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Someone make it stop before I commit arson.

PM me your address. I already have quite a few spags though.

Supplies are limited, and I can't guarantee you will get one after everyone on my actual list is fulfilled. Also, I can't promise I won't look at where you live via Google Earth either.


...Roger has a swimming pool!

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Discordianism#Controversy_and_criticism

While appearing on Oprah in 2008, Tom Cruise entered a banter about Scientology and was assaulted with much verbal vitriol by Sovereign Reverend-Princess Kaousuu, who was starring opposite of him in an upcoming film when he made a jab about her Discordian faith. Brandishing her Hand of Eris tattooed wrist for all to see, she proceeded to cut-down Cruise and Scientology. She was then fired from her acting career and replaced with Angelina Jolie, because she doesn't have controversial tattoos.

Edit: Never mind, I know who did it, and he's not on this board. 

I'M GOING TO WATCH TWILIGHT.

YOU PLACE BETS ON HOW LONG I WATCH IT FOR OR WHAT IT BRINGS ME TO DO.

K?
K.

GODSPEED YOU GLORIOUS FAGGOTS. I WILL MISS YOU.

Goddamnit, I should be working.

You're all broke, and I have stuff I don't want. Let's see if we can fix that. I don't have boxes for these.

Name your price on anything, I plan to let everything go relatively cheap but still profitable for me. I can ship overseas but I have no idea if you'll get it in time.


Sterling silver Celtic knot heart pendant w/chain.



Dark sapphire solitaire pendant set in 14k gold. No chain. September birthstone.

Peridot solitaire pendant set in sterling silver. No chain. August birthstone.

(You can tell I'm a collector.)

Pair of 14k pierced earrings. Dangling circular lotus flower design. Really cool!

Pair of sterling silver piercing earrings. Small chandelier style with CZ inlays. NEVER WORN.



Sterling silver and red opal cabochon ring. Size 7. It's a little bent and I gotta give it a good polish but it's really cool. I got it at a 2nd hand store in NYC.

Sterling silver Celtic knot band, size 6. Yes, this is my 2nd wedding band, but I didn't get much wear out of it. In fact, I think it's cursed, so this is the gift to give to that special someone you want to break up with but don't know how! Or your worst enemy as a "peace offering".  

(Bad scan, I know. I have to try to get a better picture but jewelry is hard.)


And no, not everything is a gift from Herbert.  

<---- Suu almost the entire movie.


I hate adaptations. Even off of Dan Brown novels they can't even be accurate or good.

SHE JUST TEXTED ME AND TOLD ME THAT I SUCK BECAUSE I TOLD HER THAT GS ALREADY LEFT FOR THE DAY.

OKAY THEN!



RICHTER, GET THE SPEAR!

Okay, so my roommates were like, "Oh yeah, we have all of that stuff, you're all set."


...Cinnamon sticks, okay fine.

...Whole nutmeg? Fuck, okay, I can do this.

...ALLSPICE? HOW THE FUCK DO YOU GRIND THESE?!

Is this something I can just smash?

The house is full of food and you can't eat any of it because it all has destinations for tomorrow.  

-Suu
Fucking starving.

'lkl;oipl

                                                           MBNBNBBNASERTW4ERAFWRET09OHBGGGGGG
--------P[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[KII./                                          M

http://www.abcactionnews.com/news/local/story/Tampa-City-Council-passes-transgender-law/VUsyp9qXZEK_zbU_lIgIIQ.cspx

Florida has really come about since Jeb Bush is no longer in control, but I wonder how long it will take before the state steps in and flips over this, or enough people try to overturn it.

This is one of a few forwards that they sent me already:

White House

no more

Christmas Ornaments!




Hard to believe what Obama is doing, but I checked this out on hoax/slayer. The White House will celebrate "Winter Holiday" this year, not Christmas. I hope the people in this country wake up soon.


Thought you might be interested in this information from the White House. This isn't a rumor; this is a fact.
We have a friend at church who is a talented artist.  For several years she, among many others, has painted ornaments to be hung on the various White House Christmas trees.  The White House sends out an invitation to send an ornament and informs the artists of the theme for the year.


She got her letter from the White House recently.

It said that they would not be called Christmas trees this year.  They will be called Holiday trees.

