BECAUSE OF THE TECHNOLOGICAL ADVANCEMENTS OF THE PAST CENTURY, NIGEL AND I HAVE DECIDED TO MOVE EVERYTHING DIRECTLY TO THE YEAR 2510.
THE PRESENT YEAR IS NOW 2510...
what have you been doing
FOR
the last 500 years?
WHAT WILL YOU DO
now that it is the twenty-sixth century?
Technological advancements, my ass.
I still don't have a jetpack.
I HAVE BEEN
accosting the services of my many blue-skinned, cat-faced holographic sex slaves.
I WILL
kill a motherfucker if the power goes out.
I've been fending off giant Death Space Wasps on the planet Necropolis Prime, dreaming of a simpler time when all man had to do was drive back home from his office job, take his pills and then softly cry himself to sleep only to be greeted by another meaningless day.
I was in a Turkish Prison for the past 400 years then I died in a car crash, after that I woke up as a head in a jar ... Now I'm living a fine life at the convict musuem, we get our regular feedings around 6pm everyday.
my clone is going through the changes, naturally rebelling and rewiring her protoshield when I sleep so that she looks like whoopi and steals mangos from the WE B MANgo. I found another plastic spoon in the microwave last night. I think she's huffing radiation again...Doc says maybe she does it to self-medicate but I AM a GOOD cloner! No respect...I'm at the end of my rope and I need a vacation.
I spent the last 500 years building a race of perfect beings. They went through a rebellious period, but now they just want to settle down to a nice solar system to assimilate into a Matrioshka brain.
I'm connecting to PD.com on my phone
that is implanted in my brain.
HOVERBOARD OR GTFO.
Quote from: Calamity Nigel on March 09, 2010, 05:51:56 AM
I'm connecting to PD.com on my phone
that is implanted in my brain.
I'm not giving anybody on this board direct access to my brain.
Quote from: Requia ☣ on March 09, 2010, 05:57:59 AM
Quote from: Calamity Nigel on March 09, 2010, 05:51:56 AM
I'm connecting to PD.com on my phone
that is implanted in my brain.
I'm not giving anybody on this board direct access to my brain.
Really? I want to traumatize them with my insides.
Still waiting for my flying car which will be powered by fusion which is only 30 years away!
fogukaup, is your avatar actually you?
Am I being usurped from my position as the board's ethnic minority?
Within the hermetically sealed glass case, my decomposition has slowed down but has not been halted altogether. Consequently, contemporary fashion favors sunken eyes, gray hair, and withered, yellow skin. Though I could have predicted I'd be a trendsetter, I wouldn't have predicted the entire sexual subculture which emerged around my gradually decaying corpse.
Quote from: Calamity Nigel on March 09, 2010, 07:03:16 PM
fogukaup, is your avatar actually you?
Am I being usurped from my position as the board's ethnic minority?
yea thats me, box fro and all.
Quote from: fogukaup on March 09, 2010, 07:23:48 PM
Quote from: Calamity Nigel on March 09, 2010, 07:03:16 PM
fogukaup, is your avatar actually you?
Am I being usurped from my position as the board's ethnic minority?
yea thats me, box fro and all.
You are adorable!
Quote from: Cramulus on March 09, 2010, 07:08:31 PM
Within the hermetically sealed glass case, my decomposition has slowed down but has not been halted altogether. Consequently, contemporary fashion favors sunken eyes, gray hair, and withered, yellow skin. Though I could have predicted I'd be a trendsetter, I wouldn't have predicted the entire sexual subculture which emerged around my gradually decaying corpse.
:potd:
Due to my actions during the Zombie Apocalypse (staged for everyone's fun by Disney), I've changed my identity twice. My complete lack of creativity with names has led to no one being fooled. (Though the two days I was "William Zanzinger" were hillarious.)
An offhand comment about "you have the right to live, not stink up my planet with more life like you." is spawning legislation, and has gotten my books banned in public schools.
I FINALLY have a valve on the back of my balls that I can turn with a hex key to deterine whether or not I shoot blanks. The implant is freely available from most 1st world countries.
Polar bears with horrible metal prostheses are everywhere in mainland USA. I know nothing about how this may have happened.
The Vatican is ripping off forum archives to update the church with a "Fresher Feel"
I'm still lying frozen in a box, with "SMASH GLASS IN CASE OF AKK" written on the side of it.
Strangely enough, even though I'm frozen, the heat of my hate emanating from the box is used to power Tucson, with a little left over for Benson.
One day, some poor fucker will break the glass. Or maybe there'll be an Earthquake.
Quote from: Calamity Nigel on March 09, 2010, 07:47:20 PM
Quote from: fogukaup on March 09, 2010, 07:23:48 PM
Quote from: Calamity Nigel on March 09, 2010, 07:03:16 PM
fogukaup, is your avatar actually you?
