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Topics - Nast

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16
Propaganda Depository / Let's Enjoy Our Noses
« on: November 01, 2010, 06:07:46 am »
I was thinking about how many people are unhappy with their noses, so I made this poster to promote nose-diversity.



My nose is number 4. : )

Which one is most like yours?

17
Apple Talk / ATTN EVERYONE: GTFO, I'M CALLING YOU OUT
« on: October 20, 2010, 06:52:04 am »
BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAPPPPP
                                      \

18
Apple Talk / ATTN KIM JONG FRED
« on: October 01, 2010, 04:08:01 am »
OUR HEARTS BLOSSOM IN PROFUSION TO GREET THE SPLENDID OF DEAR LEADER!
        \

19
Apple Talk / List of Irritating Things
« on: September 29, 2010, 05:27:59 am »
People who are smart yet not smart enough to know when to hide it.

People who press the button at the crosswalk a million times, even though it doesn't do anything. They must like the beepy noise.

When you set out to prepare a recipe, but near the end you discover that you don't have a key ingredient or that you left it out.

The kiosks at the mall that sell hair extensions and cell phone accessories are irritating

20
Discordian Recipes / Natto! A Food Report
« on: September 26, 2010, 06:04:40 am »
I lost my natto virginity today.

For those who don't know, natto is a traditional Japanese food consisting of fermented soybeans infamous for its funky odor and texture.



For a giggle, please note that the packaging say "bukkake" in Japanese. Now,  bukkake is also a perfectly innocent word meaning to splash or douse (as in you're supposed to splash your natto with soy sauce before eating it).

But considering that this is what natto looks like, the alternative meaning of "bukkake" is somehow very apropos:



The biggest thing that turns people off about natto is the smell. Curiously, I didn't find it to be all that bad. Based on people's descriptions, I was expecting a putrid, sour odor to issue forth from the package when I opened it. To me it just smelled earthy and a little pungent. Now, I can see how some people say it's reminiscent of sweaty socks. But I think that's an unfairly extreme statement; if natto smells like socks then parmesan cheese smells like vomit and stilton like your great grandmother's moldy basement. IMHO, there are plenty of fermented foods that smell far worse than natto, I think people are just being squeamish because's it's an unfamiliar food.

As for the texture: Amazing! When you stir this stuff up it sticks to your chopsticks, suspended in numerous tiny threads like silly string or a spiders web. Admittedly it's more fun to play with than to actually eat. When you put it in your mouth, well, it's thick and slimy and ropey.

Bukkake!

Its other attributes are far from endearing but what made me dislike natto was the taste. It's very bitter. And not bitter as in the gentle astringency of black tea or the refreshingly clean bitterness of bitter melon; natto's bitterness bloomed in your mouth and lingered on the back of the tongue and made you want a glass of water to wash it away.

Natto, like oysters, is one of those foods that make you wonder who the hell was the first person to try it. I can't imagine people finding the pungent, sticky mass of beans under their bed of rice straw and thinking "Oh boy, I'd like to have this for breakfast everyday!". But natto seems to be very healthy for you and the people who enjoy it really enjoy it. So more power to them.

21
Apple Talk / Today's Random Thought
« on: August 28, 2010, 03:33:04 am »
Why do all colleges have to have giant hideous abstract sculptures installed on their campuses?

Every one I've been to has at least one.

And it's always some great big pointy triangular thing in primary colors, or something resembling what I'd imagine a sheet metal factory would like after a heavy bombing.

I don't understand it.

22
Apple Talk / ATTN AUCOQ
« on: July 29, 2010, 06:46:12 am »
Now you've gone and made me all nostalgic for coq au vin, the dish my crazy botox-filled aunt who thinks she's French brings over for Thanksgiving.

I suppose that was your intention?

23
Bring and Brag / ITT I SING SONGS TO ENTERTAIN YOU
« on: July 18, 2010, 05:25:13 am »
...or possibly horrify you. Really, I've never had any vocal training and the only time I sing is while in the kitchen.

But I thought it would be fun to share with you. Hopefully I'm not too awful. D:

http://ifile.it/fx7r2k9 - A song about fireflies...in Classical Japanese

http://ifile.it/j28db43 - The theme song from Disney's Mulan in Finnish. I don't speak a word of Finnish, but that doesn't mean I can't pretend to.

http://ifile.it/t2fhsgx  -  Moon River




24
Bring and Brag / Smut in Santa Barbara
« on: July 09, 2010, 08:10:54 am »
Barbie has been made into an unfortunate example to passerbys - this is Bratz turf



A randy pillar



A randy sidewalk



I assume that these were the result of the Solstice Parade in town a few weeks ago. You could only imagine how grossly threatened my sensibilities were!