And, to please

do not send any ornaments painted

with a religious theme.

She was very upset at this development and sent back a reply telling them that she painted the ornaments for Christmas trees and would not be sending any for a display that left Christ out of Christmas.

Just thought you should know what the new residents in the White House plan for the future of America .  If you missed his statement that

"we do not consider ourselves a Christian Nation"

this should confirm that he plans to take us away

from our religious foundation as quickly as possible.


Oh Lord .............!

I need something to counter this. ASAP.

GO

http://www2.turnto10.com/jar/news/local/article/long_island_lolita_appearing_in_providence/26950/

Suggestions?

UNFRIEND.

http://blog.oup.com/2009/11/unfriend/

Because it's srs bzns when someone unfriends you.

Alright, I'm poor again this year. So I've decided to do a small run of handbags made from reclaimed hoodies and materials from Salvation Army, et al. for gifts. They will all be different, and I'll probably start making them full-swing after I move.

Anyone else doing handmade this year?

Also, I'm open to barter artwork/sewing once again for any interested parties.

This shit ain't taken me alive.

I have zinc lozenges, NyQuil, pseudoephedrine (the real deal), Ricolas, and green tea.

There is no way in hell I'm catching the flu or any semblance of a cold. No sir. This sore throat and stuffy nose? If it's there in the morning it better be prepared for some serious biological warfare.


NO GERM INFECTS ME AND GETS AWAY TO TELL THE TALE.

INVADERS MUST DIE!

WASHINGTON — A chagrined GOP Chairman Michael Steele has told Republican National Committee staff to immediately stop providing RNC employees with insurance for elective abortions — an option that Republicans strongly oppose as Democrats try to pass a health care overhaul bill.

"Money from our loyal donors should not be used for this purpose," Steele said in a statement late Thursday after learning of the abortion coverage from a news report. "I don't know why this policy existed in the past, but it will not exist under my administration. Consider this issue settled."

Steele instructed staff to inform the insurance carrier that the RNC wanted to opt out of elective abortion coverage, RNC spokeswoman Gail Gitcho said. She said the policy has been in effect since 1991.

Read more: http://www.nypost.com/p/news/national/republican_national_committee_ends_ZxAfjfDNrNachVMAKWEnZL#ixzz0X8N9OEV8

"Kaousuu crosses the Connecticut"
go!

[Sovereign Princess Kaousuu of the Bridges, Bays and Block-like Island]

I, the Sovereign Princess Kaousuu of the Bridges, Bays and Block-like Island, hearby declare the following peerages in my court:


General Sheumais Stuart of Johnston;  Consort to the Princess, Marquess of the Swamp Yankees, Steward to the lands of the Northwest. Leader of the Principality's forces.

Duke Richter of the Sphincter; protector of Providence. Ale conner to the Princess, Rector of the First Church of Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion, SPoK.

Marchioness Leln of Worcester; overseer of the Greater Blackstone Valley.

Baron Dimo of Coventry; Count of the Warwicks. Steward to South County.

Baron Eater of Clowns of Bedford; Count of  Chorico, Linguica, and Rats. Protector of East Bay, South Shore, Cape Cod, and the Islands.

Sir LMNO of Outside Boston;  Baron Beantown and chief ambassador to Long Island.

Lord Cainad of the Stony Brook; Junior Ambassador to Long Island.

Lord Mangrove of Hartford; protector of the Border.

Darth Cupcake of the Sith; Lady of Rock City.

Lady Eve of the Shoreline;  keeper of the New Haven Territories, ambassador to Boston.

Magister Cramulus of the Hudson; Chief Advisor, keeper of the WOMP, and Protector of the Metropolis.

Sir What's His Name? of the Downeasters; Magister of the Punnery, Steward to the Lands of the Northeast.

Dame TrippinPrincezz of the Hills; Retainer of the Tax-Free Liquor Stores.

http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1810081563/video/16576836

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!

I seemed to have inhaled a form of an herbal cigarette and with it went a couple of delicious beerz and by doing so I'm feeling rather prophetic and and pious and preachy.

Confess your sins and I shall grant you penance so that you shall be forgiven.


Her Highness and High Reverend Kaousuu, ESQ.
1st Temple of Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion, Providence, SPoK.
Canonizer of St. Richter of the Sphincter

[Suu Guide to Tipping]

Look, money is tight, I know this. In fact, you can't fucking ESCAPE IT having to deal with the media shoving it down your throat on the hour. However, don't use the "money is tight" excuse to me when you go out to eat at night and only bring gift certificates and coupons not redeemable for cash and assume you can get away tipping me with imaginary money. It just doesn't work that way.

You'll bitch about this country turning "Socialist", but I can't think of anything more capitalist than giving your server his or her fair share of your bill. Maybe I'm not being clear here, we make slave wages to pay our taxes, I personally make $2.89 an hour which is the Rhode Island minimum for tipped positions. Yes, that's right, I make a few cents more than the Chinese kids sewing together your Nikes. If you don't tip me, I don't pay my bills, and the credit crunch gets worse.

Sure, you'll go, "Gee Suu, you must get great tips with this sort of attitude. " Well you know what, I do, because like every other red-blooded human being in the food service industry, I have a hardened facade of a character I put on to make sure you get what you want, when you want it with a smile on my face. I put forth every effort to make sure that I deserve that 20%.

When you get a pay cut, do you not have the God Given Right™ as an American™ to complain? Of course you do! And so do I. Money is money, and money is tight, yadda yadda yadda,well if money is so damn tight, don't go out to eat. I have a better night when it's slow and I get a few good tables who spend the money than a busy night full of cheap fucks ordering grilled cheese at a 3 star to save a buck. And still, 20% of $20 is $4, not $2! Can't you do math? Or are you going to blame the economy on that too? Also, DO NEVER MULTIPLY THE TAX BY TWO.  Stupid idea whomever came up with THAT one...

"So quit." You'll tell me, and then, what if I do? Then what if all the other servers who took their 5% pay cut do as well? You'll have no one left to serve you. That's a real good job you did on the economy there! Restaurants will close, more people will become unemployed, and the only chain to come out of it alive will be Taco Bell. It's true, I've seen it in a movie.

Bottom line is, kids, tip your servers and bartenders 20% of your check. Tip for me, tip for your friends, Tip for Cain, who works in England and gets paid better than I do anyway by custom, tip for everyone you know that works in a restaurant or could have their livelihood affected by someone who works in a tipped position. You'll be thankful the next time you go out to your favorite local restaurant and it's still there.

If it helps, here's a handy Suu Guide to Tipping (my averages are higher since all servers believe in karma)

Exceptional Service or server that reminds me too much of myself: 25-30%
Average Service, nothing of note but still good: 20%
"Where the hell is she?": 18%
"She sucks." : 15%
"You think it's more important to insult my baseball team than get my drink refill": 10% and a nasty note on the charge slip AND telling the manager on the way out.

Insta-20% Formula for tipping: $2 on every $10, an extra dollar for every amount over 5 more dollars.

Example: The check total is $47.24. 20% of 40 is $8. Since it's past 45, you should tip at least $9.















...This message has been brought to you by a really angry server who got her first flat 15% tip average night since she was 19 and waiting on Florida trash and cheap Canadians.

I think I pissed off my friend on Facebook.

First of all, posting about your psychiatric disorders is always a cry for attention IMHO. His new one is Avoidance Personality Disorder. Naturally, someone with Asperger's (his first diagnosis! The new scapegoat for anything wrong with you in today's society, of course.) would typically BE shy and maybe have very negative beliefs about themselves.  So I pointed out that it sounded like the shrink was out to make a buck.

Someone steps forward and basically rips me a new one because not all psychiatrists are bad and are genuinely trying to help people. Which I agreed with, but then counterpointed that I felt he should learn all he could about this diagnosis and maybe get a second opinion because I didn't feel from what I know of my friend for it to be gelling.

This bitch fires back at me, and I ask if she was currently taking any psychiatric medications, to which was responded, "I'm severely bipolar, but that's none of your business. My doctor saved my life!"

If it's none of my business, why did you tell me your diagnosis? Which isn't what I asked ANYWAY?! Again, something I've seen, bragging about your severe mental illness. Which is a sort of status symbol in Rhode Island.

So, my last response, "I just think that too many people today assume that something should be wrong with them because it's become the society "norm" to be crazy and drugged. [Friend] is a great guy and I wish him the best of luck, but I just hope he's getting the treatment he deserves."

And left it at that.  She has yet to respond...and now posts are missing that we made. 


-Suu

Has seen real bi-polar in action, and the person who has it doesn't exactly like to brag about it.

Happy birthday, Richter! (Yeah I know it's a day late but stfu.)

That is all.

You may now return to your regularly scheduled football season.

I'll be moving up to Burlington around Thanksgiving. It may only be for a few months while my boyfriend finishes his archaeological dig contract, but while I'm there I will need to find employment if I want to survive. Well, I'm sure my boyfriend will feed me, but he doesn't want me being a deadbeat, and neither do I.

I have a degree in graphic design and a small portfolio of recent contract and freelance work I was able to do before the economy tanked down here in RI. Since then I've been waiting tables at a small bistro (which is about to close), which I have significant experience with as well for quite a few years going back to high school. In fact, I would consider serving my actual "career" since it's what's paying off my student loans, and not the piece of paper I paid a significant amount of money for. I've also worked for a bank call center sharking student loans to pay my loans...but that tanked as well. Hence my escape from Rhode Island as fast as the snow can carry me. I'd totally move back to Florida if I could, but I was just in Burlington this past weekend and sort of liked the place, so I figured I'd give it a shot even though the winter is coming.

I will be happy to forward my resume and design samples to anyone who requests it. I will also consider any position available for food service, customer service, and lip service if the pay is decent. I also do some sewing as a side job and my specialty is medieval and renaissance clothing, but I've done everything from hemming pants to a Cinderella dress for a 7" transgender for last year's Gay Pride Parade in Providence. I also like comic books, Star Wars, long walks on the beach and a paycheck.


Of note: I've never skied (please note the "from Florida" bit) and don't really know anything about it, so I doubt working in a resort is a good idea. I like watching it during the Olympics, but that's about it.


Thanks for looking!


PS: If you know of any month-to-month apartment rentals too, that would be super.

I do love Craigslist sometimes.

http://www.birdsbeforethestorm.net/2009/10/steampunks-professor-calamity-faces-multiple-felonies-for-twittering/

SteamPunk Magazine author (and, honestly, the inspiration for SteamPunk Magazine) Professor Calamity is facing two felonies for allegedly running a twitter account. He has been accused of running a twitter feed of police movements during the Pittsburgh G-20 protests, protests for which the police are already being sued.

http://www.sankakucomplex.com/2009/05/05/the-anime-bubble-is-burst-moe-fansubs-are-to-blame/

The internet says so. And I believe it.

Your bosses neglected to tell you that they were no longer opening the restaurant for lunch.

Congratulations! You're now UNEMPLOYED unless people want to give up their night shifts.

SUU AND GENERAL STUART'S VERMONT EXTRAVAGANZA!

Coming to YUO live starting TODAY!

But first I have to get there...

Watch the hilarity unfold:

http://twitter.com/kaousuu

"I think it's a stupid idea." My coworker said, sipping her after-shift drink and looking back at me with a raised eyebrow. "There are better ways to spend Powerball winnings."

"You see, I don't think so." I replied, staring into the darkness of my rum-infused diet cola, "I see no point in having 12 cars. I simply want to pay off my debt, go back to school, and buy the armory. Once the armory is completely overhauled into a functional castle, I intend to level the neighborhood around it, and build a moat..."

"And you'll displace all those people?!"

"No...They will be my vassals." I looked at her; expressionless.

"Shut up." She snapped back, shaking her head, "You're crazy, let's talk about something else."

"I'm dead serious."

"No you're not, you'll never win the lottery anyway!"

"But if I did..." I raised my glass to my lips, "That's exactly what I'm doing."

"It's not possible. There is no way that you could convince 100 families to be your vassals."

"Why not? I'd offer them more than what the state is doing now. They would have their own land that they'd work for me, and in return I would provide them housing and necessarily protection with modern amenities such as comprehensive healthcare."

"Nobody would go for it."

"Yes they will."

"How do you figure?"

I smirked, "They won't have a choice..."

She froze, "You're serious? Holy shit, you're actually SERIOUS?!"

My expression didn't break, "Do I look like I'm joking?"

She inhaled sharply, and reached for her drink, "Let's talk about something else."

I'm pissed that I'm not going to be a bridesmaid in my cousin's wedding.

We made a fucking DEAL at MY wedding that we would all rotate in each others wedding parties with our sisters as our maid of honor and then the two cousins as bridesmaids.

Apparently my divorce has got the white sheep of the family scared and she's convinced that I'd be bad luck in the wedding party. She also decided that she wanted to buy her dress rather than me make it custom to what she wants BECAUSE SHE'S A FUCKING SPOILED BRAT.


Fuck it. If I show up at that wedding, I will have a golden apple with me of some sorts. Mark my words.









Also, the fucking dresses are horrible anyway. I had better taste.








...AND I'm going to show up in red, in a dress that I made for myself that's totally couture!

BWUA







EDWARDIAN FEATHER OVERCOMPENSATION

Oh man am I laughing.

It's almost midnight and I'm rolling, I'm cackling, I'm mad as a fucking hatter.

JUSTIFIED.

JUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTIIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDD!!!!

To put a spike on a helmet?

I'm doing pseudo-WWI propaganda on a tote bag, this will be for sale.

So far it says "Your Empire Needs You! ENLIST NOW!" Which I got from British posters of the time, and considering we all know the outcome, I'm wondering if the more conservative populace of the nation will be just a tad offended if I doodle in an Iron Cross and helmet spike.

I mean, it's not like I wrote the whole thing in German, right?

[The Great International Beer Festival!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

The Great International Beer Festival!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Providence, RI

November 14th

$36 - unlimited sampling

http://www.beerfestamerica.com/

I'm going to the 1pm show because I don't feel like dealing with chanting drunk frat boys at the later one.

What do you think of my new chandelier earrings?

What exactly defines an adult anyway?

One can claim that they're grown up because they hit a certain age, but when do you actually feel like you've come to a point where you can consider yourself mature?

I pay bills, I pay rent, I work, I budget money, I was married, I do everything I'm supposed to do, but I don't want to grow up. I'm only 3 years from another decade of existence, but I still haven't reached my tenure.  People will always tell you to grow up, but do we ever actually hit that mark? When do you know you're ready? I don't think I am, in fact it frightens me.

I look in the mirror, and these older pictures of me, the mirror still shows what I want it to see, and I close my eyes and remember what I was, and then new photographs show differently.  I'm aging,  but my body image is skewed by the desire to cling to youth as it slips from within me and around me.  In my mind, my sister is still a baby, my hair is still long, I'm still in Florida, hanging on to the innocence of youth and telling myself to not make the mistakes I've made.

But it's too late, right? To go back and fix it all. I can't just close my eyes and change the past, can I? Is there a way? Tell me if there is.

They have no idea that I have acquired these...








I have to admit Herbert never looked so good...

Restaurant closed again for the weekend, which means I'm down $250 at least again...Boss poored half the bottle of Gosling's into a cup and then topped with Diet Coke for me.

...When he wasn't looking I took 2 Dixie Blackened Voodoo bottles that are now in my fridge chillin'.

Called mom, she transferred me monies.

My brother called me fat and said that he wants to kill roommates, but that if he's the one that foots the bill to fly me down for Christmas, I'm not coming back to Rhode Island. He will pay for my permanent move back to Florida only.

General Stuart comes home tomorrow.

I'm drunk because i started drinking at 11am and having stopped and thinking about destroying things.



ASK ME ANYTHING

Just cause these are the most local ones. I am however, open to suggestions.

This really IS an effective way to make your waistline smaller. The idea of food right now makes me want to throw up.  

It also managed to push all of the fat from my stomach into my FUPA, so now I have a SUPA FUPA. Gross.

Oh well, I do this shit for science. In 4 months after wearing this every day I should be able to close it.

Also: Slouching in a computer chair = Don't even try it. I don't think I could get back up if I tried.

BEST.

FUCKING.

HALLOWEEN.

CARD.

EVER.

WHAT IS IT?! GET IT AWAY OF ME!!!!



IT SHOULD NOT BE 38F RIGHT NOW. NO NO NO.

http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays

Seriously.

...With Squid's mac and cheese death recipe: http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=20270.msg684268#msg684268

Pictures and arterial bypasses forthcoming.

I think I'm going for it again. Anyone else this year?

Woo Team PD!

For science.