Am I being usurped from my position as the board's ethnic minority?
yea thats me, box fro and all.
You are adorable!
Definatly! Be my friend!!!
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 09, 2010, 08:38:31 PM
I'm still lying frozen in a box, with "SMASH GLASS IN CASE OF AKK" written on the side of it.
Strangely enough, even though I'm frozen, the heat of my hate emanating from the box is used to power Tucson, with a little left over for Benson.
One day, some poor fucker will break the glass. Or maybe there'll be an Earthquake.
Fuck ... I thought they Govt. agreed to keep you in there to prevent 2012, the fuckers better take care of your box.
Quote from: NotPublished on March 09, 2010, 08:42:56 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 09, 2010, 08:38:31 PM
I'm still lying frozen in a box, with "SMASH GLASS IN CASE OF AKK" written on the side of it.
Strangely enough, even though I'm frozen, the heat of my hate emanating from the box is used to power Tucson, with a little left over for Benson.
One day, some poor fucker will break the glass. Or maybe there'll be an Earthquake.
Fuck ... I thought they Govt. agreed to keep you in there to prevent 2012, the fuckers better take care of your box.
I accidentally the whole government 300 years ago. :cry:
Quote from: Calamity Nigel on March 09, 2010, 09:43:24 PM
Quote from: NotPublished on March 09, 2010, 08:42:56 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on March 09, 2010, 08:38:31 PM
I'm still lying frozen in a box, with "SMASH GLASS IN CASE OF AKK" written on the side of it.
Strangely enough, even though I'm frozen, the heat of my hate emanating from the box is used to power Tucson, with a little left over for Benson.
One day, some poor fucker will break the glass. Or maybe there'll be an Earthquake.
Fuck ... I thought they Govt. agreed to keep you in there to prevent 2012, the fuckers better take care of your box.
I accidentally the whole government 300 years ago. :cry:
That'll teach them to park you in.
Quote from: Calamity Nigel on March 09, 2010, 07:47:20 PM
Quote from: fogukaup on March 09, 2010, 07:23:48 PM
Quote from: Calamity Nigel on March 09, 2010, 07:03:16 PM
fogukaup, is your avatar actually you?
Am I being usurped from my position as the board's ethnic minority?
yea thats me, box fro and all.
You are adorable!
aw thanks. I think I'm weird looking. Your avatar is my favorite vocal artist. I listened to nina exclusively in hs and my mom thought I was going to become a lesbian so she destroyed all my cds. Nina is a badass. I love "blue prelude" and "tell me more".
Quote from: fogukaup on March 09, 2010, 10:55:41 PM
Quote from: Calamity Nigel on March 09, 2010, 07:47:20 PM
Quote from: fogukaup on March 09, 2010, 07:23:48 PM
Quote from: Calamity Nigel on March 09, 2010, 07:03:16 PM
fogukaup, is your avatar actually you?
Am I being usurped from my position as the board's ethnic minority?
yea thats me, box fro and all.
You are adorable!
aw thanks. I think I'm weird looking. Your avatar is my favorite vocal artist. I listened to nina exclusively in hs and my mom thought I was going to become a lesbian so she destroyed all my cds. Nina is a badass. I love "blue prelude" and "tell me more".
She destroyed all your Nina CDs? :x That's horrible. Nina is a goddess.
Quote from: fogukaup on March 09, 2010, 10:55:41 PM
aw thanks. I think I'm weird looking.
You are. Weird looking AND hot.
Dok,
No time for the Barbies.
In sixty years they'll light my pyre.
It'll be the spark that starts the world burning down.
IN THE YEAR 2510
it is believed that Nina Simone was worshipped as a goddess
I had to leave the solar system for a series of heinous crimes (stealing Abe Lincoln's burial clothes for my own use and using Shriekyware to broadcast a salvia trip to the entire planet). I then settled on a newly terraformed planet and proceeded to engineer my own Empire of Doomtm. Shortly afterward, my pursuers caught up with me and tried to kill me by burning me alive. When they left, I rose from the ruins of my dark fortress and swore vengeance.
Which I achieved thanks to a time machine, VR technology, and ten years worth of alien porn set to loop.
Quote from: E.O.T. on March 10, 2010, 02:02:09 AM
IN THE YEAR 2510
it is believed that Nina Simone Britney Spears was worshipped as a goddess
Fixed for horrible, horrible truth.
Michael Jackson was ressed and all the zombies danced
In past 500 years i am amazed, Prince Florizel is finally mine (now to look up Alyosha Karamazov, Col. Christopher Brandon, and Severus Snape. :D) No, but of course he would last forever, and give me some of his immortality juice. I was finally able to read Finnegan's Wake and the Quran, visit Stonehenge and the Cornish fogous, negotiate peace between the monks of the Church of the Holy Sepulchre, learn to play the bodhran, and even do some astral traveling.
In my spare time in the mid-2200's I created a moon base. It harvested H3 to power a gargantuan laser weapon, which I straddled once each hour of each day for two decades. It is a monument to Laser Priapus.
in the year 2510, I'm just about to finish that freelance website project I've been working on!
also, I will redesign the PD.com homepage.
and update the voting and the rankings of the memebomb database.
I will also write that freeform-artificial life simulation I've been dreaming up.
Hovertits are the reason they banned flying cars in 2212. It became too dangerous.
Aurthur C. Clarke actualy cites this as a reason for spaceship collisions in the first "Rama" novel.
The thing I've learned, living here in 2510, is that everything that was adequately enough described in popular science fiction has been brought about. Apparently, however implausible a technology may sound, if the human mind can describe it in enough detail to capture the imagination of science geeks, it can be made.
The only thing that science fiction hasn't been able to do is bring to us interaction with aliens from other planets, or get us out of our own solar system. We're working on it, and we have ample evidence that they're out there, but something seems to be holding us back.
Jetpacks: it STILL takes forever to get anywhere, 3 dimesional traffic is a bitch, running out of gas is fatal, and flying got old fast.
STILL no flying cars.
Laugh tracks worse than ever.
still wasting time at a bank-less job on an internet forum where nothing really matters. Or at least shouldn't.
in my free time i have been enjoying my sharks with laser beams variety show.
Quote from: Richter on March 11, 2010, 02:05:03 PM
Aurthur C. Clarke actualy cites this as a reason for spaceship collisions in the first "Rama" novel.
hahaha, awesome
Quote from: Regret on March 11, 2010, 01:45:04 PM
Hovertits are the reason they banned flying cars in 2212. It became too dangerous.
well i for one believe that it's worth the risk
A race of Future-Lizards enslaved and eated us, under the premise of peace. What a lovely bunch...
2510 in Tucson:
We have officially and legally adopted all of the country's weirdies, freaks, and perverts, seceded from the USA, and formed our own country founded on taking weird to the fucking WALL.
Quote from: Mistress Freeky on March 11, 2010, 11:33:28 PM
2510 in Tucson:
(http://www.marjorierolandelli.com/99BurningMan/19990904-BM-MadMaxMobile.jpg)
Exactly the same as it is today.
Quote from: Sigmatic on March 11, 2010, 11:41:33 PM
Quote from: Mistress Freeky on March 11, 2010, 11:33:28 PM
2510 in Tucson:
(http://www.marjorierolandelli.com/99BurningMan/19990904-BM-MadMaxMobile.jpg)
Exactly the same as it is today.
That's what I said, just not in picture form!
Quote from: Richter on March 11, 2010, 04:30:57 PM
Jetpacks: it STILL takes forever to get anywhere, 3 dimesional traffic is a bitch, running out of gas is fatal, and flying got old fast.
It'd be easy to counter the no fuel= falling problem just by having it set that as you lose fuel, you lose propulsion, and slowly drift to the ground.
And your other to problems are solved by jetpacks are fucking awesome.
I just wanted an excuse to use that picture.
Quote from: Risus on March 11, 2010, 11:50:02 PM
Quote from: Richter on March 11, 2010, 04:30:57 PM
Jetpacks: it STILL takes forever to get anywhere, 3 dimesional traffic is a bitch, running out of gas is fatal, and flying got old fast.
It'd be easy to counter the no fuel= falling problem just by having it set that as you lose fuel, you lose propulsion, and slowly drift to the ground.
And your other to problems are solved by jetpacks are fucking awesome.
Give this man a labcoat and a grant.
Interesting idea: How come more jetpack designs don't incorporate some kind of wing? Like, why not a jetpack in name only that was actually a jet hang-glider?
Quote from: Sigmatic on March 11, 2010, 11:51:58 PM
Quote from: Risus on March 11, 2010, 11:50:02 PM
Quote from: Richter on March 11, 2010, 04:30:57 PM
Jetpacks: it STILL takes forever to get anywhere, 3 dimesional traffic is a bitch, running out of gas is fatal, and flying got old fast.
It'd be easy to counter the no fuel= falling problem just by having it set that as you lose fuel, you lose propulsion, and slowly drift to the ground.
And your other to problems are solved by jetpacks are fucking awesome.
Give this man a labcoat and a grant.
Interesting idea: How come more jetpack designs don't incorporate some kind of wing? Like, why not a jetpack in name only that was actually a jet hang-glider?
http://armorgames.com/play/3789/learn-to-fly
HAAAHAHAHA!!! YES!