04, 2014, 02:24:46 AM
SO have they replaced the bag you haven't lsot yet?  With those PERSONAL items?  I'd be making these people a list...

No, that would ruin it.

It's better in this weird, nebulous state.  If I say what's in the bag, I might fuck it all up.

So the airline is in a state of quantum entanglement over your sack
Title: Re: My disappointment is a big fucking truck.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on June 04, 2014, 02:34:37 AM
Quote from: Richter on June 04, 2014, 02:34:16 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 04, 2014, 02:31:22 AM
Quote from: Richter on June 04, 2014, 02:24:46 AM
SO have they replaced the bag you haven't lsot yet?  With those PERSONAL items?  I'd be making these people a list...

No, that would ruin it.

It's better in this weird, nebulous state.  If I say what's in the bag, I might fuck it all up.


So the airline is in a state of quantum entanglement over your sack

:lulz::lulz::lulz:
Title: Re: My disappointment is a big fucking truck.
Post by: Eater of Clowns on June 04, 2014, 02:38:35 AM
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on June 03, 2014, 10:53:49 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on June 03, 2014, 12:42:04 AM
If you open the bag, you will find Tucson.

Tucson is everywhere. Everywhere is in the bag.

The bag is lost.

Everywhere is lost.

If you open the bag, you will find Tucson.

The bag is in Tucson. Tucson is everywhere.

The bag is everywhere.

The bag is lost.

Tucson is lost in Tucson. Everywhere is lost in everywhere.

If you open the bag, you will find Tucson.

I need to steal this

Be my guest. I was having A Little Moment.

LIKE ROGER IN THE VOICEMAIL HE LEFT ME WHILE I WAS WATCHING GODZILLA.

Roger, listen to me, I know you're reading this. Despite what you think is expected of you in that particular interaction, you need to know this:

Do. Not. Cook.
Title: Re: My disappointment is a big fucking truck.
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on June 04, 2014, 03:13:18 AM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on June 04, 2014, 02:38:35 AM
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on June 03, 2014, 10:53:49 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on June 03, 2014, 12:42:04 AM
If you open the bag, you will find Tucson.

Tucson is everywhere. Everywhere is in the bag.

The bag is lost.

Everywhere is lost.

If you open the bag, you will find Tucson.

The bag is in Tucson. Tucson is everywhere.

The bag is everywhere.

The bag is lost.

Tucson is lost in Tucson. Everywhere is lost in everywhere.

If you open the bag, you will find Tucson.

I need to steal this

Be my guest. I was having A Little Moment.

LIKE ROGER IN THE VOICEMAIL HE LEFT ME WHILE I WAS WATCHING GODZILLA.

Roger, listen to me, I know you're reading this. Despite what you think is expected of you in that particular interaction, you need to know this:

Do. Not. Cook.

I couldn't help myself.  The spirit moved me.
Title: Re: My disappointment is a big fucking truck.
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on June 04, 2014, 04:43:34 AM
Quote from: Richter on June 04, 2014, 02:34:16 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on June 04, 2014, 02:31:22 AM
Quote from: Richter on June 04, 2014, 02:24:46 AM
SO have they replaced the bag you haven't lsot yet?  With those PERSONAL items?  I'd be making these people a list...

No, that would ruin it.

It's better in this weird, nebulous state.  If I say what's in the bag, I might fuck it all up.

So the airline is in a state of quantum entanglement over your sack

:eek:
Title: Re: My disappointment is a big fucking truck.
Post by: LMNO on June 04, 2014, 12:05:29 PM
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on June 03, 2014, 10:53:49 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on June 03, 2014, 12:42:04 AM
If you open the bag, you will find Tucson.

Tucson is everywhere. Everywhere is in the bag.

The bag is lost.

Everywhere is lost.

If you open the bag, you will find Tucson.

The bag is in Tucson. Tucson is everywhere.

The bag is everywhere.

The bag is lost.

Tucson is lost in Tucson. Everywhere is lost in everywhere.

If you open the bag, you will find Tucson.

I need to steal this

Big Words?
Title: Re: My disappointment is a big fucking truck.
Post by: Luna on June 04, 2014, 01:16:16 PM
This is all my fault.  Well, not ALL mine, but, mostly.

I remember that bag.  When TGRR was paroled from Tuscon for a visit to Providence, he brought that bag.  While he couch surfed up here...  I can safely confess, since he's back in the loving arms of Tuscon and can't reach back here, one (or both, how the fuck would I know) of my cats... um... well...  Cats do these kinds of things. 

I panicked.  Totally my fault, that, but I am fond of the fuzzy little bastards.  A hairball, TGRR would have understood, I'm sure, but this...  Not all the febreeze in the world, man.

Fortunately, Providence.  Nexus for weird shit.  The chalk for the pentagram, no sweat.  Candles, I have my hurricane stash, no problem at all.  The blood, well... There are way too many drunk college students at any time for THAT to be an issue.  It was grabbing a hair from TGRR that was the problem, I think.  I'm thinking using a back hair screwed with things.

On the plus side, the bag is clean.  It's just the extras from... other places...

Oops.

Sorry.

On the plus side, I think this one escaped in Dallas.  Nobody needed it for anything, right?
Title: Re: My disappointment is a big fucking truck.
Post by: P3nT4gR4m on June 04, 2014, 01:17:59 PM
Quote from: Luna on June 04, 2014, 01:16:16 PM
This is all my fault.  Well, not ALL mine, but, mostly.

I remember that bag.  When TGRR was paroled from Tuscon for a visit to Providence, he brought that bag.  While he couch surfed up here...  I can safely confess, since he's back in the loving arms of Tuscon and can't reach back here, one (or both, how the fuck would I know) of my cats... um... well...  Cats do these kinds of things. 

I panicked.  Totally my fault, that, but I am fond of the fuzzy little bastards.  A hairball, TGRR would have understood, I'm sure, but this...  Not all the febreeze in the world, man.

Fortunately, Providence.  Nexus for weird shit.  The chalk for the pentagram, no sweat.  Candles, I have my hurricane stash, no problem at all.  The blood, well... There are way too many drunk college students at any time for THAT to be an issue.  It was grabbing a hair from TGRR that was the problem, I think.  I'm thinking using a back hair screwed with things.

On the plus side, the bag is clean.  It's just the extras from... other places...

Oops.

Sorry.

On the plus side, I think this one escaped in Dallas.  Nobody needed it for anything, right?

:spit: