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#451
Or Kill Me / I have a Nightmare.....
October 17, 2006, 03:19:57 PM
Discordians, Subgenii, undecideds, lend me your ear.....

Election day cometh upon us soon.  Are you happy with the direction of your country?  Are you happy with the size of your bank account?  Are you happy with the size of your manhood/womanhood?  Have you stopped reading?  If you answered the first 3 but not the last one then you best keep moving, we don't want you.

How can we weirdos, asshats, miscreants really affect our society?  We aren't going to do it by simple housekeeping.  We need to unite.  But, we need to unite and minimize the bloodletting.  I said minimize, not eliminate, where would the fun be in that? 

Long has society lead us astray.  Long has it told us where we should and should not go.  Long has it told us what to eat and what not to eat.  Meanwhile, we Discordians have been in our little hovels spread across the globe.  We talk big talk about fucking up the system.  About burning it to the ground.  About skull fucking the Pinkos and The Normals.  But how effective can we really be if we all stick apart and stick forks in each others eyes?

That's right, we can't.  They will never take us seriously anyway.  It should never be the goal.  We aren't going to change society.  We aren't going to save the world.  We aren't going to make the Conservatives OR the Liberals accept us.  The Conservatives want to burn us at the stake.  The Liberals don't like us because we don't give them any money.  The Libertarians don't like us because we steal their pot.  The Greens don't like us because we eat meat and don't recycle our soda cans.  But more importantly, THOSE Discordians over there don't like us because we aren't THEIR kind of Discordians.

This is what defeats us EVERY SINGLE TIME.  We lose before we even begin.  The second coming becomes the third becomes the fourth becomes an empty fifth.  Can we break this viscous cycle?

I don't know.  But I'd sure as hell like to try.  What if each of us found just three Discordians, elsewhere on the infotarded superdriveway and convinced them to join our effort.  That's right, to join our effort.  Not our clique, not our all boys/girls club, not our cabal.  Bring them here with a purpose.  They've read the book, they're heard ALL of the jokes, they've had the Kerry Thornley bowl cut with the Abraham Lincoln beard.  Now's the time to cast the superficial aside and get down to the rusty brass tacks.

I propose we start a REAL network of Discordians.  Maybe we won't all hang out here, maybe we won't all hang out there, but that SHOULD NOT BE THE POINT.  If we truly wish to get the word out we need to get the lead out.  Let us not dwell on who is real and who isn't.  Let us focus, instead, on who will get real and who will not.  Who will bring the noise AND the funk, not just the noise. 

We all have busy lives in the real world.  We don't have time to dick around with popularity contests and who is going to like who.  It is time to start showing those who wish to see that they don't have to play the same old game.  There are more options than what they see on the teevee and on their ballots.  This is our chance to actually reach people.  There are people who are beginning to see that everything is fucked.  That the options they are given are all opt-outs from freedom.  So, let us get the act together, forget about OUR politics and work on defecating on THEIRS. 

Free at The Last, Free at The Last, by holy-fucking-hell, we can be Free at The Last, and so can they........
#452
Have you looked at your calendar recently?  Do you know what the day is?  Well, you probably can get a good idea just by watching the TV.  That's right, EVERY cable channel is gearing up for their "Retrospective" or "Rememberance" of THAT day.  You know, that day when those folks from Saudia Arabia decided to play chicken with the Trade Towers, the Pentagon, and a corn field.  Okay, put your goddamned pitchforks away and read the rest of this before you start your march!

That's right folks, each news network will have a different chyron or title but it will be the same sappy, country-rock laden, glossed-sob fests.  This will be one of the rare times when the coverage on Fox News isn't all that different than MSNBC's.  Oh, and the other networks will get in on it too.  HGTV will look at the pretty gardens they are planting at Ground Zero, The History channel, Discovery, and PBS will be dissecting and analyzing the event at every conceivable angle, and even the Food Network, I'm sure will have Emeril and Rachel Ray having a big food-fest for some firefighters somewhere.

So, what the fuck is your point Rev?

Well, stop and think about this.  Have you ever heard of the concept of the Smokescreen?  Here's a fun homework assignment for everybody.  Go and find out who is contributing money to these "specials."  I gurantee you somehow, somewhere, a good chunk of this money is originating from Pensylvania Avenue, or somewhere close by.  Why?  Because, they know it will work. 

Everyone wants to be a Good American(tm).  If you don't watch at least 5 9/11 specials you = Bad American(tm)/Terrorist.  That's what the TV will tell you.  "Inside the Trade Towers!  You can't miss this chilling account of what was going on as it was going on....."  Come on people, it's the 5 year anniversary!!  The Law of Fives isn't exclusive to Discordians.  You must celebrate the agony!!!

The Bush Administration knows, all too well, this significance.  They know that the Good Americans(tm) will be distracted for the next two weeks.  Donald Rumsfeld could call John Kerry Bin Laden's Butt Boy and it would be buried to page 6, and that's being annoyingly optimistic.  This is when they can get their poll numbers up while Iraq further sinks into the tarpits of Civil War.  They know how powerful this TeeVee is and how powerful the need is to be a part of something big.  Maybe you weren't there, but God Damnit if you watch Oprah's Hanky-Fest on Monday then you will be a Hero!

So, my fellow Discordians, Subgenii, etc., here's our chance to actually do something.  Here's where we can affect some change.  And what do we do?  Shut the TV off.  Shut your friends' TV off.  If you are visiting your Mom and she is watching Dr. Phil's 9/11 "Special" shut it off for them.  Everyone knows what happened.  Nothing has changed in 5 years.  People are just as dead as they were back then.  BUT, today is today.  Don't let them fall victim to the Smokescreen. 

Tell them to keep their focus on what is NOW so that the PAST isn't used to royally fuck up the FUTURE.  At least, no more than it already is.   
#453
Or Kill Me / I'm Feeling Fine.
August 28, 2006, 03:34:14 PM
Where is your faith?

Faith in Man?
Faith in Machinery?
Faith in Science?
Faith in Others?
Faith in Clarity?
Faith in Obscurity?
Faith in Order?
Faith in Chaos?
Faith in The Universe?
Faith in The Economy?
Faith in The Lord?
Faith in The Buddha?
Faith in a bag of potato chips?
Faith in Dreams?
Faith in Death?
Faith in The Ocean?
Faith in The Eyes of a Wolf?
Faith in The Eye of The Storm?
Faith in The Government?
Faith in Your Brothers?
Faith in Your Mother?
Faith in Your Father?
Faith in Destiny?
Faith in Pre-Determination?
Faith in The Truth?
Faith in Fallacy?
Faith in Faith?

#454
Or Kill Me / RWHN: From the Depths vol. 1 #2
August 17, 2006, 06:30:06 PM
Have you ever driven down one of THOSE streets.  Everyone lives near or in a city or town that has one.  It's that street you turn onto, and you start driving, and you look around, and you see it.  Utter despair.  No, really, plain, 100%, made in the good ol U.S.A. despair.  Buildings that haven't been occupied since 1986, people sitting on benches staring at their cigarrette, the one guy in a shirt and tie who has obviously turned down the wrong corner, and the Christian Mission.  Yep, it's the American Dream alive and well.  Yes, that was sarcasm.  And not nearly biting enough.

Do you even realize how bad things are here?  We're talking about poor "backwards" folks overseas blowing themselves up.  Have you seen the guy on the corner who is slowly killing himself swilling whiskey because he can't afford to do anything else?  No one will hire him.  No one will look at him.  Maybe he brought it on himself, maybe he got laid off, maybe he's not alone in his head.  But who's trying to do anything about it?  Really, who do you think is actually, actively trying to do anything about it?  That's right pal.  Nobody.

The Salvation Army, Goodwill, Missions, Shelters, it's all window dressing.  We've abandoned so many people here in the U.S. it's not even funny.  They've been written off and thrown out like stale bread.  The American Dream wasn't for them.  It was never intended to be.  Because they don't have the T.V. telling them so.  They are just collateral damage which seems perfectly acceptable the the American Government.  They are like the houses that must be plowed over to buiild that bypass.  Just worthless detritus to be paved over while constructing The American Way.  The body count grows every day.  This is a war that never ends.  The Machine will slowly, but surely, consume more and more. 

But, the good little Americans shouldn't worry about it.  Just keep watching your 'Reality' TV and ignore the Real Reality that is most likely right outside your door as we speak.  And next time you drive down THAT street you might want to scope out a nice patch of pavement.  Because don't be so sure that you won't be right there with them. 

There is no safety net anywhere!!!!
#455
Or Kill Me / RWHN: From The Depths vol. 1 #1
August 16, 2006, 05:51:03 PM
Where are you going today? Where do you think you'll be tomorrow? What Pot O'Gold(tm) do you think you're going to find at the end of their rainbow? Keep running, go ahead, you'll get there. And when you are face down in the mud, I will still raise a hand down to lift you up. But, only if you will START FUCKING LOOKING AT WHERE YOU ARE GOING! Pay Attention Damn It!

It's been surrounding you all of your life. The psychiapathetic Death Rays have been bombarding you ever since you first sat down to watch Sesame Street. And you've willingly sat their and soaked them up. Well now brother, it's time to get off of your couch. It's time to look up from the cubicle. It's time to raise your Oakley's and see all that you've been missing. They've hid possibility in plain view. And you've been all too willing to not look for it.

Today can be your day. Slough off your exoskeleton of ennui. Breathe the airs that have surrounded you all of your life. Take the first steps towards a freedom. It is a limited freedom, I will admit. You will still be within reach of The Machine. It will still surround you. But, with your new perspective, you can dance with it. Otherwise, you might as well do the Dance of The Dead.
#456
Or Kill Me / Just the Fax Ma'am.
June 26, 2006, 03:23:46 PM
This is in response, sort of, to some of the discourse about how best to go about spreading the discordianism message.  

FACT:  Grass will grow faster than Discordianism

We will not change the world overnight.  That's not the point.  The point is to change something.  Give those who will listen a chance to either find themselves or rediscover what they lost when they turned 5.

FACT:  Discordianism WILL spread by word of mouth.  (pamphlets, flyers, book swap, etc.)

How did you end up here?  Probably the same way I did.  A buddy leant you his/her copy of Principia.  A lightbult went off.  You had that moment of realization that you aren't really all that crazy for thinking the way you do.  Of course, you are living in a field of cabbages.  So, you wonder, are there others?  You Google "Principia Discordia" or "Eris" or "Malcalypse" and you end up here.  

You pick up your own copy of Principia or you print it out from this site.  You leand it to a friend from a different circle.  The lightbult may or may not light for them.  Or, they may be one of those who quote lines because they think it's punk or cool to do so.  Or, they may be the silent type who don't say anything to let on whilst inside the gears are a smokin.  You win some you lose some and you drive others batty with your "new weirdness."

So, to summarize:  

Grass grows faster than Discordianism and it WILL spread by word of mouth.  So, in other words, the word IS going to spread buy very slowly.  It may not be as sexy to go about it this was as, say, a Discordian Crusade but it most likely will be more successful.  In fact, we may already be more successful than we realize.  There may be neophytes reading these very words right now.  They are gathering up their courage to participate in the fray.  They may fear the appearance of being green or saying something that will be too dorky or PD-nerdy.  To those I say, please, join us.  The more voices we speak with the better.  The wider we will be able to cast our nets.  And do not worry, most of us can tell the difference between a cabbage and lettuce.  

Now, let us continue....
#457
Or Kill Me / Welcom to the Discordian Discotheque
June 22, 2006, 04:38:31 PM
Have you ever meandered?  Yes, you heard the question right.  Have you ever just let yourself go where it wanted to go?  Or do you fret and fear about doing that the "right" way too?  You don't have to live your life like it's a Pop Song.  Verse, Chorus, Verse, Chorus, Solo/Rap, Chorus.  Why not break out into a 30 minute Improv Jam once in awhile?

You don't need to sell-out to their mainstream life structure.  Don't cut your hair.  Don't get a "real" job.  Even if you do end up in a 3-minute Piece of Cheese you could at least try different instrumentation.  Have you ever heard "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" played on a wood saw?  Open your ears and your mind!

Have you seen Leif Garrett lately?  Brittney Spears?  Brian Wilson?  He hasn't seen himself since 1975!  Pop maims!  Pop twists!  But, alas, my friend, you cannot kill it.  It's like The Machine(tm).  It's, in fact, an implement of The Machine(tm) to keep you in the "Green Zone" of numbing "safety."  It's the trail of Reese's Pieces to keep you heading in the "right" direction.

But, you can resist.  Well, maybe you can't.  If not, do us all, and yourself, a favor... Quit reading this RIGHT NOW!  Kill yourself and sear the body!  You are only feedint IT.  You are only making it bigger.  I know it's easy.  I know it's the path of least resistence.  It's comfortable, familiar, cozy, warm, inviting, and you are gone...

We are all destined to the ultimate obscurity of non-existence.  Why not make your mark while you still can?

