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Topics - East Coast Hustle

#101
...you've gotta stop adding me to facebook groups. ESPECIALLY if they have any political content. They're funny and clever, but not so funny and clever that I'd like to jeopardize my job over them.

PLEASE STOP FORCE-ADDING ME TO THE GROUPS. I don't want to have to defriend anyone to protect the vanilla-ness of my public internet profile.
#102
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/krokodil-the-drug-that-eats-junkies-2300787.html

Whatever you do, DO FUCKING NOT google image it. I'm pretty sure this is the single worst thing I have ever seen that's actually real.
#103
:lulz:

Nigel might be kind and non-confrontational even to a complete waste of carbon like yourself, but I'm not.


Christian Blue Winterhawk is like a pseudointellectual Tony Robbins.

Christian Blue Winterhawk is reputed to be a thief and a homewrecker.

Christian Blue Winterhawk probably should lay off the hippie lettuce.

Christian Blue Winterhawk.



Christian Blue Winterhawk.





Christian Blue Winterhawk.










CHRISTIAN BLUE WINTERHAWK.
#105
Or Kill Me / On Pride
July 19, 2011, 07:45:02 PM
Your pride is a monster and if you don't learn to control it that monster will eat you.
#107
Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / HEY PAYNE!
July 14, 2011, 09:42:41 PM
I've got $5 (that's about two of your funny-looking "L" moneys) that says there at least 3 more people who follow your example by the end of the weekend.
#108
Srsly, I just managed to resist pressing the big red button the first time I saw it.
#109
Fujimori's daughter is running for President in Peru, and she might even win.  :horrormirth:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20110520/ap_on_re_la_am_ca/lt_peru_fujimori_legacy
#110
It's normal for people to fantasize about attractive celebrities. What straight dude wouldn't like a romp with Scarlett Johannsen or Halle Berrey? What straight girl doesn't get all fluttery once in a while thinking about Hugh Jackman or Idris Elba?

Totally normal.



However...


CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE FUCKING EXPLAIN TO ME WHY I HAVE AN OVERWHELMING FEELING OF LUST FOR MEGHAN MCCAIN?!? I WANT TO PURIFY MY BRAIN WITH FIRE.

:x
#112
The proper abbreviation for "Rip City Hustle" is ECH, not RCH.

#113
...nothing at all. Nothing to see here. Nothing going on.

ECH,
Doesn't care about the Bruins. Doesn't care about the Bruins. Doesn't care about the Bruins. GONNA MAKE THE LIGHTNING LOOK LIKE POND-HOCKEY BENCHWARMERS. Doesn't care about the Bruins. Doesn't care about the Bruins.
#114
I JUST RAN INTO THE FUCKING PERUVIAN GUY FROM THAT ROOFTOP PARTY ON MASS AVE AT THE FUCKING FRED MEYER ON HAWTHORNE HERE IN PDX. NO TROLL. HE ACTUALLY RECOGNIZED ME FIRST. WE'RE KIND OF LOOKING AT EACH OTHER AND HE BUSTS OUT WITH "THIS MIGHT SOUND WEIRD, BUT...ARE YOU SPENCER'S FRIEND WHO RAN ACROSS THE ROOFTOPS FROM THE COPS WHEN THEY BUSTED THAT PARTY IN BOSTON A COUPLE YEARS AGO?"

NO FUCKING TROLL.
#115
And sometimes you really ARE being watched, and sometimes they really ARE out to get you.

http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/the-long-con/Content?oid=7989613

QuoteBecause this story has to start somewhere, let's begin on any given night in early 2009. It's probably drizzling, and a cluster of people is standing outside the wooden apartment building on the corner of 11th Avenue and Pike Street, the one with motel-style exterior hallways and severely chipped paint. A lightbulb above one door is glowing green, a signal that visitors are welcome. When the lightbulb glows yellow, visitors are supposed to come back later. When the lightbulb glows red, they are supposed to keep away.

Sometimes when visitors enter the apartment, they're asked to hand over any weapons they might be carrying—hardly anybody ever is—and sometimes there's a cursory pat-down. Inside the apartment are a lot of artists, plus a military guy or two on a night away from the base. Some are sitting around a card table playing poker. Others are sitting on couches and chairs, smoking and drinking.

They're all being watched, but only one of them knows it.

There's Mia Brown, in the corner, who is into scuba diving and spends her days working with the homeless. There's Jake, a musician. There's Jimmy the Dwarf, an actor and model who works with a local circus troupe. There's Brady McGarry, who has devoted his free time over the years to political and environmental causes. There's DK Pan, a Butoh dancer, performance artist, and curator. There's Jaybird, a skinny kid in leather quietly trying to peddle small bags of cocaine. There's Thoren Honeycutt, who has a few priors for theft, including theft of a firearm. And there's Rick Wilson—tall, broad-shouldered, wearing a suit. This is Rick's apartment, called Rick's Cafe (un)American during Rick's after-hours parties.

For a time, some members of this crowd threw these after-hours parties at a place called the Cthulhu Building, just three blocks uphill from Rick's. Later, some members of this crowd will throw after-hours parties at a place in Belltown called Cafe Corsair. Attendees often referred to them as speakeasies, although the people running them merely thought of them as private parties in private places. Court documents would later call them "underground illegal gambling enterprises (concurrent with illegal liquor sales)." A lot of people went to these parties—they were big events with bands and burlesque dancers. Guests were encouraged to dress up and usually did. Sometimes it seemed like half the city was there in suits and vintage dresses: artists, activists, politicians, cultural bigwigs, musicians, computer programmers, soldiers, criminals.

A lot of these parties happened because Rick's good friend Bryan T. Owens had money and connections. Not everyone liked Bryan, but because he was Rick's good friend he was often around—drinking Maker's and Coke after-hours, playing poker, telling stories. He had a bald head and a goatee and a blustery bro-dude personality—one of the party regulars described him as a "mini–Fred Durst"—but he was a trust-fund baby and he was generous with his cash.

Shit gets deeply fucked-up from there, and Kiley does a great job of trying to document exactly how many millions of taxpayer dollars and police and FBI man-hours were wasted on this bizarre and discomforting case.
#116
ASK ME ANYTHING!
#117
A wise man would lay odds in Vegas on me posting an "ask me anything!" thread before midnight.
#118
YOU SAID YOU WERE PLAYING METAL TONIGHT, BUT THEN I TUNED IN AND IT WAS FUCKING SLIPKNOT.

IS THIS SOME "STAR WARS" HOMAGE? IT'S A TRAP, RIGHT?

:argh!:
#119
Well? What do you spags think?
#122
Literate Chaotic / The Sergeant In The Snow
April 11, 2011, 12:23:33 AM
QuoteThe best WW II memoir I know about The Sergeant in the Snow, by Mario Rigoni Stern.

Just proves my bad-war-equals-good-memoir theory, that the best WW II memoir would be by an Italian, because you can't get much more messed up than Italy's adventures in WW II, and this guy went through the worst of them, the encirclement of the Italian forces in Ukraine in the winter of 1942-43. Mussolini had sent a small Italian contingent along on Operation Barbarossa. So did almost every European country east of Germany; when the Wehrmacht has just conquered all of Western Europe while losing only 30,000 kia in the process, they sure look like a winner, and everybody wanted shares in the company. Nobody in Europe discovered that "Fascism is a bad thing" until Stalingrad fell, when they all sorta had the big born-again moment while pissing their pants in terror.
So in the Summer of 1942, the Italians doubled down on their Eastern Front contribution, sending almost a quarter of a million soldiers to man a section of the Wehrmacht's line along the Don River in Ukraine. Some of those units were good, especially the Alpini.

The Italian Army had developed very good mountain troops and tactics fighting the Austrians in the Alps in WW I, and the three divisions of Alpini Mussolini sent east could have made a real contribution if they'd been assigned to the Caucasus, where they were supposed to go. But the Germans were always too arrogant to use their allies effectively, and they did it again this time, sending these mountain troops to hold the line in flat farmland along the Don where all their training was wasted, and their small, portable weaponry was guaranteed to be outgunned by massed Soviet armor.

Mario Rigoni Stern, the man who wrote The Sergeant in the Snow, was a sergeant in the Tridentina Division of the Alpini, the best of all. His book describes the quiet time, almost happy, when he and his division held the line by the river, and then the collapse of the whole line in mid-winter. Only a few of the Italians on the Eastern Front made it out of "the Bag" the Soviets caught most of the Wehrmacht's allied armies in that winter. Rigoni Stern was one of the few to escape, and to his dying day (he lived until 2008), the thing that made him proudest is that he led a group of 70 Italian soldiers out of that bag without losing a single one.

full review by the one and only War Nerd at http://exiledonline.com/wn-blog-day-21-brechers-booke-nooke/

#123
Best Mercury comments thread maybe ever. In fact, this one is just as good (in a different way) as the anarchist band names thread on Blogtown.

http://www.portlandmercury.com/portland/the-pickup-artist/Content?oid=3719847
#124
A band I've always hated has made a pretty good song and video about what Roger does on weekends.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egG7fiE89IU
#125
A friend of mine up north referred to Portland today as "Seattle's Mexico".


I like it even harder because it means that Vancouver is Washington's El Paso. :lulz:
#126
 :x

I have been abysmally ill for the past 2+ weeks. I even called into work sick one day, and that NEVER happens. At first, it was a nasty cold. Spent a few days feverish and horking up volkswagen-sized lung oysters. But even after the cold was obviously long gone, I was still sick. And a weird kind of sick. Sleeping too much, pooping nothing but foul greenish water (at extreme velocity too, but I digress), muddled, depressed, easily distracted (those who know me well know how truly strange these symptoms are; I am a highly-focused insomniac who is almost physically incapable of being bummed out), and unable to eat without feeling sicker with every swallow.

Turns out that last bit was not the symptom, but the cause.


I have developed a food allergy, and unfortunately it's one that's probably going to effectively end my career. I'm gonna keep working on the ship for a while, since I know what those guys like and know how to cook it without needing to taste everything all the time. I also have enough latitude in my budget there to buy separate groceries for myself. And the money is really good, but...unless I intend to cook on the same ship with the exact same crew for the rest of my life, I'm gonna have to find something else to do pretty soon. I can save enough to put myself through 4 years of school pretty quickly. I can save enough to put myself through 2 years of school on my next trip out. But I've gotta have something to go to school for.

ITT, you suggest ideas for a new career. My only concrete requirement is that I be able to make at least $50K/yr to start with a degree (bare minimum - I'm not going to school to take a pay cut) and that I have potential to eventually earn at least $100K/yr.
#127
...I'm absolutely flabbergasted at how so many people here are willing to waste so much time/effort/content/energy on stupid internet-based collections of superstitious hillbilly retards.

I mean, really, why does anyone give a fuck about TCC or MW? It's like a kid with a magnifying glass taking it personally when a random ant manages to bite his toe.
#133
I haven't forgotten that I owe you both prizes. I was sick as hell for most of the last 2 weeks, and I'd rather make you wait than send you something half-assed and 2nd rate. But I understand the frustration of having to wait for your winnings, so to keep you sated until I can deliver the goods, here's a present for you both:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OE2l6CPna4M&feature=related
#134
The homicide rate in the Virgin Islands has gotten bad.  So bad that the government no longer publishes numbers related to it, and the territory's MEs and judges do anything they can to either label a death as something other than a homicide or to bring lesser charges/drop charges altogether. In fact, if you call the VIPD and ask about it, you will be hung up on. I spent half a day digging through the VI Daily News archives and bugging one of my cousins who works in the legislature there, and got something approaching a reasonable figure.

The per-capita homicide rate for the entire USVI is 51 murders per 100,000 people. (The absolute accuracy of these numbers is still highly questionable as many homicides never get reported at all and the actual population of the territory is higher than the official count due to rampant and constant illegal immigration from down-island.) For comparison's sake, the homicide rate for the USA has been between 5 and 6 per 100,000 for several years. If you break it down further, island by island, the rate on St. Thomas is 68.4 murders per 100,000 people.

That's fucking insane.

Let's compare:

Baghdad: 48 murders per 100,000 people

Colombia: Peaked around 66 per 100,000 in the early 2000's and is now around 35 per 100,000

Jamaica: generally considered to have the highest homicide rate of any sovereign nation in the world at 58.8 per 100,000

In the US, the worst spots are New Orleans (52 per 100,000), Detroit, and St. Louis (both at 40 per 100,000).

As near as I can tell (at least among parts of the world where records of things are kept), St. Thomas is the deadliest place on earth not currently undergoing an armed conflict.

Don't worry, though...we NEVER kill tourists. So come on down and spend some money in the territory. Just don't leave the resort/shopping center/waterfront.
#135
No, seriously. I think I'm about to have had my fill of Portland. This town amuses me in the sense that a scientist might be amused by the goings-on in a particularly interesting petri dish, but I don't think it's where I should be living. I've been here for about a year and a half now (well, I've only actually been here for about 10 months because of the nature of my career, but still...) and the only friends I have made are the perverts I work with at the bear bar when I'm home, the roommates of my friend who moved here from Maine a year before I did, a handful of PD spags, and the downstairs neighbor who wears sweatpants in public. And it's not for lack of trying. I'm a friendly and outgoing person. Some might say I'm way too outgoing, but still...they hate me for it here. Polite reserve bordering on timidity is the order of the day here and I don't know how much longer I can stand it. I've been going up to Pugetopolis on my days off once every 2 or 3 weeks, ostensibly to visit friends up there but mostly to comfort myself with familiar cultural trappings. Enjoying, if you will, the relative bustle and aggression of a place that, for the 12 years or so that I lived there, I constantly felt was too politely reserved for my tastes.

I need to find a new haunt. One of my favorite things about my life is that my job is not tied to where I live, so I can live any-fucking-where I want, within reason (the company probably won't pay my airfare to and from the ship from, say, Singapore). I'm really not feeling moving back to any of the places in the states that I've already lived. This leaves out Pugetopolis, Portland, LA, Metro Detroit, Maine, and Mammoth Lakes, CA.

I'm not feeling serious winters. this leaves out New England, most of Canada, Minneapolis/St. Paul, and Siberia.

I'm just as open to the idea of moving somewhere that might not be a perfect fit for me but will offer a cultural and social challenge as I am to the idea of moving somewhere that's perfect for me.

I'm probably stuck in Portland until the end of 2011, so I have plenty of time to research suggestions and possibly even travel to/through anywhere I think is promising.

So start suggesting places already!
#136
apparently, your cities are now "underrated" (which, of course, means overrated). Get ready for the inevitable influx of (more) aging hipsters and (even more) retired boomers.

http://travel.yahoo.com/p-interests-38446701
#137
WE DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR SCREENNAME TO "HOT CARL".

THAT IS ALL.
#138




I will declare a winner when I wake up on thursday, and that person shall receive some physical trinket of my appreciation should they have the testicular fortitude to provide me with a valid mailing address. No limit on entries per person, however repeated subsequent efforts may be judged as being less funny than they actually are so try to use your good ones first.
#139
Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / HEY ROGER!
February 09, 2011, 08:02:55 PM
I just noticed that the synthetic urine I keep around just in case is manufactured in Oro Valley.

What are the chances that this stuff is actually synthetic and not just a brilliant entrepreneurial move by a guy willing to collect bum pee?
#140
Or Kill Me / Mission Statement
January 12, 2011, 06:49:55 PM
Who are we?

We're the Giving People. We're all about giving you more of what you want in quantities you can't possibly need. We're going to force-feed your head until you've got mental fois gras coming out your ears. We're committed to rekindling your commitment to Sparkle Motion. We do these things and more, at prices you can barely almost afford, because we KNOW in our HEARTS that too much is NEVER enough.

Who are we?

We're the providers. We'll tell you what you want while we give you what you need and tell you that you can trade it in as a 20% down payment on what you want. We're the Pay-It-Forward People. You'll never notice how hard we're fucking you in the ass because we've made sure that you'll be too busy buggering someone else while we're doing it. It feels good to give, doesn't it?

Who are we?

We're the Growing People. We've counteracted the recession with our innovative hiring practices. We know how to get more done with less, and we're making you know how as well. Spreading the message and teaching the methods, that's our way. More jobs for less wages. We're the Efficiency People. We won't need to replace you with a robot because we can replace you with 3 part-time Yous for less money.

Who are we?
#141
Are we still meeting up at the Slingshot Lounge tomorrow? If so, what time?
#142
OK Spags, so I'm gonna be driving to Maine in a few weeks. Leaving PDX on January 23rd or 24th, have to be in Maine NO LATER than January 30th, as I have to fly back to work in Virginia on February 1st and I need a day in Maine to get my vehicle worked on and get my storage unit emptied out. When my next job is over (it's only a 2 week contract but it's gonna be a brutal 2 weeks 300 miles offshore in the North Atlantic in February) I will be flying from Virginia back to Maine, then driving from Maine back to PDX, probably leaving Maine sometime around February 17th or 18th.

The first leg of the tour is gonna have to be a speed run, so if you're not on the I-84/I-80 corridor, don't bother asking if I'll stop through. The return leg of the tour, however, is going to be a bit more leisurely and I may have the time and means to wander a bit further off the beaten track.

Before it comes up, allow me to clarify that I probably will NOT be able to deviate as far as Tucson, but that I have a separate trip to LA coming up later in the spring that I am intending to combine with a night or two of harassing the Tucsonites.

Anyone who wants to drink a beer with me, post ITT. Those with free crash space move to the top of the list, though since my vehicle is rigged to be able to sleep 2 people comfortably, I won't be put out if you wanna get drunk but don't want me stinking up your living space.

Nobody who spends a night carousing with ECH is ever the same afterward, so hurry up and reserve your spot now!
#143
Really, this is your own fault anyway. If you hadn't pussed out after Katrina and played a season and a half in Oklahoma City, nobody would have ever suspected that OKC could support an NBA franchise and they never would have stolen our Sonics. Now your own fans don't even bother to show up to your games (in spite of the fact that your team is highly competitive, fun to watch, and has the best point guard alive on its roster) and your low attendance is going to trigger a clause that allows the Hornets to break their lease.

The NBA has assumed control of the team in lieu of the owner's financial inability to continue to run the team. They are "looking for a local buyer" and are "committed to trying to keep the team in New Orleans". Those of use who were Sonics fans have heard those lines before. They were lies then and they are, hopefully, lies now. Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer has sold $1.4 billion worth of stock and has been very vocal about wanting to bring the NBA back to Seattle (or, more likely, Bellevue where all the rich corporate supporters live).

The other cities in supposed contention as an eventual destination for the Hornets have glaring problems. KC has an NBA-ready arena, but it has about half the population of the Seattle area and nothing even remotely resembling an interested buyer. Anaheim and San Jose have existing teams in their media markets that will do everything in their power to prevent having to share that revenue with a new team, and nothing remotely resembling an interested buyer. You were gifted with a franchise that had every opportunity to be a contender, and you have done nothing to support them. I won't feel the tiniest bit of guilt about stealing your team (which you stole from Charlotte in the first place anyway), and there are approximately 4 million other people who feel the same way I do.

Screw you, New Orleans. I can't wait to see Chris Paul wearing gold and green. I can't wait to see Gary Payton's jersey finally have a chance to be hung from the rafters. I can't wait to see Squatch doing acrobatic trampoline-assisted dunks at halftime. It's as inevitable and undeniable as a hurricane, New Orleans. Your basketball team is going to blow out of town again, and this time it's not coming back.

THE SONICS ARE COMING BACK. LONG LIVE THE SONICS!
#144
Pasta Arrabiata alla Crema with Italian Sausage

this recipe serves 8; amounts can be adjusted down for fewer servings, but after you taste it you will hate yourself for not having made the full amount

you will need:
6-7 links of good italian sausage
4 pounds of heirloom tomatoes
6 oz of pancetta
1 medium yellow onion
4 large cloves of garlic
2 tbsp of red pepper flakes
some Extra Virgin Olive Oil
1 pint of heavy cream
2 lbs of spaghetti noodles
8 sprigs of fresh basil
1/2 pint of Ricotta Cheese


Cook 6-7 links of good italian sausage in boiling water (do not brown them). Set aside to cool.

Concasse about 4 pounds of good heirloom tomatoes (that means blanch them, peel off the skin and remove the seeds, and dice the remaining tomato flesh). If you can't be bothered to do a proper concasse, you can cheat and use 4 15oz cans of diced tomatoes but then you can't call it "Arrabiata". Arrabiata sauce requires fresh tomatoes.

Heat a stainless steel pan (or heavy aluminum, if you're ghetto) over medium heat. Do not use a nonstick pan.

Mince 4 large cloves of garlic and one medium yellow onion and dice 6 oz of pancetta. If you can't get pancetta, don't use bacon as a substitute, use some diced hard salami instead.

Actually, fuck you. Go get some fucking pancetta. Or go to McDonalds if you can't be arsed to do this right.

Once the pan is hot, add a squirt of XVOO and the pancetta. Once that begins to render, add the onions and garlic. Add the onions first, then add the garlic when the onions just start turning translucent.

Slice the sausage links on the bias and add the sausage to the pan along with 2 tbsp of red pepper flakes. You don't want to brown the onions, so just when they barely begin to caramelize, add the tomatoes and 1 cup of water.

Once the sauce begins to simmer, turn the heat to low and let it simmer for 20-30 minutes. The sauce shouldn't get thick at this point (it will thicken later so just trust me on this for now) so if it does, add some more water until it's sort of thin but not watery. During this time, bring a large stockpot full of heavily salted water to a boil, and put another stainless steel pan on the stove over medium heat. We're going to add cream to our sauce eventually, but we have to temper it first. If you add cold cream to hot sauce, the cream will curdle and you'll look like an asshole for serving some ugly curdled shit and you will NOT get laid. So, once this new pan is hot, add 1 pint of heavy cream to it. Heavy means 40% milkfat, or at least no lower than 37%. Nothing else will work. Do not be a fucking ass polyp and try to use half & half or soymilk or some shit. Are you trying to be healthy or are you trying to make food that will get your penis touched by strangers?

Once the cream starts to simmer, add a few ladles of the liquid from the sauce to it and whisk it in. bring to a boil and allow to boil rapidly for about 3 minutes, then add the cream mixture back into the rest of the sauce and stir rapidly until smoothly blended. Clean the pan that had the cream in it; we're going to need it again shortly.

Now the water in the stockpot should be at a rapid boil, so throw 2 lbs of spaghetti noodles in that motherfucker and cook them until they are al dente and not a fucking second longer. Shock the pasta to stop it from overcooking.

Put the now-clean pan that we used to temper and reduce the cream back on the burner over medium-high heat. We're going to use this pan for the final heating and tossing.

Time out: OK, listen up fuckers. If you just thought you could put some pasta in a bowl and pour the sauce over the top of it, GTFO right now and go back to the fucking Olive Garden. Properly prepared pasta must be tossed IN the sauce so that it actually absorbs some of the sauce and allows the remaining sauce to STICK to the pasta rather than slide off of it and form an ugly congealed puddle in the bottom of the dish. And FYI, this is the REAL reason for NEVER putting oil in the pasta water. That oil will get on the pasta and keep the sauce from sticking to it. Don't fucking argue with me about this, I'm right and you will be wrong. That's why I get paid stupid money to do this for a living and you buy cans of Ragu. Now back to our recipe.

OK, once the pan is hot, add 3 ladles of sauce to the pan (I used a 6 oz ladle, adjust accordingly if yours is smaller or larger) and use a pair of tongs to add a large pinch of the cooked noodles, allowing the water to drain out of them for a couple seconds first. Shake the pan vigorously over the flame. If you pay close attention, you should be able to SEE the moment when the sauce stops sliding around over the pasta and starts being absorbed by it. Give it a few more seconds then transfer to a deep-sided dinner plate or a pasta bowl. Repeat until you have as many servings as you need, then sprinkle each plate with a chiffonade (that means very thinly-sliced ribbons) of fresh basil.

To accomplish this in the correct manner: take the sprigs of basil and pinch off the inner flower/crown of smaller leaves. reserve these for garnish. Of the remaining leaves, take the largest leaf and cup it as though it were a cigarette or joint paper, then put the other leaves in side of it and roll it as though it were a joint. You can leave out the part where you lick it. Now put your basil roll on the cutting board and with your sharpest knife (ceramic blades work great for this if you have one) slice it across the roll as thinly as possible. you want to slice gently rather than push down with the knife as that will cause the basil to bruise and blacken more quickly.

For final garnish, we're going to need the ricotta cheese. Any asshole can scoop a ball of ricotta, so we're going to be better than that and make quennelles (essentially a wedge shaped like an orange slice) by first scooping out a ball (use a tablespoon and get a good heap) then using the back of a second spoon to smoosh it into the correct shape by sort of dragging it down across the scoop of ricotta so that on one side of the scoop it retains its full height and curvature and the side where you ended your stroke with the 2nd spoon is flush with the edge of the spoon. Pop your quennelle of ricotta out onto the top of the pile of pasta and sauce, and plant one of the reserved basil tops into it like a flag.

When you are done, it should look something like this:



except it won't look exactly like that because I decided to take a pic after everyone had already eaten so there were no more basil tops left (I just used a leaf) and I didn't feel like fully prepping a plate that wasn't going to be eaten so I broke my own rule and just poured the sauce over a pile of pasta. So yours should look even better than that because the noodles will have absorbed some of the sauce and your quennelle of ricotta will have a beautiful basil top sticking out of it rather than a limp leaf which had been wilting on a warm countertop while everyone was eating.

If anyone actually decides to take this on, I'd love to hear how it went for you and how it tasted. And don't forget to take a picture!
#146
Turkey. Duh. 18 pounds. Should be enough to feed 4 or 5 people. Brined it for 2 days beforehand. pat dry and kosher salt the hist out of the inside cavity. No stuffing, this fucks up how the bird cooks. Do your stuffing on the side in the oven like your vengeful bloody gods demand. Dry spice rub consisting of kosher salt, brown sugar, allspice, paprika, garlic powder, chili powder, ground thyme, black pepper, kachai powder. It's in the oven now. It will be glorious.

Pan Gravy made from the turkey drippings.

Mashed Potatoes with roasted garlic and roasted pasilla pepper cream.

St. Thomian sweet potato stuffing. This stuff is awesome.

Green Bean casserole with crispy salt pork, caramelized shallots and parmesan cream sauce.

mushroom caps broiled in bacon grease, kijafa cherry wine, soy sauce, and honey and stuffed with fresh crabmeat lightly dressed in mae ploy sweet chili sauce.

homemade cranbberry-cherry sauce made with Oregon cherries and lemongrass-infused simple syrup.

Pumpkin Pie with chantilly cream.
#148
Two vast and trunkless legs of stone / HEY YOU GUYS!!!!
November 12, 2010, 05:22:47 PM
Stop being mopey emo douchetards.  :lulz:

You're grown-ass men, FFS.

Also, you're killing the lulz.
#150
(and any other active or retired service members ITT)

Thanks guys. Happy Veterans Day. Here's hoping somebody buys you the drink of your choice today.