25
Or Kill Me / Woes for the Woe Pile
« on: July 09, 2010, 07:36:47 am »
"Don't tell Jason," I overheard the tiny voice on the phone say. "He might be jealous."

And I was.

It's completely wrong and possibly even a bit childish for me to feel that way about another person's good fortune, but my heart has grown so, so bitter lately (and not just from knitting!)

It's just... very hard to hear that someone is getting what they want out of life while meanwhile you're stuck in an abnormal unhealthy family that's been threatened by poverty for a good few months. And that you're very scared, and lonely, and frustrated that whatever you try you just can't seem to Get It Right. Maybe I lack the ambition to haul myself out of this mess and into the world. Maybe what my dad said was right, that I am lazy. And maybe my brother's right, that I'm weak and delicate and could never last.

I remember mentioning on here that my family was never abusive. But I was wrong, I now know that it was an emotionally abusive environment. When I finally saw how other, normal adults lived, it was strange and amazing at the same time: they had friends, they listened to music, they went and did things together, they seemed to love each other. There was a void in place of those things throughout my childhood, affection was sucked in along with them.

Now I'm old enough, I know I need to work towards independence, to work towards my own life that I can fill with joy. How will I possibly get there?

I've gotta be brave.

26
Apple Talk / Lord Whimsy
« on: July 02, 2010, 07:35:47 am »
Has anyone ever checked out Lord Whimsy's stuff? I'm very smitten with his naturalist dandy aesthetic. He also links to Discordiansim on his site:

http://www.lordwhimsy.com/whimsy/index.html

Newer blog:

http://theaffectedprovincial.blogspot.com/

Older blog:

http://lord-whimsy.livejournal.com/

I haven't bought his book, but it looks charming.

27
Apple Talk / ATTN Kai
« on: May 21, 2010, 12:54:29 am »
In the old children's book I got, there's a story about caddis worms! It made me think of you:

Some caddisfly larvae find themselves born into a pond, but their white backsides make them very vulnerable. So one of them gets the bright idea to build houses to protect themselves. (At this point they all think they are very clever, not knowing that caddis worms have always done so).
However, the Biggest Caddis Worm builds his case carelessly, even though the others forewarn him to make sure it is thick enough. Eventually they fasten their houses onto something solid and enter a deep sleep. Soon, Water Adder comes over and bumps the Biggest Caddis Worm's house, and he tumbles out. Belostoma happens to be by and carries him off. None know just what became of the Biggest Caddis Worm after that.  :sad:

28
Or Kill Me / Words and Lack of Words
« on: May 07, 2010, 01:59:26 am »
The first thing people usually say about me is that I'm so quiet. I usually tell them that I simply have nothing to say. This probably makes me a terrible bore, but splattering everyone with your raw unfiltered verbal diarrhea makes you an even greater one.

So what's so awkward about silence? A lot of people have a horror vacui in regards to conversation. They try to insulate the spaces with all sorts of chatter, as if the silence is painful. It doesn't have to be. Have you ever been with someone with which the connection was so solid words were unnecessary? That you could just share a moment, and didn't have to open your mouth and search for something clever or funny to say? That means more than all the small talk in the world.

29
Discordian Recipes / Knives - Please to Advise?
« on: March 30, 2010, 08:54:11 pm »
So, what would be some essential knives to have around? We currently have a santoku and deba (both shamefully dull), and maybe 4 steak knives. Sad, isn't it?

I'm not hacking up animal parts everyday, so I'm mostly concerned with some everyday, chops-your-goddamn-carrots type knives to invest in. What brands would you recommend? What's the best way to sharpen?

I'd like to become knowledgeable about it, because I know how important preparation is.

30
Apple Talk / A Random Thought
« on: March 09, 2010, 08:10:24 am »
A memory came back to me when I was in the shower tonight. I remembered that when I was younger I could distinguish people, their homes, and their possessions by their personal scent. Now, most people neither smell good nor bad, it's just somehow the smell they carry.

I was in school when someone had left a jacket in the classroom. My teacher asked me if I knew whose it was, and I said "I might," and then sniffed it.
"Oh," I said, "That's Austin's."
My teacher acted surprised and called Austin over to see if it was his. It turns out it was! My teacher bent over and sniffed him
"No," she declared, "He doesn't seem to have a special Austin-scent. You know, Nast, that's really weird."

I also have a tendency to notice places' smells a lot. It doesn't have to be particularly distinctive like, say, your mother's apple pie. It could be the botany lab, or a specific supermarket, or a 99 cent store. Does anyone else have similar experiences? Or am I a total freak?

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