Here's a drum for you.  Start marching to YOUR beat!
#458
Or Kill Me / Your 24 hour source for Ennui
June 22, 2006, 04:00:23 PM
So there you sit.
You've got nothing to do.
The lawn has been mowed.
The bills have been paid.
You've walked the dog.
You finally closed the "Big Deal" with "That Company" at work.
You got the 3% raise that keeps you nipping at inflation's heels.
You now get to walk around with the shiny collection plate at church.
You finally figured out 23 across in last week's TV Guide's crossword. (turned out to be sire)

But...
Something is missing.
There seems to be an emptiness...
A nagging absence of something you need to fill...
And so...
You once again turn to Dr. Phil and Emeril Lagasse and Oprah Winfrey and Joe Scarborough and Nancy Grace and Simon Cowell and Glen Beck and Don Imus and Felicity Huffman and Peter Griffin and Stan Marsh and Dave Chappelle and Jorja Fox and Hermen Munster and Donald Trump and ...

...it's still getting darker...
#459
"The faces may change but the outcome remains the same."

What happens when you finally become "enlightened"?  What happens when you have that moment where you awake from your societal slumber?

Do you hear a clarion of trumpets?
--No, that's a siren.  Move along citizen!  Nothing to see here.

Do doves fly about your head?
--Um, yeah, where do you think that bird shit on your collar came from?

Do you see Angels and Bunnies?
--Sure, and they'll give you mediocre head for a Benjamin.

Does the weight on your shoulders disappear?
--Fuck no!  Get back to work.

So why bother?
It's your only chance to survive the way YOU want to survive.  To survive with your true self intact.  To avoid the reprogramming.  Sure, they will still try to herd you in a certain direction, into the corrall where they can keep track of you.  But with your wits about you, there may be a crack to exploit here and there.  Those armed with THEMSELVES have the best chance.  

So, this is a warning to you lurkers and noobs.  Congratulations on finding the PrincipiaDiscordia.  We're glad you enjoyed the book and have found some kinship here.  But you should be aware, this "lifechanging event" isn't going to make it any easier.  You are still in the same Black Iron Prison.  Now is not the time for the sigh of relief.
#460
Or Kill Me / Stupid Human Tricks
May 11, 2006, 06:01:42 PM
This thought just popped into my head and I will share it with you all now.

Okay, so the Sun has just started to die.  We know that we are going to be bathed in its death-throe-radiation in a matter of days.  What will people do?

Go to their local supermarket and buy a whole bunch of crap.  

Where did this flight response come from?  

Do you suppose cavemen did this sort of thing everytime they saw a grey cloud?  

People have some pretty whacky priorities in their lives.  

This is the end of this semi-choesive/quasi rantical thought stream.  You may return to a more interesting thread now.  Thank you and good afternoon.
#461
Recently there was a post in Apple Talk about happiness.  This isn't necessarily a response to that or not a response to that.  Maybe it's a parallel, a tangent, or a perpendicular.  Put any geometry into it you wish but here is my angle:

I'm often referred to at work as "The Dark One."  Admittedly, a part of me revels in that moniker, however another part of me is slightly annoyed at the simplicity that is applied to that term.  Now, the author of said remark is no bright bulb let me tell you and probably can't grasp how insultingly banal her words are.  

Yeah, I write "dark" poetry.  I like Death Metal and I often fantasize about the world ending in the death throes of the expiring Sun.  But that doesn't mean I dwell and steep into the black waters 24/7.  And besides, who said it had to be that simple?

It's not black and white or black and light.  Yeah, I think the human experiment here on planet Earth is pretty much a failed one.  Mankind has come up with a few good things like medicine, space flight, the wheel but even those have led to modern human disasters.  Medicine has prolonged the human life span to the point where Cancers and Heart Diseases are rampant.  Space flight has led to the pollution of the heavens with space junk and the wheel has led to air pollution and road rage.  Okay, already some of you might already be thinking "boy what a gloomy gus."  I prefer to think of it as being illuminated to the realities of humanity.

However, I'm still alive.  I've been put on this planet for a duration and I might as well make the most of it.  I have found a beautiful member of the opposite gender to share this duration and together we created another lifeforce to share the experience with.  We can together gaze at the wonders of the heavens above.  We can together breathe the air, albeit polluted, and enjoy the happiness of our existence as a family.

The key is multitasking.  There are a lot of simpletons who can only concentrate on one train of thought for any 24 hour period.  I'm able to have my dark side co-exist with my rationality.  I can recognize that humanity is screwed and has no hope but the rational side knows that my part (and my familie's) in this experiment is but a brief flash of time.  I can revel in the fantazy of the Earth being swallowed hole by the Sun knowing in my rational mind that my family line will be long gone by then.  I can enjoy a brutal song about someone getting their head ground into soilent green and then sing Old MacDonald with my Daughter.  And that's why Goths are so ghey.  They just don't get it because they are so adamant about being dark and gloomy that they miss the point.  

So, despite my co-workers insipid insights, I'm actually a quite happy and content person.  I do enjoy the darker side of things but I know enough that you have to walk in the light some too.  Otherwise, how the hell will you ever see where you are going?
#462
Or Kill Me / You've got no legs?
November 04, 2005, 02:55:40 AM
Don't come crawling to me!
#463
Or Kill Me / Rant on Platitudes.
October 25, 2005, 05:36:15 PM
So....I've written in the past about my grandmother.  She was recently diagnosed with a cancer that her primary careless physician had refused to diagnose.  Anyway, I shall not retread on ground well covered.  She passed away yesterday morning.  

The subject of this rant is platitudes.  The usual thing you hear from someone when you tell them a loved one dies is "I'm sorry."  Now let me say right away that I understand that a lot of people mean well when they say that and it's just that they don't know what else to say.  But I guess I'm of the mind that it's best just not to say anything.  But I guess it's just human nature to have to say something.....

But it isn't necessary.  As far as I'm concerned I'd rather you not say anything if that's all you can come up with.  For example, I informed my boss that I would be taking my 3 days of bereavement leave.  He said he "was sorry about my Grandmother."  But it was so painfully, obviously, insincere.  That is more insulting to me than just not saying anything.  I'm not an idiot I know how to read people's voices.  Yeah, you know what, it does suck for me especially given the circumstances.  But fake and insincere sympathy does not help.  And honestly, I don't care if other people care.  My sadness and anger for the loss of my grandmother is not going to be lessened or cured by anyone.  

Why, in our society, have we become so numb and brainless that we have to be so insipid in our communication?  And further why do we feel the need to say something when we can't think of anything to say?  In those situations, silence is bliss.  I don't want the void to be filled with meaningless drivel and chatter.  A hug from someone I love and a shoulder to lean on is all I need.  I need my silence and space and would just rather the trite phrases not be uttered at all.  No words are going to bring back my grandmother, they are not going to ease the mourning, so with respect all I ask of the world is to let me be and respect my silence.  That will do me much more good than some clumsy words.
#464
Or Kill Me / Rant from What's-His-Name? Geena vs. W.
October 17, 2005, 01:45:17 PM
Poor George, his poll numbers are slipping.  Meanwhile, at Disney, I mean ABC Ms. Davis as "Commander In Chief" is enjoying skyrocketing ratings.  Is it because everyone is intrigued with the possibility of a woman as president?  Maybe, but even W. doesn't overact as much as Geena Davis does.  But, she hasn't started a war yet because she was bored or mad at some dictator who got one over her pa.  Not yet anyway.  Also, she seems to have an uncanny knack of being able to verbalize complete sentences with all of her vowels intact.  Sure, Geena is working from a script but so isn't W.  He's just not as good at mesmerization.  I mean, c'mon when you're spending your college days at Bill's Bar instead of the library your bound to flunk a couple of english classes.  Of course, I'm waiting for either Rush, Hannity, or Tony Snow to start accusing ABC of prepping the American Voting Population for Hillary's run in '08.  Regardless, my vote will go to the real hope for America.  That's right, Alan Alda/Radar in 08!
#465
Or Kill Me / Time to dismantle the Pedestals.
October 05, 2005, 02:44:45 PM
Okay this rant is based on a personal situation.  Right, which ones aren't.  

When I was a kid growing up we'd all play the game of what we wanted to be when we grew up.  Of course I never said, oh, oh I want to be an Assistant Manager at a Mall Retail store but it seemed to happen anyway.  And of course when we were playing the game or our parents and teachers were asking us what we wanted to be you'd hear the obligatory President, Lawyer, Doctor, etc.  Your parents would say, when you were young, "oh you can grow up and be a doctor and make lots of money for us." or some drivel like that.  Doctors have always been held up high in society and I'm beginning to wonder more and more, why?

Why do we hold up someone who has a "practice."  When are the going to start doing it for real?  I'm sure that's what my dying grandmother is asking herself.

My Grandmother is dying of cancer.  Cancer that went undetected for at least a year because her doctor refused to entertain the possibility that she had cancer.  She'd say, "I've had sisters who died of cancer."  Doc says, "Nope, it's not cancer."  Grandma would say, "I'm afraid I may have cancer, can you check for that?"  Doc would say, "Hmm, nope you definitely don't have cancer.  X-Rays look great."  Grandma goes to different hospital in Bangor, Maine and they look at her records and say......

"Uh, duh, it's cancer and it's everywhere."  Unfortunately, it looks like this second opinion has come too late.  

My grandmother's health was held hostage by a doctors ignorance and refusal to probe further.  She lives in a remote part of Maine where there really aren't any easy options for second opinions.  There's one major hospital and Bangor is a good 3 hours away and for someone of her age that isn't an easy task.  

So, I find myself asking, why do doctors get held in such high esteem?  They are just as fallible as any others in any other profession.  I know, I know.  They save lives.  But how many do they ruin with incompetence?  I'm sure FEMA saved at least one life in New Orleans but how many did they fuck up?  

I'm not saying doctors are bad evil but they aren't perfect and yet our society seems to deify them to a certain point.  We want our kids to be doctors.  We elect them to Congress.  I just don't see the justification for their pedestal status.  If you get a good doctor who really listens and helps you through what ails you that is great.  And that should be encouraged and rewarded.  However, I think there need to be greater consequences for those doctors, like the one who was mis-treating my grandmother, who through arrogance and stubborness condemn their patients to a sentence of a long painful death.  

May what comes around, go around!
#466
Bring and Brag / A creation by my daughter.
October 03, 2005, 03:04:40 PM


Oh yeah and Thom Yorke called and said he wants to use this for the OK Computer II album.
#467
Bring and Brag / Martian Sunrise (another poem)
September 15, 2005, 02:03:47 PM
Wake from your sleep
You made it little one
The travel was long and lonely
And now you've arrived.
Now open like the morning flowers
Reveal your precious cargo.
Your tiny passenger is with you too
And now her adventure begins.
You train your big eyes
On the little girl.
So innocent yet magnificent she looks
She's tucked into her fetal position
Until the time comes at hand.
Then she will rise and descend.
Her exploration will begin
On her brand new world.
When she gets down on all sixes
She will turn her gaze to you,
Your exquisite form,
Your beautiful blue petals.

Now, as a young bird
She must voyage away form the nest.
So many are depending on her
To seek out answers ot puzzling questions.
But you will continue to keep a watch
On your little comrade.
As she travels she'll meet new friend,
Barnacle Bill, Flattop, Shark, and even Yogi.
You watch as she brushes up to them
With a long embrace.
As the long days go on
Mysteries will be solved and new ones born.
Your little one will slowly traverse
The ancient cold and dry flood plain.
It's a place water once flowed
Now, aeons later, water is no more.

This is soon a solemn occassion
For your life was designed for high productivity
But, alas, brevity was also a part of that plan.
The distant Sun provides you with vital energy
But soon even the spectacular rays won't help you.
Your vision will fade and you'll lose sight
Of the rusty red and your little friend.
She will turn and look on you
Knowing her time is soon to come.

Your lives are not in vain
Knowledge you will gain.
Knowledge that will be given back
To your distant creator.
What you and she learn will add on
To what the Great Vikings discovered
Maybe it will help those
Back on the place you left on your interstellar voyage.

Now, the sun starts its ritual descent
And your eyelids are becoming heavy.
You must close them and relax
Your work for the day is done.
The little one will stop and rest too.
It has a long day ahead of it tomorrow.
And so do you....so rest....
We will watch out for you.
Goodnight.
#468
If I had a hammer
I would hammer a nail into the floor.
I would then paint the head of the nail
a nice shade of flourescent orange
to nicely clash with the brown tile.
Next I would pick up my remote control
and step outside.
I would push the big red button that says "detonate"
and the lovely, flourescent orange nail
would be airborne along with the rest
of my house.
Boredom can kill a fellow you know.
#469
Or Kill Me / Stupid-Human Tricks v. 1 --RWHN
September 13, 2005, 08:31:31 PM
Okay, so I trimmed my beard down this morning.  It was starting to get quite bushy.  At least that's what my wife and fifty other people have told me recently.  As I was doing so it dawned on me that when I go into work tomorrow I'm going to get the inane, insipid obvious observation from my Boss.  

"You shaved your beard huh?"

Which is the basis of this rant.  Why do some people, okay most people, find it necessary to vocalize painfully obvious observations.  For that matter, why do people need to vocalize so often?  Of course after the above observation I will get the follow-up question:

"So, why did you do that?"

Of course I just respond by saying, "Because I wanted to." and walking away.  Because engaging in any further conversation would be very painful for me.  And my boss engaing in anymore thought may be lethal for him.  

"It's raining pretty good eh?"

So-called ice breakers.  You know, sometimes the ice is better left unbroken.  I mean, when I go into work tomorrow I'm not going to go up to my boss and say, "Hmm, still bald huh?" or "Still an utter moron eh?"

They say ignorance is bliss.  Well, I think silent ignorance would be even more blissful.  Some things are better left unsaid and, in my opinion, most people are better left unheard.
#470
Bring and Brag / Little Chaplin What's-Her-Name
September 13, 2005, 06:46:06 PM
edit: pics removed
#471
Bring and Brag / Gelatin Crematorium
August 29, 2005, 08:14:07 PM
Gelatin Crematorium

Green Jello is warm
And it makes me want to scream.
I want to sleep in it
And have wet, green dreams.
So give me Green Jello
Until I can't take anymore.
Maybe I'll give you some
And then kick you out the door.
#472
Bring and Brag / Some published poetry.
August 25, 2005, 02:59:15 PM
Plywood

Liquid blue drops from above.
It enters into a cold metal chamber
Where it is squeezed and gushed through
A revolving silver-like sphere rolling
Along a vast plain of fibrous planks
Matted together.  With the lines of blue
Traveling across every so often.
And over the horizon I see
An encased slice of life
Between scorched sand and
Processed pulp.  With a border
Of shiny gray around it.  
It is a slice that used to be
A part of me.  It was cut from
My ever-beating heart and captured
In a limbo I can never access.

Everything Changes

Length of day light swiftly shrinks,
And the warmth evaporates into space.

Transformation.

Vibrant, green leaves lose vitality,
And shrivel into withered fragility.

Decay.

Summer dew is ushered off,
And Jack's soldiers take guard.

Changing.

Mother Nature's citizens scavenge and scurry,
And layer their bodies in nutritious warmth.

Anticipation.

White flakes of pureness float to the ground,
And the land slips into quiet slumber.

Shhhhhh.....
#473
Okay, so I'm watchin the Today Show.  I watch it mostly for the weather and Al Roker's corny jokes.  Damn, they had some scrub in for Al for the weather.  Anyhoo.....

So Lauer is interviewing this guy and his wife.  The guy is a convicted level 1 sex-offender.  They are being interviewed after this piece they just ran about sex-offenders and how some states are strenghening their statutes concerning such offenses.  

So, again, the guy is a level 1 sex-offender.  He was convicted for having sex with a 16-year old.  This guy's in his late 30's so he was definitely doing something he knew was against the law.  So, he and his wife are bitching and moaning because they want to move into a bigger house but are having a "difficult time" because he is registered as a sex-offender.  A level-1 offender apparently is the lesser of the 3 levels.  I think it's along the same lines of the Mary Kay whatever her name is.  Anyway, just by virtue of being a convicted sex-offender he must be registered and so there are limits to where he can live.  (e.g. not near schools, daycares, etc.)  So they are upset with these restrictions.  They feel it is unfair that their life has to be so difficult because of all this.

Well, jeebus christ none of this would have happened if Mr. Creepo would've kept it in his pants.  Holy mother of pearl who gives a fuck about your so-called plight!  You assaulted a 16-year old girl.  Oh, okay so you want a medal for not being Jeffrey Dahmer?  If I were the father of this girl you would be doing a dirt dance with the worms.  You know what the so-called American Dream (if it even exists) is generally reserved for those who don't screw little girls.  It's called dealing with the fucking consequences.  Congratulations, you did your time!  You gave in to your inner demons once.  So society is supposed to take your word that you're not going to do it again?  Nope pal, it doesn't work that way.  That's why you are a registered sex-offender.  So quit your bitchin.  

Oh, by the way.  Stay the hell away from Maine.  Because there's at least one person in this state ready to welcome you with open arms.  I'm thinking a battle-axe and a blowtorch.   :twisted: